What else can be said about My Little Pony that hasn’t been thrown at you by the internet? Well, a ton of things, because MLP wasn’t always what it is now, and we’ll use this game as an example to how little girl+ money focused this older generation of ponies was.
I’d like to point out that I am aware that this game is way off my demographic, but believe me when I say you have no power here. It’s my review. Another point that is probably important is that I did not finish this game, but I do not believe that seeing the ending would change the way I look at things in. With that in mind, let’s begin.
The graphics aren’t great. They were too pixelated, I have seen better in the GBA, and the game is from 2006, so by then they should have figured out how to make games look decent on the console. But I believe that Hasbro told THQ to just finish this game ASAP and that it was a no brainer here’s a million dollars.
The sound was probably the best thing about this game. It only gets a 5 because it wasn’t anything special, it just worked. One thing that I found to be weird was the girl laugh that would pop up whenever the game felt like it. It was so out of place that when it popped up for the first time I was scared.
Oh, the addictiveness was off the charts! - said no one ever. I played this game for 20 long minutes and I got this weird tingling on my back, which would travel up to my throat and before I knew it I was hanging myself.
Couldn’t they have figure out a better way to make a game? Why in the world would you make a game where the main character is the slowest ass (as in donkey) I have ever seen in my life, and the main purpose of it is to go around in this PowerPoint of an overworld collecting random things for no reason? And I’d like to add a thing or two to that: in the beginning of the game, it is stated that Rarity (which is kind of an ironic name for a pink pony, given that the color pink is not a rarity at all in this game) is a princess or is about to become one. So, why is everybody else bossing ME around? I’m the f[abulous] princess! I’m the one who should be ordering you to go collect 3 objects that nopony gives a flying feather about! Or is this a society of princesses? I would not be surprised; it is a little girls show.
About that collecting things deal, why would they increase the amount of objects to collect? Maybe this is what they call “difficulty”, but I don’t think they were aware of that concept while making the game.
Moving on to the next point: story. I think there was one, but it was really simple. I didn’t read any of the dialogue and I still got it. Rarity is learning about rainbows and their 4 colors, Rarity goes to help the people of the land like a true knight, Rarity realizes this game is crap and leaves everyone. That should have been the end of it, but there’s the rest of the game that is basically Rarity receives a large sum of money from Hasbro and gets back to become a princess. Hurray for the story! It was better than Twilight’s.
Depth? The only depth I see here is the hole this knife will make on me once I stab myself repeatedly while playing this game. Seriously, a bunch of different mini-games and that’s it. Sure, there are a bunch of characters, but have you noticed they are all recolors? That’s not deep. Yes, there are different levels. But I guess that’s because someone at THQ thought that maybe some variety should be added to this misery, to which Hasbro replied “sure that’s a good idea here’s a million dollars now quit your job forever.”.
Now, about the difficulty…I’m not kidding when I say that the hardest parts about the game are probably either playing it or remembering the passwords, because there is absolutely no way to lose in this game. In the very first mini-game where you are supposed to bounce a worm, I totally flunked it because I thought I was supposed to bounce the thing on my (as in Rarity’s) head, but apparently it was on my breath…and somehow it was a, and I quote, “great effort”. Hell, there’s even a maze that is “S” shaped.
Overall, I know I’m being too hard on this game because of not being in its intended demographic, but like I said it’s my review which is made in my perspective. I don’t know why you would need me to have the target age in mind when we all know that all of us are off of it, so making this game “inaccessible” to all of us. But I still think that even for a kids game it is quite bad. It’s not challenging, I don’t think they would want that. Well, maybe if they watched the show and loved the characters in stuff, I guess they would blindly like the game, play it once and never touch it again, because that’s what 5 year olds do.
In my honest opinion, if THQ had picked up some platformer and shoved the pony bits on it they would have their hands on a better game. But they probably were promised one million dollars by Hasbro, and given that 5 year olds are not known for giving constructive criticism on games if at all, I don’t think that even I would have tried any harder in the making of this game.
Also anyone who read this review will receive a million dollars in their bank account. By Hasbro.
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This review is accompanied by a video that I made. It's mostly non serious and should not be taken into account when criticizing the review itself. That said, it contains some profanity (which I censored) and some gore (nothing shocking).
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Teh Doge Wit Nustrils is Offline
