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The worst joke in the world?

 

05-06-13 03:25 PM
Totts is Offline
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Is it the joke that is not funny or do some people not have comedy timing.

My cousin told me this and kept cracking up as he told it as he knew the punch line and thought it super funny, which kind of ruined it, but I stuck with it through gritted teeth and by the time he got to the punch line had to pretend to laugh, well really I just smiled out of relief and he kept saying but you think its funny right. And I was like yes I could see it would be funny, but really I was thinking gosh that was terrible.

What do you think of the joke?

Do you have any worse then this you could tell Vizzed?


A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in

their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.



She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in

front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the

wall.



She watches as he wiped a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his

coffee.



"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why

are you down here at this time of night?"



The husband looks up from is coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when

we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly. The wife is

touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive.



"Yes I do," she replies.



The husband paused. The words were not coming easily.

"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car

making love?"



"Yes, I remember," said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside

him.



The husband continued. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my

face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail

for 20 years?'



"I remember that too" she replied softly.



He wiped another tear from his cheek and said......"I would have gotten

out today."


Is it the joke that is not funny or do some people not have comedy timing.

My cousin told me this and kept cracking up as he told it as he knew the punch line and thought it super funny, which kind of ruined it, but I stuck with it through gritted teeth and by the time he got to the punch line had to pretend to laugh, well really I just smiled out of relief and he kept saying but you think its funny right. And I was like yes I could see it would be funny, but really I was thinking gosh that was terrible.

What do you think of the joke?

Do you have any worse then this you could tell Vizzed?


A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in

their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.



She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in

front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the

wall.



She watches as he wiped a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his

coffee.



"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why

are you down here at this time of night?"



The husband looks up from is coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when

we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly. The wife is

touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive.



"Yes I do," she replies.



The husband paused. The words were not coming easily.

"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car

making love?"



"Yes, I remember," said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside

him.



The husband continued. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my

face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail

for 20 years?'



"I remember that too" she replied softly.



He wiped another tear from his cheek and said......"I would have gotten

out today."


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05-06-13 08:47 PM
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I bet I would have laughed at this if I would have been "told" this.

That is why if you go see a comedy show the jokes wont work when you tell them to your friends at home or work.

And no, I am not going to tell my worst jokes on vizzed. I sort of like it here. Plus some of the jokes I know are puns that just cannot be translated into english.
I bet I would have laughed at this if I would have been "told" this.

That is why if you go see a comedy show the jokes wont work when you tell them to your friends at home or work.

And no, I am not going to tell my worst jokes on vizzed. I sort of like it here. Plus some of the jokes I know are puns that just cannot be translated into english.
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05-06-13 09:14 PM
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Lets move through the genres.

Racist jokes..... for some reason people think making fun of different people is funny.

Religion jokes: I will never make fun of someone for what they believe, and nobody else should

Holocaust jokes: Genocide= gold mine? I do not talk to people who think those are funny.
Lets move through the genres.

Racist jokes..... for some reason people think making fun of different people is funny.

Religion jokes: I will never make fun of someone for what they believe, and nobody else should

Holocaust jokes: Genocide= gold mine? I do not talk to people who think those are funny.
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05-06-13 09:26 PM
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ender44 :

You forgot the "dead baby in a blender"- jokes. And worse.
ender44 :

You forgot the "dead baby in a blender"- jokes. And worse.
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05-06-13 10:51 PM
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Totts : that is sort of funny with the whole shotgun in face thing and getting out of jail for 20 years on that day haha

Okay I agree with all of you guys and the racist, religion, and even blond jokes.

Racist jokes aren't funny to begin with because they humiliate and offend people with that race, and I don't see the humor in that.

religious jokes I think follow the same rule because they are highly offensive to someone's religion. Although I haven't heard any religious jokes, you don't need to be Stephen Hawking to figure it out and what they make fun of.

blond jokes: okay I will be honest, I have heard a few good ones before but the rest of them are pointless and dirty which is a while other type of humor I don't find to be funny.

here is a recent blond joke I heard:

3 blonds are sitting at a table doing something no one else could see.

someone comes over and hears them giggling and asks: " what is so funny?"

The blond girls say:"we are awesome!" and the person asks why and the blond girl say they finished a puzzle.

The person says: "so? how does this make you awesome?"

then they say "we finished it in 20 minutes, the box said 3-5 years!"

I laughed when I first heard this. Personally I think yo mamma jokes are the funniest because I know so many!
Totts : that is sort of funny with the whole shotgun in face thing and getting out of jail for 20 years on that day haha

Okay I agree with all of you guys and the racist, religion, and even blond jokes.

Racist jokes aren't funny to begin with because they humiliate and offend people with that race, and I don't see the humor in that.

religious jokes I think follow the same rule because they are highly offensive to someone's religion. Although I haven't heard any religious jokes, you don't need to be Stephen Hawking to figure it out and what they make fun of.

blond jokes: okay I will be honest, I have heard a few good ones before but the rest of them are pointless and dirty which is a while other type of humor I don't find to be funny.

here is a recent blond joke I heard:

3 blonds are sitting at a table doing something no one else could see.

someone comes over and hears them giggling and asks: " what is so funny?"

The blond girls say:"we are awesome!" and the person asks why and the blond girl say they finished a puzzle.

The person says: "so? how does this make you awesome?"

then they say "we finished it in 20 minutes, the box said 3-5 years!"

I laughed when I first heard this. Personally I think yo mamma jokes are the funniest because I know so many!
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05-07-13 05:19 AM
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The worst one I've heard was about my relative being hospitalized and was in the ICU fighting for her life. Definitely the worst... I can't stand jokes about people meeting an accident, who got injured, hospitalized, or (specially) had died.
The worst one I've heard was about my relative being hospitalized and was in the ICU fighting for her life. Definitely the worst... I can't stand jokes about people meeting an accident, who got injured, hospitalized, or (specially) had died.
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(edited by Juliet on 05-07-13 05:20 AM)    

06-15-13 05:11 AM
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My friend told a terrible dead baby in a blender joke

"what do you get when you put a baby in a blender?"

Me: What?

"an erection."

That was sick, even for him.
My friend told a terrible dead baby in a blender joke

"what do you get when you put a baby in a blender?"

Me: What?

"an erection."

That was sick, even for him.
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06-15-13 05:16 AM
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Totts : I thought the joke was kinda funny.... im not a very humorous person. I know a really awful one. here goes:


whats a lego's favorite food?


BLOCK CHOI!......everyone thinks its awful



DIG IT WHOO!


Totts : I thought the joke was kinda funny.... im not a very humorous person. I know a really awful one. here goes:


whats a lego's favorite food?


BLOCK CHOI!......everyone thinks its awful



DIG IT WHOO!

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06-15-13 08:39 PM
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Here is a good one.
Yo mama so fat,
That she Fat!!!!!!
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha NO.
Here is a good one.
Yo mama so fat,
That she Fat!!!!!!
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha NO.
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Barathemos : Actually, somebody told me that one before O.o I didn't find it funny either...

I know a lot of blond and yo mama jokes.

Yo mama so stupid she put a newspaper over the Television and said she was watching paper-view (pay-per-view)... sold her car for gas money... put lipstick on her forehead to makeup her mind... so ugly she made an onion cry...

Know how to get a blond out of a tree? Wave.

How'd the blond burn her ear? the phone rang while she was ironing.

Oh, Pollock jokes too. I know a lot of them. Why is there no ice in Poland? the old lady with the recipe died.  I know more than that, but some of them are kind of violent...

And of course yoshirulez is my little brother, we live together, so he's constantly supplying me with jokes that aren't the least bit humorous... block choi ...


Barathemos : Actually, somebody told me that one before O.o I didn't find it funny either...

I know a lot of blond and yo mama jokes.

Yo mama so stupid she put a newspaper over the Television and said she was watching paper-view (pay-per-view)... sold her car for gas money... put lipstick on her forehead to makeup her mind... so ugly she made an onion cry...

Know how to get a blond out of a tree? Wave.

How'd the blond burn her ear? the phone rang while she was ironing.

Oh, Pollock jokes too. I know a lot of them. Why is there no ice in Poland? the old lady with the recipe died.  I know more than that, but some of them are kind of violent...

And of course yoshirulez is my little brother, we live together, so he's constantly supplying me with jokes that aren't the least bit humorous... block choi ...

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Worst and the mot highly offensive joke I've ever heard, speaker 1 says "wanna here a joke", speaker 2 responds "sure" speaker 1 says "women's rights" .
Worst and the mot highly offensive joke I've ever heard, speaker 1 says "wanna here a joke", speaker 2 responds "sure" speaker 1 says "women's rights" .
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i know some yo mama jokes which make you laugh the first time you hear it, then later you dont even grin.

yo mama is so fat .......when she stands on a weighing scale it says to be continued/ one person at a time.

also another offensive but pretty good joke:

shortest joke in the world: two women sitting quietly.



i know some yo mama jokes which make you laugh the first time you hear it, then later you dont even grin.

yo mama is so fat .......when she stands on a weighing scale it says to be continued/ one person at a time.

also another offensive but pretty good joke:

shortest joke in the world: two women sitting quietly.



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To me the worst jokes in the world is raciest jokes,knock knock jokes, and  idiotic jokes like this for example individual 1: your stupid, individual 2:your mom.
To me the worst jokes in the world is raciest jokes,knock knock jokes, and  idiotic jokes like this for example individual 1: your stupid, individual 2:your mom.
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I'm surprised nobody has mentioned why did the chicken cross the road. I haven't gotten the joke yet and it has been around 8 years since I first heard it.
I'm surprised nobody has mentioned why did the chicken cross the road. I haven't gotten the joke yet and it has been around 8 years since I first heard it.
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The worst joke I herd was "Knock knock.Who's there?I am".
The worst joke I herd was "Knock knock.Who's there?I am".
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I don't know if this is a big deal or not but for me, it is all yo mamma jokes, a  lot of them are funny, but there are some that are just stupid and they make no sense.


Like some are lame like this:


Yo mamma so fat we are in her right now.   Lame.....

Yo mamma so fat she is fat.     Okay we kind of get that already....

Yo mamma so ugly its not even funny.   Which is completely true, this joke isn't funny at all!


I mean really? There are so many other yo mamma jokes out there that are hilarious that you could use instead but it always ends up being a lame one. My favorite one is yo mamma so fat she needs a paint roller to put on her lipstick or needs a driveway to iron her clothes! 

I don't know if this is a big deal or not but for me, it is all yo mamma jokes, a  lot of them are funny, but there are some that are just stupid and they make no sense.


Like some are lame like this:


Yo mamma so fat we are in her right now.   Lame.....

Yo mamma so fat she is fat.     Okay we kind of get that already....

Yo mamma so ugly its not even funny.   Which is completely true, this joke isn't funny at all!


I mean really? There are so many other yo mamma jokes out there that are hilarious that you could use instead but it always ends up being a lame one. My favorite one is yo mamma so fat she needs a paint roller to put on her lipstick or needs a driveway to iron her clothes! 

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What do you call a snail on a ship? A SNAILOR!
What do you call a snail on a ship? A SNAILOR!
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What did the fisherman say to the card magician? Pick a cod, any cod!

DrakPokeMaster : Call me ****ed up, but that made me laugh.
What did the fisherman say to the card magician? Pick a cod, any cod!

DrakPokeMaster : Call me ****ed up, but that made me laugh.
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Why the chicken cross the street.Pfft..to...Get to the..pfft haha..Other side..LOOL


Why the chicken cross the street.Pfft..to...Get to the..pfft haha..Other side..LOOL
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Rider your avatar SCARES me...

Why couldn't the 11 year old boy get into the pirate movie?

IT WAS RATED ARG!
Rider your avatar SCARES me...

Why couldn't the 11 year old boy get into the pirate movie?

IT WAS RATED ARG!
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