You may know this as "that one game where you pull on giant boobs" or "that game that doesn't explain anything" and I just need to say, look up the controls and just throw yourself into this game, because you need to give this game a serious chance. You may recognize the creators of this game, Treasure, who are responsible for such classics as Gunstar Heroes, Bangai-O, Mischief Makers, Ikaruga, and Sin & Punishment (both the N64 title and the sequel for the wii)

What you should expect to get is more of what treasure is good at, which is pushing the gameplay side of the system's capabilities and unique encounters. This comes in the form of a series of bosses you need to defeat one after another, using a scarf that resembles a long stretching arm with a creepy eye on it. Your scarf can pinch and pull any object or surface as if it was made of rubber, regardless of its actual material, which allows for a number of unique attack and movement options. The most obvious and basic function is attacking by pulling on an enemy and letting go, making the stretched surface snap painfully back into place. Past that, you can also rotate the right stick rapidly while attached to an enemy to pull yourself towards them and tackle them. Third, a movement option, if you do the same movement mentioned before while attached to an environmental surface (or press R3) you'll pull yourself past the point you're holding on to, allowing you to jump.

With this basic set of attacks, you'll face off against bosses who play less like reaction-based fights, and more like skill-based puzzles. Each boss has a unique gimmick that requires you to pay attention to their anatomy, their general shape, their colors, and their movements, and piece together how to hit them where it hurts. This comes in the form of the unique health bar each boss has. This health bar is a star, and it starts off empty, but as you damage them, it fills up in a circle, and there are 4 possible colors to fill the star up with. Blue damage is the most common, gained by using the basic stretch attack. Yellow is for the tackle attack. Red is for the boss's unique weakness. Each boss has an entirely unique method of dealing red damage, and that's where the real meat of the game comes in. For example, one boss sings to lure little angels in towards it, and after a moment a giant mouth will rise and devour them all, turning the woman and the angels into devilish forms. However, if you pull the angels away before the mouth appears, the mouth will only eat the woman, dealing red damage and skipping the devil forms. Green damage uses the last part of the game's moveset. The Scarf Bomb. The scarf bomb requires the use of points, and is activated by pressing L3 and R3. Once used, you will grow 2 additional scarves which are controlled by both the left and right sticks, and each do the basic stretch attack, but deal green damage instead of blue. This is a good way to deal damage, but also is a necessary attack if you want to reach the end credits.

So, here's the basic gameplay loop. There are normal levels, where there are bikini enemies with giant boobs. Defeating them or attacking their weak point (any place other than their boobs) will get you points. Points are not only used for the scarf bomb attack, but are also required for entering boss doors. Each boss door requires a specific amount of points. The reason you need the scarf bomb, and as a result, the reason you need to grind up points, if because the scarf bomb is necessary for defeating bosses for good. If you use the scarf bomb attack then keep the attack going on for long enough, a spirit will pop out of the boss, and defeating it this time will release a captive girl who was possessed. That's the basic gameplay loop, and it's probably the most opaque part of the entire game.

The story is kinda inconsequential. The basic premise is that your character Linda's 12 sisters have demanded that you bring them cosmetics from a fancy new store, but the people who run that cosmetic store end up getting to the house before she does and kidnapping your sisters, turning them into monsters by feeding off their vanity and possessing them. This possession also affects Linda's scarf, allowing it to use the previously mentioned powers. You go to "the museum of agony" in order to rescue your sisters and reverse their possession.

More of a set up for the game than a deep story, since it never comes up again, but it gets the job done. The main things I wanna talk about, however, are the designs of the game, from an aesthetic and gameplay perspective. Every boss in the game has a unique and fun style about them, they all fit well into the game's unhinged cartoony aesthetic. On a first time playthrough, it's exciting to open up another new door and see just what colorful creature is waiting for you behind it, and even more exciting is discovering what new mechanics that boss will bring to the table. Because of your scarf acting as an extra limb, it gives a tactile sense to your movements and attacks, making it feel like you're playing with a puzzle box or a pile of toys as you stretch, pull, and throw things. One boss I fought involved knocking its face off, then putting pieces of its face back onto its head, and it was so much fun to maneuver the scarf around during this fight, that I'd throw the face pieces, despite only needing to attach them. It's not just fun to play the game, it's fun to play WITH the game.

On top of all that, the soundtrack and sound design fit everything perfectly. There's a number of songs in the game that I cannot possibly forget. Some specific highlights are Spinner, EX-Factory, and even the hub theme, Museum of Agony. Even if a song doesn't stick in your memory incredibly well, each song fulfills its purpose really well. The sound design in general is also a treat. The sound the game makes when you stretch things, moving the pitch of the rubbery sound up or down depending on the strength of the stretching, really enhances the feeling of building up that potential energy. The snap whenever you let go really sells the stinging quality of your attacks, and the loud crash that plays whenever you hit a weak point gives a really gratifying feeling, especially when paired with the sparks and stars flying from your enemy.

The game's graphics, while not revolutionary, are backed up by a really fun and vibrant art style, that gives the sensation that you're in another world entirely where monsters exist and it makes perfect sense that you'd be able to just stretch things like a cartoon. I'm have to suspect this art style was chosen in order to allow the stretching gameplay to function with relatively few glitches, so they chose simple geometry and chose striking clashing colors in order to keep the visuals interesting. It worked wonders because I can't think of many games that have this level of charm and fun from even just an aesthetic standpoint.

All of this is to say that if you've bounced off of Stretch Panic in the past, maybe take another chance on it, look up the control scheme, and just throw yourself into a cartoon world where pulling on stuff is a solution to every problem.