One day, a guy named Steve(crappy right, Steve xD) was playing super mario world in his room, with his parents away(vacation maybe :p) and no body home, it was dark...midnight, he had just finished playing, having read countless story's of anonymous deaths during nights when kids and adults have been away from home or home alone, disregarding them, he went to bed, excited though tomorrow was the

release day for a game he had been waiting for, for 3 years, quickly going to sleep, after an hour, the super mario world game he had been playing turned itself back on, it went to the main screen, but, it did not play it's normal music it played a screeching noise, as if someone was scratching a chalk bored, it was almost silent, steve did not notice it though, to excited for the release of the game tomorrow, he slept right through the night. the night morning when he got up to go get the game he had been waiting for, he had remember that he cannot drive, with his parents away he would have to wait for the game. but that did not stop him from getting the game, so he went online and found a copy, this game being just released, he disregarded his thought that maybe it could be hacked or modded. so he ordered the game, a few days leter it had arrived, he opened the package, to find out this game looked nothing like what he saw online, the label was torn off, and it was scratched horribly, you could clearly see every scratch on the game, he disregarded it, and put the game in his SNES, thinking that theses were just signs of a bad owner. when he booted the game up a loud screetching noise played almost like the one from super mario world, he muted his TV, but he could still hear it, a text box appeared on screen, it read: "turn it off", so the player turned it off, but the game turned itself back on, again a text box appeared, it read: "you fool", he was creeped out, almost tears coming from his eyes, his heart beating faster then he could ever imagine, after working up enuff guts, he turned it on one final time, this time, the title screen came on, it seemed like it was working properly, so he again disregarded what had happened before, he went to the save select screen, but, he noticed that the save file letters spelled something, after a few minutes he figured it out, they spelled: "save...yourself...", after he read it he started puking, probably the scariest thing to happened to him, he ran to the bathroom, while he was there the game again played a screetching sound, it almost sounded like children screaming, he could almost hear a fade voice, saying: "you.....can...not.....hide......", at this point he thought for sure the game was hacked, he was horrified. he left the house, leaving the game on. he ran as far away as he could, to a relatives house, luckly all was ok there, his uncles asked him why he was so scared, and why his heart was beating so fast, but before he could say a word, his heart stopped and he died.



Well i hope you enjoyed reading this creepypasta, this is my first, and im sure any of you who

read this probably know what a creepypasta is :p.



And for the record i did not do any planning for this i just kinda made it up as i went along.

I like video game creepypastas, they are fin to read. I was thinking of writing one for Luigi's mansion. If I do I will probably sign it Ender44 so if you ever end up seeing it tell me what you think. 

Ok, if i have stumble over it i will tell ya what i think

Very cool! I love video game creepypastas. :3

7/10!

This geniunely freaked me out. lol Nice work.

it had a good idea, but you should've edited it. just because some words appeared on the screen he started puking? that doesn't make any sense. also, his heart stopped. Why? How? who was this person controlling the game? who sold it to him? if you made it a bit longer and added more stuff, it would've been better

Nice creepypasta! 8/10

   I'll give it to you straight. It has potential, but there are some pretty major problems. First, the whole thing seemed like a long run on sentence. The first sentence goes on for four whole lines. Secondly, there isn't any build up. There is like, two lines when creepy stuff starts to happen, and you were still in the first sentence, you already get to the creepy stuff. There ought to be at least a paragraph before you add creepy stuff, and the creepy stuff should be subtle if you put it in that quickly. Not like, "the game turned on and started playing creepy screeching noises", but like, "He was playing the game, when he noticed a slight screeching noise, but he didn't think much off it" and continue on. Third, it is really cliché, I mean, he buys a game online, and the label is torn off and scratched, it just is used too much in creepy pastas. You need to make something different, not do the same old story everyone else uses. Lastly, it seems kind of jumbled up. Like, the game turns on and acts creepy before he even gets the actual game that is supposed to be hacked. It just seems kind of confusing to read. There were some good parts about it though, like the creepy parts are pretty creepy, and the fact that he is alone gives the whole house an ominous setting. With improvement it could be great, but it seems just... not done very well. 6/10 for your first try, but don't worry, you won't be amazing immediately. I would like to see you write another one and see what you can do with it

Nice story, that's a bit creepy because I have a friend named Steve and he likes Mario. O_o Keep at it though!

That's a pretty good creepy pasta but it would probably have been better especially the ending he died it could have been better so I will give it a 8/10

It was a pretty good creepy pasta, but I would have revised it and added some things in. I felt like the story ended abruptly and you could've done a bit more with the ending. Also, detail, I will admit as a writer I hate details but they really help the reader understand and you really need to create an image for them. So next time, and please don't be afraid to, revise the crap out of it.

gamingdude : WOAH. creeped me out a lil. good job. 10/10

Only one problem. "Oh man, my game is spelling get out and stuff, I better go and die with mah cousin!