So my brother who is in 8th grade (13 years old) just came home from school and told my mom that he was invited to a sleepover. A boy-girl sleepover. It will be him, 2 girls, and 2 other guys. My mom doesn't know this, but one of the girls is his girlfriend/crush/more than a friend. My mom is kind of uneasy and I don't blame her. On the other hand, my brother's friend group is the weird kids that sit in the corner and play on their DSs the entire day instead of socializing. The "nerd" or "geek" kids that people always make fun of. Knowing my brother and his friends I can guarantee that no sex will be occurring at that party. Not because he is a good kid, simply because he would just have no idea how to respond in a situation like that. Also because he would be too scared. Still though, I understand my mom's uneasiness. What do you guys think?

I can understand your mom's uneasiness too. However, I don't know how I would respond if I were in her shoes. Granted, if I knew one of the girls was his girlfriend, and I had not met her yet, then I would probably say no, since he is only 13. However, if I knew the girl, and the girl's parents, and the parents of the host of the sleepover, then I would probably be ok with it all. 

I guess it just all depends, is all. 

tgags123 :

I don't know your brother. But man, it would take a lot of faith to believe that any kid that age wouldn't fudge there. I had no such opportunities growing up to break my virginity thanks to my parents. And I am REALLY thankful for that. I also wouldn't be surprised if your mom was uneasy.

Hate to say it tgags, but even "Good kids" can go bad just like that. Without supervision, and in the wrong situation.

That's why I wouldn't allow it. I know for myself, sometimes our instincts can become quite impulsive. And at a puberty stage like that you may never know what might happen.

That being said, if you trust him, I would take your word for it. And Yeah, I can see him being too scared too react immorally in that situation. (Just cause I know I would be too scared at that age).

In the end, I think I would just go with whatever your mom says. (For his benefit) He's not going to lose anything just cause he couldn't sleep over at his friends house one night. But The consequences of inappropriate actions here could be high. With all due respect. I do not mean to suggest evil things about your siblings at all. Period. I just know how. . . . things can go crazy if unchecked. You know?

We never want to think evil about anyone like that. Especially family members. But we check just to make sure. For their benefit.

This kind of thing always bothers me.

I find that boy-girl sleepovers are perfectly fine... The whole sex thing to me is just stupid.

Yes, I know when boys and girls end up sleeping anywhere near each other, that sex is always a thought. But, if the kids are smart enough, they should be able to avoid it.

I've never been to one, as my parents are super crazy about that, and won't even let me and my freaking girlfriend get out of the main room in our house.

yeah, everyone has sexual desires, but it's pretty easy to just not do it. And if someone is like one of those kids who isn't really into that kind of thing (as to younger kids it can appeal to be really weird and sometimes sickening) then there really isn't a big risk to it.

Being uneasy about that is natural. But if i were to sleep in the same room with my girlfriend things still probably wouldn't happen. I'm really sexual as all of you know, but it's just not what I'd do...

thing1 : She doesn't know any of his friends, she hasn't met any of them before.

Sword legion : All true. When I was the same age I went to an all-male sleepover and half the night most of the guys were just on Chatroulette looking for girls that would show us their breasts lol. (I wasn't a part of it, I just played Super Smash Bros Melee most of the time! Don't look at me like that!) Haha so I could see 13 year olds "experimenting" at a sleepover, but I'm not sure my brother would be comfortable with that.

tgags123 :

Wow.

That's. . . . disgusting.

Too bad.

But yeah, I see, "light experimentation" a possibility. I guess it's like trying out strange waters, or something like that.

I would say watch him. FTR I have a 14 year old little brother whom I would say the same thing. (He's big anti sex, and so was I at his age. XD not something I need to worry bout till I get married, at least then there's loyalty, and my girl will know I'll always be there for her. I can't stand the idea of sex being anything less than a sacred bond and promise between two people. I bet the world would be a much happier for both children and adults if that were kept.

But anyway, you're the big brother. Keep an eye out for him. He may thank you someday. Even if a problem doesn't arise.

I know stories about bad things happening on boys and girls sleepovers, and let just say its a bad idea. Yes they might not do bad things but at their age the possibilities are higher than a 8 year old because they have seen a lot more bad stuff then needed. Then again it might never happen and am scaring you guys/girls 

I think that it's fine, if you have any doubt towards the subject you could interrogate him. Another suggestion is texting him/calling him while he's at the sleepover.

Just some words of wisdom, but be trusting and supportive towards him, he definitely would appreciate that.  (^w^)

I know I'm an 'old-fogey' and stickler when it comes to things like this... And I know that most people are so liberal nowadays that they'd be appalled at having anything against such a sleepover.  However, as a parent, Christian, teacher, adult (?).... I'd be entirely uncomfortable with this.  13 years is right around the age all those hormones start raging, and I've simply taught too many freshmen who aren't even virgins any more. The number of sexually active freshmen is astonishingly high in my school, and since most kids weren't shy about it... sometimes I was stunned by WHICH kids admitted to being sexually active.  Even a good kid can make a mistake.... even kids who have been taught that sex outside of marriage is bad.

Now, there ARE more than two kids there, and I'd certainly, certainly hope the parents are aware and responsible enough to make sure nothing awry happens.  That being said.. I still don't think I'd let my own kids go if I had any.  It only takes one mistake to create a lifetime of regret.

Alrighty then ... I think I will have to agree with Singelli on this one. I'm of the old mind set as well it appears because I would have a huge issue with this unless I knew the parents well enough to trust the situation would be handled right. Sound like your mom does not know the parents and to me that would raise a red flag very quickly. Even if your brother did not initiate anything who's to say the young girl will not ? Not to mention there is other potential problems there as well. If it was me I would say no unless I met the parents for a visit and got to judge them for myself in person, face to face. That is what I would suggest your mother do if she wants to show trust in him and let your brother do this sleep over. Also I would hope she stresses that point to him so that he knows without a doubt how important the matter is. To him it is probably no big deal and isn't giving it much thought. I know if I would have went to my mom and dad back in the day for something like that I would have gotten a sermon from my dad ( a for real, in your face bust your ear drums, southern Baptist preacher ) on how wrong it is and whatever verses from the bible he would deem best to tried to dissuade me. My mom on the other hand would have done what I suggested your mother do ... much to my dads' dismay. Well that's about all I can add. Hope it helps in some way. Pz out for now. :O)