Note: This piece of writing is from a larger portion, and starts in a place that isn't the beginning, as the beginning isn't polished, I'd like for this sample to be rated, and I'd like any criticisms too. Just tell me if you feel like this style of writing is any good.

Their boots thudded against the warm earth. The sun had
broken in nicely considering the storm. Calent felt within his element.  He stretched a bit with a yawn and looked
around. Early rising kids were already outside, playing games, most already
proficient with their aspect.
“I was the best at that,” smiling with pride, Clair continued,
“It’s really easy when you can just hide in someone’s shadow.” As she said
this, one of the children turned around and launched a ball of fire towards
their own shadow, no response; they turned around with gloom and continued seeking.


“I don’t understand why we had to leave so early, can you err… fill me in?”
Clair had moved a bit quicker so that she was walking alongside Calent now,
pressuring him for an answer.
“I had to leave early because I’ve only got a limited amount
of time to learn, I don’t know why you left so early.” Calent raised an eyebrow
to her, imagining that at any point her parents would notice she’s gone. He
hoped anyway, especially since he set a noise trap to wake them up soon after
he left.  “Don’t you think that you’re
scaring your parents?”
“With any luck,” Clair turned away from him, “You’ve not
really met my parents anyway.” Calent noticed a little bit of so-far uncharacteristic
gloom on her face, which was quickly replaced by oh-so characteristic joy, “Besides 
they’ve always wanted me to explore the world, and this was the best opportunity
I was going to get.”

“Traveling with a monk?”

“Yep,” She continued her normal bouncy stride until she heard familiar sounds
that made her stop dead in her tracks. Calent stopped too, wondering what the
interruption was about.
“Clair?” She’d gone pale, reminiscent of a ghost, “Clair,
are you okay?” He turned back around to face forward, nothing. He walked up to
Clair and tried to pry an answer. Suddenly, the loud sound of metal impacting
ground rang from behind him. Calent saw two individuals, and what now looked
like the remains of a noise trap.
Realising who these two were, Calent regained some of his
stride,

“Ahaa, nice to meet you again. I apologise for the rude awakening, but I was a
bit concerned as your daughter appeared to be following me out of town. She’s
still here, but she’s a bit startled for some reason?” Clair’s father walked up
to Calent, and before he could react, her father had prepared a fist, now
flying toward him. Bracing for impact, Calent expected a hard hit. What he got
instead, was the feeling of falling.
“I’m sorry, I just didn’t know what to do and he was about
to punch you an-“Calent opened his eyes. Darkness surrounded him, enveloped
him. He resisted the urge to scream He couldn’t see anything, save for one
thing, holding tight around his chest with vice like grip.

“I warned you about my parents, they don’t like people coming to the village ‘cause
I try to escape every time an-“

“Clair! Please!” Calent calmed her down, “Just tell me what’s going on and
quickly because I’m getting nauseous.” Clair took a deep breath.  

“The reason I wanted to go with you is because my parents are protective of me.”

“Isn’t everyone’s?” Calent retorted.

“Not in this way,” she worked her way around Calents body, taking great care
not to let go of him with both hands. “Like my parents told you I’m a pure shadow
mage. For some reason this means that I’m something rare. So my parents took
that to extremes,” their conversation was interrupted by another sudden
feeling, one of landing. Calent realised that Clair had teleported both of them
somewhere. With the amount of time he’d been falling realised, he threw up on
the ground nearby.

And that's it, as I said I'd love to hear any feedback on this!

Wow. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. It was really good, and descriptive. I actually thought it might be a professional writing, that had been copied and pasted here. Apparently not. This is great. Keep it up! I hope you share more with us in the future.

Eirinn : Oh wow thanks for the compliments haha, I've never had anyone look over anything I've written before so it's to have some positive feedback, I've just put the second part of this out, which might be the last because I've got to sort out real life stuff for a bit, but I think in the second part I show my greenhorns a little bit :s

Oh wow I would def love to read this in a comic book form (not saying it's bad as it is, of course). I could definitely see maybe Image or Dark Horse doing something like this. Of course, I read as many comics as I do novels, so I might be a bit biased...
Are you thinking of publishing or are you doing this for fun? Also, sorry I'm not really giving any specific criticisms or compliments. I'm not really that great of a writer, wouldn't want to do something I'm not qualified for, haha.