To:
Gingercream1:
Popeye116:
ghostfishy:
Mother3fan5:
maguc:
ryan2000:
Zlinqx:
A user of this:
juuldude:
papa122:
MCJungleKitty:



From:
The cat herself, Kuti Kat

Before I begin, I would like to be straight forward for a bit. I am an untrustworthy, lying fiend. I'm sure all of you (except Altearrain, 'cause she's my sister and I live with her) have been wondering why I've been absent, why I don't reply to messages, and why I acted the way I acted. That is why I typed this message for you all. If I missed anything or have any questions, I will do my best to answer. However, I can't say that I will answer every question. Now, without further ado, let's us begin.


Let's start with my disappearance. There were many reasons why I departed from this place; school, family, hobbies, video games, etc.. Although, the main reason was my parents.

When I first joined Vizzed, I was looking for a way to play Pokemon games. I have not played any since 8 years ago, because well, my parents took everything related to it away. Games, cards, plushies, toys, drawings, everything.They saw that series as a spawn of the devil and were extremely strict in that area, as well as in the area of schooling and Christianity. After that incident, I tried to find video games that had a similar formula or story arc to replace the desire of playing Pokemon. I found nothing to satisfy my needs. I tried Digimon, Fire Emblem, Phantom Brave, even Mario & Luigi. However, none of them fit the criteria.

One day, I saw a preview of Pokemon X and Y. I thought to myself, “You know what? I think I'm ready to get back in the series. I'm not obsessed with the series anymore. I think I gotten matured enough to play it again!” I looked for websites that had the old games and only found 2. The first was PlayR and the second was Vizzed. I tried the first, but the site kept deleting my saved files, even when I registered as a normal member. Next, I tried Vizzed and I was hooked. Every Game Boy game that I've ever played was on this site, including games older than me that my sisters played. The first game I played was Pokemon: Sapphire. After I played for about 5 hours, I saved my progress and went to my parents. I asked them, “Excuse me, Mom, Dad I was wondering.... May I play Pokemon games, again? I'm not obsessed over the series, and most of the kids at church talk about it. Plus, the last time I got angry with a game was 2 years back! So, is it okay?” They both looked at me, smiled, and said that the game featured demonic symbols and every time I played it when I was younger, my attitude towards my parents changed. They didn't want that to happen again, and told me a solid no. I acted normal and said okay, but inside I was furious. The fact that they didn't even think about, meant that if I ask the question again it'll still be no, no matter what. Angry and frustrated at my parent's reply, I pulled an all-nighter play Sapphire without my parent's permission.

The next day, I decided to prove them wrong by keeping a journal of how I reacted to the game. After many months (about 5 to be exact), I reread those journals. I notice that I hadn't changed at all, nothing was different. When I lost a battle, I was fine. When I won a battle, I was fine. When it got to the point where I had to try multiple times to defeat a gym leader, I was fine. In those past 5 months, my attitude only changed 3 times; when my computer died and didn't warn me it was on low battery, and when my family barged into my room without knocking or my permission. I was so excited that I had to show someone. My parents was a no, and my oldest sister (I have 2 older sisters, Monie [that's her nickname] and Altearrain) was a definite no. The only person I trusted the most and would keep my secret was Altearrain. After meeting new people and playing more games, the guilt of lying to my friends and disobeying my parents grew bigger and bigger. Pretty soon, I couldn't take it anymore and vanished.

During and after those events, my grades dropped, my real life friends (I had at least 3-4) moved or back stabbed me, my 2 sisters neglected my very existence, and I was in a spiral of depression and self-pity. I was
backsliding, until God picked me up and encouraged me to keep running the race. It was only recent that I realized I haven't been truly forgiven for what I did. What I'm saying is thank you. Thank you for putting up with me. All of you showed me what an awesome friend you are. You've showed me many excellent things, besides my family and Christ. You've showed me what friendship is supposed to be; truthful, merciful, kind, courageous, supportive, comforting, and carefulness. So, thank you for being you and showing me what it's like to have close friends!

So, now that you all know the truth about me, I would like to say that I am sorry. I am sorry for ignoring your messages. I am sorry for lying to you. I am sorry for neglecting you. I am sorry for not telling you this sooner. I am sorry for being distrustful. I am sorry for putting on a mask. I am sorry that I did everything negative in any way to you. Now that I said sorry, it's up to you to forgive me or not. Either way, I will understand the choice you make and will not force you to choose either one. However, all of you must choose. There is no maybe or in between option.


God Bless and see ya around!
– KK (or PM)


P.S. I will stay on Vizzed, however I am going to see if I could change my name to Poka Mocha in order to start off fresh, but with my mistakes in mind.

Gingercream1 :
Popeye116 :
ghostfishy :
Mother3fan5 :
maguc :
ryan2000 :
Zlinqx :
A user of this :
juuldude :
papa122 :
MCJungleKitty :
Fixing failed summons (hopefully)

I know this thread wasn't for me, and I apologize for replying, but since I'm already summoning them, may I say, good job coming clean about things. Always put God first.

I'm far from religious but I've heard about the whole controversy about Pokemon being the "spawn of the devil" never understood their reasoning even when trying to see it from a christian perspective.

But anyways that's besides the point, we all have things happen in real life and I know I've dealt with depression in the past, and I don't blame you at all, I don't think anyone does, I'm just glad to see you're back and you're doing better.

Now that you're back maybe we should catch up sometime *cough battleblock theater cough*

Edit: As for changing your username that's only allowed in special cases if you have under a certain amount of posts or haven't been registered for long so don't know if david would be willing to make an exception, but there has been talk about implementing a name changing feature in the future so sooner or later you may be able to.

I'm sorry about this. I had to reply here reading what happened. I know this isn't for me, but I wanted to say something of my own. Things happen and it depends on how we take it. You have done your first step here telling your friends what happened. And I know it was a hard thing to do to say the word "sorry" to your friends as that is not easy. I am sure they will forgive you. Like any friend would do they will understand why and what you did. some friends would do the unexpected, and leave without stating why which would hurt that friend greatly. But you didn't do that you came back, and wanted to let them know what happened. That is what real friends do. By not leaving your friends behind, and not to get them worried. I am sure this will be a great new start.

And I would also want to add one more thing. Don't change your username it still fits you. I don't see the need of doing, that not unless you really need too. Reason why is that. Its a part of who you are. People can do bad things, and still learn from their mistakes. Even I have done so. And then correct the errors that went wrong. A friend of mine when he was in a deep pit of trouble when I was helping him at the time. He told me that he wanted to change his username, or not use it anymore. I asked him why. He said. Its trash. Then I said. Well if you want to do better trashes needs to be cleaned. It will take time, but trust me it will get better. And he is doing much better than he was then. Though it was very long ago. I hope this advice helped. God bless. I am sure god sees your heart to be of a very great person. See you around.

Hey, Kuti Kat! Nice to hear from you again. I'm sorry about that whole family situation. Mine is the same way, so I know how it feels at times. I'm glad to know you're alright though. I've been wondering what was up. Anyway, thanks for filling us all in on what's been happening. I hope your grades get better, along with your relationship with your family and friends.

I at least forgive you. Although in my eyes there's nothing you did to need forgiveness for.  You're an awesome friend. And I'm glad to hear from you again! I'll keep you in my prayers as well.

Also, Poke Mocha is an awesome name. But I've kinda grown to Kuti_Kat. Whatever you end up doing with your username will be fine. Just be sure to tell me if you are changing it.

Kuti_Kat : It's Kadabra isn't it?
FOR THE LAST TIME STAR DOES NOT EQUAL PENTAGRAM

In all seriousness... or at least as serious as I can be, this isn't a big deal. You make it sound like some big conspiracy to take over the website. I guess I wouldn't really know though, all I have is one mom and virtual school, I practically exist in the internet. But this really does show someone like me who doesn't actually know you and likes to stick his nose all over the place see you as a kind, feeling individual. I've had some hiatuses, never have I come back worrying as much as you do, and that's not a bad thing. Caring is scarce these days, so it's a nice breath of fresh air to be injected with this level of friendship juice. Even if it does make my kidneys ache a bit :l God bless you and may you continue to speak out like this.

I had seen you around the boards a lot before and I was wondering about your absence as well. I can relate to your parents being strict about things you were passionate about. For example, my parents used to be more strict about who I talked to and what I did on vizzed.

For a while I was on here posting and all that other stuff in secret. However, I talked to them more about it and they were more comfortable with it. Then I got a staff position and told them about it. Now they're really happy about me being here (even though I don't get paid) XD

I can relate to you having depression as well, I'm pretty sure I had it for a week or so 2 years ago without even realizing it. I really missed my new friend from school and I was getting bored out of my mind. I could barely talk to any of my other friends either, and I didn't feel like it. I just felt like doing nothing. I've also had a lot of emotional problems this week, even today I haven't felt like myself.

I'll be praying that you'll trust in God and have a better life than what happened during your absence. Good luck