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Have you ever held a grudge?

 

08-02-16 04:54 AM
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Sometimes, we become quite mad over something. When that happens, we might initially try to brush it off. However, when it keeps happening, we might begin to hold a grudge. Sometimes we might realize how silly it is, and let go of it to move on in life. At other times, we don't let go of it and remember it forever, constantly reminding that person of what he or she did, never truly gaining ground. Grudges might lead to aggression, displeasure, and more. It's just frightening.

Have you ever held a grudge? Did you get over it eventually? Thanks for seeing this thread through.
Sometimes, we become quite mad over something. When that happens, we might initially try to brush it off. However, when it keeps happening, we might begin to hold a grudge. Sometimes we might realize how silly it is, and let go of it to move on in life. At other times, we don't let go of it and remember it forever, constantly reminding that person of what he or she did, never truly gaining ground. Grudges might lead to aggression, displeasure, and more. It's just frightening.

Have you ever held a grudge? Did you get over it eventually? Thanks for seeing this thread through.
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(edited by Ultrajeff on 08-02-16 04:54 AM)    

08-02-16 05:31 AM
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Yes that I know of because I have experienced it. I think its a nature of how I got it from someone not sure from my mother, or from my father. I at times have it I do my best not to hold in that grudge. It depends on the type of damage and hurt you get from it. I have to say even if it sounds silly in a way people would have a good reason to keep it. There are also those who have it, but don't have a good reason to keep it. If you are really good at making sure the grudges don't change you then it won't be a problem. Not everyone can control it as you explain it will lead to things that will make you feel more different, and even to change as well. '-'
Yes that I know of because I have experienced it. I think its a nature of how I got it from someone not sure from my mother, or from my father. I at times have it I do my best not to hold in that grudge. It depends on the type of damage and hurt you get from it. I have to say even if it sounds silly in a way people would have a good reason to keep it. There are also those who have it, but don't have a good reason to keep it. If you are really good at making sure the grudges don't change you then it won't be a problem. Not everyone can control it as you explain it will lead to things that will make you feel more different, and even to change as well. '-'
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08-02-16 08:53 AM
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Yeah, I have had a few grudges before. I usually let go of them pretty quickly. Although some grudges I still have some work on doing before I can say I'm officially over it. I don't like to keep grudges though.
Yeah, I have had a few grudges before. I usually let go of them pretty quickly. Although some grudges I still have some work on doing before I can say I'm officially over it. I don't like to keep grudges though.
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08-02-16 10:40 AM
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Yes, I have held grudges before. I usually hold them for a while as well, but eventually if I realize that I was in the wrong or if the other person has done things to amend the wrong then I let it go.

I don't like holding grudges though, so I'm trying not to have them as often.
Yes, I have held grudges before. I usually hold them for a while as well, but eventually if I realize that I was in the wrong or if the other person has done things to amend the wrong then I let it go.

I don't like holding grudges though, so I'm trying not to have them as often.
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08-02-16 01:17 PM
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No I haven't. Life is too short to hold grudges in my book. I dislike certain things people do but it doesn't bog me down at all.
No I haven't. Life is too short to hold grudges in my book. I dislike certain things people do but it doesn't bog me down at all.
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08-06-16 12:41 AM
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Yes, I have held many grudges in my time. 

I used to hold grudges against people for the slightest social infraction that I perceived, such as cutting in line or looking at me the wrong way. I would define my entire social circle around it. Then I realized I needed to stop with all of this petty trash and focus on the good in people rather than making wild assumptions based off of the little bad I saw.
Yes, I have held many grudges in my time. 

I used to hold grudges against people for the slightest social infraction that I perceived, such as cutting in line or looking at me the wrong way. I would define my entire social circle around it. Then I realized I needed to stop with all of this petty trash and focus on the good in people rather than making wild assumptions based off of the little bad I saw.
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08-09-16 09:00 AM
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Yes, I have held grudges before. I don't really hold grudges for something small or trivial, unless it's something really annoying or frustrating and it happens over and over. I'm a pretty loyal person; if you help me out and stuff I will stand by you. If you hurt me badly or repeatedly, I tend to hold grudges. In that way, I'm kind of like a golden retriever . I tend to stop holding the grudge if the person sincerely apologizes or I feel like I did something wrong too. I feel like I have a few issues in this department. First of all, I need to stop holding grudges in the first place, since it's not really a healthy way of dealing with tension and/or conflict. Second of all, I feel like I forgive and apologize people way too easily and sometimes they take advantage of that. 
Yes, I have held grudges before. I don't really hold grudges for something small or trivial, unless it's something really annoying or frustrating and it happens over and over. I'm a pretty loyal person; if you help me out and stuff I will stand by you. If you hurt me badly or repeatedly, I tend to hold grudges. In that way, I'm kind of like a golden retriever . I tend to stop holding the grudge if the person sincerely apologizes or I feel like I did something wrong too. I feel like I have a few issues in this department. First of all, I need to stop holding grudges in the first place, since it's not really a healthy way of dealing with tension and/or conflict. Second of all, I feel like I forgive and apologize people way too easily and sometimes they take advantage of that. 
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08-09-16 09:08 AM
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I've never held a grudge for a long time or didn't like someone for a single, specific act that happened or didn't happen.

But there are some people I avoid because of a long history of their continued actions.

One, for example, is an old boss of mine who I run into every so often at work functions. We're still in the same company so we see each other at high level meetings maybe once every other month.

He was close to firing me because we had distinct differences with our philosophies of business. He was pure business related and I believed in developing relationships and encouraging our membership base to have fun over paying bills. I believed in the long run we would succeed more because we'd prove we were out for the health and well-being of our people. He wanted checks and credit card numbers. Safe to say, I was rescued by a regional manager, given my own place, and I'm currently succeeding.

The guy just never gave anyone any credit, he didn't allow for much time off and he made a big deal when real life hit and people needed help. He wasn't interested in helping or developing his staff and he wasn't a good manager.

I don't have a grudge against him but I can't respect him personally or professionally so I stay as far away as possible. I don't think he's good at what he does and the numbers support that fact. He's not succeeding too well and my team is killing it and people love the place.

Grudge? Nope. Dislike and avoidance? Absolutely.
I've never held a grudge for a long time or didn't like someone for a single, specific act that happened or didn't happen.

But there are some people I avoid because of a long history of their continued actions.

One, for example, is an old boss of mine who I run into every so often at work functions. We're still in the same company so we see each other at high level meetings maybe once every other month.

He was close to firing me because we had distinct differences with our philosophies of business. He was pure business related and I believed in developing relationships and encouraging our membership base to have fun over paying bills. I believed in the long run we would succeed more because we'd prove we were out for the health and well-being of our people. He wanted checks and credit card numbers. Safe to say, I was rescued by a regional manager, given my own place, and I'm currently succeeding.

The guy just never gave anyone any credit, he didn't allow for much time off and he made a big deal when real life hit and people needed help. He wasn't interested in helping or developing his staff and he wasn't a good manager.

I don't have a grudge against him but I can't respect him personally or professionally so I stay as far away as possible. I don't think he's good at what he does and the numbers support that fact. He's not succeeding too well and my team is killing it and people love the place.

Grudge? Nope. Dislike and avoidance? Absolutely.
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08-25-16 11:14 AM
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Yes. I can hold a grudge for years. I know it is not healthy,but they annoyed/hurt me in some way and I would never do anything decent for that person again. I still hate this one jackhole I used to work with,I would still consider killing him at times.
Yes. I can hold a grudge for years. I know it is not healthy,but they annoyed/hurt me in some way and I would never do anything decent for that person again. I still hate this one jackhole I used to work with,I would still consider killing him at times.
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08-25-16 07:29 PM
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Nah, I'm too lazy to hold a grudge.
It's stupid anyways. Oh, this person made me feel bad/hurt me? Well instead of moving on I'll continue letting them hurt me by holding a grudge.
It's moronic to hold a grudge, seriously. I'm not saying you should forgive them, it depends on the situation of course, but honestly it just seems so, so inefficient to do so.
Nah, I'm too lazy to hold a grudge.
It's stupid anyways. Oh, this person made me feel bad/hurt me? Well instead of moving on I'll continue letting them hurt me by holding a grudge.
It's moronic to hold a grudge, seriously. I'm not saying you should forgive them, it depends on the situation of course, but honestly it just seems so, so inefficient to do so.
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08-25-16 09:26 PM
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I forgive, but I don't forget.

I don't really hold grudges, but I know who has wronged me in the past, and I don't give them multiple opportunities to do so.
I forgive, but I don't forget.

I don't really hold grudges, but I know who has wronged me in the past, and I don't give them multiple opportunities to do so.
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Honestly, I have a bit of a grudge on someone right now. It sucks, but I can't really let go of what he did to me.

So yeah, I somewhat hold grudges. I try not to, but sometimes, it's difficult if someone has done something awful to me.
Honestly, I have a bit of a grudge on someone right now. It sucks, but I can't really let go of what he did to me.

So yeah, I somewhat hold grudges. I try not to, but sometimes, it's difficult if someone has done something awful to me.
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There are indeed certain things I could hold my grudge about


I am autistic and if someone is to call me a retard because of that this could be something that I could refuse to forgive!!
There are indeed certain things I could hold my grudge about


I am autistic and if someone is to call me a retard because of that this could be something that I could refuse to forgive!!
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09-30-16 05:26 AM
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Awesome-Kid : I've always been curious about this. Does it make you happy to refuse to forgive them? Like, are you stronger and do you feel like you're taking control when you refuse forgiveness.

And lastly, do you feel like people can change and a 14 year old who calls you retarded can never realize their mistake?

Lastly, lastly, what happens if they apologize. Do you still refuse to forgive them?

Thanks for the answers. I'd love insight into how you think.
Awesome-Kid : I've always been curious about this. Does it make you happy to refuse to forgive them? Like, are you stronger and do you feel like you're taking control when you refuse forgiveness.

And lastly, do you feel like people can change and a 14 year old who calls you retarded can never realize their mistake?

Lastly, lastly, what happens if they apologize. Do you still refuse to forgive them?

Thanks for the answers. I'd love insight into how you think.
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09-30-16 06:31 AM
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Ghostbear1111 : Yeah I must say I am kinda sensitive about this when people this ignorant!! Making fun of my Autism can be something I just can't easily forgive!!


And yes there are kids who has nothing better to do, but yes I mean if a kid makes fun of me I would just ignore them, but if I happen to run into them when they are grown up and if they apologize then I'll probably accept their apology!!


And you know there are adults who obviously never grown up that get like that as well, and the way see it is that if those types of adults mock me from my Autism then they just can't come back from it, that is just how I feel!! But if they do happen apologize like 10-20 years after, then maybe I would accept their apology and yes I am aware that people can change!!


Thanks for the curiosity, have a good day!!
Ghostbear1111 : Yeah I must say I am kinda sensitive about this when people this ignorant!! Making fun of my Autism can be something I just can't easily forgive!!


And yes there are kids who has nothing better to do, but yes I mean if a kid makes fun of me I would just ignore them, but if I happen to run into them when they are grown up and if they apologize then I'll probably accept their apology!!


And you know there are adults who obviously never grown up that get like that as well, and the way see it is that if those types of adults mock me from my Autism then they just can't come back from it, that is just how I feel!! But if they do happen apologize like 10-20 years after, then maybe I would accept their apology and yes I am aware that people can change!!


Thanks for the curiosity, have a good day!!
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I'm too tired to care anymore but I held a grudge against my mother for a long time. She was a heavy alcohol and drug abuser in my childhood and that caused me to experience many events that a child should not have to go through. She stopped drinking when I was a teenager and it made me so mad that she refused to admit her wrongdoings and expected me and my brother to forgive her straight away. She's no longer with us so I've had no choice but to forgive her. I still have many things I haven't dealt with but it would've been easier if mom was still here to answer the many difficult questions that have been bothering me.
I'm too tired to care anymore but I held a grudge against my mother for a long time. She was a heavy alcohol and drug abuser in my childhood and that caused me to experience many events that a child should not have to go through. She stopped drinking when I was a teenager and it made me so mad that she refused to admit her wrongdoings and expected me and my brother to forgive her straight away. She's no longer with us so I've had no choice but to forgive her. I still have many things I haven't dealt with but it would've been easier if mom was still here to answer the many difficult questions that have been bothering me.
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10-01-16 10:03 AM
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Several in my lifetime, and I'm holding one right now. I was supposed to move furniture around with a nephew-in-law. At first he told me we could use his girlfriend's pickup truck. But then he called me the same day at 3 (we were supposed to meet at 4) to tell be that the truck has a camper in the trunk... So I had to reserve a truck for the next day, arrive late at work... and do the moving without him since he didn't even bother to CALL to tell me he either couldn't come or would be in later.

I lost all trust in that kid - he may be 20 but he surely doesn't act like it.
Several in my lifetime, and I'm holding one right now. I was supposed to move furniture around with a nephew-in-law. At first he told me we could use his girlfriend's pickup truck. But then he called me the same day at 3 (we were supposed to meet at 4) to tell be that the truck has a camper in the trunk... So I had to reserve a truck for the next day, arrive late at work... and do the moving without him since he didn't even bother to CALL to tell me he either couldn't come or would be in later.

I lost all trust in that kid - he may be 20 but he surely doesn't act like it.
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10-01-16 01:56 PM
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Yes. Many of which I still keep. I look at it this way,I was wronged and since it is illegal to beat the snot out of them or drown them,so I refuse to have anything to do with them. If I have gone x number of years before meeting them and I was okay,I can go the rest of my life without knowing them. Maybe I am just a callous and unfeeling jerk,but if I or my family are wronged,I want nothing to do with you.
Yes. Many of which I still keep. I look at it this way,I was wronged and since it is illegal to beat the snot out of them or drown them,so I refuse to have anything to do with them. If I have gone x number of years before meeting them and I was okay,I can go the rest of my life without knowing them. Maybe I am just a callous and unfeeling jerk,but if I or my family are wronged,I want nothing to do with you.
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10-01-16 10:42 PM
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I only hold a grudge against a friend who, knowing they fart in their sleep, had the audacity to sleep anywhere near me without warning me of the methane overdose I was going to experience that night. And also the laughing fits over the fact that he farts in his sleep.

Nah, I don't hold any real grudges. I'm naturally extremely forgiving, a lot more forgiving than I should be honestly. I guess nobody has done anything AWFUL to me either that would make me hold a grudge though.
I only hold a grudge against a friend who, knowing they fart in their sleep, had the audacity to sleep anywhere near me without warning me of the methane overdose I was going to experience that night. And also the laughing fits over the fact that he farts in his sleep.

Nah, I don't hold any real grudges. I'm naturally extremely forgiving, a lot more forgiving than I should be honestly. I guess nobody has done anything AWFUL to me either that would make me hold a grudge though.
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10-07-16 10:05 PM
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Some things cannot be changed.
Some things cannot be forgiven.
Especially if you don't have it in your heart to forgive.

Yes, I have some grudges. Is it a big deal? No, because they're never about serious things. Usually just petty little things that I'm being childish about. I'm admitting this because I value honesty
Some things cannot be changed.
Some things cannot be forgiven.
Especially if you don't have it in your heart to forgive.

Yes, I have some grudges. Is it a big deal? No, because they're never about serious things. Usually just petty little things that I'm being childish about. I'm admitting this because I value honesty
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