I've been single for a while now, and I've been searching for a partner. To that end I've been working out, losing lots of fat and gaining muscle. It seems my work paid off, because now I've got plenty of girls crawling over me.

My target girl has all the traits I'm looking for; tall, strong mentally and physically, and funny. She'd (we'll call her Girl 1) been flirting with me a lot and i was ready to go in for the kill today.

However when i mentioned the attributes I'm looking for Girl 1 and her friends pointed me to Girl 2, who was even more stunning than Girl 1. It seemed like a match made in heaven, if those exist. I got the chance to talk to her for a bit, and she seemed perfect.

There was one thing i didn't know about her, though. Girl 2 had gotten pregnant at 12 by some scumbag who left her and now she has to nurse a baby whilst dealing with a lack of support from her parents. Essentially, I'd have to pick up step-father roles if i was to go for her.

I've been pushed into doing it by my friends and Girl 1. I want to stay with the former, but she's telling me to stick with Girl 2.

What do I do? I haven't quite faced a decision this huge, to my memory.

Looking at traits and attributes are no way to find a girlfriend and make it a lasting relationship. You'd want to look for someone that interests you, talk to them and learn about them, and then ask yourself why you like them. At your age and mine, infatuation is always mistaken for love, I've done this several times. For me, I know I love a girl Im currently trying to be with because I'm happy around her, and she makes me feel comfortable just being near her. I also think she has the most interesting personality that I could spend hours explaining. All of the things like she's cute/funny/smart/strong can be found anywhere and everywhere. Its how that girl makes you feel and what she is really like that you want to look for. You have a really interesting problem and Id like to tell you this, to take on step-father roles is a HUGE responsibility for anyone, and you're only 14. To have a girlfriend you need to be capable to take care of yourself and your girlfriend, and to throw a kid in the mix just makes thing incredibly hectic. Do you honestly think you can take care of 3 different lives at once, especially at your age? Just consider that in your decision making, your life isn't the only one at stake, but the lives of two other people. But hey, I'm only 15 myself, I could be perfectly right, perfectly wrong, and anywhere in the middle. However, I'm giving you my experience and knowledge, and I'm pretty smart about stuff like this for my age. I hope you make a good decision and things turn out okay. Oh, and even if you don't end up with Girl 2, try to help her out whenever and however you can, it is really stressful to be a teen-mom. And heck, she was a mom before she was even a teen, so support her if you can.

Did you say you are being pushed towards Girl 2 by your friends AND your original flame, Girl 1? Doesn't that mean Girl 1 isn't that into you? I mean she's setting you up with someone else.


I'm 38, I have a kid. The responsibility is huge. I'm not saying that this poor girl 2 should be cast aside, but shad0wtraverse brings up a valid point - you're awful young to consider having this kid in your life - but some people are nurturing and this it could be a moment you prove to Girl 2 you care. I started being a father earlier than I should have, and you miss out on quite a bit of stuff because of the demands of children. You still have a lot of life to live.

Endings has it right.  If girl 1 is saying, "Wow, look at that girl over there," that means she's not interested in a romantic relationship with you.  That's the end of the story right there.  It's an obvious move and that girl is distracting you so you can really forget about her.

Girl #2?  I might consider dating a girl with a kid but I'm 33 and a grown man.  You're half my age (rounded down) and you have absolutely no business thinking about taking on any responsibility for a child.  You should be able to have fun, go out and do stuff and not be tied down to a girl because you feel like you owe her because she has a kid.  That sucks that she has a kid.

But let's be honest.  Think about her decision making process and her reality in that she was (a) having sex at 12 and (b) not using condoms or any other contraceptive devices.  Someone makes decisions like that and I'd be running the other way.

From way over here, there's no big problem.  Girl one isn't interested and you should stay away from Girl 2.

Do what you like, though.  Good luck.  I hope things work out.

My input would be to do what is best for you. When it comes to entering a relationship, I would imagine it would be to make you happy, and if you think you can be happy with girl #2, then go for it. Personally, I agree that girl #1 isn't interested (you can always keep trying if you still aren't sure) and that girl #2 is not a wise choice. But again, if you feel you are ready for the responsibilities of helping a struggling mother through life and that you can be happy with it, go with it. Just remember that it's your decision, and don't make the decision under the impression that you have to date girl #2.