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My story of Magic TV Uprising

 

01-26-12 05:09 PM
magicman55 is Offline
| ID: 535864 | 796 Words

magicman55
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Hello everyone! I need your opinion on my story. I lost this story a long time ago and finally found it again. It's not done, but I will post more to it when I do more on it. Please read it. Have fun reading!

Jack prepared his squad for a recon mission, to find a group of Mixed Aliens that landed in the nearby forest. His group was simple, 15 Humans and 15 Robots. "Everyone must have the right weapons for this mission." Jack said "Even though it's only recon, you can never be sure what's out there. He began to list weapons needed. "Machine guns" His squad replied all at the same time. "Check"
    "Pistols"
    "Check"
    "and last but not least, close combat knives"
    "Check"
    He didn't bother to list off weapons to the robots, they were programmed to have those weapons ready when called to a mission.
    "Generals, you got your squads ready?" Jack said over his COM channel. "Yep, I've got my the Boy Scouts ready for their camp out." Montrescon replied. "And the others?" "Got them all packed up and ready to go!" Lonestar shouted over the COM. "I have mine ready also." Fireman said, much quieter than Lonestar did.
    "Move em' out! We've got Aliens to kill." Jack replied to all of them.
    They set out immediately, and met up with the other Generals, and their squads, outside. They moved into the forest, as quiet as they could. They couldn't tell how close, or far the enemy was. The troopers began joking around. "Hey, remember that last battle when Jack had a sniper and landed a shot into the enemy commanders head, and the others couldn't tell where it had come from." One of the Troopers started to say. "I swear I saw one of them start flailing his arms in the air and screaming!" They all began to laugh except for Jack, who only grinned. Sometimes when Jack City troopers are joking around, they don't even have to say anything that funny to get everyone to laugh. While they were laughing, Jack added one little thing on to what the trooper had said. "Those idiots still don't know what hit him." After Jack said that, the began to laugh more.
    Montrescon interrupted their constant laughing. "Hey, do you hear that?" He said quietly. They all heard moving leaves and snapping of branches. "That's them." Jack said. "Spread out squads, find some clearings to hide in. Generals, follow me, we're going ahead of the pack. They all moved as quickly and quietly as they could, and the Generals turned on their COM to each other.
    "See anything?" Lonestar asked. "A definite no." Fireman said. "I hate not being able to use my fire. Cause it'll 'burn down the woods'." Fireman said with an aggravated tone in his voice. "Only you can prevent wildfires." Jack said. They all chuckled.
    "Got my sights on one." Montrescon said. "He ain't moving so I'll take him out." There was silence over the COM. "He's been taken care of." Montrescon said happily. "Oh man, I'm under fire!" Jack said. There were three Mixed Aliens attacking him. He aimed and blasted as fast as he could. One fell onto it's back, without a scream of death. The second one looked at his fallen comrade for a split second, then opened fire again. Jack already knew they would lose. The last two fell to the ground, with a short scream, then silence.
    "They have been taken care of." Jack said triumphantly over the COM. "Great news to hear, now you've killed more than us." Lonestar said.
    Jack heard Machine gun fire from his squad. It lasted for a bit, then ended. "Looks like my squad just another." Jack said. The other Generals knew that he was really saying that his squad was better. "Well, when we get back, they should get somethi-" Jack was interrupted by something he feared to hear come from his squad. Screams. "I need to check on my squad, to make sure they're not messing with me." Jack said angrily. Their were more screams, from all the other squads. "Generals! Back to your squads! NOW!" Jack screamed. He was running as fast as he could, and their were no more screams. He was close to his squad, his heart was pounding harder than ever. One mixed alien was easy to kill, same with two, but with that many screams, their had to be about 24 of them or more. He got to his squad, and found bad things.
    "Jack? You at your squad yet? Are there loses?" Montrescon asked. "there is nobody here, living at least" Jack said. "Loses, three robots, all humans."

Please tell me what you think of it! Thanks for reading!
Hello everyone! I need your opinion on my story. I lost this story a long time ago and finally found it again. It's not done, but I will post more to it when I do more on it. Please read it. Have fun reading!

Jack prepared his squad for a recon mission, to find a group of Mixed Aliens that landed in the nearby forest. His group was simple, 15 Humans and 15 Robots. "Everyone must have the right weapons for this mission." Jack said "Even though it's only recon, you can never be sure what's out there. He began to list weapons needed. "Machine guns" His squad replied all at the same time. "Check"
    "Pistols"
    "Check"
    "and last but not least, close combat knives"
    "Check"
    He didn't bother to list off weapons to the robots, they were programmed to have those weapons ready when called to a mission.
    "Generals, you got your squads ready?" Jack said over his COM channel. "Yep, I've got my the Boy Scouts ready for their camp out." Montrescon replied. "And the others?" "Got them all packed up and ready to go!" Lonestar shouted over the COM. "I have mine ready also." Fireman said, much quieter than Lonestar did.
    "Move em' out! We've got Aliens to kill." Jack replied to all of them.
    They set out immediately, and met up with the other Generals, and their squads, outside. They moved into the forest, as quiet as they could. They couldn't tell how close, or far the enemy was. The troopers began joking around. "Hey, remember that last battle when Jack had a sniper and landed a shot into the enemy commanders head, and the others couldn't tell where it had come from." One of the Troopers started to say. "I swear I saw one of them start flailing his arms in the air and screaming!" They all began to laugh except for Jack, who only grinned. Sometimes when Jack City troopers are joking around, they don't even have to say anything that funny to get everyone to laugh. While they were laughing, Jack added one little thing on to what the trooper had said. "Those idiots still don't know what hit him." After Jack said that, the began to laugh more.
    Montrescon interrupted their constant laughing. "Hey, do you hear that?" He said quietly. They all heard moving leaves and snapping of branches. "That's them." Jack said. "Spread out squads, find some clearings to hide in. Generals, follow me, we're going ahead of the pack. They all moved as quickly and quietly as they could, and the Generals turned on their COM to each other.
    "See anything?" Lonestar asked. "A definite no." Fireman said. "I hate not being able to use my fire. Cause it'll 'burn down the woods'." Fireman said with an aggravated tone in his voice. "Only you can prevent wildfires." Jack said. They all chuckled.
    "Got my sights on one." Montrescon said. "He ain't moving so I'll take him out." There was silence over the COM. "He's been taken care of." Montrescon said happily. "Oh man, I'm under fire!" Jack said. There were three Mixed Aliens attacking him. He aimed and blasted as fast as he could. One fell onto it's back, without a scream of death. The second one looked at his fallen comrade for a split second, then opened fire again. Jack already knew they would lose. The last two fell to the ground, with a short scream, then silence.
    "They have been taken care of." Jack said triumphantly over the COM. "Great news to hear, now you've killed more than us." Lonestar said.
    Jack heard Machine gun fire from his squad. It lasted for a bit, then ended. "Looks like my squad just another." Jack said. The other Generals knew that he was really saying that his squad was better. "Well, when we get back, they should get somethi-" Jack was interrupted by something he feared to hear come from his squad. Screams. "I need to check on my squad, to make sure they're not messing with me." Jack said angrily. Their were more screams, from all the other squads. "Generals! Back to your squads! NOW!" Jack screamed. He was running as fast as he could, and their were no more screams. He was close to his squad, his heart was pounding harder than ever. One mixed alien was easy to kill, same with two, but with that many screams, their had to be about 24 of them or more. He got to his squad, and found bad things.
    "Jack? You at your squad yet? Are there loses?" Montrescon asked. "there is nobody here, living at least" Jack said. "Loses, three robots, all humans."

Please tell me what you think of it! Thanks for reading!
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