So I was bored a couple of nights ago and decided to go looking for my old elementary school teachers on Facebook.

I noticed that a bunch of them just had the ''Message'' button and not the ''Add Friend'' button. I messaged them reminding them of who I am, along with the fact that I am a 2006 graduate.

Two replied to me so far, so we've been messaging a little.

One actually had the ''Add Friend'' button on his page, so I added him too. Weird because he's been messaging me but never responded to my friend request.

The other, as I mentioned, does not have ''Add Friend'' on her page.

Is it good etiquette to ask your old elementary school teacher to add you on Facebook, even POLITELY?
Should I cancel my friend request with the first teacher?
I am particularly concerned about the second teacher because she hasn't bothered to request me yet.
I'm 19 and a college freshmen now.

Even if you don't think it is, just say so. I just won't bring it up to them.

I don't think teachers are allowed to do that. I remember talking to one of my teachers and she said that she wasn't really allowed facebook I don't think. I think that's kind of radical but I think most teachers don't want their students or past students to be in their personal life.

I suppose it would be good etiquette to ask your old elementary school teacher to add you on Facebook, but that in itself seems weird. If you really want to stay in touch though, I would say go for it, it's not really that big of a deal, and unless they thought you were a really horrible student/person, you should have no issue. Besides, if you really want to do something you'll do it. It wouldn't be wrong to ask your teacher, so just go ahead. Plenty of people that have graduated from my school have added their old teachers on Facebook, but only once they've left high school, as the teachers are not allowed to have connections to students through social media whilst the students are still in elementary/middle/high school.

Facebook is a way to keep social connections with people you have had good relationships and experiences with.  I had a few elementary teachers that I checked in with as my life progressed through middle school and high school.  I went back to visit my 4th and 6th grade teacher when I got married and after I got out of the Marine Corps.

Facebook is a digital version of that.  It is a way to see what other people are doing and how their lives are.  If you had a good relationship with your teachers and they are interested in what their students are doing, there is no compelling reason why you should not have one or two or several as friends on facebook.  It is not illegal, it is not inappropriate, it is perfectly fine.

As a teacher myself, I want to say that I completely agree with warmaker.  I would absolutely love to keep in touch with some of my students, and since you've graduated, there's nothing wrong with it at all. You're an adult, as is your teacher, and of all the professions in the world.... a teacher is probably one of the few in which feedback years later can help motivate and drive.  As teachers, we long to see our students succeed, and if we don't see that happening, we can get disheartened.  Teaching is a lot more political and difficult than most can see from the outside, so that one comment from that one student may be all we need to keep going.

When I first became a teacher, I even let current students add me on facebook, as did most of our school's staff.  However, I ended that because kids posted too much stuff that I simply didn't want to see.  If a graduate wants to add me though.. I decide based upon their personalities and interests, as I would with any other adult.  You'll get a sense of this in college, when classes and professors are a wide variety of ages and social borders are defined a little differently.

Thanks guys
But these teachers aren't responding

Totally un-related, but I need more help and I don't wanna spam up the boards, so here it is.

There's this girl I like from elementary school
I kinda forgot about her until recently
I found her on Facebook and she accepted and we started talking

but now she deactivated and I'm pretty mad!!!!

And no, I don't feel like asking our mutual friends about her
I'm not too close to them, so I think that would be pretty strange.

What should I do here?

How long should it be until I really need to forget about her if she doesn't reactivate?

xxeliza321xx : There is absolutely nothing wrong with adding a teacher to FB after they are no longer teaching you.

About your other question, only you can answer that. There are many reasons to de-activate FB, and maybe she'll come back soon, maybe never. But I wouldn't get on it. There are other ways to get in contact with people.

It's simple, if you really like this person, find a way to contacting her, and just say you didn't want to loose touch. If not, then forget about her for now, and if ever she re-activate her account maybe consider it again then.

xxeliza321xx :

I think it depends on the relationship between teacher and student. I am in my 30s now and I have not really reached out to too many people from my school days on social media, but people have reached out to me. One such person was my old OT (occupational therapy) teacher who I had in elementary and in high school.

 

Up until almost two years ago I had not seen or heard from this teacher in over a decade as I dropped out of high school and did not really get a chance to talk to her about it. I was told by several people back then that I wouldn’t amount to anything and as a result I had strained feelings with a lot of people for several years. Even a few teachers told me that I would not amount to anything when I left school.

 

This teacher however, was always very good to me and always looked out for me. I became a writer after I left school full-time and one of the first things she asked me when we reconnected after all this time was for copies of my articles. Even though I was already a published writer before I left school, it was something that I kept myself. I don’t know whether it was because I thought it would be embarrassing or what have you, but I didn’t tell too many people that I was writer. This included teachers.

 

To make a long story short, I sent her some of my material and within an hour she wrote me back telling me how talented she thought I was and how proud she was of me and what I have accomplished, despite my setbacks. I have no problem in admitting that her saying that to me had me in tears. Things are far from perfect, but that did make me feel a little better about what I have done with myself since leaving school.

 

I don’t think there is any harm in  reconnecting with teachers later in life. Although some teachers along with people who I considered friends told me that I would not amount to anything, teaching is often a thankless job that has plenty of stress. It probably makes a teacher feel good to know that their efforts meant something to their students.

 

 

Thank you guys!
Now I totally know that there isn't anything wrong with trying to reconnect with teachers later in life!

And guess what?
She reactivated!

I don't really see a problem with it to be honest, facebook is really just a way to keep in touch and really nothing more. I can't really relate or say that this has happened to me because I don't have a face book, but I don't see a bad or inappropriate reason to add them. Unless the student just talks about inappropriate or irrelevant things, then I don't really have a problem with it. If so, then I think it would probably be best to hold. 

Thank you!