I had just made this update on dA, and I had thought it might be a good idea to come back here and update too, but this update on this site will get more info (because I love you guys too much and I really missed you guys)

I was gone since spring, and... yeah, nothing at home has changed.

My relationship with my family (or just mom in general) has not improved. If anything, it's worse now. My pc was taken in response to one night where I ended up scratching my mother in response to her ****** attitude, and that was way back in May. Before that, I got my cell taken too just because of a small disagreement with her. And she tells me I can have them back if I behave for her.

Except how the hell am I supposed to do that if, every single time I try to talk to her, it always leads to her accusing me of hating her, attacking her, trying to ruin her life, and I'm not even suggesting any of that stuff. Furthermore, I can't even bring myself to do anything for her when she's spreading bulls*** about me and making others believe that I have always abused her and made her life miserable.

Back in the summer, I was at my dad's home, and when he was taking me back to my mother, he told me that I can live with him if I wanted to, and I could have the entire time. Obviously, I do want to live with him (or right now, just want to get the hell away from my maternal family), but nope. My grandma is against me living with him and will do what she can to make sure I don't leave

Also, because I don't have any way of contacting people, I can't even spend time with my friends. My mother knows that, and yet, she b****es at me for being a hermit. Well, is it my fault that I can't even contact anyone. Also, I could use the house phone to talk to them, but with the way my mother is, I'm so paranoid and can't help but feel that she will listen in on my conversation. In addition, after she snuck into my Vizzed account and found out I practically complained about her, she now believes that I shouldn't even be online anymore. She's telling people that I am "unaware of the dangers of the internet," even though she has always been okay with me going on that site til last year and tbh, people in real life can be dangerous too. You don't know if your neighbor is a killer or a child molester. So there's no reason to constantly say "There are predators on the internet" when you could be surrounded by them in real life. :/

In the past month, apparently, according to my mother, my behavior has worsen, and this mental disease I didn't even know I have (schizophrenia) has progressively gotten worse in the past few months. Honestly, I'm not going to say anything about that, only because someone at school told me she saw me talking to myself, and I told her I wasn't even aware that I was doing that. With that concern, in addition to the rest of the bulls*** she spread about me, I have to go to a school in a hospital for the next few weeks.

I am not thrilled. Now, out of the 20 friends I have at school (and my mom told the people there I have no friends at school, goes to show exactly how well she knows me ), I can only see 2 of them on a daily basis (and I can see a few others on certain occasions), and it's only those 2 who know about my school situation (the rest will find out eventually). Sadly, there's nothing I can do about that except do well at this school, well enough that I can graduate and go back to my main school. On the plus side, this new school is filled with students with similar life problems, so I may actually be able to connect with them a bit (maybe even make new friends. I didn't make any today.)

Besides my home situation, my school life had also sucked as bad as the home life. I really wish I was joking, but nope, I went through hell at school too. 

It goes back in October, when I first noticed my friendship with this guy (who I also have a crush on) was not going to well. First, he acted like a complete hypocrite. If I did anything to him by accident and it annoyed him, he would b**** at me and make me feel bad. If someone else did the exact same thing and was intentional, he just laughed and acted like it was completely okay. In addition, he always told me that if I had a problem, I can go talk to him about it. Usually, I don't talk to him about small issues. When there was something I did wanted to talk about? He would push me aside and tell me he wants to talk to his friend about some card game or something ridiculous.

Later, some of our classmates in Chinese noticed my crush on him and started teasing us. When it comes to stuff like this, I never care. I just ignore it. Him? He acts all okay about it, but once class ends and it's just me and him, he starts b****ing about how he's tired of it to me. No matter how many times I told him to tell them to stop if it bothers him so much, he does not listen to me. Then, later in October, they teased him about something ridiculous, and when class ended, he just goes up to me and tells me,
"Delete your Tomodachi Life game."

One month before this, he had told me to not speak of what his mii is doing in my game, and I have done that. Obviously, I was surprised when he told me this. I had also realized that he came up with this ridiculous logic that, if my game is deleted then they will stop picking on him. I tried to tell him that it was my game and I can do what I want with it. His response?

"If you respect me as a friend, then delete your game."

Welp.... the next day, he took the game and deleted it, even when he knew I was not okay with it. With everything that happened, that just created an even bigger rift between us.

Then it got worse in November. I had a simple conversation with my friends and I told them who I previously liked in the past. Turns out the friend hated the guy, and unexpectedly, he tells me to stop liking him. He wouldn't even listen to me when I try to tell him that some crushes could last for a moment and others last a long while. (Not to mention I was half getting over him and half liking another guy, but clearly he wouldn't listen to me ). After that, I didn't talk to him for days, and when I did finally talk to him just to get help for a class, he starts ***** at me for taking a class I will not understand and should have taken an easier science class. Well, excuse me for wanting to take a challenging class. I know I was going to have trouble with physics, but was his ********* really necessary? :/ I chose not to talk to him for another few days and when I do come up to him, guess what?

Because I had refused to talk to him about anything, the friendship is over.

Wow... like wow....

Of course, the next day, he told me he didn't want to hurt me anymore than he already did (he found a note I had written, explaining some stuff he did really bummed me out), so he won't be my friend for the time being. When I was told that, I was thinking "things will be fine then." Then I found out a month later, by another friend, that he lied to me, and that, in his words, he got tired of me having a crush on him and I was too creepy to him. Then, early January, I was absent for a few days and needed to catch up on work, and when I tried to talk to him, he answered back in a nasty way. I didn't talk to him throughout December, and even that didn't change anything. I asked what the hell his problem was, and he told me that because we're not friends anymore, and because everything that went wrong in our friendship is entirely my fault, I don't deserve any kindness or respect from him.

I was done. I'm not dealing with him anymore. And thankfully, just by officially cutting him off from my life, school has gotten better for me (until this week, since I'm going to another school now).

I'm not back officially, but I figured that, while I'm here at my friends' home, I could do you guys a favor and update on you guys.

*hugs*

OMG. HAI! Everyone misses you. It's a shame that you have all that stuff going on with you, but eventually things will get better, I'm sure of it. Just think about what's going to happen once you get old enough to move out and you don't have to deal with most of this anymore? You have a lot of stuff to look forward to with time.

Plz come bai often.

There's a lot going on there.  I feel for you.

That stuff is...awfulness. I'm sorry you've been going through that, Aria. But it is nice to see you again, at least for a little bit. I hope one day this will all get better for you Aria.

Parents unfortunately assume their insight is correct, just because they're the parents. It's stupid.
From my studies on how schizophrenia effects a person, I can't say you seem like the type. Probably just parents being stupid again.. always assuming. They're really annoying, and if it weren't for the fact that we have to live off of them until we get jobs and stuff, I could do without them. Hell, even I talk to myself. I talk to everything, and there's nothing wrong with me.

The sad fact of life is that you're always going to be oppressed by someone or something. The big picture isn't pretty, so it's better to enjoy the small things. Like this visit.

As for having to do school inside a hospital, I hope it's not one of those creepy ones for crazy people. They'd probably drive you insane even if you weren't insane before.

It's good that you've gotten rid of the toxic people in your life, and that means you're one more step closer to finally getting a vacation from hell.

Life is hard, but if you can make it through all of this terrible stuff, things are nice. Considering your friends will be here, and friends are great. We've missed you, so it's good to hear that you're still a thing.

At least here you won't be betrayed by your friends. And hopefully, you'll be able to return here fully very soon.

Try to make the most of it. And no matter what, don't forget that your friends believe in you. We're here, we'll always be here. You aren't alone.

Also I'd just like to say that since parents never f***ing listen they should really just cut their damn ears off, it's not doing THEM any good.

Oh wow... I can't believe that you have to deal with all of that. I hope everything will be better ASAP.

But yeah, I missed you so much, I hope to hear some more from you soon if it's possible. I would like to sit down and have a conversation with you like in an ol' days, you know?

Take care, and know that we're here for you as well

First things first, I'm really glad you gave us an update on what's going on. I know a lot of people -myself included- have wondered and have been worried on how you've been doing.

While my situation differs a lot from yours, our family has been quite the mess for the last couple of years so I know how hard of an impact that can give. I've noticed that in my dad, my cousins and even in myself. I get the anger / frustration that you're feeling with this whole ordeal.
It's especially important now not to lose your focus and not to dwell on to these negative thoughts too much. 

I think talking to the other students in this new school is a great idea for now. Releasing all that weight off your shoulders to someone who has went through / is going through something similar should feel really relieving. You might get some great advice and/or support from them as well.

Hopefully you'll get a chance to hop on every now and then like this. 

Stay strong <3

AriaAngelDream : Hi Aria-chan I've really missed you, when I saw you're have been active I thought things have change for the better, but sadly it hasn't for you :/
We really miss you and worry about you, I'm happy that you were able to update us.
I'm here and everyone else is here to support you. I really hope that things will turn better for you soon.

Don't give up Aria-chan *hugs* love you!

AriaAngelDream : WANOIFHIUEBFUIIUEBD.... 

ARIIIII! I be crying right now, I'm am so happy you could just give us this update even if it is this one visit for a while. I'm sorry life has been a total b**** they do tell us it's not supposed to be easy there will always be bad times but those bad times usually do lead up to great and happy core parts of life. But I'm so sorry to hear that there are still some bad things going around you and I really do hope they can change for the better soon. Don't forget we'll always be here for you okay? I am here to support you and I know everyone else is as well. I hope your luck changes for the better once again and don't ever give up. *glomps* Love you my great friend~

Its nice to get an update from you... but really, I am rather sad to hear about your current situation.

I don't want to just spout some inspirational non-sense at you... however, I do wish you well and hope for the best for you.

I also hope at some point you can "fully return," because I have a lot of questions for you and really do miss our conversations.

*hugs*
Hang in there... we all do care about you.

AriaAngelDream : I'm really glad to see you come online and update us on what's going on in your life, although I'm saddened to hear that things haven't gotten any better for you, but rather seems to have gotten worse.

It seems like you are in a bad cycle of your mom trying to keep you locked up in your house and not being able to get away from that, and that upsetting you and thus keeping a vicious cycle going that bleeds into other aspects of your life, which would happen to anyone facing the same situation.

Having grown up in a bad family situation myself, I completely understand how bad that can be. I never wanted to be home. Thankfully despite all the craziness in my situation I was thankful to not have a mom that tried to lock me in the house. Even though my dad had a lot of issues. That and good friends helped me through the situation.

I hope that things get better for you soon. Stay strong. It won't be like this forever. Hugs!

AriaAngelDream : It's good to see an update from you, though I'm sorry to hear that things have been going so badly. Stay strong Aria, things will get better, hopefully sooner rather than later. Don't forget that you have all of your Vizzed friends here for you.

Hopefully things get better for you. Having not being in a relationship with a mum like that I wouldn't have a clue what that is like but I did have people at school who would annoy me (I settled those problems a completely different way that I don't advise others to do) and I am glad you managed to kick them out of your life. Lang may yer lum reek.(means good luck in scots).

AriaAngelDream : Wow... well we all here are certainly sorry that you've had to deal with all of this and that things haven't just been going deeper and deeper into insanity for you. But know whenever you can come on vizzed (know you said it won't be likely to happen mostly) we're always here for you and will listen to you if you need it. Most of us here on Vizzed will always be here for you as friends/family when times are hard upon you. You definitely don't deserve any of the crud you've had to be put through...parents wise..or relationship wise. That guy or any other friends/associates need to just take a look in a mirror and realize how much they're so off-base and improper with how they treated you, since you're a lovely girl, Aria! We won't turn you away like that at all, or at least I know for sure that I won't! :o

Glad to see an update from you though, have missed you very much since has been such a long time since have chatted. Even if it's only an update every few months or so <3 is alright with me . We all love and care for you lots down here! Wishing the best that things may possibly brighten up for you in the near future. Just keep your head up and don't let anyone push you down sis. No matter what names you're called or how you're made out to be in others eyes, always know in your heart and mind that you're a great girl to know and be friends with! NO one and I mean NO ONE should ever let you take that sight away from yourself. *hugs* See you sometime again and can always shoot an e-mail or pm on here to me or others if ever need the comfort! <3

I never got to know you half as well as most people posting here but we were friends and I always enjoyed our random conversations, and I do miss those. I never had any clue why you had to go, but I'm really sorry to hear it's this bad.

As for your ex-friend, you deserve better friends than that anyway, you're an awesome girl. I'm glad that much is over for you, even if it was hard for you. In the end your life is better now, as you said (school was easier afterward).

And now this happens. Wow. That's really heavy stuff, Aria. I'll be praying for you, hard and often. Take care, and thanks so much for dropping by and letting us know. I hope you can manage to return soon, though I can see that isn't something that's too feasible in the near future. Just know your friends here love, miss, and appreciate you for the wonderful person and friend you always were to us.

Welcome back, even if you aren't officially returning yet.

I'm really sorry that things are only getting worse. But problems are always temporary, give them time and handle them well, and eventually you won't have issues like this anymore. I'm hoping your grandma will have a change of heart and that you can find a way to live with your dad. Have a nice time at your friend's house!

The most important way to get through this is to not give up. Having hope makes it much easier to get through any problem. During part of your absence of vizzed I posted about a huge falling out I had with someone in a class and at first I didn't know what to do. But then I just kept going with the class and when things got really bad in that class again, I signed up not to have the class again next year and now I'm much happier. (It's a class you can take for 4 years)

AriaAngelDream : Aria I don't have much to say as we have already talked offsite about this. Remember to always think positive the negative will try to override your mind. But there is nothing you can do, that you can try to accomplish by beating it down. We will await your return don't rush it. I will still be able to talk you know where. So just talk to me when you can for anything else that you need. I'm always here for you. ^^

I understand what you are going through with your mom. It is very similar to how my relationship with my mom used to be. She would take all of my stuff away so often and for such long periods of time that it was more of a privilege to use them than a punishment to have them taken. We got into physical altercations. She even called the cops on me once. Things have gotten better though. I don't know why. I haven't done anything different, at least I don't think I have. I really hope your situation fixes itself like mine did.

As for your friend, I would just cut him out of your life. He seems to be a lot more trouble than he is worth.

Good luck with everything. Nice to hear from you again, hope to hear from you more in the future.