OK... this was THE MOST GODLY! review for anything, EVER!!!

Got this from MichaelVash when he was searching for Trigun stuff...

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B00005OW09/ref=cm_custrec_gl_acc/102-4108151-4769721?v=glance&s=dvd

M.A.C. is Ghetto, January 27, 2005
Reviewer: Burke (Indianapolis, IN, USA) - See all my reviews

As anyone with a 3rd grade reading level can glean from the above and below reviews, the series itself is pretty good. I think its great. If you want information on the series, look to another review. If you care about whether or not the DVD you purchase is glitchy, badly translated and organized by kindergarteners, stay on the line. I, Burke of the infinite wisdom, am here to rant about the ghettoness that is M.A.C., or the Manga Anime whosiwhatsit (most likely Corporation) that produced and released the said DVD. I have no other experience with M.A.C., so my review be biased. Buuuuut, their Trigun collection is horrible. Let me begin in a colorful, flowing narrative that will charm ages young and old, accompanied by a "GRR" count to track the number of times I was so frustrated I uttered an audible growl. Or maybe the number of times I wanted to kill a man in reckless anger. *Ahem.*

I opened the package to find a cardboard DVD case. Grr. Alright, that happens sometimes... so I tried opening it. It is REALLY hard to slide in and out of the cardboard sleeve, not that I'm that anal, but after you hear the rest, you'll see why every little detail grates me like thousands of tiny little knives. (The elves wield them, you'll see.) Grr. So a few days later I had time to watch an episode. The images printed on the DVDs are pixellated (Grr) and I find that the episode or "chapter" guide is physically impossible to navigate if you have A.D.D. (GRR! Why me, God?? WHYY!!) So M.A.C. (stands for "Massacre and Carnage") thought it would be cute to have the guide layout switch with every episode, and have moving pictures in every little box, and sometimes a moving background, and the cursor is hard to see and moves in a weird pattern...The confusion and terror took me back to my days in Nam. Grr=10, (bonus for snarling due to war memories)

So, like a scorned lover, I got over it...not that I make love to my dvds...wow I'm never using rhetorical devices ever again. Bad metaphor. Forget I said it. So anyway, after staring at the flashing screen in a semi-catatonic state for a little over an hour, I chose an episode. (Grr=drooling) To switch languages, there is a detailed process you must follow (at least on my jank player) I won't go into that, but it involves a lot of backtracking, along with strategery and tact, none of which I retain the capacity for when I'm in an "I WANNA WATCH JAPANESE CARTOONS UNTIL MY BRAINS FREAKING BLOW UP!" mood. (Grr=25 "baka baka baka!")

Ok, so watching watching drooling and watching...then BZZT---
Me: Gaa! *twitch* Did...did you just see that?
My friend: Um...I think your TV just had an aneurism. Or a seizure maybe...I wouldn't know, I'm not a plumber.
Me: Well the connection's good and the player's fine, and the DVD's brand new!
My friend: Maybe it's from a ghetto company. Just because it has pretty artwork doesn't mean its proffessional quality.
Me: Grrrrrr...

And there you have it, the birth of the "MAC is Ghetto" theory. It's somewhere up with the "Vibrating String" theory, only more important. So yeah, the BZZZACT *snap* seizure thing happens a lot, and you can't view some parts. The dvd gets stuck on one of the previews, but that's ok...it's when it glitches during an episode that bothers me.
Grr= *sizzle* <--(that's my brain frying)

So I thought "Hey, I'll watch it in Japanese with subtitles, maybe I'll feel cultured!" Yeah. So I spend 4 and a half YEARS messing with the language settings before I finally get the damned thing to bend to my will, then I find out what's wrong with the subtitles. Wee. Ok, there are multiple repeated spelling errors (really big ones too, like leaving all of the vowels out of a word), some lines have no spaces between words soitsreallyhardtoread,likethis. The grammer is shoddy, but intelligible. Sometimes a meaning will be pretty unclear, but the translators tried their damndest and you can guess. But sometimes, the translators just didn't know what to do, so they wrote #NAME?? in big black letters across the bottom of the screen. And that's when I stopped believing in God. (or maybe just the human race...but I was still emotionally crippled.)


This is your brain on drugs...this is your brain after buying from M.A.C. Observe that there is little difference.
Grr=aLL yOuR bAsE aR bELonG 2 uS

So, the final judgement? M.A.C. is run by pre-pubescent monkeys...and I hate them. Now for the "Grr" tally!

Grr: *BZZZZAAACKT!* #NAME??? <--(English translation of the popular Japanese saying, "Many many rivers overflowing with displeasure")

M.A.C.: -1000...and condemnation to the 8th circle of hell (with the grafters, counterfeiters and sowers of discord! Yay!)

Well, that's all the time I have for today, folks.
(With revolting amounts of personal affection)
The Mistress of the Meow Mix,
~~Burke

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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

You have to read that review. I started crying because it was so funny. I still crack up.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAH hHAHAHhahaahah hhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha.... They should just download it like everyone else. JK