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Singelli
10-11-14 09:49 PM
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10-13-14 06:07 PM
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Receiving Charity

 

10-11-14 09:49 PM
Singelli is Offline
| ID: 1089586 | 266 Words

Singelli
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How do you feel about receiving charity?

When I was younger, my parents sheltered me and my siblings to an extreme.  My mother especially though, had a silent sense of pride in being a mother.  Although they did not have a lot of money, she was never happy to receive gifts or charity... and although there weren't lectures on the subject, she exemplified selflessness.  Due to being a homebody, there weren't many chances for her to act on these self-standards.  I do remember one time, however, when someone sent clothes home with my little brother. My mother was so hurt and embarrassed, that she returned the clothes the next day.

As an adult, I gained the same habit. I have a really, really hard time accepting 'gifts'.  When I was first married, my husband really chided me about this often.  His parents always wanted to buy me things and give me things... and I felt bad and embarrassed. I didn't want their gifts because I thought somehow.. that accepting the gifts easily would make me appear selfish.

I've actually gotten better about this in my attempt to be more 'normal'.  I see people giving and receiving gifts all the time, for absolutely no reason. And it's always awkward when I try to argue my way out of them.

How do you feel about receiving things when people are trying to be nice to you and / or help you out?  How do people like me make you feel?  What are some of the psychological characteristics of people like me that have a hard time accepting gifts?
How do you feel about receiving charity?

When I was younger, my parents sheltered me and my siblings to an extreme.  My mother especially though, had a silent sense of pride in being a mother.  Although they did not have a lot of money, she was never happy to receive gifts or charity... and although there weren't lectures on the subject, she exemplified selflessness.  Due to being a homebody, there weren't many chances for her to act on these self-standards.  I do remember one time, however, when someone sent clothes home with my little brother. My mother was so hurt and embarrassed, that she returned the clothes the next day.

As an adult, I gained the same habit. I have a really, really hard time accepting 'gifts'.  When I was first married, my husband really chided me about this often.  His parents always wanted to buy me things and give me things... and I felt bad and embarrassed. I didn't want their gifts because I thought somehow.. that accepting the gifts easily would make me appear selfish.

I've actually gotten better about this in my attempt to be more 'normal'.  I see people giving and receiving gifts all the time, for absolutely no reason. And it's always awkward when I try to argue my way out of them.

How do you feel about receiving things when people are trying to be nice to you and / or help you out?  How do people like me make you feel?  What are some of the psychological characteristics of people like me that have a hard time accepting gifts?
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Singelli


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

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10-11-14 10:29 PM
blasife is Offline
| ID: 1089641 | 44 Words

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Singelli : I have a silent pride where i do not like to be helped that way. i like for people to help me with words or show me how to help my self. I guess if you have to much independence this would show 
Singelli : I have a silent pride where i do not like to be helped that way. i like for people to help me with words or show me how to help my self. I guess if you have to much independence this would show 
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10-13-14 06:07 PM
ghostfishy is Offline
| ID: 1090710 | 159 Words

ghostfishy
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In my culture, you are supposed to be very generous and be very giving when possible. I don't mind giving gifts or making my own gifts for others. On the other hand, it is a bit tough for me to receive gifts especially when it is just out of generosity. I try my best to not receive gifts especially when I don't deserve it at all. Eventually I just give up to take the gifts and accept it. I don't want to keep wasting more of my energy just because of me trying to refuse a gift.

It seems like to me that you don't want to take gifts because you feel that you will take people for granted in some sort of sense which is how I feel sometimes. Also, the equal share and treatment plays a role in this. The give and take exchange is so unbalanced especially if you don't give gifts or take gifts often. 
In my culture, you are supposed to be very generous and be very giving when possible. I don't mind giving gifts or making my own gifts for others. On the other hand, it is a bit tough for me to receive gifts especially when it is just out of generosity. I try my best to not receive gifts especially when I don't deserve it at all. Eventually I just give up to take the gifts and accept it. I don't want to keep wasting more of my energy just because of me trying to refuse a gift.

It seems like to me that you don't want to take gifts because you feel that you will take people for granted in some sort of sense which is how I feel sometimes. Also, the equal share and treatment plays a role in this. The give and take exchange is so unbalanced especially if you don't give gifts or take gifts often. 
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Master of Fishes


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 01-06-14
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Post Rating: 1   Liked By: Seelowen,

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