I apologize if there is already a thread on this. I was too lazy to look for it. So if you need to close this, I understand.

So to the topic at hand. Does love exist? I am referring to romantic love of course. I honestly don't know if I believe in romantic love. It seems that it never lasts. At least in my experience. I could be wrong. What do you think counts as true romantic love. That is if it exists. Maybe someone can convince me I'm wrong. I just feel like that kind of love doesn't exist. It always ends up in heartbreak. How can it be true love if someone ends up hurt? I guess I just don't understand it. Can someone help me out here?

I don't mean to be rude.

Of course it does.

To quantify it as something that exists, we need to first know what it is.

We know love to be a strong mutual attraction to each other based upon a number of variables.

This can manifest itself in several ways.

You are asking about Romantic Love.

There's a saying that "nothing lasts forever", which holds true to everything that has ever existed, and ever will exist. This is because nothing DOES last forever. Once you die, you are dead, and that is the end of forever for you.

Things be, because we perceive them to be. If we are dead, we do not perceive. Hence they do not be to us anymore.

Romantic love is an idea, which requires faith, and not a tangible object you can see. This makes it KIND of like religion in a sense.

Up until a week ago, I'd have more trouble explaining this feeling, because I had never been with someone physically that I felt great love for. However, my trip to Portland OR opened my eyes to what I declare as truth. Love exists because I will it to exist. And because another wills it to exist.

Once ones will ceases, the love will die.

This goes back to what I said earlier. "We know love to be a strong MUTUAL attraction to each other based upon a number of variables."

Mutual means both parties. Once one party ceases to love, it is no longer love.

It sucks to be cold about it. But yes, it does exist.

legacyme3 : It's not cold, well at least I don't think so. And that thing about nothing lasts forever, that's true. What I am referring to is in my lifetime. I am not asking about forever. I am sorry I didn't clarify that.

It's sad to say, but love might not be a factor in everyone's lives.

Think of love like baseball.

Both come and go, and both will break your heart.

Not every city or even state has a baseball team.

Not every person has love.

Depending on what you want in love, you may or may not find it. That doesn't mean you should stop looking though, you should always look. Because if you never look, you will never find it.

I believe everyone CAN find love, but it's not only about being a good person. Its also about finding the right person at the right time.

Here's an example. I met my current girlfriend around 5 years ago. Had we dated back then, we might not be together now, because we were stupid kids. However, now we are, and I truly believe it to be love.

It takes both the right people as well as a lot of luck to make love truly last a lifetime.

I hope I was SOME help. It's not easy explaining things.

Love does exist. It's rare to see it last a life time in a couple but it is possible. I know a few married couples that have been married for over 30 years and still love each and it doesn't look like it's going to end soon. But love itself does exist same way we do

legacyme3 : You explained it very well leggy. In a way I actually can understand it. I guess I was giving up too early. Thank you for explaining it for me. Hopefully one day I can actually find that person at the right time. But you're absolutely right.

Diana4281 : Thanks for replying. I hope others reply to this, help me understand this more clearly. Kind of sad I'm older and can't even help others with something like this. But at least I have you guys to help me out.

Well I can't seriously contribute to this conversation since I've never even had a first date. However, to lighten the mood, I would like to share with you what your question made me think of: Physics. More specifically, my high school physics teacher. He was a riot. When we went over gravitational forces, he compared love to gravity--an intangible force of mutual attraction (as Legacyme3 pointed out). Anyways, I've always thought it was pretty funny. On our exam, he gave us some question like "sarah is at the dance. suddenly, she feels something. the guy (idk, jason or something) just entered the dance. If he weighs __ N and she weighs __ N and they are __ distance apart, is it Love? or is it Gravity?" It was the greatest question ever. Not sure exactly but I think I was one of the only people to get it right. Think it ended up being love cuz the gravitational field would've been too weak to feel. lol 

Sorry, hope I'm not spamming. I take Leggy's view for the most part, in that it's a mutual feeling. I guess a one sided attraction would just be lust. And as far as being hurt, I would say that that's evidence that there was something there, at least for the person who got hurt. People who love each other shouldn't want to hurt each other, but stuff happens, and to not feel anything afterwards would be all the more confirmation that it should've ended sooner.

danielbelitch : Thanks for the reply. That makes even more sense to me now. WOW, I never thought of it like that before. Love being like gravity. I honestly think I've been seeing it in the wrong light. I guess I'll be looking more into this. Thanks again. 

Love is what keeps people together raising a child, living under the same roof, meeting halfway, cherishing the good times, and learning from the bad times. I know the feeling of not believing in someone being in love with me, but really, if two people are similar enough, get to talking, and just keep getting closer, I see no reason why love would not result. It takes a while for some to find it, but that's okay. Better late than never right? 

However, I've noticed first-hand that it is the ones who are hard to get, those are the ones we tend to go for. Usually the hard to get ones, really aren't worth it, but we go for them anyway. At a certain point (hopefully) we reach a level of maturity and are able to avoid that mistake. 

Also, think about this. Isn't it the ones who you love that hurt you the most? I mean, a stranger doesn't really know you so anything they do (unless catastrophic) won't sting as bad. However, someone who you've known, who knows you well, someone who you've poured your heart and expectations onto...they're the ones that hurt. We invest in our loved ones so naturally when they disappoint or hurt us, it really gets us down.

I hope that offered at least a little help. 

NotJon : Yeah. I agree. Sometimes our loved ones can hurt us. But the love, like family love, I have always been able to move on from any kind of hurt they may have done. For some reason, I find it harder to move on so easily when it comes to romance. I have no idea why. Unfortunately, I am still living and learning. In some ways, I'm afraid of getting hurt, so I just get very stand offish with people. I can make friends very easily. But the romance part has never really been in my life much. Maybe that's why I'm so doubtful about it. Who knows?

SunflowerGaming : I am a very... nice, selfless, and compassionate guy people say. So basically self-sacrificing. But in reality, that is me... but my heart has hardened. I am sad to say that I don't feel many other emotions besides joy (as in laughing at something funny), happiness, and care. For me, love would be caring about somebody that I would willingly die for. Hell, I would probably jump in front of a stranger just to save his life because that is the type of person that I am: self-sacrificial person. So I guess the equivalent of the love you speak of would be for me to want to be around that person during all of my free time, and do anything for her, whether it be care for her, die for her, cook for her, whatever it may need that I need to do. I am sad to say I can't feel love, but I wish that I could. I don't mean to be so dark, but really, that is me.

Sorry for sounding so dark.

legacyme3 : now you know where I am coming from when I might sound a little dark or you don't understand what the message I am trying to convey.

thing1 : I understand that feeling. Sometimes I wonder if I am the reason I haven't found love. Maybe it's me, am I unable to love someone like that? I mean, I love my family but that kind of love is different to me. I know that kind of love lasts. But I am uncertain about the romantic kind. I guess I'm at a point in my life where I'm soul searching. That's the only way I can explain it.

SunflowerGaming : I don't think you understood where I was coming from. I meant that I am not physically capable of feeling emotions, not that I choose not to. Don't et me wrong, I wish I could feel emotions. I could no even force myself to cry when I was eight, I think, to cry when two of my last three grandfather's passed away within a couple months to each other. The point is, I wish I could feel love, I am just not physically able to. I don't know how else to explain it. I'm sorry if I was of no help to you.

thing1 :

Oh, I get where you come from, I pretty much did.

I just didn't and still don't agree with you for the most part.

A lot of the time I think you are wrong and have a conflicting view.

However, when it comes to this, I take the dark road because love is just like that.

thing1 : I understand what you meant. I was just telling you how I feel about it. Sorry if that wasn't clear.

SunflowerGaming : no worries, it's alright.

legacyme3 : see, that is why we are such good friends... we can agree to disagree. You know what, I honestly would not meeting you in real life, seeing as how you are an adult. We should PM me each other, and start making plans for when I get done with my first part of the army. Right now, I want to go to Korea after basic and A.I.T., but this is not the place to talk about that.

thing1 : I don't want to pry, but may I ask why you are unable to have emotions. You said you physically can't, I don't really know what you mean by that. If it's too personal you don't have to reply.

SunflowerGaming : No, it is no trouble at all. When i was young, i had a lot happen in such a little time. Family members dying, moving so much, among other things. I guess you could say that my heart is black from not being able to form an actually lasting relationship. I have not given up; that is now what i am saying. That covers emotions... as for love: girls break up with me for either being to kind or not being mean enough to them. it's really hard for me to be mean or to hold of a grudge. so if i am either one of those to you, you have either done something really big and / or unforgivable, r have done things repeatedly. So I guess I can't feel romantic love because of all the experiences I have with it.

thing1 : I see. Maybe you've just went for the wrong girls. I dunno, I'm not you but that's a possibility.

yoshipit222: I am asking about romantic love. I know the other kinds of love exists. Just I'm doubtful about the romantic kind.