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Rayman85
09-05-19 12:16 AM
09-05-19 12:16 AM
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So easy... So flawed... So overall boring!
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9.5
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4.5
09-05-19 12:16 AM
Rayman85 is Offline
| ID: 1374887 | 8 Words
| ID: 1374887 | 8 Words
Rayman85
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Please send this post to the Trash Can. |
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09-05-19 02:00 PM
EX Palen is Offline
| ID: 1374891 | 324 Words
| ID: 1374891 | 324 Words
EX Palen
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Not sure why, but your post doesn't display correctly in the Reply page and it doesn't have the usual horizontal bar the old page had to let you view widened posts. Could be an isolated issue, but just in case we'll keep an eye on new threads/replies and see if it happens again.
About your review, I'll admit I haven't gone into it in depth just yet, but so far I see a couple things that would need to be addressed. First of all, I'd highlight each category (or section, if you prefer) by using a header or an horizontal line. These are easy to do via HTML tags, and will allow readers to know at first sight where exactly does a section start and maybe also end, as well as giving them an easier time finding a specific section they want to see. Second, while you may have included the Addictiveness and Depth fields somewhere into your guide, I see that you didn't rate any of the standard fields. I know you're not a friend of the structure we use in this site, but the scores show at the top of the page and thus a quick look through them gives the reader a glimpse of the writer's opinion, which is explained in full detail later on. As a personal note, I'd place a hyperlink instead of embedding the video. Whether or not it's the cause of the issue I noted in the first paragraph, I think the embedded video somehow breaks down the styling or harmony of the review. You could also try rearranging it to the end of the Audio section if you include HTML tags like I've stated above, but I'm not very sure if it's going to work. That's everything I can say for now. I have the hunch the review could be trimmed down a bit, but I won't know for sure until I read it in detail. About your review, I'll admit I haven't gone into it in depth just yet, but so far I see a couple things that would need to be addressed. First of all, I'd highlight each category (or section, if you prefer) by using a header or an horizontal line. These are easy to do via HTML tags, and will allow readers to know at first sight where exactly does a section start and maybe also end, as well as giving them an easier time finding a specific section they want to see. Second, while you may have included the Addictiveness and Depth fields somewhere into your guide, I see that you didn't rate any of the standard fields. I know you're not a friend of the structure we use in this site, but the scores show at the top of the page and thus a quick look through them gives the reader a glimpse of the writer's opinion, which is explained in full detail later on. As a personal note, I'd place a hyperlink instead of embedding the video. Whether or not it's the cause of the issue I noted in the first paragraph, I think the embedded video somehow breaks down the styling or harmony of the review. You could also try rearranging it to the end of the Audio section if you include HTML tags like I've stated above, but I'm not very sure if it's going to work. That's everything I can say for now. I have the hunch the review could be trimmed down a bit, but I won't know for sure until I read it in detail. |
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09-05-19 06:46 PM
Rayman85 is Offline
| ID: 1374903 | 179 Words
| ID: 1374903 | 179 Words
Rayman85
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EX Palen : I've changed it so that the video isn't directly here, but instead it gives you a direct YouTube link. I hope that helps you out here, otherwise I'm changing it back to the way it was. I don't directly rate categories because most people don't do it on GameFAQS.com so I just follow their lead, and I don't highlight them because they do stand out on their own due to how much horizontal blank space is left in their respective lines plus how the line above it is directly blank.
The reason this review is 5000+ words long is because I wanted to thoroughly explain why I find this game to be so boring (and flawed in comparison to Mario Kart Wii and 7) so people will understand that I sincerely dislike this game and that I'm not just hating on a popular game for the sake of hating it to stand out. With all that said, hopefully you can read the entire review properly now and give me your honest opinions about it as a whole. The reason this review is 5000+ words long is because I wanted to thoroughly explain why I find this game to be so boring (and flawed in comparison to Mario Kart Wii and 7) so people will understand that I sincerely dislike this game and that I'm not just hating on a popular game for the sake of hating it to stand out. With all that said, hopefully you can read the entire review properly now and give me your honest opinions about it as a whole. |
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09-06-19 02:12 PM
EX Palen is Offline
| ID: 1374915 | 458 Words
| ID: 1374915 | 458 Words
EX Palen
Spanish Davideo7
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Removing the video made the review much more streamlined, and it also solved the display issue on the Reply page so I'd say keep the hyperlink there.
Categories don't stand out on their own, and the reason is simple: you don't treat it any different than a regular paragraph. There's no way of quickly guessing where does the long intro end and when do you start with gameplay, and the same thing happens as you go down because there are tons of paragraphs and sometimes they're quite long. Sure, a line with only one word can be spotted, but you give a similar treatment to battle modes. A section's title and a sub-section (if battle modes can actually be called subsections of the gameplay section) must be differentiated easily, which is why I insist on using tags. You must adapt your writing to whatever site you're writing for. I'm also on Gamefaqs, and when I've ported there some guides I posted here or when I translated them, I applied the proper changes depending on the different rules and formats they use. It's basically a way to optimize your writing and also to grow as a writer: take the advantage of all the unique things each site gives you. About the review as a whole, I think it uses too much vulgar language. I've used it in the past, I admit it, but using it regularly becomes too repetitive and kind of unappealing to read. I recommend using synonyms to eliminate the repetitive feeling, or at least not abuse the vulgar language, because the more "aggressive" your language is the more it seems you're just hating it to stand out. If you have valid points you can actually explain, then you don't need vulgar language, even less directly insulting other games or people (some can love what you hate and viceversa, and not for that reason do they deserve to be insulted). My hunch was apparently right. To my taste, you're repeating a bit too much the negative aspects of the game. In my opinion, the overall section at the end is kind of unnecessary because it adds nothing new (you already said everything in the sections before it, even your own opinion about the game and the series), and the pros and cons could also be trimmed a bit because comparisons aren't needed there, that section is just a summary and doesn't need any further detailing like in previous sections which go deeply into the game. As a final personal note, while Daisy's dialogue in Double Dash could use some improvements, in my opinion her dialogues in Wii are a bit worse, specially when boosting and such because she sounds crazy like going at the speed of light. Categories don't stand out on their own, and the reason is simple: you don't treat it any different than a regular paragraph. There's no way of quickly guessing where does the long intro end and when do you start with gameplay, and the same thing happens as you go down because there are tons of paragraphs and sometimes they're quite long. Sure, a line with only one word can be spotted, but you give a similar treatment to battle modes. A section's title and a sub-section (if battle modes can actually be called subsections of the gameplay section) must be differentiated easily, which is why I insist on using tags. You must adapt your writing to whatever site you're writing for. I'm also on Gamefaqs, and when I've ported there some guides I posted here or when I translated them, I applied the proper changes depending on the different rules and formats they use. It's basically a way to optimize your writing and also to grow as a writer: take the advantage of all the unique things each site gives you. About the review as a whole, I think it uses too much vulgar language. I've used it in the past, I admit it, but using it regularly becomes too repetitive and kind of unappealing to read. I recommend using synonyms to eliminate the repetitive feeling, or at least not abuse the vulgar language, because the more "aggressive" your language is the more it seems you're just hating it to stand out. If you have valid points you can actually explain, then you don't need vulgar language, even less directly insulting other games or people (some can love what you hate and viceversa, and not for that reason do they deserve to be insulted). My hunch was apparently right. To my taste, you're repeating a bit too much the negative aspects of the game. In my opinion, the overall section at the end is kind of unnecessary because it adds nothing new (you already said everything in the sections before it, even your own opinion about the game and the series), and the pros and cons could also be trimmed a bit because comparisons aren't needed there, that section is just a summary and doesn't need any further detailing like in previous sections which go deeply into the game. As a final personal note, while Daisy's dialogue in Double Dash could use some improvements, in my opinion her dialogues in Wii are a bit worse, specially when boosting and such because she sounds crazy like going at the speed of light. |
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09-06-19 09:36 PM
Rayman85 is Offline
| ID: 1374917 | 195 Words
| ID: 1374917 | 195 Words
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EX Palen : I've addressed some of your criticisms, mostly in that I've cut out almost all of the swearing, which I must thank you for telling me was all there. If there's one thing I think you can't do with GameFAQS.com reviews is receive reception on them, meaning that you wouldn't know if there is anything particularly wrong because you couldn't have other people look it over with a different pair of eyes. Thanks! I've also edited the Overall so that it now sums up its strengths, as well as the cons that ultimately make it a uninteresting game.
As for the paragraphing, I understand where you come from in having to adapt to GameFAQS.com's rules, but I've done that style of paragraphing in all my other reviews and I personally don't find that to be an issue, even if the categories don't stand out drastically. You just need to pay close attention. Besides, I at least have a Gameplay category, so at least I'm doing something right. By the way, the pros and cons sections just sum up both the games strengths and drawbacks one last time as quick and simple recap. As for the paragraphing, I understand where you come from in having to adapt to GameFAQS.com's rules, but I've done that style of paragraphing in all my other reviews and I personally don't find that to be an issue, even if the categories don't stand out drastically. You just need to pay close attention. Besides, I at least have a Gameplay category, so at least I'm doing something right. By the way, the pros and cons sections just sum up both the games strengths and drawbacks one last time as quick and simple recap. |
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09-08-19 10:02 AM
Patrick Star is Offline
| ID: 1374923 | 109 Words
| ID: 1374923 | 109 Words
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Good review. You improved on the nitpicking and swearing a lot so that is always good. This review is also a lot easier to follow. However the nitpicking is still there in some form. The only real issue in my eyes is how you put some things that are not big deals in the cons section. If I were looking to buy this game would I be like. "Well I was going to buy this game, BUT Daisy's suit is the wrong color."
Other than that this a real good review. Maybe cut down the details in the pros and cons too since you already said all of it. Other than that this a real good review. Maybe cut down the details in the pros and cons too since you already said all of it. |
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