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07-09-19 09:08 PM
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My Sense of the Zelda Timeline: The Fallen Hero Timeline

 

07-09-19 09:08 PM
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Mecha Leo
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Aeiou, welcome back to the infuriatingly hole filled Zelda Chronology. When we last left off, our intrepid hero Lunk was squaring off against Ganondorf, now transforming into the beastial Ganon. Now he’s dead. Lunk is dead. From here, Ganon would have retrieved both the triforce of wisdom and triforce of courage, combining those with the triforce of power equates to a full triforce. Zelda runs back to the sage lobby and now everyone is freaking out because this is the one thing we didn’t want to happen, but now that every other plan has failed, it’s time to execute the backup for our backup’s backup. The seven sages unleash their combined power to seal the demon king into the sacred realm, and that will slow him down until the next game in the newly opened “fallen hero” timeline. Worth noting, A Link to the Past references how Ganondorf was a king of thieves, and he killed all his followers when he entered the sacred realm, but this doesn’t necessarily conflict with our current information, as for all we know, he went in with his fellow gerudo and slaughtered them just in time to say “nice job kid!”

First to note, is that with all the hubbub about the kingdom almost falling to one guy because he found a treasure that could grant wishes, some brave entrepreneurs began thinking “with a trinket like that I could make my own kingdom with blackjack and hookers!” There was a way into the sacred realm, mind you, but all those who found their way in were lost. When Ganon was sealed in there, his cruel heart twisted the land into a dark reflection of Hyrule, where all who entered found themselves transformed into a representation of their true selves. For the greedy, malicious, and ambitious, they only served to add to Ganon’s ever growing army of monsters. Once his numbers were large enough, he attempted to invade Hyrule with his army. The king ordered the seven sages of his time to seal the way into the dark world again... as if they wouldn’t have done that already. Like when Zelda, Rauru, Saria, Darunia, Ruto, Impa, and Nabooru locked Ganon in, they were all collectively like, “eh, not like anything’s going to come walking back out or anything.” Maybe it’s because Zelda lost her wisdom or something. After all the warring against the forces of the dark world, while Hyrule would continue, it became a mere shadow of its former self.

Ages past, and then, all at once, disasters begin to plague Hyrule. The king is desperate to find a way to end these catastrophes, whatever they are, and suddenly, Agahnim, some rando mage, manages to call forth the power to end the problems instantaneously. A reasonable person would question if Agahnim had any connection to the root cause of these problems, but the king of Hyrule was no reasonable man. Agahnim becomes the second hand man of the king, and whoopsiedoodle he ends up usurping the king, brainwashing the Hyrule guard, and kidnapping the maiden descendants of the previous seven sages. His real intent is to use the power of the maidens, and soon enough Zelda herself, to breach the seal that was placed on Ganon, allowing him to conquer Hyrule.

As seems customary, let’s talk about the biology of this era of Hyrule. In fact, a lot of the enemies here are recurrent throughout the fallen hero timeline, a lot of them aren’t very relevant though, so first we’ll talk about the race that experienced a notable change from here on, the zoras. While they still have a society, this iteration of zora is notably more... savage. Like, they’re basically stereotype Hollywood lake monsters now, they really let themselves go. Now rejecting the kingdom’s rule, they assault wanderers perpetually, annoying the crap out of new players until they get the bow and arrows and start a mass genocide of the species in reprisal. Gorons, sadly, seem to be completely absent from Hyrule in this timeline, likely driven off in past conflict. If I had to guess, without Lunk’s protection in the aftermath of Ocatime, either Volvagia the dragon was resurrected and continued to prey on the people, or his jacked cousin came to the Goron city for vengeance and beat the population to submission, forcing them to leave.

Now as for the geography, you can sorta kinda loosely maybe make out the way Hyrule advanced since those ages past. Assuming the castle remained where it is and castle town was destroyed, you can just about make out the same geography if you tilt your head a bit. Other than Kakariko village of course, which poses issues, especially due to the association of thieves who made their home here, where the Sheikah clan allegedly lived. I mean, how do you move a whole town to the other side of a castle? Well at first, I wanted to believe that was what the Eastern Palace represented, the ruins of the original town, to which I asked myself a second later “when the hell did Mutoh and his men build a pyramid over Kakariko village and why?” The plan in OoT was to turn Kaka town into a proper city, and I suppose there are two factors we can apply. First, a lot more people occupied the town after Ganondorf took over, and second, Lunk saved them from the Gerudo, so there might be a slight chance they were moved by the lovely architecture of their people and up and erected a pyramid over the place. With a functional dungeon inside that was not at all haunted by the spirits of the dead from any other conspicuous temples within the perimeter. And they abandoned it. And made a completely new town. If we’re led to believe the Sheikah can just conjure extinct technologically magically advanced civilizations from their bum-bums then I guess anything is probable.

So yeah, same song as before, Lank defeats Agahnim who may or may not have just been an avatar of Ganon himself, and after collecting the seven pure hearts goes on to beat Ganon out of his pyramid, because I guess he missed the Gerudo pyramids too, and Lank and Zelda use the triforce to grant their wishes, Zelda’s to restore Hyrule to its former glory, and Lank’s to bring back Shaun, which Shaun? Whichever Shaun you want the reference to be for. Some short time afterward, Lank decides to embark on an adventure to train himself for future threats to the world, and sails in the morning across the previously unknown sea. How did he get past the great tree wall? Then he gets knocked unconscious in a heavy storm, and awakes on Koholint island... which I will not be talking about as everything that happened there except one existing entity was basically irrelevant to the overarching chronology and there are too many games in this timeline anyways. I’m sure you can gather why that entity is related to the past games based on what I talked about in the first thread. That and they have goombas and chain chomps which is terrifying to my sense of contingency.

Speaking of what I mentioned in the first thread, I left a notable pin on the Twinrova, Koume and Kotake, which makes sense considering that in Lank’s time, they are still alive! Didn’t we see these two die in Ocarina of Time? Well there’s two theories to consider, for one, they straight up turned into angels, they didn’t rise up out of their bodies, their bodies became the spirit, which may mean this was a temporary occurrence and they eventually ᙢᗅᘜᓿᑤ'ᗫ their way back into the world to revive Ganon, or alternatively, these two, as a single Twinrova, are the manifested avatar’s of the Gerudo patron god. This ties neatly into three characters present in the Oracle games, aptly named Din, Nayru, and Farore, who share a similar trait. For one, we know where those names come from, the three gods who created the world and the triforce, as well as the elemental magics. However, the Din and Nayru we meet in the two Oracle games are definitely no gods, Farore isn’t even relevant, and by no stretch were the individuals from The Minish Cap any different. Well, think about it this way, from the very start (by that I mean a 2011 wii title) it was established that Zelda is a reincarnated form of Hylia, the light goddess who protected the Hylians and triforce in an ancient age. As such, Din, Farore, and Nayru seem to be incarnated oracles, and the ones in our current time are likely different versions from those found in The Minish Cap. So, were Twinrova returned to the world by this desert colossus goddess? I do believe this goddess was interested in Ganondorf’s success, as the Twinrova are labeled as his surrogate mothers, meaning... actually, something troubling just popped up. Ok, so basically a surrogacy is when a woman agrees to impregnate herself to provide a baby for different parents. This would make sense if, say, the goddess in question provided Ganondorf to the witches, who raise him, but the game says Twinrova are the surrogate mothers... so did they fuse as one entity to birth Ganondorf and grant him to... themselves??? Huh, and I was going to get the colossus more involved until I bothered looking that up. Anyways, let’s say Koume and Kotake cashed in a favor and were brought back to the world to retrieve their son. We good? Good, let’s move on to the actual plots of the Oracle games.

In order to revive Ganondorf, there was a ritual required to light three flames, those of sorrow, despair, and destruction. They summoned forth powerful minions, General Onox and Veran the sorceress, and tasked them with igniting the flames of destruction and sorrow respectively. This takes us to two lands separate from Hyrule, Holodrum and Labrynna. Holodrum is a rather wild land, with sparse settlements and a wide deviance in biospheres, though this is mostly due to the capture of Din, who is the oracle of seasons, and as such, General Onox is throwing the seasons out of whack, causing ice floes to melt and flood the land, forests to subject themselves to autumnal decay, and countless cabbage farms to go out of business. Also, underneath Holodrum is a subterranean region called Sub... Subrosia. Great. May as well call Canada Chillorton. Labrynna, not to be called Labrynnia like I have for years up until this point, is a more populated kingdom, in fact, it seems all the races absent from Hyrule around this time have shacked up here. The Gorons, who have also migrated to the mountains of Holodrum, the original Zora, they even have Jabu-Jabu with them. I kind of gloss over that thing, but I probably should have addressed his relation with the fish from the sky, like Levias, the gyorgs, and that other guy hanging out at sea. Another inhabitant of Labrynna are the Tokay, which I’ll assume are lizalfos relatives. They do seem rather simple-minded, so it could be a recently evolved strain, making their home on a stranded island where they are inclined to believe a rock is their god or something. No, we don't ever see these things again. Labrynna as a landscape changes fast, we see that 400 years earlier the oceans were much higher and the mountains and islands are shifted in different places. It may not be Hyrule, but it brings me comfort knowing that there's at least some confirmation that the continent is like a cracker drifting on a pond.

Something important to note however is that these two regions may in fact add an extra layer to our sense of progression. Labrynna contains locales like the Forest of Time and... is that it? Oh. Well, Holodrum has a very interesting design. Mountains north, desert east, a dense mysterious forest to the west, and a lake at the center, featuring an island with a dead tree. An island... with a DEAD TREE........ WITH A DUNGEON. This land looks exactly like the motherland of all nerdom guys, the map of the first game in the series. Now yes, I know at least one of you is a stick in the mud about to force me to rip out the immersion and wonderment, admit that, yeah, that was the intention, Oracle of Seasons was at some point a remake of the original game, then they decided there would be three games, then they realized that was ridiculous and they shafted Oracle of Secrets, but do you realize how much this could explain? I don’t even have to answer why every single biome from Link to the Past was thrown out the window if we assume that in the future Holodrum was incorporated into greater Hyrule and that was the territory of Hyrule in a few generations, it would mean that something I’ve been trying to justify for the past 25 paragraphs can ACTUALLY come to fruition! You don’t understand, I’ve had nightmares of all these theoretical physics coming up fruitless for WEEKS, and it hasn’t helped that I haven’t even bothered finishing this long monotonous part for all that time! Besides, as I occasionally do, I have a plot device that can justify this claim, and it comes from a source I wouldn’t have expected.

So yes, despite Lank’s best efforts, Onox and the body snatcher managed to invoke the flames of destruction and sorrow before being defeated. This left the flame of despair, which Twinrova intended to ignite through kidnapping the Oracle of Secrets and revealing everyone’s dark fetishes to the public.

Zelda has joined the server.

Zelda: OwO what’s all this then?

It was at that moment that Twinrova realized that kidnapping Zelda is about as easy as mowing the lawn, so they did that instead, the people of Hyrule got sad, and the end times began. All that needed to happen was for Zelda’s blood to be spilt in order to invoke Ganon’s return, but fortunately Lank was able to arrive just in time to end the ritual. The alternative for Ganon’s revival shapes the events of the rest of the timeline, Twinrova willingly sacrifice themselves to bring back Ganon, but the consequence is that he becomes a mindless beast of destruction. That and he dies anyways, and Hyrule, Holodrum, Labrynna, and everywhere in between is saved.

Fast forward a few centuries, and for the most part, the main region of Hyrule is unchanged from A Link to the Past. Everything was peaceful, as they tend to be until everything goes wrong again, and then some wizard known as Yuga begins capturing individuals descended from the sages, pushing them into paintings, likely reenacting the old procedures to open the way between worlds, and a young lad known as Lonk is dragged into the conflict to save his friends and Zelda. He doesn’t, he fails in numerous colorful ways, but thanks to Ravio he keeps getting back up, until the point where Yuga actually breaches the barrier between worlds with Zelda and the sage descendants, opening the way to the dark world.

Wait this isn’t the dark world?

Rather, Yuga opens the way to Lorule, a parallel world to Hyrule, sharing a very similar history and similar population, barring some notable differences. Also, in no measure is this the dark world, just because it has a swamp where a desert should be and a dark forest where... more desert should be does not make this the dark world, Lorule has snowy mountains. When Yuga arrives, he revives Ganon from... somewhere... and fuses with him and the triforce of power, creating *snicker* Yuganon. Yes, they actually went there the madmen. The alternate version of Zelda, or Hilda in this case, offers to hold back Yuganon to allow Lonk to rescue the seven sages. In the end, this turns out to be a ploy, as eventually Lonk awakens the triforce of courage from within him, and Hilda was convinced by Yuga to take the triforce from Hyrule in order to replace the Lorulian triforce, which was destroyed as an extreme solution to end the wars fought for its power and had the negative effects of allowing darkness to overtake the land. Again, this is not dark world brand darkness, this is Lorulean darkness, Lorule, which is not at all associated with the corrupted sacred realm that is the dark world due to QPU allignment. It’s also reasonable to assume Yuga is the Lorule version of Ganondorf, one who was able to manifest in the timeline since in Lorule’s history, no Yuga ever tried to take over the realm until now. Of course, since this is an iteration of Ganondorf we are now talking about, his follower, in this case Hilda, gets screwed over, and Ganon tries to take the triforce for himself, but thankfully Lonk and Zelda stop him, and after a discussion with the Lorule version of Lonk, Hilda comes to her senses, realizing that fighting over a triforce got the world into this mess to begin with, and if anything, the more responsible Hyruleans deserve theirs. However, this story ends in a very happy way, as Zelda and Lonk use the triforce to repair the broken triforce of Lorule, restoring the land to its previous splendor.

After this journey, Lonk decided he didn’t like being a protagonist, and traveled to a different land, Hytopia. I’m assuming Hytopia fractured itself from main Hyrule a long time ago, presumably when everyone wanted a piece of the triforce and they were too busy worrying about whether their stockings coordinated with their blouses. Separate from Hyrule, Hytopia is a kingdom whose culture, politics, religion even, revolves around one thing, fashion. The most fashionable of them all is princess Stylia, but this makes Lady Maud, from... oh god, the DRABlands, very upset, so she stuffs her in a brown bodysuit that can’t be removed, stripping her of elegance and sending the kingdom into chaos somehow. King Tuft asks for heroes with heroic sideburns to aid his cause, and this leads to Lonk accepting the call to adventure once more, joining forces with two other heroes who coincidentally look exactly like him. This coincides with the old Hytopian legend of the Tri Force heroes, who combined their powers to enter the forbidden drablands and bless Hytopia with everlasting fashion, explaining why they’re having issues now. Also, quick side note the Tri Force legend has nothing to do with the triforce, rather this is a designated description of the joint might of three... oh forget it, it can be the triforce for all you care. Lonk has courage, Lenk has power, and Lank the 14th has the fourth triforce piece of uptown funk. Lonk and the High Elves™ defeat Lady Maud, yadda yadda, everything is saved, but the interesting thing is that Hytopia agrees to incorporate itself with Hyrule, supporting my idea that Holodrum has been or later was added to the kingdom of Hyrule, covering my butt for the next game, the original Legend of Zelda.

For reasons I’ll get to later, after a long era of peace and prosperity, Hyrule began a great decline, dwindling heavily in size, losing much territory and power, until eventually some wisecracks managed to resurrect Ganon. He raised an army to ransack Hyrule, reobtaining the triforce of power, and as a last-ditch effort, princess Zelda took her triforce of wisdom and shattered it into 8 pieces. Her servant, Impa, fled to find a worthy hero to oppose Ganon, and on the brink of being taken by monsters, a young boy heroically saved her life, and this boy was Link, what did you expect? So, assuming this section of Hyrule was once Holodrum, let me bust out the forensics for old time sake and identify the differences since the Oracle games. Gorons are extinct, the zora are all feral, and there are no traces of civilization whatsoever except for wise hermits and travelling merchants taking cover from the free-roaming monsters. It’s an even bleaker outcome than Breath of the Wild. There’s not really much else to cover, sorry to say, this is the original title after all, things were a tad simpler back in the day. Now though, it’s time for that one part I’ve been dreading the whole time.

After Link defeated Ganon, recovering the triforce of power and courage, that still leaves the triforce of courage missing. After a few years, Link notices a conspicuous holy triangle appears on his hand, showing that he bears the missing triforce. Meanwhile, Ganon’s followers pursue him in an attempt to perform that bloodletting ritual that has brought him back in the past. Impa enlists Link’s help, because if he can awaken the latent triforce of courage, he can fulfill a prophecy.

A long while ago, before Hyrule fell, the king of Hyrule used the triforce’s power for the benefit of the land. The day was arriving soon that he would pass, and someone would inherit his throne, but the prince didn’t fulfill the merits of honor that would guarantee the triforce was put in able hands, so the king looked for someone else to take it. When he was old and sick, and no one else seemed worthy of the triforce, he decided to remove the triforce of courage, giving the remaining pieces to his son. This prince was desperate to locate the final third of the triforce, and an evil wizard, who I’ll call Agahnim 2, convinced the prince to interrogate princess Zelda for the location of the last piece. She refused to give up the information, and in rage, the wizard sacrificed his own life just to place a curse on Zelda, placing her into an eternal sleep. Without any way to reawaken her, the prince sealed her away, and... here’s the kicker, he declared that, in her honor, every princess of the royal bloodline, henceforth, shall be named Zelda.

… that’s why every princess is Zelda. Newsflash m’lord, EVERY PRINCESS SO FAR HAD ALREADY BEEN NAMED ZELDA!!!

You know, it’s ALMOST as if this was some kind of cop out back in 1987 to explain how every character will be named Zelda in the future titles, but despite this, when they decided to make a timeline, they placed their first games dead last in the course of events. Of course, this would mean that they actually, in fact, pulled the timeline theory out of their aft ends, negating any sense of continuity the series might have due to it just being an excuse. I tried to find a way to salvage this, maybe this story about the prince sealing Zelda away actually took place much, much earlier in the timeline than we are led to believe. Maybe this Zelda was junior to the Zelda from Skyloft and, you know, that shrine remained intact for millennia on a landmass as stable as Los Angeles’ infrastructure, but there’s an immediate problem with that. The triforce is split into three segments that manifest within select people, but the triforce was only split apart like this after Ganondorf invaded the sacred realm, which, of course, happens around the halfway point, and we know that the triforce was sealed along with him in the events immediately after that, so that points to this actually being the cause of Hyrule’s collapse after Tri Force Heroes, blowing apart EVERYTHING.

My disappointment is immeasurable, and my day is ruined.

So, Link gets the courage doodad, saves Zelda... Zelda the FIRST apparently, who cares. All the work I put into making this crap work in the end, it was pointless.

Of course, you already knew that Legion, next time WAIT until I get to the point of my multi-part series before saying what I already know? :3

So at this point it’s clear that the timeline is full of it, and you probably shouldn’t hold it to heart and take each individual title for what it is, but lets keep going and see what happens. I already made 7000 words of this, you think I’m going to give up now? Besides, this isn’t even the good part, the entirety of the NEXT part encompasses that category. Dark tribes, more parallel realities, goblin taxonomy, and stuff to focus on other than Ganon. It’s gonna be a blast.
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What does it mean to lose all meaning? That's not a goth thing, it just sounds like something that would make a robot explode.


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