So, I don't usually post much about my personal life or my family but right now I feel like I don't have too many places to turn about all of this. I'll just run through each of my siblings and what is going on with them to give an idea of what is going on.

Sister - she is currently getting divorced from her husband. He is an alcoholic and cheated on her several years ago. She finally said enough and moved out and took the kids.

Brother (oldest) - he has generally been disrespectful towards the rest of the family to the point where my parents told them they were no longer welcome in their home or at any family get-togethers. I'm okay with this since he and I haven't gotten along for 15 years or more. I won't go into detail too much about the stuff he has said/done but we put with a LOT from him before cutting him out.

Brother (next oldest) - I just found out last night that he has been cheating on his wife for the last few months. Apparently he no longer wants to be married. My Mom told me that his wife found out and went into labour the same day with their 3rd child which he says he doesn't want anymore. He has moved out and is no longer living with them so she is now taking care of 3 kids on her own after having given birth only a few weeks ago.

I realize that none of these problems are "mine" exactly but the entire situation has been really stressful for the whole family. I can't imagine how my parents feel about it all since the family is falling apart all around them. This all happened in the last 6 months or so.

That's all really. Just wanted to vent.

Well, me and you have always been pretty cool and straight with each other, geeo. If you ever need any help, or somebody to talk to, just give me a holler man. And sorry about your predicament.

thing1 : that's the thing though.... none of this is actually my problem. It's stuff that is happening around me and I have no idea how to deal with it all or what I can do (if anything). I mostly feel helpless to do anything productive. I'm mostly just trying to ride out the wave of drama going on.

My family is a bit like this too.

My sister acts like a s***, my mom has been with 3 guys the past few months, and my aunt is just the same.

The only sane one is my brother.

I'm doing nothing because I can do nothing. I tell them what I think and let them decide for themselves. In the end, its up to them to be happy on their own.

geeogree : First please know that what you’re going through is completely understandable. Even if a situation doesn’t directly involve you it can be extremely stressful on you and very difficult to deal with. Unfortunately I have been there plenty of times. In recent years my family has been hit with several blows that seem to have come all at once.

What has made it difficult to deal with is I frankly feel like I’m powerless and at my wits end. You’re not alone believe me.

One thing that has gotten me through things even though it’s been hard is I pray often. It may seem like something simple and modest that doesn’t really accomplish much on the surface but it has helped me get through things.

It’s perfectly understandable wanting to vent. I’ve learned keeping things bottled up only will make things worse in the long run. I hope things get better for you.

Best of luck to you and your family.

Small update....

turns out my brothers marriage is over and he's refusing to talk to anyone now.

I am no longer speaking to either of my brothers.

My wife and I are starting to talk about moving somewhere so we aren't directly affected by all this drama anymore. Stupid selfish family drama.

I know this shouldn't have bothered me so much but I checked out the facebook profile of the mistress and she has pictures up of her and my brother together. HE IS STILL MARRIED!!!!! Stupid dirty whore. I haven't hated anyone this much in a long time but I think I hate this girl a lot.

Part of me wants to do things to really make her life miserable but I know my SIL is still working on getting a divorce finalized and until then I'm not going to do or say anything myself that will make things worse. Once the divorce is final I think all hell will break loose though.

I'm sorry to hear that. It can be tough to face these situations, for sure. As for the facebook photo, I totally understand why you feel that way. Without going into detail, I'll say, I have been through a somewhat simillar situation. It really does upset you to see that. I'd react the same way.

Eirinn : I have seen this particular brother once since we found out everything that was going on and he could barely look me in the eye. I know he's not proud of what is going on but at the same time he doesn't have the respect to his marriage to at the very least get divoriced first.

Have you seen her? I'm not even sure which of the two should be more ashamed. It takes really low moral standards or really low IQ for her to go flaunting what she's done. At least (and I realize it does nothing towards righting it) he's showing some shame about it. How are his wife and kids handling it?

Eirinn : do you mean my SIL or the mistress?

I've seen my SIL a few times since then and pretty much every time she looks at me she cries and I give her a hug I don't look a lot like my brother but I guess it's enough of a resemblance for her.

As for the mistress, I have not seen her since this all happened. I do know her though. She's younger than me (so 5 years younger than my brother, give or take) and I've known her since I was about 12 or 13 I think.

Argh. For a lot of people, family is not what it should be.

I know you must feel helpless, but remember Geeo, you make your own family. People who have been born by the same woman as you and act like complete loosers, are just that. If they want to be part of family, they need to act like it, and it's completely up to them, not you or any other family member.

As for the rest of family, those who are still acting one, you'll make it through. That's what families do.

Hang in there.

I'm sorry the activities going on around you are so bad, and sadly I can really relate to all of them But I hope you and your wife do find a way to get out of the... well not really middle of things but... I'm sure you get it, and go somewhere where there is a load less drama to deal/cope with. Sometimes it is indeed really needed in situations like these ones- even though it is family.

So things just devolved even more. The truth about how things were going started coming out from my brother. I'm starting to not blame him so much for what he did. It turns out he was getting treated quite poorly. I haven't heard too many details yet but from what I knew about my sister-in-law I'm not surprised to start hearing these details coming out.

I can only imagine what I'll hear when I talk to him next.

[edit]

Light Knight: yeah, my wife and I have learned that the hard way with her family. Her parents are divorced and there are half and step siblings and things are pretty complicated with a lot of them. We've started spending more time away from most of our blood family and focused just on our own little family. That is our main focus. We can't worry about offending them or meeting their standards.

Ugh, the respective families (hers and mine.... extended families really) are now bickering with each other over facebook. Snide comments and a lot of assuming the other people mean the worst possible thing by what they say and so on.

I'm getting really tired of this. I posted something at the end of a 20+ comment post with: "Let's all keep supporting "SIL's Name here" by attacking each other! YAY!"

No one commented on that since I posted that. It's strange being the youngest between the 2 families (of the adults at least) and also be the most mature.

geeogree :  Relative issues were just one of the reasons me and my husband left facebook. Our extended was actually in a very similar situation as yours (but involving one of my husband's uncle, that uncle's wife..... and that uncle's brother......), and the drama was all over facebook.  The wife especially, was very awful, posting all over everyone's walls, trying to involve us through insulting us (when we wanted nothing to do with it and had nothing to do with it), and even randomly pm'ing my husband.  We got tired of the insults, and it was definitely one of the things that pushed us away from social media.

I'm sorry your family is going through this.  It's burdensome to be the one with the most sense, sometimes.  I hope things can calm down for all of you soon.

I'm going to agree with L K, you choose who you want to be part of the family.

For example, basically my mother didn't have a mother, my fallen(?) aunt took care of my mother, my grandmother didn't support my mother like she should, to be considered a mother, too bad I never met her before she died.

But man, keep strong, if you ever need someone to talk to, you can always post a thread and summon me or drop me a PM.

We're with you all the way.

Seishiro Leonhart :

Yeah, I'm really starting to agree with you guys. As much as I want to try and keep my family "the way it was" it will never be that way. I hate my oldest brother (I have for 20 years) and my 2 other siblings are losing their spouses. I can't see any way that my family will be normal again.

Thankfully I am having my own kids that won't hate me for at least another 8-10 years. And if I'm lucky they won't hate me at all but I'll have to wait to find out.

Sorry to hear the situation has deteriorated. And, yeah, you still have your girls. I guess in the end, that's a pretty precious treasure. Hang in there.