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04-26-24 03:12 PM

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A Review of Water
It's what you've all been waiting for...
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1,143
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10
Rating
3
Status
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Creator
TheNameWithNoNu..
10-13-14 11:11 PM
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nreid1
10-14-14 08:46 PM
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A Review of Water

 

10-13-14 11:11 PM
TheNameWithNoNumbers is Offline
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| ID: 1090926 | 335 Words

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POSTS: 310/359
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Likes: 2  Dislikes: 0
Molecular Structure: 2/10
Really, I think Water, also known as H2O,  arguably shows it's weakest point here. Having a molecular geometry of only linear, this has an angle of only 180 degrees! I mean, no variations, no decimals, only 180 degrees folks, with two floating pairs of valence electrons. I mean, Christ, Water, step up your game. That alone is an insult to molecular structures everywhere- not only boring and bland, but messy too? Water could do a lot from adopting a tetrahedral or even a trigonal bipyramidal structure. Cleaning up those spare valence electrons could help too.

Human Impact: -1/R
I mean, where do we even start? While Water does provide a useful barrier against the Dutch, British, Finnish, and Sealandians, it certainly has not helped the human race at all. I mean, just look at it! Has water won a Nobel Peace Prize? Has it colonized the moon? Did it even teach a dog to flip? Honestly, water is the scourge of the Earth, and humanity as a whole would benefit from the immediate removal of all water from the planet.

Taste: 49/2394
Did you know that water is actually used by the conglomerate to control the minds of susceptible Vizzed users, making them into 12 year old, repetitive spamming machines? Yes, you heard it right here folks- the truth THEY didn't want you to hear. You won't get this top secret information anywhere else. This is further proving water is a scourge on humanity.

Transparency: 23094/10
It's OK, I guess.

B+/A^6: Lovingness
Can you imagine anything more callous than water- except for a callous? I mean, even callouses technically have a nucleus, or something to control the masses of cells. Water has nothing! It can't even think! I mean, if it can't think, then how can it feel the pain of not quite being hungry enough for a snack even though it's bothering you nonetheless? Honestly, one of the biggest meanies I have ever, ever had the displeasure of meeting.


OVERALL: 10/10
Molecular Structure: 2/10
Really, I think Water, also known as H2O,  arguably shows it's weakest point here. Having a molecular geometry of only linear, this has an angle of only 180 degrees! I mean, no variations, no decimals, only 180 degrees folks, with two floating pairs of valence electrons. I mean, Christ, Water, step up your game. That alone is an insult to molecular structures everywhere- not only boring and bland, but messy too? Water could do a lot from adopting a tetrahedral or even a trigonal bipyramidal structure. Cleaning up those spare valence electrons could help too.

Human Impact: -1/R
I mean, where do we even start? While Water does provide a useful barrier against the Dutch, British, Finnish, and Sealandians, it certainly has not helped the human race at all. I mean, just look at it! Has water won a Nobel Peace Prize? Has it colonized the moon? Did it even teach a dog to flip? Honestly, water is the scourge of the Earth, and humanity as a whole would benefit from the immediate removal of all water from the planet.

Taste: 49/2394
Did you know that water is actually used by the conglomerate to control the minds of susceptible Vizzed users, making them into 12 year old, repetitive spamming machines? Yes, you heard it right here folks- the truth THEY didn't want you to hear. You won't get this top secret information anywhere else. This is further proving water is a scourge on humanity.

Transparency: 23094/10
It's OK, I guess.

B+/A^6: Lovingness
Can you imagine anything more callous than water- except for a callous? I mean, even callouses technically have a nucleus, or something to control the masses of cells. Water has nothing! It can't even think! I mean, if it can't think, then how can it feel the pain of not quite being hungry enough for a snack even though it's bothering you nonetheless? Honestly, one of the biggest meanies I have ever, ever had the displeasure of meeting.


OVERALL: 10/10
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Post Rating: 2   Liked By: Barathemos, TheFadedWarrior,

10-14-14 08:38 AM
Singelli is Offline
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Well this is uh.... interesting, although I don't think play4fun would want it in his review center.  I think this belongs somewhere else, since it's more 'fun'. 

I have to be honest and say that when I saw the title, I thought "Oh gosh, what stupid spammy thing is he posting?", but as I read it... I got more than a few chuckles.  Nerdiness AND randomness?  You sir, are a genius.  Maybe?

Anyways, I really appreciated this.    I think with some tweaks, it could be even more nerdy and awesome.

What the heck inspired you to write this?  lol
Well this is uh.... interesting, although I don't think play4fun would want it in his review center.  I think this belongs somewhere else, since it's more 'fun'. 

I have to be honest and say that when I saw the title, I thought "Oh gosh, what stupid spammy thing is he posting?", but as I read it... I got more than a few chuckles.  Nerdiness AND randomness?  You sir, are a genius.  Maybe?

Anyways, I really appreciated this.    I think with some tweaks, it could be even more nerdy and awesome.

What the heck inspired you to write this?  lol
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10-14-14 08:05 PM
TheFadedWarrior is Offline
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Wow, I am quite impressed. You very accurately described this product. Very detailed and useful review. Next time I see water, I will think about your review and decide if it's worth drinking or not. Have you ever thought about applying for site staff as a review writer? I've already said this, but this review is so detailed and well thought-out. Now I know all I need to know about water.
Wow, I am quite impressed. You very accurately described this product. Very detailed and useful review. Next time I see water, I will think about your review and decide if it's worth drinking or not. Have you ever thought about applying for site staff as a review writer? I've already said this, but this review is so detailed and well thought-out. Now I know all I need to know about water.
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10-14-14 08:09 PM
Barathemos is Offline
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"Taste: 49/2394" no.
Water tastes like god.
192394985866848/2394
"Taste: 49/2394" no.
Water tastes like god.
192394985866848/2394
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10-14-14 08:09 PM
zanderlex is Offline
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dark mode
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I would love to see you go 3 days without water, though those first two sentences of Human Impact did crack me up, we do need a good barrier. Next time I see water, I will throw it into the ocean saying out loud, "This is for the planet!"
I would love to see you go 3 days without water, though those first two sentences of Human Impact did crack me up, we do need a good barrier. Next time I see water, I will throw it into the ocean saying out loud, "This is for the planet!"
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10-14-14 08:21 PM
TheFadedWarrior is Offline
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zanderlex : But if you throw it into the ocean, the ocean's water level will rise and the world will be flooded all thanks to you. Which is why you should never pour water in the ocean.

what.
zanderlex : But if you throw it into the ocean, the ocean's water level will rise and the world will be flooded all thanks to you. Which is why you should never pour water in the ocean.

what.
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10-14-14 08:25 PM
zanderlex is Offline
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TheFadedWarrior : Isn't that the whole point of this? That water is bad for humans? If somebody doesn't do it eventually, water will kill us all.

Barathemos : At the moment, my water tastes like metal.
TheFadedWarrior : Isn't that the whole point of this? That water is bad for humans? If somebody doesn't do it eventually, water will kill us all.

Barathemos : At the moment, my water tastes like metal.
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10-14-14 08:28 PM
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TheFadedWarrior : Your comment is making me laugh. Hard.
zanderlex : Your comment made me laugh, as well. I don't think I would have laughed so hard at Faded's joke if it were not for your set-up. Well said.
TheFadedWarrior : Your comment is making me laugh. Hard.
zanderlex : Your comment made me laugh, as well. I don't think I would have laughed so hard at Faded's joke if it were not for your set-up. Well said.
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10-14-14 08:32 PM
zanderlex is Offline
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supernerd117 : Which is why zander and faded make a great couple.
supernerd117 : Which is why zander and faded make a great couple.
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10-14-14 08:37 PM
Barathemos is Offline
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zanderlex : I ship it
zanderlex : I ship it
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10-14-14 08:46 PM
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"Did you know that water is actually used by the conglomerate to control the minds of susceptible Vizzed users, making them into 12 year old, repetitive spamming machines? Yes, you heard it right here folks- the truth THEY didn't want you to hear. You won't get this top secret information anywhere else. This is further proving water is a scourge on humanity"

Seems legit.
"Did you know that water is actually used by the conglomerate to control the minds of susceptible Vizzed users, making them into 12 year old, repetitive spamming machines? Yes, you heard it right here folks- the truth THEY didn't want you to hear. You won't get this top secret information anywhere else. This is further proving water is a scourge on humanity"

Seems legit.
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