Here is the first chapter of my short story, Don't Love Me. Enjoy

Local Mods :
I don't know where this thread would go so if there is a place please move it.

Don’t Love Me

Chapter 1 – No Place to Go
My name is Max Weibler, and I’m an orphan, well, I’m certain my parents are still out there, somewhere, I’m 14 years old, and with all my friends going with all these families, I’m starting to lose hope. I’m not really a stylish wearer, I just get whatever I can find, no matter how silly it, and that’s easier said than done, Occasionally I do get to go to school, yes, I don’t always go, the orphan manager always stirs up some revolting punishment for me to do, it’s never right. I feel like my life is just a bad luck streak. The teachers at school are no help either, they have zero manners to anyone else apart from your own, and don’t think of getting into trouble either, they will make you stay in dinner time just because you needed a ruler. My life sucks, its horrendous.
I’m always picked for everything, it’s like I’m the guinea pig, they always pick me in a competition if they think the opposition is going to beat me, no one has any care in the world, I can’t sing, I can’t dance, I can’t even play football like a normal boy, I’m an outsider. I have to group with the girls every day, and believe me that isn’t fun, they always like to try and get me to do something with the “secret” persuasion trick that they know about, basically it goes like this, you ask someone to do something small, and then ask them to do something big. Or your could do the exact opposite. It’s one of those things where you just have to do it, Anyways, I’m going off course, I should probably worry about my own life, let alone everyone else’s.

realplayer109 : Yeah, this should be in the stories thread, so one of the forum mods will move it for you. It's a good start, a bit short though and I think you might want to format the paragraphs a bit better, but you're doing good so far.

zanderlex : Thanks! But I don't want to keep it too long because its a short story.

This is fantastic! You made great vocabulary use and you were so descriptive! (except for the character's appearance which you should describe at least a little bit) It could be longer, but it probably shouldn't be since it's a short story. Keep up the great writing!

How many chapter do you plan on making? If you make a bunch of chapters that are short, that might be a bit much unless you plan on making all the chapters in one thread.

zanderlex : This is just a sample of what you get if you buy the book when its released, I will be selling it in Summertime depending on how much I get done and it will probably be for 5,000 viz, which most books are these days,

realplayer109 : Ooooh, you're actually going to sell it? Here only or other places also?

zanderlex : It depends, if it gets very popular on vizzed then I might sell it elsewhere for a higher price, my next destination for my book to be sold on might be for Digital Download on the kindle. That's only if it gets quite a lot of excellent reviews which I doubt will happen.

Dude.... If you want, I will totally help you get it published as an actual small book on Amazon and for Kindle, I already wrote a small book on Amazon, wrote a few yet to be published novels, and am working on my next one at the moment. I can help if you want.

zanderlex : That's great, I'm actually thinking this could
be done by Spring time, I've nearly finished the 2nd chapter,
thanks so much.

realplayer109 : Do you have any idea how many chapters or words the entire thing will be? Or just are you just coming up with stuff as you write?

zanderlex : I had the idea when I went into WHSmiths a couple of weeks ago, it is based around a book that I saw. I think this is going to be roughly 4 - 6 chapters long.

realplayer109 : Oh, so if it does get published, it would probably be about 5 to 8 pages maybe depending on how long the other chapters are.

zanderlex : If the font size is reasonably big then it would probably 10 to 12 maybe?, this is a short story for kids 10 - 12 so I'm doing it short just because I don't want to be boring for them.



Also, I have finished it, would you like a copy to review?
Just thinking of the Kindle Fire size.

realplayer109 : You finished the entire thing or just the 2nd chapter you mentioned earlier? I don't think most places allow bigger fonts, maybe put some pictures?

zanderlex : I finished the entire thing. Yes, font might be too big, we'll see what happens.
I'll try pictures but I can't say I can do them great. Oh, should I do a cover too?

realplayer109 : Having a cover wuld really make it stand out and would probably make it easier to sell.

zanderlex : I think this cover is perfect!

Image upload: 610x788 totaling 27 KB's.
I'll ask my mum when she wakes up what she thinks of it! I have also got two other pictures I want to show you, pm you with them?