Hello sexy gamers. Today I would like to chat about this abomination. I'm joking I actually like the game. It's the original Super Mario Bros. For the NES. Yes.

This is really the game that made Nintendo a giant. Mario is probably the best known video game character and franchise in the entire world and this game catapulted it all. It's the classic platformer game, the platformer of platformers. The ultimate platformer? Maybe. Perhaps.

Personally I haven't played it as much as other people probably have. Most of my experience comes from playing the game because of the Minecraft server competition in which we race through custom made scaled levels of Super Mario Bros. Practice I guess, or just trying to find the stupid patterns in teleport levels.

Graphics - 7/10

Look it's the NES. The graphics are definitely not bad. Despite its age the game isn't jarring to look at, it has a very retro look to it now that sees enough appreciation. However to call it an artistic masterpiece seems a bit far fetched. It gets the job done, the pallets work well for the stages they're used for. There's a grassy pallet, a cave pallet, a water pallet, a sky pallet and a castle pallet. With only 4 levels in each world that is all you need to have every level look unique. The core of the game lies in the gameplay itself though. Stunning graphics would only distract the player when playing a platformer. I have minor complaints. The sprites don't overlap with the hitboxes of entities, so it's often hard to judge if you're going to kill an enemy or get hurt. Also the hammers that hammer bros throw can sometimes literally be invisible to the naked eye. That or I'm blind.

Sound - 9/10

I love the sounds for this game. Very 8bit, very oldschool, very fitting. The classic mario tunes for damage, death, swimming etc all originate here. Again the sound isn't the main focus of this game. They didn't go crazy with it but it's very addicting to just jump and speedrun a level like crazy and hear all the jumping noises you're making as you ninja your way over and under enemies.

Addictive - 9/10

There's something about the simplicity in Mario Bros that makes it very easy to replay the games. Normally with a platformer I'd play through it once and then be done with it mostly. Mario Bros is so quick though that you don't get stuck in stages for longer than two minutes most of the time, and it's one of the most famous games for speedrunning. Trying to beat your own best time for completing the game is rewarding and fun at the same time. Maybe frustrating if you don't get a new personal best, but that gets used as fuel to do better the next attempt.

Story - 1/10

I mean come on. The princess gets captured by Bowser and you have to save her. You get to the castle at the end of the world only to have some mushroom idiot tell you she's in a different castle. Repeat until you finally get it right on your 8th attempt. It's a platformer so it's okay not to really have a story. It set the precedent for all future Mario games and despite attempts to throw in some twists it has mostly remained that way for all of the franchise.

Depth - 7/10

The game isn't that big. There are 8 worlds to go through, each having 4 levels. Usually a grassy level, a cave or water level, a sky level and a castle level with a boss fight. If my math is on point that makes for 32 levels in total. When you keep in mind that each of these is only a minute long most of the time and you don't exactly have a long game. By today's standards. I'm sure it was short even for the NES back in the day but it wasn't as glaring compared to some RPGs nowadays that go for over 100.

Difficulty - 9/10

I'll be honest I underestimated this game. The fact that you only get three lives and there aren't many opportunities to get more makes it rather difficult. Copied with the fact that when you run out of lives you go all the way back to the first level. There is a little cheat you can do to instead go back to the first level of the world you were in, but it's still a good setback. Especially since it's really easy to miscalculate your jumps or barely touch an enemy or hammer that is somehow randomly in the wrong place at the wrong time. Some stages like 8-1 are rather long and have some nasty leap of faith jumps you have to nail to beat the level. The fact that you go back to small Mario after being hit once when carrying a fire flower means you can only survive one hit before dying.

Gameplay - 7/10

Unofficial category, the gameplay in this game was. Not as good as I'd have hoped, to be honest. To begin the game feels very slippery. When you gain horizontal momentum and try to come to a halt, Mario will slip on the floor in such a way that you often end up getting hit by something because of it. The hitboxes and sprites not overlapping also mean you can't really judge how to safely get past enemies, and I had some glitches throughout as well (double bullet bills, one up blocks not working, etc). Swimming was also horrendous for me. The bloopers are so annoying to dodge, and in 2-2 the last one was literally camping the pipe to the flagpole, forcing me to have to restart the world. It's an old game, there are bound to be glitches, but some core mechanics did kind of turn me off a little bit. Nothing too major though. I do hate how you can't run back to the left. If you miss a mushroom block it's gone for good.

Overall - 8.5/10

I think Mario Bros is a very solid game. It's a classic, a fun platformer, especially playing alongside a friend or something. It's just so easy to randomly get a little Mario itch and boot up the game. There are things weighing it down and I'd argue there are some better Mario platformers out there that will still fill that retro feel but come with better gameplay. Still, the OG remains the OG.