The time clock is ticking?

When is the right time to have children?

Do you think it is right to have offspring in the autumn of your lives when the shady tree is turning silver and the cracks of dry earth are appearing on the bed of the lake?

Go easy guys.

The right time, technically, should be in mid or late 20s. However, the way society and people are nowadays makes it hard for a stable enough relationship at that age to even think of having children. That's the impression I have in my country, it could perfectly be different somewhere else.

It is always right to have children if you're prepared for it, even if you're beyond your prime. They way you put it makes it even easier: children can turn the shady tree lively again. They are a new light that shines in your life, and they completely change you. I've experienced this with my cousin, he seems to be shining again after parenthood compared to how he was two years ago, to say a close gap, and he is nearly in his 40s.

Well I would say mid to late 20s but alot of times people are just not ready to have children at that age even if they say they are ready. I admit that I'm definatly not wanting any kids until I'm a bit older since I'm almost 20 atm... I have plenty of time to worry about all of that. I feel like when people have kids really young they are throwing their lives away basically even if it wasn't planned.

Especially when they are 12 and 13 year olds who are still baby's themselfs. It's really sad because the parents parent have to raise their children because they are too young to know how to even take care of a baby.

Overall I feel like it should wait until your in a really good and strong relationship and married to say the least. I would also say that a good time is when your life is slow and your not always busy running around doing things because when you have a child it's all about them, you have no time for yourself. I don't have any children but I have taken care of other people's children and their parents just look so much more tired than the average person and are always complaining about everything and I feel bad for them sometimes... it's hard to describe. I just know that I'm not having kids for a long while.

When you have a good, healthy relationship and you are emotionally and financially prepared to raise a child, that's the right time. Usually in your mid-late 20's but some people wait until their late 30's to have children.

There really isn't a set time to have children. I do however, think that people should be more aware of the risks of sex because there are a lot of 13 year old mothers and fathers all because they wanted to solidify their relationship completely oblivious to the mess they are getting themselves into. I personally don't care to have kids. I don't like the idea of raising them, and it's never been something I deeply desire. 

Nonetheless, many people are becoming parents at around mid to late 20s which seems fairly logical since they are more financially stable at this point in their lives. It is different depending on the location and the culture you live in, because what we might consider to be normal could be completely taboo in another country. There are a lot of young people make the mistake of having kids and not being able to properly support and raise them. By having kids in your early to late teen years, you have to basically throw away the prospect of finishing your education, and then find a suitable source of income to raise your child. Newborn children demand a lot of resources, and the strain is even more overbearing on those that are unable to meet the basic necessities. Altogether, everyone is entitled the right to have children, but I strongly support the idea that they should be aware of the risks and consequences of having a child ill-prepared. 

In my opinion, the right time to have children is when you know that your relationship with your spouse can easily remain well, and you know that you can have enough money to pay for whatever comes your way with your child.

Also, I think you should be married for at least 3 years before having children. Most adults I know in my life never had kids until they had been married for a few years, and that has always seemed to be the wise idea for me.

Although I will probably never have children of my own, I daresay "when you know it is right." In my view, having children once you have established your career seems about right since you have financial security (late 20s). Females in my family were all in that "security" situation when they got their children.

But if you intend to be a homemaker (not that there is something wrong with that; my father was for the longest time) you should get them while you still have the energy to raise them, so probably mid 20s.

I got married at 21 and had my first kid at 25. I wouldn't have had a kid earlier but we couldn't have one earlier than that. I think waiting to have your first kid until 30+ is a bad decision. Obviously every situation is different but putting it off is a mistake in my opinion.

Since I don't really think birth control, or. . . other devices are very great options it would be pretty early, If I could financially support it. However, it's probably hard to keep off someone you just got married to as well. And yet my mind/body has very little need/desire for sex.

When I think of a companion. . . I just. . .

I want someone to be with who makes me happy. Always. Who completes me, in a special manner so that I would know I mean something to her. Sex would really be an afterthought.

I would probably wait maybe 3 months after getting married to have kids. . . yet I have a feeling pregnancy would begin sooner than that, unless natural family planning is really that effective.

I'm not sure avoiding pregnancy is that great of a thing though I mean. . . it's natural. Human beings are capable of having children at a much younger age than they often choose so in America and other "civilized" cultures. Generally the age by which people get pregnant has raised a lot over the years, but I wouldn't consider this a good thing. In other cultures people have gotten married, and had children. It worked out just fine- because their people actually understood responsibility, and could provide for them.

In the end, that's what it's about.

When can you provide for them?

For me, the main thing finances. And I'm not talking about constant things either, like food, or even homeschooling. I'm talking about medical or dental bills. Take for example how expensive it is to treat teeth naturally? I know I had some really bad genetics with my teeth, and it. . .somewhat hurt my family economically. I had something wrong with my heart when I was first born, I can't remember what it was, but the doctors had to put a shot in my head in order to fix it. My parents were able to play for all my birthing expenses through. . nothing short of a miracle really.

The more children you have, the larger the house you're going to need. The more expenses you need to be ready for in case some genetic deal shows up. . . Eating healthy can go a long way, don't get me wrong, but still, genes can be merciless in determining the outcome of your child's help. I had underbite when I was born and that took a while to fix. I do think that insurance paid for a fair amount of that though at least.

I would put my wife's security above all else though. I mean, if she wasn't ready for children, I wouldn't burden her. She'd have to understand that means less sex though, to put it bluntly. If she's fine with that, then so would I be.


geeogree :

I could never understand why someone would wait until they're thirty to have children. Seems like you're missing out all the fun that you could have with them, and just, living life.

I think that I will probably wait 1 year before having children. Gives a person lots of time to think things out and get settled down with new houses/apartments or whatever, but it isn't too long and doesn't make you feel like you waited too long. And then after that, any subsequent children should be 2-3 years after each other.

I think a good age to have children would be mid to late 20's. 30's I guess might be ok, but after that, I personally think it would be too late. Then again, I'm not an expert on this so looking at the other responses first would probably be the best option here.

geeogree : Having children at an older age is usually riskier because it apparently increases the risks of abnormalities like Down Syndrome. It is like 5 percent or fewer of the cases, but still. And one does not have the same energy at 40 than at 30; one of my father's cousin had a daughter in her mid 30s and I heard her say that (through an intermediary).

Sword legion : yes, pregnancy is "natural" with respect to the survival of the species. But if you have no means to make your children grow what is the point? They are likely to have very difficult childhood (not impossible; just difficult) and maybe a host of problems. Also, although I can understand your way of thinking (sex = survival of the species) you have to realize that it can sometimes be impossible to control urges. Better safe than sorry, especially if you are not ready for it.

I'm only 21 years old and don't have kids of my own, but my personal idea of when I want to have them is "when I know I am ready to be a dad."

I have no idea when that'll be. It could be next year, it could be when I'm 29. If I were to realistically put a number on what age I'm aiming for, I'd shoot for 26 years old. A stable job with good income will be there (hopefully), and my significant other and I are old enough to have gotten out of the early 20's "party stage."

I know right now if I had kids, I'd be a bad parent - simply because I'm not ready. Now, this is using me as an example, as for putting a generalist label on the world... well, you kind of can't. Some people are mature and ready by 21 years old, some aren't ready until like 30 years old (using my friends parents and their stories as examples). I do believe that you should avoid having children until at least 22 years old, and before your early 30's - but my mom had another child at 40.

So yeah, it varies big time. I'd say patience is key, but too much patience is harmful. Aim for ~22-30.

I would say the best time to have a child is when a woman becomes pregnant. If more planning is allowed, some sort of financial stability by parents would be an ideal situation to be born into. And a parent should be mature. A parent needs to be willing to sacrifice. Far, far too many parents these days want to have children yet not grow up. If you can't be responsible for yourself, how can you be responsible for someone who depends on you for everything? "Kids, sorry there aren't many presents this year, times are tough." (Goes to the bar 3 nights a week) My old college room mate and his wife tried for years to get pregnant. Finally when doctors told them it wasn't possible, they adopted a girl from Venezuela. A year later she did get pregnant and now they have two kids 5 and 8. They don't have much and live in a tiny house but those kids don't want for anything. They have the most important things. Love, and family.