NintendoFanKimmy : maby try to ease him into it say things like our friendship is great or i wouldent want to change any thing about it. then if say he does ask you out tell him how you feel about him that he is a great friend but nothing more.i really don't think there is a way to let him down without making him at lest a little sad. 

First of all, keep in mind that if he just considers you to be his closest friend and you tell him you're not interested in him, you're gonna look like a pompous douche, haha.

Just playing though, he sounds like he's pretty into you. It sucks that he's trying so hard when you're not feeling it, and I agree with you that it'd be easier for both of you just to set him straight so he doesn't continue to humiliate himself (and you) by his over attentiveness.

I'd just play it casual. I'd say something like "You've been seeming really hyped up lately, is everything okay? You're a really good friend and you can tell me what's up if you need to talk."

Hopefully something like that will discourage him, but if he doesn't open up about it or gets more persistent, just say something cheesy about how you're really glad you're pals and that you're always there for him as a friend. Also, it wouldn't be the worst idea to lead into telling him that you have a crush. It'd show that you're comfortable with him and trust him with the information, but also that you've got your sights set on someone else. That way he's not going to feel completely cut out of your life but also realize that when you say you're friends, that's exactly what you mean.

The worst thing would be to hurt his feelings or make him feel embarrassed for his actions, so as long as you're mellow about the whole thing, hopefully it should go over smoothly. Keep us posted!

I agree with blas, unless you end up screaming at him, there really is no polite way to say it, the kind of person who he is will be the cause of how he interprets what you say, and he might be sad, might be angry, might even be relieved that he has some sort of a sign. All you need to do really is make sure to cheer him up of he does get depressed or embarrassed, but nothing is really going to happen unless you say something, regardless of how you say it.

I agree more with KG.  If he's that into you, and you've been friends for that long, it'd be best to help him avoid embarrassment. If I were you, I'd tell him about the crush. If that's too scary for you, I'd make sure to often mention the word friend when describing him or talking to him.... Don't make it seem forced, however, and let it happen casually in the conversation.

When he catches on, you'll likely know it, because he'll seem depressed. The best thing you can do then is to be there for him.... but set those boundaries!  

I guess... on the flip side, you could try asking him if he has interest in other girls. "See so and so... would you date her if she was single?"  This might show him that you have no expectations or desires for him to reflect those kinds of thoughts onto you.

You should go and shout it from the rooftops- "I don't like __________! He sucks!"
Just kidding.
In the end, just be gentle about it. Like many other things in life, this isn't going to have a clean, nice solution where everyone is happy-go-lucky and fine. He is going to feel bad about it- I mean, what guy wouldn't? In the end, just don't be too much of a douchebag about it, and try to move on. It's going to hurt, but if it's bothering you that much, then set the damn boundaries. Just warning you, he might not take it well- but you knew that coming into this situation. It's not going to be the same for the both of you.

KG : Thanks for your reply; I really think it'll work if I try it out. 

As for everyone else, I appreciate your replies, too! I acknowledge that he'd end up at least a little sad afterwards, but not sharing my true feelings isn't fair to me. I'm going to school in a few minutes. Hopefully it'll all go well. 

NintendoFanKimmy :  Well, it's not fair for you OR for him, honestly. The longer he goes without knowing you have no interest, the deeper he can fall, and the more it will hurt when he finally finds out. I know seeing him in pain will suck, but try to focus on the good outcomes that will occur as a result in the future.

Good luck, Kimmy!

Alright, everyone, I'm back from school! Everything went smoother than butter.~

The funny thing is - I barely had to do anything. That's right. It all happened by chance; it was pretty darn hilarious. 

So, there was this ninth-grader (I'm an eighth-grader) who was on my bus last year, and I never was really able to tell whether he liked me or whether he just found it amusing to talk to me/annoy me. It didn't bother be that much since he didn't overdo it (although there was this one time when I had to tell the teacher because he wouldn't stop trying to secretly record me on the bus, which was kind of creepy). Well, as a joke or something, he popped by as my friends and I were talking today and gave me a flower literally plucked from some tree two meters away with a dumb-sounding, "this is for you", followed by his friends laughing, and then they all walked away. 

Well, the guy whom I'm sure likes me was there and saw it; I don't know how he interpreted it, but I had told him earlier that day that I had a crush one someone (he might have wondered whether it was himself, but whatever). Well, that whole out-of-nowhere incidence might have caused him to believe it was the ninth-grader or something, but I won't say anything to confuse this situation anymore. Either way, it might have helped.

Anyhow, to ensure everything ended nicely, I gave him a bro-fist during the last class of the day and told him that he'd always be one of my brothers. He didn't tell me I felt like a sister to him, but he laughed and waved me off; it didn't seem to bother him that much. If he ends up becoming depressed, I'll play my role as his friend and talk to him.

Thanks for your help, everyone!~

Well that was a matter of luck, I guess...
It seems that everything is back to normal I guess.
Well as for your friend I hope he can become friends with you in the better way you wanted to.
Just as you said help him out if needed.
Also we Vizzedians can give more advice that the Answers thingy site.
Just remember its a matter of opinion of anyone's answers
Anyways, the case I guess is solved and sorry if I am sounding like a mod, I believe this should be open if something alters the result of this case...

-VGMX

P.S. I AGREE WITH YOU TOO, FRIEND ZONE IS A VERY DREADFUL TERM AND SHOULD NEVER USED EVER!
EVER EVER EVER EVER YOU KNOW WHY!? 

P.S. I was going to do an Ash Ketchum example of me defending him, but I found it rather pointless for the thread...

He's spending time and making the effort because he thinks he has a shot somehow.  You're reacting to him, you're interacting with him, you're probably laughing at his bad jokes just to make him feel better.  So he tries really hard to keep that up.

You're giving him attention.

Don't give him attention.

There's no nice, easy, polite way to break it up with him and tell him you're not interested.  So, instead, be aggressive, tell him how it is, and end the thing.  He will probably get mad enough to not want to be your friend at all and that's fine because he doesn't see the relationship the way you do.

Do the band-aid trick.  Be quick, end it.

Otherwise, you have this pseudo-relationship that doesn't make either of you happy and nothing positive is going to change because you have your crush and he has the romantic rival he can't compete against.  He loses and he's still hanging around hoping, hanging to a shred of prayer that you'll come around.  And you won't.  So you're stopping him from moving on and finding someone else to bother.... date, rather.

Just tell him you will never be interested in him.  You won't.  End of story.

It's the best.  I'm a guy, I'd rather that happen than me follow a girl around like a puppy looking stupid and embarrassed and not even knowing it.

VideogamemanX : ASH KETCHUM IS LITERALLY THE FIRST THING I THINK OF WHEN I HEAR THE TERM, "FRIEND ZONE" XD. *HIGH FIVES*.

Anyway, we were randomly assigned as partners to write a story in English class, which we are still writing, and it's really creative! I don't mean to brag, but we have pretty big imaginations... And, it's bringing us closer to each other as friends!

I'm not going to summon you, warmaker, because this is not so important, but in case you happen to see this, know that I completely get your post, and it's what I would have done for sure if he hadn't gotten the idea. But I think he definitely did. 

I don't want to be a downer, but because I was in a similar situation (a long, long time ago XD), I do want to warn you Kimmy..... it's probably -not- over until it's handled directly.  As you mentioned, he might have misinterpreted your 'crush' comment to be referring to him.  Plus, some kid handing you a flower isn't likely enough to discourage him.  He doesn't know if it's your crush, the term 'crush' insinuates that nothing serious is going on and crushes are usually temporary, and.... he could think he will simply outwait events dealing with your crush.

I just want you to be very careful since a lot of emotions are involved. I really don't think it's over like you want it to be... not until you tackle it more directly. (I'm speaking as a grown adult who remembers the mindset kids your age have.)

There's been lots of good advice in the thread. But sorta unrelated, I just wanted to say something about the issue a few people have mentioned about 'friendzone".

The term is not meant to be an insult to a girl who refuse their friend's advances. It's simply a term used to explain being in the situation where a guy likes a girl in a romantic way, and she doesn't like him that way. There's nothing 'wrong' with it, it's simply too bad.

I have a feeling that those who hate the word simply do because they feel guilty about having put someone in the friendzone... but there really is no reason to. There's nothing insulting about it, it's simply a word to describe something that would normally take more than simply one word to describe.

Try to get him to like someone else  

Light Knight : Yes, you're right.

What I meant to say was that too many people use to insult and/or make their girlfriend, or boyfriend, seem like the one at fault. Because so many people use it the wrong way, I've grown to dislike it due to it reminding me of them, but you are right. It is, regardless of the way the ignorant ones use it, a quite harmless term.

I'd say tell it to him straight. First ask him if he likes you and if by some ungodly coincidence the whole thing was a misunderstanding drop the topic and forget about it. On the other hand, if you are right then tell him that you don't think having a relationship is a good idea. It sounds harsh but I think he would rather know that your friendship is valuable then date you when you have no romantic interest right now.

NintendoFanKimmy : The word you're looking for is misogynistic in relation to Friendzone, btw. I think the word is slowly being phased out, as people realise how it really objectives girls as dating machines. I doubt if he's your friend he would use it, and would totally understand if you ain't into him. If he is, you have to either make him realise how misogynistic it is or really shut off your friendship with him. You really seem like a politically correct person and I doubt you can stand someone that would use the term non-ironically.


As the rest of the posts are very sensible replies that you should actually follow, and sense I am not a parrot, here are a couple silly,  totally awful ones to cheer you up:

Matchmake him with another girl. There probably is someone that likes him, and you just need ship them together. That way, he gets to fall in love while you get to fall out of love. A win-win! Now, the best way to do is to the lock them in the same room and throw away the key, eventually the love they (hopefully) had previously developed for each other would manifest in some sort of way to escape their prison, like taking turns to routinely attempt to kick down the door.

Also, convince him he is the funniest thing ever so he would take part in a talent show as a comedian. Laugh as he fails and he'll feel so bitter that he won't want to date you anymore, however, he will consider it his own fault because, being a guy, he probably thought he misunderstood you or something.

In all honesty and I actually have done this before, either learn the lyrics or sing along with the song, Two out of three ain't bad by Meat Loaf, I guarantee you sister he will get the message. Oh the memories of the one and only time I did that, I won't deny it though it was somewhat funny, though sad when I did that. I wanted a unique way to get rid of the girl, I wanted it to be somewhat weird and funny so she wouldn't get to badly hurt, and one day well that song was on the radio, forgot about it actually. I was rocking out to it and started to realize the lyrics behind the song, and that's when it hit me like a rock to the head, "this.......THIS!!!!!!!! Is what I will use to break up with her." And so I did so whenever someone tells you that music can't help you out with life situations or any life situations for that matter show them this post sister, or sing loud, and sing proud that song. Do it either over the phone or in person, I must warn you though, it is truly effective in person.