Oh, crud, THIS game. This is X-Men on NES. This game isn't the worst ever, but still, it's note worthy of being bad. It's as bad as Farfetch'd from Pokemon. Seriously. About Batman Returns... that's a long story... I can't promise I'll ever be able to do it, sorry for the lie in the Shaq Fu review. Whether it's the emulators not working, going full screen, or getting cheated out of getting an ACTUAL COPY, it might take a LONG time.

                                                          --- LJN... you have hurt me. ---
So, this is X-Men. Let's start the game. ...Okay, these sprites look decent! But, like in E.T., title screens are DECIVING. Now, we press Start and LOOK AT THAT. Yes, this is the works of LJN, a subdivision of Universal Studios made to make the crappiest games of the late 80s and early 90s. Unfortanetly, this is some of thier best works, but in my opinion, thier best game was Beetlejuice. Back to X-Men, you get all these weird options. I'll be using Practice first. Two of the X-Men (Iceman and Cyclops) have a shooting weapond. Those two are my favorites, so I usally pick them. But don't ever let the CPU use the shooting item. He'll just shoot anything in his sights to oblivian. 

                                                            --- Wait... that's a second life? ---
So, there's all this crap flying across the screen, and eventually, it kills my Iceman. Crap. I didn't even kill the Cyclops. ...Well, isn't the level going to start over? And why isn't Cyclops doing anything? *Raphidly preeses A and B* Well, Cyclops is still shooting. *Presses D-pad* Wait... I'M IN CONTROL OF CYCLOPS?!?! Why didn't they tell me? I keep running into invisible walls. I don't know if it's just me, or are the obstacles to hard to tell the diffrence from the ground? I think it's true with that ..weird ... garbage disoposal stage. Well, that's what it looks like to me! It's so hared to distungish this, one of the many possiblites of horridness with this "game". And why do I put 'game' between two double apostrophes? Because it's not a game. It's "Garbage Anger-making Mad Evilness".  A.k.a. "G.A.M.E." But it's not a G.A.M.E. either. It's a piece of crap. They didnt even try with anything. Including music. I just muted it to play something better. Maybe like Frank Sinatra or Nyan Cat Smooth Jazz edition or something. Anything but these horrid sound effects and "music. Well, not anything. Definitly not Beaver... Ugh.

                                                             --- Wolverine... WHERE'S YOUR CLAWS?!?! ---
So, I haven't explained what the other 4 X-Men have as weaponds... they all have thier fists. Even Wolverine. YEAH. Wolverine can't even use his trademark claws. Gosh, even in the next LJN X-Men game, you actually have to take out his claws. LJN... you should of thought before making this crap. This is supposed to be a GAME, you know. I can't beleive that some HUMAN could of made this. The horrible graphics, unbearable music, and crappy controls all make this horrible piece of... feces nowhere NEAR worth you time. You know, I've had it with this game. See you next week in my next review!