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xxeliza321xx
11-30-17 01:20 PM
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Just wondering about why I get so few responses from former classmates and how I can get more

 

11-30-17 01:20 PM
xxeliza321xx is Offline
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So I went through my old elementary school photos and belongings here at home recently and thought of some old classmates who I am not on social media with these days. I tried to find them on social media but felt overwhelmed because they have common names and so many people came up on Facebook with the same names.

I did some Google, Whitepages, and Pipl searches for them, got addresses (I would gladly tell these people that's how I got their addresses if they asked!), and sent some letters in the mail to these people to ask about how they are doing, tell them about what I have been up to these days, and to tell them that I wish to catch up.

I always pay extra for tracking so I can make sure these letters get delivered and leave my contact information on them too so people know where they can reach me at, but I've only gotten like 3 responses out of the about 10 people I've lost touch with. What gives? How can I increase my chances of getting more responses?

I'd love to hear from an old classmate, if I was on the receiving side of this!

I found some phone numbers too, saved them, but didn't call because I do not like calling & I have some phone anxiety, especially in situations like this, but if you think calling is the better way to go, ok, fine, I will call.
So I went through my old elementary school photos and belongings here at home recently and thought of some old classmates who I am not on social media with these days. I tried to find them on social media but felt overwhelmed because they have common names and so many people came up on Facebook with the same names.

I did some Google, Whitepages, and Pipl searches for them, got addresses (I would gladly tell these people that's how I got their addresses if they asked!), and sent some letters in the mail to these people to ask about how they are doing, tell them about what I have been up to these days, and to tell them that I wish to catch up.

I always pay extra for tracking so I can make sure these letters get delivered and leave my contact information on them too so people know where they can reach me at, but I've only gotten like 3 responses out of the about 10 people I've lost touch with. What gives? How can I increase my chances of getting more responses?

I'd love to hear from an old classmate, if I was on the receiving side of this!

I found some phone numbers too, saved them, but didn't call because I do not like calling & I have some phone anxiety, especially in situations like this, but if you think calling is the better way to go, ok, fine, I will call.
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(edited by xxeliza321xx on 11-30-17 01:26 PM)    

11-30-17 06:00 PM
Ghostbear1111 is Offline
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I walk you through this from my standpoint:

I had a friend from elementary school named Josh something or other.  I haven't seen him since 5th grade, 20+ years ago or so.  I have no idea where he moved to, what he's doing with his life, any of it.  Is he alive?  Maybe?  who knows?

Now, I get a piece of mail in my mailbox, with my address, and my name and it's from this guy.  I don't remember anything about him except vague memories.  We have no connections. 

And he knows where I lived and sent certified mail to me.

I won't lie, that's concerning to me.  Someone made all this effort to reach out and for what exactly? 

I'm curious, what did you put in the letters to them?  Would you write down your messages for us so we can see what you said?
I walk you through this from my standpoint:

I had a friend from elementary school named Josh something or other.  I haven't seen him since 5th grade, 20+ years ago or so.  I have no idea where he moved to, what he's doing with his life, any of it.  Is he alive?  Maybe?  who knows?

Now, I get a piece of mail in my mailbox, with my address, and my name and it's from this guy.  I don't remember anything about him except vague memories.  We have no connections. 

And he knows where I lived and sent certified mail to me.

I won't lie, that's concerning to me.  Someone made all this effort to reach out and for what exactly? 

I'm curious, what did you put in the letters to them?  Would you write down your messages for us so we can see what you said?
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11-30-17 06:15 PM
RDay13 is Offline
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Assuming the age on your profile is correct, it's likely been more than 10 years since you completed elementary school. Quite frankly, if you didn't keep in touch with these people after that during middle school and high school, there's a good chance they might not even remember you. Heck, I just finished elementary school 5 years ago and I couldn't name half of my classmates from 5th grade without looking at a yearbook. 

You're disappointed that only 3 people got back to you, but that's not bad at all. The brutal truth is, even if you would write back to old classmates, that doesn't mean they are going to do the same nor does it mean they are obliged to do the same. Could you tell us how long it has been? Maybe some people saw it, intend on replying, but just do not have time right now and will reply in the near future. Maybe they just don't care. Maybe they forgot about you. Maybe they think you're creepy for finding out where they live after all these years. I agree with Ghostbear, it would help if you told us, roughly, what you said in the letters. 

You say you have phone numbers, do you know if they're home phone or cellphones? There's a pretty good chance it's a cell, so why not shoot them a text? That kills the phone anxiety that you have and also gives them an easier way to reply if they choose to do so. 

Regardless, good luck with this, and if nothing else, I hope you can maybe rekindle the friendships with the 3 classmates that did get back to you. 
Assuming the age on your profile is correct, it's likely been more than 10 years since you completed elementary school. Quite frankly, if you didn't keep in touch with these people after that during middle school and high school, there's a good chance they might not even remember you. Heck, I just finished elementary school 5 years ago and I couldn't name half of my classmates from 5th grade without looking at a yearbook. 

You're disappointed that only 3 people got back to you, but that's not bad at all. The brutal truth is, even if you would write back to old classmates, that doesn't mean they are going to do the same nor does it mean they are obliged to do the same. Could you tell us how long it has been? Maybe some people saw it, intend on replying, but just do not have time right now and will reply in the near future. Maybe they just don't care. Maybe they forgot about you. Maybe they think you're creepy for finding out where they live after all these years. I agree with Ghostbear, it would help if you told us, roughly, what you said in the letters. 

You say you have phone numbers, do you know if they're home phone or cellphones? There's a pretty good chance it's a cell, so why not shoot them a text? That kills the phone anxiety that you have and also gives them an easier way to reply if they choose to do so. 

Regardless, good luck with this, and if nothing else, I hope you can maybe rekindle the friendships with the 3 classmates that did get back to you. 
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12-01-17 10:07 AM
xxeliza321xx is Offline
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Thanks. And yeah, I agree with the fact that they aren't obligated they aren't obligated to reply, so I didn't expect a 10/10. And I did them in groups, some a while back (that was when the 3 responses were), and two more recently, one three days ago and another two days ago. Here's a sample, minus the contact information:

Dear Gina,

Thank you for taking the time to open this letter. I hope this letter finds you well. This is your classmate, Eliza (Vizzed.com - insert last name here), from PS 78. I am writing because I want to catch up with you. I just graduated from Hunter College in August with a B.A. in Women and Gender Studies and a minor in Political Science. These days, I have been looking for a full-time, entry-level position in Human Resources, ideally in Manhattan. I have gotten lots of interviews, but no offers!
I also have been playing Pokémon Go. I am on Team Mystic, on level 40, finally! I never thought I would get this far in the game, but I have, and feel very proud of myself! I just caught a Ho-Oh and have it as my buddy! What about you? What have you been up to? How are you doing? I hope all is well! My contact information is as follows:
Phone (both texts and calls are welcome):
Email:
Instagram:
Facebook:

*Vizzed.com - I left all of my contact details above, but omitted it and my last name from my post here for my privacy

Hope to Hear from You Soon,

Eliza (Vizzed.com - insert last name here)
Thanks. And yeah, I agree with the fact that they aren't obligated they aren't obligated to reply, so I didn't expect a 10/10. And I did them in groups, some a while back (that was when the 3 responses were), and two more recently, one three days ago and another two days ago. Here's a sample, minus the contact information:

Dear Gina,

Thank you for taking the time to open this letter. I hope this letter finds you well. This is your classmate, Eliza (Vizzed.com - insert last name here), from PS 78. I am writing because I want to catch up with you. I just graduated from Hunter College in August with a B.A. in Women and Gender Studies and a minor in Political Science. These days, I have been looking for a full-time, entry-level position in Human Resources, ideally in Manhattan. I have gotten lots of interviews, but no offers!
I also have been playing Pokémon Go. I am on Team Mystic, on level 40, finally! I never thought I would get this far in the game, but I have, and feel very proud of myself! I just caught a Ho-Oh and have it as my buddy! What about you? What have you been up to? How are you doing? I hope all is well! My contact information is as follows:
Phone (both texts and calls are welcome):
Email:
Instagram:
Facebook:

*Vizzed.com - I left all of my contact details above, but omitted it and my last name from my post here for my privacy

Hope to Hear from You Soon,

Eliza (Vizzed.com - insert last name here)
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12-19-17 11:07 PM
Oldschool777 is Offline
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Eliza,let me ask you something,is it really what you want? You and your former friends have grown apart and changed and maybe not for the better, You may not recognize them,they may not recognize you in either appearance,attitude,or lifestyle.I think you still believe they are the same person you remember.
Eliza,let me ask you something,is it really what you want? You and your former friends have grown apart and changed and maybe not for the better, You may not recognize them,they may not recognize you in either appearance,attitude,or lifestyle.I think you still believe they are the same person you remember.
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12-20-17 04:50 AM
pacN is Offline
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Hello OP.

I know what you're saying and honestly I don't have a good answer for you. Let me tell you why.

I am on the other side of the coin.

Primary school, Elementary School and High School. I haven't seen or heard anything from my class mates at the time in 5-12+ years.

We have different interests, we went on to do different things in life. We evolved, we met new people. That's kind of how life goes and I have 0 interest to catch up with them if I'm being honest. I have new friends who knows me a lot better than my former class mates.

I someone sent me a letter I would definitely read it but I would not respond.

Not saying everyone has this mindset but these are my thoughts on the situation.

Hello OP.

I know what you're saying and honestly I don't have a good answer for you. Let me tell you why.

I am on the other side of the coin.

Primary school, Elementary School and High School. I haven't seen or heard anything from my class mates at the time in 5-12+ years.

We have different interests, we went on to do different things in life. We evolved, we met new people. That's kind of how life goes and I have 0 interest to catch up with them if I'm being honest. I have new friends who knows me a lot better than my former class mates.

I someone sent me a letter I would definitely read it but I would not respond.

Not saying everyone has this mindset but these are my thoughts on the situation.

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(edited by pacN on 12-20-17 04:52 AM)    

12-24-17 08:48 AM
xxeliza321xx is Offline
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xxeliza321xx
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Thanks for the replies! And yeah, the people who did respond were those I was closest to.
Thanks for the replies! And yeah, the people who did respond were those I was closest to.
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