Children under 13

"Sarah stopped talking to me! What did I do wrong? We were best friends! What do I do?"

"Oh, don't worry, child. Give her some time alone then ask her politely what the problem is. I'm sure you'll be able to reason it out."

Everyone then proceeds to comfort her and give her advice on how to resolve her issue.

Children 13 or above

"Nancy just walks away whenever I try to talk to her! What's happened all of a sudden? Now I'm always either angry or sad! Please help!"

"Kid, quit whining. You haven't seen anything yet, trust me. Friends come and go, but do you realize how silly your complaining sounds to us, who have had to go through WAY more than you? It gets tougher when you're older. I suggest you pipe down and appreciate how easy it is to be your age. At least you still have support from your parents. At least you go to school and have friends. It amazes me at how sensitive and spoiled teenagers are these days. They always, ALWAYS find something to rant about, and they don't appreciate their parents at all. Sheesh... Just be happy, kid. It isn't that hard."

^ What the HELL was that?

Oh, of course. Be happy. Because utterly unrelated replies telling you to be quiet because some people have it worse will totally bring a smile to your face.

Seriously ?

I know this is going to end up being called another "typical teen rant" and make a lot of people's eyes roll but, my goodness...

What is it with this obsession some people have with the idea that teenagers who complain are spoiled brats? 

When dealing with younger children, however, they sweetly help them and give them actually meaningful advice instead of a waste of words telling them that their problems are small and unimportant compared to those happening to older people.

It baffles me.

How come people under 13 who complain or get sad are "poor, little children who need some help", and children 13 or above who complain or get sad are "whiny, ranting teenagers who think their problems are more important than everyone else's"? 

What? How can such different reactions be generated from essentially identical questions? 

If someone needs help, help him or her. Period. 

True, there are some people who unnecessarily go "uuugh, my mom won't let me date, and I'm thirteen, and life is so unfair, and why are my parents so strict, and uuugh, help", but this is the problem - 

Teens who voice polite and logical complaints or questions about how to resolve growing-up social problems and whatnot are immediately treated the EXACT same way as the ones who go "uuugh" just because they are teenagers.

I'm sorry, but if you let you let your common sense drop that low PLUS allow yourself to come across as mean and snappy to a kid who's just looking for help and tell him or her that his or her problems don't matter, then it's you who needs to do some growing up.

Teenagers have the right to complain just as much as a child or adult does. They're figuring things out in life, so why don't people help them instead of telling them their problems are invalid? 

It's horrible. 

I swear, it's almost as though BEING 13-18 is a crime to some people...

NintendoFanKimmy, out!~

Oh man, do I know this! It seems as if almost every time I get some huge rant from my parents telling me how "The have it worse than me, I shouldn't complain" or "Just get over yourself" or those huge rants that you almost perfectly abridged.
I don't understand why, as a younger person, you're not allowed to have problems. I guess we can call this a "typical teenage rant". Don't get me wrong, my parents are great! But listening is basically their only problem.

Normally I'd just read, like, then leave. But this one hit a little too close to home.

I must have incredibly great parents, because that rarely happened to me! And I've been a teenager for almost 2 years! Usually whenever I have a problem that I know I should get parental help for, I tell my parents right away. They usually just cut to the chase and come up with multiple solutions. They're a lot smarter than what you said in your example, and they understand that it can be really hard to be a teenager and it can be almost as hard as being an adult.

It's OK for us teenagers to be spoiled as long as we behave ourselves. Sometimes we need to be spoiled because of how much we grow and how many issues we go through. It seems that most teenagers are in relationships and struggle with them. If they don't struggle with them then they aren't taking their relationships as seriously as they should.

It might actually be easier to be an adult because by then you've usually matured a lot and you know a lot more. However, when you're a teenager is when the maturing takes place. Sure, you tend to face more problems as an adult (such as taxes, jobs, family issues, and much more) but by the time you're an adult, they're usually easier to handle, especially if you've been through so much trouble as a teenager.

It worries me that some parents are that strict with their teens because that can cause the teens to hide their problems, which would make things even worse. At least teenagers can share their problems with each other, which might actually be better since they understand each other easier

A lot of times, I should've shared problems with my parents, but for some reason I only told friends of mine about those problems. My friends were such a big help and they always understood so I'm glad I talked to them about those problems!

PacmanandMariofan : Yeah, it really is horrid that parents like that actually exist. Thank God mine are awesome!

True, I was talking about people who don't take teenagers as seriously as they should, parents included, but I was mainly complaining (*ahem,* I mean "whining" ) about online advice-givers xD. 

Seriously, some of the Yahoo Answers people are absolutely ridiculous when "answering" questions teens ask.

Anyway, thanks for the reply !~ And sorry I forgot to summon you!

First thing to note: Don't ever go to Yahoo Answers for advice. That place is so populated with trolls and jerks that it's not worth it.

Second: It all boils down to ageism. Older people  tend to think teenagers are all brats 100% of the time for some reason, even the ones who are polite. I think some of it may be because teens are more prone to blowing up when they get frustrated, but that's more due to hormones going wonky than anything (been there) and not a real personality quirk.  I will say that teens in general seem to think they know everything... (again, BEEN THERE) and it can be off-putting to an adult who is trying to help with complaints and the like? My sister -- who is 15 -- does it to me all the time and yes, I get frustrated with her when she won't listen, says she knows better, and continues to complain instead of trying the things I have offered to her. I know  I sometimes did the same thing to Mom -- after all, I wasn't a perfect little angel as a teen --  so it's just coming back to me now, but it is frustrating. So there's that point of view on both sides.

Still, though, it's mostly an ageism thing. Even I still get treated like I'm an idiot by most adults, and I am 27! People think I'm still a teenager because of my looks and because...I guess because my mind doesn't really work normally. I have autism and people have told me that I act way younger than my age, so combining that with how I look makes people think I'm like 16 or something, so I get the exact same treatment.  I'm a 'teenager' so I'm dumb and don't know anything about how the world works, or I'm dumb because my body is being RULED by hormones (Um...duh. Everyone's body is 'ruled' by hormones. You don't just suddenly stop producing things once you hit the magical age of 20) and it's making me unable to see logic. It happens a lot. 

The only thing I can say is that, if you are a teen, do your best to be positive, to listen, and to be thoughtful and polite. I know there are times that it can be stupidly hard, and that people will not treat you well all the time even then, but you are more likely to find someone, eventually, who will listen and give you good advice when you need it, and who will value your opinions and thoughts. It just takes some time and some searching. That's a pain, I know, but in the end it'll be worth it.

Kimmy, shut up. You haven't seen anything yet. You have no right to complain. Older people blah, blah blah.


:3

In all seriousness... ness.... even before 13, I used this on my little brother for lulz. But, since I am a teenager now, I'm waiting until I see it. Hopefully, it won't.

First of all, thank you so much for the reply! That's how people are supposed to respond!

Secondly, don't say your mind doesn't work normally because you have autism. No one's mind works normally, and we're all different! Yours just works differently than a lot of people's, and mine does, too!

You're really cool. Thanks!

You're welcome! You asked some legit things, so I wanted to try and give some perspective and answer you at the same time. Hope I didn't offend at all. That wasn't my intent. I just get to kind of simultaneously see both sides of the same coin, so perspective going both ways gets a little wonky.

Hah, you're right there. I guess what I meant was what you said, that my mind works differently from a LOT of people's, and that my thinking is younger than it should be? It makes people look at me funny and treat me younger, which is where the frustration part came in. 

You are too, thank you for the compliment!

"There are people who have it worse."

This argument, is overused, and doesn't answer my question. Don't give this answer to other people. You need to understand where someone is at before you listen to their problems, let alone give them a step up, and if you don't help them step up now, no way they'll be anywhere near where you are in the future.

It's silly.


So, I just go to people who will hear me out about life. Like my grandma.

Now, that may sound childish to some, but really. Nothing has been better in life than having someone comforting to lean on. I have problems just like everyone else, and I can use encouragement.


Just know who you can go to in life, and know who you can't.

And be someone your friends can come to. (Not just by telling them want they want to hear, but also what they need to hear.)

That's how I look at it.

I'm going to close this now because it has been inactive for over 3 months and it seems the people who were going to reply have. Hope everything is solved Kimmy ^^