So there's this guy, old, maybe about 60 or so, at my favorite Starbucks who keeps bothering me.

He started bothering me this past Sunday. I was trying to do work on my laptop, but he kept talking to me & it was boring too. I had to pretend I was listening by nodding and giving some okay's and mhm's here and there, when I really was trying to tune him out. I only spoke in full sentences when he asked me questions so I seemed polite.

Right after he finally left for the day, this barista I just met came up to me and told me that if he ever bothers me again, to just tell her, they hate each other, and to NOT just be polite and that he bothers others too, which I thanked her for because he was.

Today he came up to me again and asked me if I got an email he sent to me (he asked for my email address on Sunday and I gave him an old address I almost never check anymore because I didn't know what else to say in this day in age, since just about everyone has an email address, even to sign up for Facebook) and I said yea and nothing else because that was the truth and I didn't know what else to say. Its true that I opened it and did not respond to it. I went on that account again because I was just curious as to if he actually emailed me or not and he did. I marked his email as SPAM so I wouldn't have to physically see his name again.

In the email, he just asked me how my week was and what's up.

I then just told him this is not a good time to talk, today, in person, as an excuse to get him to go away, because the barista that told me about him after he left wasn't there at the time and I wasn't sure about who else knew him in the store, in a negative manner.

Should I just bark at him and straight up say, ''Can you please leave me alone??'' next time he says anything to me? I haven't done so yet because he's a man, he's NOT disabled or anything (he can fully move) and I don't want to get hurt, especially physically, since I'm a woman, even though I REALLY want to bark at him!!!

What if that barista who tried to help me isn't there when he bothers me again? I'm sick of him!!!

I'd like for someone to report him or something. I don't want to stop going myself because I enjoy everyone else's company there.

Help?

Unfortunately, women go through this a lot.

My best advice is to first of all, usually go with a friend, if possible, especially if you live in a dangerous area. It can be inconvenient at times, but generally, the buddy system is a great defense.

Second, I would tell the barista, if she is there. If she is not, I would probably tell the guy to leave you alone the next time he talks to you.

If worst comes to worst, I'd carry pepper spray (if it isn't illegal... the world we live in, right?), just to give you some form of defense, although generally, 60 year old men aren't incredibly powerful.

legacyme3 : I would ask friends to come with me, but I work online (self-employed) and I wouldn't want too many distractions (a few are fine though, like small talk with baristas just for a few minutes or so) and I don't have too many close friends to comfortably ask to hang out anymore.

xxeliza321xx : I wouldn't recommend screaming as it's bad for you blood pressure. Just be honest but firm and say your are busy and not interested. I sometimes meet such people in buses or at bus stops; they are usually lonely and need some human contact. Try different hours if you can so you are not on "his schedule."

If he still insists, consider trying another coffee shop. Your profile says you are from New York; I'm sure there are tens of coffee shops within a one-mile radius of where you live

legacyme3 : pepper spray?! That's... extreme. But if the man is insistent, a loud horn should do the trick (apologizing tot he rest of the customers).

janus :

You can never be too careful in today's world. I've had numerous female friends sexually assaulted over the years, and it's better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it.

He's probably just lonely and wants somebody to talk to. I encounter people all the time around my area like that. He's probably not interested in you romantically. Old people just like to talk to younger people sometime because it makes them feel young again. If he is being pretty annoying just change your schedule or move to a different coffee shop like janus mentioned.

janus : lel , I laughed at your post because it is so true. The part about if you scream your blood pressure goes up. It's a terrible feeling  

Bintsy : It's always better to take it lightly in face of adversity. It's giving more wrinkles and voice problems than I would normally have.

legacyme3 : There's prudence, and there's... overpreparedness. We're talking of a 60-year old man. However evil his intentions *may* be, pepper spray is extreme, especially in a public setting. When coming back home is a different story though.

janus :

Mind, I never said USE the pepper spray. Just have it on her.

Most 60 year old men are weak, so you probably won't need to use it.

But it's not ALWAYS a 60 year old man, and it's not always a weak old man.

Having it on you, in today's society, JUST IN CASE, is a good idea.

Thanks everyone, very much appreciated! I guess I'll have to keep telling him I'm busy….

If that employee isn't there to help you out, you could still ask for the manager or the assistant manager. I'm sure that people bothering their regular customers is something they would want to take care of. I'm pretty timid as well, so if this was happening to me, I'd either ask politely, and if that didn't work, I'd go to another place... Well, actually, I'd probably just stay home... But it'd good to get out sometimes.

   And if those don't work, you could always try to pretend you're on the phone, most people leave you alone if you're talking on the phone. I've done it more than I care to admit... And it has worked for me. But it may not be as effective if someone is sitting there, waiting near you though... Sorry I couldn't be of more help. 

Go to another starbucks....plain and simple

TristanTehGamer1 : I would, but I really like the people at that particular location. However, I have not been going lately due to school reasons

xxeliza321xx : Has your problem "gone away" or is he still there? If he's still there you hopefully didn't have to use The extreme measures that were suggested earlier

janus : I have not been going lately due to school reasons and I have been ignoring his emails.

xxeliza321xx : I hear that in order to resolve any issues at a Starbucks, you have to walk into the bathroom, turn the light off, and say typical white girl three times into a mirror....I hope this helps

Just politely tell him that you do not wish to talk to him and him to leave you be. If he is bothering you,go to another place or ask the staff to intervene. Maybe it is just a guy thing,but if someone is annoying me,I say so.