Farting in public is just so bold, you cant really hold a fart back and its a gamble if it will make a noise or not, and its also a gamble if it will smell or not. I mean you can ease out a fart, but sometimes it sneaks out on you... loudly.

Discuss farts. Tell fart stories. Please have your posts be at least 20 words long.

I don't have any stories, But I personally think it just looks bad to just let loose in public because it kind of says a bit about you I guess. I don't really know anymore because in today's times its all about image and first impressions...A lot of annoying people in my class or even on my bus will just go crazy doing it whenever they feel like it and I just ignore them....it depends on the person and how much or a risk they are willing to take I guess because its pretty much a gamble like you said....strange topic, I don't even know why I replied to begin with XD

Interesting thread. It's certainly a topic that appeals to many people.

Yes, i have let loose many times in the past. Usually it's quiet, unless it was that one time when an entire gym was alerted to the sound of my gas.

But can you blame me? Farting's a basic human need! If i have to fart, i will. I am in control of my body, and i will do with it what i please.

Usually I just try to hold it in until I'm alone or ease it out so nobody notices, of course if someone does I just deny it. Usually I'm able to make quiet farts though they also smell. Not to an extreme point but enough for somebody to sometimes notice.

Kind of a strange topic to discuss in this particular forum or actually even in general... Why am I replying to this thread again? XD

Luckily I'm not a very gassy person, but once or twice while I've been at work, I wait until my cranky old lady coworker leaves her corner so I can go back there and crop dust the place before she comes back. It's never been smelly so far, which is super disappointing, but it's the little things that get you through the day. #yolo

One of my other coworkers is gassy every few times I work with her and she always rips while we're helping customers and standing in the same area and I can't escape. It is rank, and she always laughs about it later (while halfheartedly apologizing) because she knows how she makes me suffer. She's still great but seriously, I'm gonna beat her one of these days. I guess it's just fart karma for trying to bomb the old nag.

If this topic was about burps, I wouldn't care about burping in public especially I burp with confidence at home and in public. However when it comes to farts, I am a little bit nervous and hesitant farting in public. Farts are such mysterious gases that you won't even know if they will stink or make noise until you actually fart. I don't really fart that much in public but when I do, I am just praying that someone takes my fall in a crowd or hoping that it is silent.

Let's get this straight forward:
loud fart = less stinky
silent fart = more stinky

Silent farts are like deadly silent ninjas!

Moral of the story: fart loud?

Uhh... well, if you're able to spread your buttcheeks enough then it wont make any sound when it comes out. Remember that, because it's a very helpful skill to have for the future. You never know when you might need to do it, so make sure you're in a chair that you can spread 'em in.

Bobq makes a thread titled "fart".  I had to come in and see what all the jazz was about.  At work I will usually find an empty aisle and just decompress.  Sometimes it can't be avoided and I feel kinda bad if it is a real stinker cuz nobody likes smelling farts.  Apparently they are kinda fun to read about though.

Farting is hilarious! I have done this from times of blowing one up in a face, to releasing silent but, noxious fumes in the crowded hallway at middle school on our way out from recess. Most recently I went through this rotten egg fart series, oddly enough I had not had any eggs that day. I actually watched a video dubbed to farting over Nicki Minaj's "anaconda" that was quite outrageous. I had to look away actually because I was afraid I was going to die of laughter. I have one story I cannot tell in public, but if you really want to know and you feel you are brave enough to ask feel free and perhaps I will share. Over all I would say in most cases just fart the fart.

The frustrating thing about farting in public is that I always feel compelled to step away from the people that I'm with to do it. For some reason I always think that 20 feet or around a nearby corner is a sufficient distance. The problem with that theory is that either the people will realize I've walked away and attempt to follow me thus hitting the stink cloud or I'll rip it and pause for a short moment in an attempt to leave it behind and then it ends up following me  back to the group for some reason. Does it get hung up in the denim or something?

I'm not really a dog person but I always thought it would be convenient to have a dog follow me around all the time for no other reason but to blame it on the dog in those awkward moments.

Also, I knew a guy several years ago that told me that he got a lot of enjoyment from ripping one in bed and then holding his girlfriends head under the comforter. The thought of this has always amused me because it's so harmlessly cruel.

Another observation that I have is that old people (OLDER THAN ME, PEOPLE!) seem to have very little control over when and where they pass gas. I was in the grocery store once and this guy that must have been in his seventies bent over to get something from the bottom shelf and let one go. Oh man, I have never seen an area clear out faster except during a fire drill.

Well, I guess that about does it for my thoughts on flatulence. Again, thanks for the topic bobq!

KG : You cracked me up! LOL@crop dust!

DrakPokeMaster : Thanks for the lesson! LOL

thephantombrain :
1) The Dutch Oven is no joke. Harmlessly cruel, psshaw!! It's plenty harmful. To both the relationship and potentially the guy if the lady was enraged enough (and still breathing sufficiently).

2) Old people farting is hilarious and depressing. Do they even know they're doing it, or has their sphincter just called it quits for the rest of their lives? I was helping some old lady at work today and she ripped ass while standing across the counter from me and it was extremely rank. It was so strong I kinda felt like I could taste it and it made my eyes water a little bit. Unfortunately I was explaining something that she wasn't really grasping so the conversation lasted way longer than it should have. It was tragic. She seemed to have aired out when she came back later on though, which is nice; I was scared to approach. And now every time I see her (and she's a regular, of course), I'm going to think of nasty farts. What a world.

KG : DUTCH OVEN, THAT'S WHAT IT"S CALLED!

Harmful to the relationship? If a couple can't handle a few playful smells, how will they ever be able to handle something really serious - like a purple nurple?

thephantombrain :

lol if you purple nurpled your girl friend, she would be so pissed. Dutch ovening would piss her off, but she would get over that, and maybe want to get you back, but a purple nurple would be a whole other level of pissed. I guess it all depends on the person though, as some can take a joke, and some cant.

I don't always fart in public, but when I do, IT'S LIKE A FREAKING MACHINE GUN I'm one of the lucky ones.

I always try to keep it a secret, but a few people I know keep announcing loudly in class that they have to fart. Sometimes I hear people do it and then the whole class erupts in laughter. I go to such a good school XD

Fart story: I was in 6th grade (11 years old or something). It was close to the beginning of the year, probably about a month or 2 into the year going to a school where only 1 or 2 people that I knew from elementary school were going. I was in my language arts class, one of the only classes that I liked because it was a really cool teacher plus I sat around a lot of "cool" people (some of them already my friends, others just acquaintances). So at the beginning of every class we had to write a mini story about whatever the teacher put on the board. I have no idea what was on the board, I don't remember. This was a pretty rare day... All of the people sitting around me weren't talking. Usually this class is pretty loud, but on this particular day for some reason the class was dead silent. I lean forward to my notebook to work on my story and as I'm leaning forward one just pops out. You know what I mean when I say it "popped" out, it's happened to everyone either in private or public. So of course immediately I'm trying to be all like "I think it was that kid!", but of course everyone around me knew that it was me and it was a very embarrassing thing for me at the time since I was just starting out the year and had only a couple friends since all my friends from elementary school went to different schools. It's funny because now I go to high school with the same exact people in the class and we're all pretty good friends

Let tell you something about farts. 

Back in the golden thumbnail days, farts were gaseous.  Yes, nowadays, there are still gaseous farts that unplug a governor from your eyeballs.  Additionally, should a garage target abridge a bunt cake away from your jewelry or fenders, (or both,) hit it with a chowder port.  Believe me, scores of jumpers will up, up, and away!

Get those barf bags out, now.  Air biscuits are soon to follow!

Mumps.

bobq : A long time ago, I was in math class and I remember letting out this incredibly loud and long fart out and it stunk bad the stench stayed in the room for over an hour no joke it was so hilarious!

The worst one I ever had was a wet fart. I was playing street football with my friends back in 8th grade and I had to jump for a ball ( that I caught, bu the way ) , but then... the wet fart happened.