Yes, I a male of 24 years old am actively asking this question.... simply because i don't think i've been happy in about a decade..

It's very hard for me to describe.. but as someone thats been burdened with personality and emotional issues from a young age.. I've never really experienced what other people do... It's often why i come across as cold, sarcastic, and sometimes unpleasant... Not because i'm feeling angry, Spiteful, lonely or some other negative emotion.. I'm just being me. 

Like.. it's almost euphoric.. when i have energy to do something.. not that i'll actually ever do anything though... because there's no point to it... 

Gee this thread/post is just a scrambled nonsense of words... and stuff... I guess to keep it super short and not any longer ill just make bullet points

I've resigned to my fate of never enjoying my own life
I only live to try and help others these days... making others feel good makes me forget about myself.
I am literally doing things not because i enjoy them.. simply because it stops me from thinking about myself.
The only way i seem to express myself in conversations is mimicking the other person... something i've sadly got down to a tee...
 

I know i've written a couple of things similar to this and such... but y'know i can't wait to read the generic answers i get back in response or something else.. i dont even know

As someone who has a tremendous amount of trouble being happy with himself as well, despite the fact that I'm otherwise healthy mentally (see: https://www.vizzed.com/boards/thread.php?id=92082 ), I know and understand plenty more than I let on about feeling like you can't love anything you really end up doing or can even maintain a slight amount of confidence or faith in yourself to be happy with yourself. That is, if I'm not misunderstanding the point you're trying to make.

And I'm sorry if I mess up a bit myself in this post. As it is, I'm forcing myself to stay awake for just a while longer to try and get this in.

I've always tried to do things with others to forget about myself, and it really didn't work, and now I'm struck with a heavy escapist/isolationist indulgement that I'm trying to break.

So, the best way I can say that works most of the time is to not forget about yourself through the band of people around you, but to realize that you have to accept yourself. Mimicking is possibly one of the worst things you can do to help you accept yourself.

Have I accepted my own self yet? Ew, no. I still hate me a ton, for many, many reasons (again, see the thread I linked above). However, I am slowly learning to take pride in what I can do and to realize that I need to feel as good about my shortcomings as I do about what I know is a positive. Does that mean I don't want to change my problems? No, but it does mean that even if I can't do so, I can live with it feeling good about myself still.

Perhaps none of my remarks will really get you anywhere, and I almost feel like a hypocrite since I'm so often upset by my own mistakes and accidents, but I wanted to say what I felt I had to say about what I'm understanding this thread to be about.

Honestly, don't give up and resign to your "fate." Please.

I have similar problems. I can't talk about a few things here publicly, but something changed in my life about 5 months ago that flipped everything about me upside down emotionally, and it's still not over.

But I'll be approaching the end soon, and all will be well again. . . or I'll just have to move on cause things weren't as I planned they should be.

When it comes to mimicking other people in conversations. Yeah, I do that, it's how I relate to them. I've also gotten good at it, but I still maintain myself to a good degree. I just wish at times I knew whether people like the real me, or just find the real me naive and annoying. I mean, I try to be knowledgeable. But I'm just as eager to learn, and it's odd balancing both a public image, and being who you are really underneath. But it's doable.

When it comes to being happy, I don't think that reaching out to help others is that unnatural a thing to do and try to fulfill it. Humans are naturally social creatures, and we often share joy with each other.

A few things I need to be happy I've found are:

1. A good sense of love from my friends and family.
2. Time to speak with them about what's really important in life. And about what's fun.
3. A clean and organized environment. (I go without this a lot.)
4. Exercise to run off all that energy a computer nerd has stored up. (I need my walks. Daily. About three a day is good.)

5. Half decent food. Life just isn't as great without it. XP I can make myself some decent meals though when mom doesn't.

So, you see, my happiness is both dependent on social and material things, but it goes on as those basics are covered. I find happiness in things like:

1. Completing a really long project. (Writing my book is great.)
2. Making music or pixel art. (Can't wait to try out that music maker my bro got.)

I mean, once my needs are satisfied, I find joy in creating art.

When it comes to being happy. I guess you're not going to like it, but I would suggest spiritual things. As harmony with the creator does give me a great deal of peace in life's hardships. I don't mean to upset you, but I don't wish to hide honest options and possibilities I feel you should be aware of.

Sometimes loneliness can be an issue. I mean, if you have a girlfriend/wife. Life can take on a whole new meaning. Real love does amazing things in a person and can completely change their perspective. It's one of the few things that can make humans think of other people than themselves. Not saying that you are, I'm just commenting on the specialness of it and remarking on it's ability to change things.

I'll answer your original question.  Other than that, I can't help you.  No one can tell you what to do and we can only be so descriptive about what our experiences are like.  It's like explaining s*x to someone who's never had it.  One can only do so much.

I also think the forum is a bad place.  I've read enough posts and watch the interactions enough to understand most people are coming from somewhere similar to you.  I'm going to say a massive minority here are well-adjusted adults who are socially and emotionally stable.  There are nice facts and mean facts and the mean fact is: Most people here have all sorts of unhappiness with their lives.  Why turn to video games?  Because you can control a fake character that is successful and it's less scary than the real world.

Saying that...

I'm a happy person.  I have a great social life and a small circle of good friends whom I regularly drink beer with, watch sports, see, do outside things, and so on.  I enjoy my work and I have purpose and drive in my career.  I have a really attractive wife who loves me and two kids that are as much as anyone could ask for.  I own a house, my dog and I are buddies, and I'm in the top 1% of people who are flat out happy.  I love my life, I'm excited when I wake up, I go and make friends easily, and I imagine myself the person in charge of what happens around me.

It's awesome.  I know I'm positively impacting other people and they appreciate it.  I get excited about creation, whether it's stories, rap battles, my career trajectory, and I don't stop to answer the question "What's the point?" 

Yeah, we're worm-food in about 100 years from now.  We're all going to die.  That's a fact of life.  I don't ask myself "What's the point" but I do ask myself, "How many enjoyable experiences can I wedge into this very short amount of time?"

Call me a hedonist.  I think life is meant to go run amok, have fun, and cause as little pain to others as possible.  But ultimately it's about me being happy.  I'm like you in that I enjoy seeing other people succeed.  Helping them brings me happiness.  But so does my own success.  And I couldn't be having as big an impact now if I didn't develop myself professionally.

So, what's it like?  It's awesome.  It's exciting.  I try to figure out what I can do next.  I just add up all the fleeting moments of happiness and call them a life.  I'm lucky in that I have a non-stop positive mental attitude.  It's my strongest asset.

Maybe all your scrambled words and nonsense are what's holding you back?  If I were in your shoes, I'd take a step back, figure out some kind of mission statement or creedo, as cheesy as it sounds, develop it so it fits what I want, and go from there.  I don't know if you're trying to make changes or if you're just b*tching but if you want to make a change, you should examine what it is you're aiming at doing.  That may be a first step.

Or not.

Happiness is about having a special someone you live with. Despite all our disagreements (and there are still many), I have been living the happiest days of my life with Honey. I've travelled to places I never thought I would go (at least, not so early), I have come into contact with other cultures I love and I have completely change my views on race... for the better.

It also means doing a job where you feel that your talent is put to work. Ever since I took that internship 2 years ago I have been able to use my writing talents and I now get paid for it! It's not much at the moment but my name is getting out there. When I can actually earn a living from it, I can say that my happiness is complete.

janus :
Ghostbear111:
Sword legion :
SWTerra : Firstly thanks for the replies... this is probably the most simple thing i can type that makes sense. 

Firstly, let me state that this wasn't a scream for attention or anything like that... i put it in my own forum to kinda prevent the spam.... (You'd be surprised how much scrolling down a page to get to the forum can decrease activity from spammers)

Also whilst the physical part of my body is pretty much going from bad to worse... (I'm on about actual physical medical problems here, like being medically diagnosed by a doctor that i'm not fit for work kinda levels) The mental part of it isn't as broken... I could list tons of reasons why and why not.. but that'd be a waste of time etc.... 

Also just a few stupid things i want to say... 
Whilst this thread is literally me asking what happiness is, It does not mean that I'm suicidal or anything like that. Yes i have slashed open my arms on about 3-4 occassions... but it wasn't a pathetic attempt to "kill" myself.. Honestly.. it was almost therapeutic.. it sounds bizarre to say.. but yeah... . 

Like to be blunt it's insane i even imagined that i could explain my "view" on the world through text...  Feelings as we all know are not the simplest things to describe. 

On the bright side with the general degeneration of my body and mental capacity.. it's gonna be a interesting yet.. mono colour ride

Tyrian Delirium : Since you seem interested in sharing, go ahead and tell us your view of the world.  Try to be specific.  And if you're alluding to the loss of color receptors in your eyeballs, that should very well simplify things anyway.  You don't miss much with color.  It's not that spectacular and I think most people could stand some improvement through being color-blind in more ways than one.

Also, nothing of which you spoke of made me think you were suicidal.  And if you are?  Again, that's your life and your decision and I'm not going to tell you what or what not to do.  Do what you think will make you happy with respect to the greatest amount of people possible.  

Lastly, the real question is: What's the objective of the original thread?  Are you looking for something or did you just want to hear us prattle on about how wonderful our own lives are?

Tyrian Delirium :

Yeah, I can understand. Like I said, been there before. Been pretty depressed actually and for good reasons too.

If you want to know what happiness is, then I would say it is this.

Happiness is being pleased with yourself because you know what you are capable of. Happiness is being proud of something you've done. Happiness is sharing playful moments with people you very much enjoy doing things with. Happiness is that feeling you get after giving someone a gift and seeing how they react to it. Happiness is receiving a gift and seeing just how much someone cares about and knows you.

That's what I think happiness is. It's a form of love really. Platonically. And it takes a lot of things to reach it's true state, but it's why I value the time I have in my youth. So that I can prepare and hopefully have everything I need to be complete on my own someday.

I wouldn't give up on life just yet, though I can understand it sucks. Hoping things get better for you.

Your bitterness never gets shoved in anyones faces.
Losing independence through illness is depressing, there's no avoiding it, but you're not miserable most of the time.

The meaning of happiness has become so confusing that it's reduced to white noise.
More often than not a way of saying "this is cool", rather than a feeling.
ie. I'm happy you're around, etc.

Personal values come before emotions, since you'll have very little emotion left after years of illness and meds.
You won't give up when you're still able to do what matters, making others feel good, generally leaving an impression on people.

On3On : Thanks for the mature response. (not that you wouldn't do one, but y'know i'm an ass) 

I'm not sure if i defined this obviously.. But this isn't a #"attention" thread as some may call it.. I'm not going to injure myself if someone doesn't do the generic "it's worth living" speech.. because well i'm not that petty.. and despite the fact that Dying would be an effiecent solution to the pain i'm in.. it'd also deal more emotional pain to people that seem to care about me.. which i can't do.. Causing pain on someone for your own personal reasons is just douchey... 

I feel like this thread will always be a case of more questions with answers etc.. Mainly because it's about something that isn't easily defined.. but meh

It'd be nice to see the world in colour again though.. instead of black white and grey.. but that needs a stupid amount of optimisim and enthusiasm that in all honesty i've probably never felt in over a decade lol... 

Sigh.. it says a lot when you buy a ps4.. and your main feelings are "i hope it gets delivered to me, and meh... lol.. (ill probably find out i have no where to put it as well which is a pain but meh) 

I hope you all have a great week.. or at least a moderately tolerable one at least.