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Your thoughts on marriage?


02-12-17 04:38 AM
Ultrajeff is Offline
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To many, marriage is seen as very important and firm. It requires lots of meticulous planning and lasts a lifetime. Others prefer not to get married, seeing how they like their privacy, or they might have a lack of interest. Joyous and blissful, or dull and boring? What's your opinion?
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02-12-17 08:10 AM
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I think a large number of people, especially young ones, view marriage as a way to fix things or to make something better. I've been married 11 years and I can say that it's hard work and it makes a strong relationship even stronger. I've seen enough of the negative side to know marriage isn't for everyone at the time and it effectively destroys okay or struggling relationships. It's like having a baby; it doesn't fix anything and it's a lot harder to execute after it's over.

The other problem I have with some people's view of marriage is they're so excited about the wedding, they want the party and the wedding and the attention, and they forget about the following 40 years. It's like the moment is more important than either the person their with or whatever comes next. American culture makes weddings out to be the best day in the life of specifically a woman and it seems like whoever is standing up there with her is hopefully her friend. It's never about the groom.

It should be.

Marriage is hard work, it's effort, and it gets your hands dirty. But when you step back after the effort, it's a beautiful thing. I wouldn't trade my marriage for anything and I wouldn't trade my wife for anyone.
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02-12-17 08:22 PM
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Disclaimer I do not mean to be offensive. But as a Christian my view of marriage is probably different than others on here. 

To me marriage is supposed to be from God when one falls in love. However, Marriage is a commitment. The man and woman should be equal in the marriage not one superior than the other. A marriage should be a life long commitment and an effort on both sides. Men and Women should be treated with respect in a healthy marriage. God should also be first in the marriage. 

So many times marriages fall apart mainly due to adultery and abuse. So many times it seems people want to marry but once they are married they want the fun and games as we call it. That is not what God intended. Even if you are not religious adultery is wrong. Abuse is very wrong too and comes from one feeling like they are superior over the other one. I have some friends who have a significant other but are not married. I remember their reasoning why they did not get married. To them they were afraid of commitment. One of my friends told me that if it didn't work out they could just leave. Some also see marriage as just a piece of paper and nothing more. I hear that from a lot of younger folks 
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02-12-17 08:54 PM
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I am not religious at all. But I think marriage is sacred. It is supposed to be the merging of two lives to one. A marriage is not to be taken lightly,is not be a quick fix,is not to be done as a sham. Now I will irritate a lot of people by saying it is supposed to be the union of a man and a woman. Think of me what you will.

Marriage is a lifetime contract and back in the day,people took that seriously. The part at the end of the wedding where they say "Till death,do you part?" they meant it. They did not break up over constant arguing. They did not break up over money. People today always want an easy way out. Marriage means you are to stay faithful to the one you chose. You work together to solve issues. If one is weak,the other compensates. That is one of the reasons I do respect those much older than myself. They were willing to stick it out,to make it work. They did not whine and complain. No sir,they rolled up their sleeves,spat on their hands and got to work.
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04-05-17 10:39 PM
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Considering my age and experience, or rather, the lack thereof, my opinions of marriage probably aren't very well qualified. They're also likely subject to change over the next decade or so. That said, I don't have a very favorable view of marriage. The party and all the expensive flair and the gold ring and the presents and all the show and ritual all hits me as being extremely shallow and phony. And I really, really dislike shallow, phony people. I don't really think the ceremony really means anything, and signing the document just means you file your taxes together. You can be committed to someone in spirit without having to walk down an isle in a tuxedo. I've also never been witness to a successful marriage. My parents are a catastrophe but my dad is so caught up in the "love" crap that he won't do anything about it, my neighbor's gone through one divorce and is in the middle of another, meanwhile, she's been through several "friends", my aunt basically ran my uncle into the grave and he was so much of a sap that he let her do it to him... I have not personally seen a single successful case. Part of me hopes I never, ever fall in love because everything I've seen says it's the beginning of the end of your life and the death of any and all of your potential. That, however, is just the anecdotal account of a 20 year old kid, so I may yet change my tune. I just know I'm not ready for it. Not even close.
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04-06-17 06:14 AM
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m0ssb3rg935 : See, you're completely right about your opinions.

What you're talking about is the wedding, not the marriage. The wedding is a day long, a big party, and it's supposed to be fun, over-the-top, and that's that.

The marriage is what happens the next 30, 40, 50 or more years. That's the part people tend to forget about when they get engaged. They focus on the wedding, and they focus on the party, not the next portion.

I have been married almost 11 years. My wife and have had shared experiences with each other and we're happy with each other. Like the post you wrote about for relationships, we have that. We have mutual concern for each other, we take care of each other, we have strong emotional bonds, and it's not just a purely sexual, physical relationship. That sort of thing won't survive marriage. There has to be more to the story.

But you're a young guy. There's plenty of time to change your mind. And it is okay if you don't change your mind. Nothing anywhere says you have to be married and the way American culture is headed, marriage might end up being contracted, like sports teams, where you have a 3 year contract with someone, see how it goes, and either renegotiate or waive the contract and keep moving.

We'll see.
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05-03-17 10:55 AM
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m0ssb3rg935 : My view on marriage was roughly the same as yours from watching my parents as I grew up. I decided that I never wanted to be reliant on a man (to the point where I'm fiercely independent and have great difficulty in asking for help). I remember in highschool, I took a Home Economics class and the first day we had to design our wedding - I dropped out later that day lol.

Watching my best friend during her engagement has changed my views on it. They've been engaged for about 4 years now, while saving for the wedding (they also bought a home). They've had some tough times, but worked through it which was really inspiring to watch.

Personally, I'd rather hold off until I knew for sure that it'd work out with the person. Divorces are expensive and messy.
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06-03-17 08:01 PM
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Marriage is what people do when they want to restrict themselves to the one thing that will supposedly enrich their life greatly.

I don't see it that way. I see it as restrictive for both people. I don't think that anyone absolutely needs a single certain person to be happy, so I don't see why the point in being married.

They also would get married to have kids. I don't want to have kids, at least those are my current thoughts. So I'm not interested.
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06-04-17 01:38 PM
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I really hope this isn't weird and I haven't really given marriage much thought, but....I think I want a kinda abusive wife? I mean she doesn't like have to be hitting on me and everything XD, but I just don't want her to be afraid of me, ya know? I want her to feel like she can put me in my place if she has to. Of course, being the man of the family, I want and feel like it's my responsibility to take care and be in charge of the household, but I really wouldn't mind if my wife was a little rebellious...if that makes sense! I want us to have really just to twins that I would name after girls that left an impact on my life, Angie and Amira. The crazy part is that I want us to have another child after that (it doesn't matter if it's a boy or a girl) and I want to name it Kendall, a protagonist from a story I am that weird??

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(edited by PoptartSlayerXD on 06-04-17 01:39 PM)    

06-04-17 09:55 PM
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I'm far from religious but I think it's nice as a public celebration of the love two people hold for each other. I think it's a pity that's not how most people seem to see it though often getting married out of tradition or otherwise feeling forced to because of social pressures. Marriages have a bad reputation with some but it doesn't have to be that way. I would like to get married some day but I am in no rush to do so as I'd hope the person I marry actually does end up being the one I spend the rest of my life with.
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(edited by Zlinqx on 06-04-17 10:12 PM)     Post Rating: 2   Liked By: no 8120, Yuna1000,

06-05-17 08:01 AM
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Marriage might be the only reason I'm still going right now. I have no idea where I'd be if I never met my wife. All throughout high school I thought that "Man, I'm never getting married" or "I'll never meet anyone like that." Well I was wrong...I was VERY wrong. Now I have a house and 2 cars that are fully paid off when back then, I wasn't sure what I was going to do.

My point is I think you should try and do it if you ever get a chance. You get to spend your life with someone else instead of being alone. Plus, everything is practically 50% off in your life. You split the payment, mortgage, bills, etc.

I'm glad I went through with it.
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06-05-17 08:38 AM
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I think marriage is a life time commitment that many are not ready for. I know too many married couples who definitely have no issues with cheating and lying. I view marriage as an agreement to be together forever and not be with anyone else- that's the last person you choose to be with.
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07-05-17 02:44 AM
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I think that marriage is a great thing! No one can get through life all by themselves and be happy, it's just not possible. It's always a magical thing when you find someone that you click with so well that you just want to be with them always! sure, this does not happen to everyone, but to the people who do find this true love you really don't want to be apart from them, and marriage is like a promise that is really hard (and expensive) to break, that you can make with someone to say that you will be with them every step of the way. It's magical really!

Plus, it does have some practical reasons too, like tax benefits, and if you marry someone from another country you can help them become a citizen much easier (Sometimes.... I can rant about that for hours but I won't)

I Hope that I'll be able to get married some day, although with the way things are going right now in the world of politics I may end up losing that right unfortunately.....
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07-06-17 01:29 AM
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Being Christian, marriage to me is required in order to have kids, so I believe it's pretty important, but it doesn't have to be extremely fancy or anything, just enough for both people to enjoy it, make their promises, and be happy.
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10-14-17 05:19 PM
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There's always reports and things in the news saying divorce, divorce, divorce!

That's why some people come to a consensus that marriage is a fake idolization of showing some love. And it my opinion, it kinda is.

Is shoving a ring on some's finger supposed to designate love? Is it supposed to give a full truth to a relationship? No, of course not. It just doesn't help.

Oh well, at least we have some sort of nature in marriage, I guess it is a long time tradition.
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10-20-17 06:52 PM
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10-22-17 11:24 PM
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As of right now, I am not interested in marriage. Is that subject to change later in life? Not likely, but it's possible. While I don't think I couldn't handle a marriage, I don't want to get married for the wrong reasons. To be honest, marriage requires an enormous amount of commitment and change in lifestyle that I don't think I'd be comfortable with. Often times marriage can put friend and family relationships at risk and can also lead to the risk of leaning on one individual for every emotional need. There's also always the possibility of children as well, which isn't something I want for reasons I'd rather not go into now.

Overall, I'm not interested in marriage right now and I doubt my view on it will change with time. I'm perfectly content with being single and enjoying the strong connections I have with my friends and family now. I'm not sure why staying single is often frowned upon or met with concern in today's times, but I find it to be the best option for me as someone that doesn't have an interest in getting married.
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10-23-17 06:52 PM
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I've been single all my life, so it's not a plan for the near future, but I do think of getting married to the one I love, if I ever found her.

To me, marriage is taking a step forward on your relationship, it means solidifying a bond and creating a union that will (or technically should) last forever. It's a sign you don't want to let that person go and share all your life alongside them. Once you know they're the one, once you know you can take it one step further and stay together until game over (gaming site puns, folks), you think of taking the step of marriage.

That being said, I don't see myself getting married for a long while. I'd first need to find love, which is very difficult for different reasons I'll keep to myself, then spend a decent amount of time together before I even think on taking a step forward. I want to make sure she's how I want my lifelong companion to be, otherwise we're good as just a couple. That's what I've taken from my parents' marriage, or better said their relationship, for they married when I was already a kid and it hasn't been the happiest of endings.

I also don't discard staying single, though I admit I'd like, and actually dream of, having a stable relationship with someone. I've been a lone wolf all my life, but life showed me how valuable bonds are and now I'm enticed to create and preserve as much of them as I can. I don't think I'll feel real love because I'm a bit odd about emotions, but I know when I feel like staying with someone or when I don't want certain moments to end.
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I am single, and I am young, so I shouldn't be thinking of this much, but I do anyways.

I think marriage is a beautiful thing if done right. If you love that person with all your heart and want to spend the rest of your life together, and make your relationship official, then go for it. If they really are the one for you, and you want to get married, sure, it is awesome.

However, if this was supposed to be a one-night fling, and it turned out that you would be a jerk if you just left so you stayed anyways, then maybe marriage is not for you two, but if it was supposed to be a one night fling and you just fell in love, then yeah, it is great.

I do not think you should get married until you have a job capable of taking care of two people, aka make enough money for two people to live comfortably off of. Even if both of you have jobs, one of you could be come injured. You should also have at least six months savings in the bank (of course, all of this is just my opinion).

Marriage is one of the best things you can have if you go about it properly.

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01-04-18 07:01 PM
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My thoughts on marriage are a bit negative and here is why.

For one, I can't seem to keep a woman longer then a month or two. This means the chances of any sort of marriage working out for me is a 100% failure rate. Even though I don't have money I'd probably want some sort of prenup involved because I think it's unfair for the woman to plunder her ex husband for everything he's got.
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