This is probably like my third thread mentioning this, but I had a break up about 2 months ago. I was kind of getting over it for a while, but recently I've been feeling worse than ever. Sleeping... is so hard... as soon as I lie down I know I'm going to think of her. I dream of her almost every night because she's all I think about before I sleep. I feel like complete and utter crap. I need help. I don't think time is ever going to heal this wound. The only good thing that has come out of this break up is that I no longer fear death. I no longer have any joy and happiness in my life. I guess whoever said "when you've got nothing to lose then you have it all" was right. I suppose it was yesterday when I stopped fearing death. The only reason I thought about this is because I'm a paranoid person in the first place. I always feel like at any moment someone could break into my house and rob me and kill me. I thought about that last night, and that's when I realized if I died right then I would lose nothing. Before some of you may freak out and think I'm suicidal, don't worry. I would absolutely never ever even think about killing myself. That would just be stupid. I really want some kind of help, but I don't want to see a psychiatrist. I guess I'm just asking for some kind of support. I really don't know what to do.

TdV spammers, rejoice.

Anyways...

That's why I'm weary of trusting people and engaging on deep relationships being them intimate or not.

My advice? Unless there really is something you think you could do to reverse this situation... Stop fighting a lost cause. Life is cruel and doesn't cares for our feelings, it's just the way things are. The least we can try to do since we are stuck with it is try to get the best of it.

Sometimes it's a hard task, one I personally struggle with everyday, from finding something meaningful to do with my life to simply having the will to keep trying, but I won't get into details since it's not the subject at hand here. All I'll say is that I see it as it being either that or giving up on life for good.

In all honesty? Giving up my life because of someone else isn't something would be willing to do. And don't confuse that with sacrifice, it's a different thing to give something up for one's sake and another to give up due to something one may have done that's out of your control. In one of those, the choice of bringing the consequences upon yourself is actually yours. Life is like a double-edged knife...


Getting stomped by life is something you either get used to at some point or don't, but life doesn't care about how you feel (nor anyone for that matter). You can try to seek shelter and it's what most people do. But in the end what you decide to do is really up to you (or rather thrown up at you most of the tims). Some people seek God, which is probably the moral answer most would go with. Others go to more harsh options sometimes out of despair or simply due to childishness (people say not to do this, screw people, it's my life I do what I want, yada yada yada...), which usually resumes to doing drugs as a form of escaping from reality, getting involved with people that contradict those you disagree with, regardless of what that means for society (which is usually the reason they chose to take these actions anyways) and so forth. I personally am also an escapist, but that doesn't means I have to degrade myself.

I play games as a form of relief, it helps keeping my mind away from the things that trouble me. You can't do that 24/7, but once more, life doesn't cares how you deal with it. So I just try hard to find my way of addressing what bothers me the best way I can imagine. Most of the times I can't think of any and feel anguish, but after years... I learned to live with it. Sadly that affects your life, but I still have hope something may change the way I see things today, I try to remain open-minded the best way I can, but being so rigorous with everything as I am, I keep it real and don't expect a miracle. I learned to have patience and see things as they are (or as I see them be) and live with that in mind.

But you DO have stuff to lose. To put it bluntly, I highly doubt that that lady was your one and only aspect of life. That your relationship was the only thing you enjoyed. Go eat your favorite food, watch a movie, hang out/make some friends. You need to remind yourself that there is more to life than love. She may have been a big part of you life, but now you can fill that hole with ANYTHING you want. Whether you decide to find a sport or any activity. If you want to fill it with work, whatever it may be. Resort to the things you enjoy in life other than her, as there surely is something, and perhaps you should go find new things to enjoy also! There is an awful lot to go out and do and so I encourage you to go do them

I can seriously relate to this. Earlier this summer when I was having major problems with work and with a girl and a lot of things were happening, I felt the same way for a while sort of. While I didn't think I had nothing to lose (The only reason I didn't think that was because it just didn't come to mind) I did feel like if I were to die right now, I wouldn't care and I might even be happy. But I am not a selfish person and I know that if I killed myself I'd be causing a lot of grief to people around me, and I didn't want that. I guess the point is, is that, this is the point before you do start to get suicidal (for some people, maybe not you). You need to watch yourself closely. Your the only person that can stop yourself from going that far, nothing anyone says when you are there will make you feel differently about anything. I know how you feel, just don't let it get any worse than it is now.

So as far as doing stuff to keep your mind off of it, I personally did something which by some people could be considered bad for your health, but for others is a medicine blessed to this earth. I'm not going to say it because it's not really pg, but you can probably guess if your older than 13. But other than that I just did stuff with friends (except the one that caused this). We would just do stupid stuff that was fun, there was no concern about getting arreseted or anything like that, it was just pure fun. Walmart was a lot of fun, because you can just mess with people and nobody even cares that much. Other times we would walk to the gas station down the street, about a 1 hour walk each way, and on the way there and on the way home, we would just mess with things that we found on the way, cut through empty lots (there are a lot here, I don't know about near you), put the flags up on mailboxes, pretend to buy beer while at the store, just stupid funny stuff like that. You just pretty much have to surround yourself with what you think is fun and keep your mind off of her. Soon enough (sooner than you think) your love will run out, just like there's, not to sound dark about it, and you will have an over all happy life.

I looked back on this post just now after making it, and realized how much of a hooligan I was acting like lol. I guess I was being a typical teenager but it was fun and I don't, and never will, regret it.

Man, I know how you feel. I started this year on a bad start by getting dumped. Getting dumped and heartbreak was the worst emotional feeling that I ever faced. It took me around a couple of months just to fully recover myself but it took some steps to go through the process. The first three months of my break-up were very depressing considering that I didn't really want to socialize or deal with anyone at the time. It does take quite some time to recover and manage yourself back to normal especially with emotional pain.

Do not isolate with yourself from your friends and family! They are there to help and support you no matter what. I know it seems tough to do this process especially when I've been through this as well. You probably hate the world right now but do not close your doors on your family and friends. They are the ones that want to see you be happy the most. If you are sad, that will worry them and they get concerned about you. Whenever you are ready to talk it out, please do so. Different people have different perspectives (as well as experience) to help shed some light and perspective on situations like this. There have been people who have been through tough break-ups and heartbreaks and they moved on somehow.

Take the recovery slowly. Time does heal all wounds! It took me quite some time to go back to normal. All you need to do is accept her decision and her happiness to wherever she goes in life. I am sure that you expect her to do the same as well. Do not talk to her just because you miss her, want her back, or desperately want to talk to her. That will screw up the whole recovery and you will have to start over from the beginning. Some people who don't understand one's decision to move on, become those crazy exes that bother their exes to get them back or make their lives miserable. I am pretty sure that you don't want to be that crazy ex from your ex's eyes. The least that you want is more unnecessary emotional stress in your life. Also, do not try to fight off the break-up like nothing happened. People who are in denial, tend to still have that attachment over their ex and try to fight the hurt off which will make things worse. Also, they try to avoid the hurt feelings by quickly dating another person in some cases. There are so many things out there that you are clearly missing and needs to get explored.

Go out, spend time with your friends and family, and do what makes you happy and productive. Move on with your life at a pace that you can follow. Remember that you are in control of your own life and don't let anyone take that power over it no matter what. Some advice that some of these guys are giving you are very useful as well.

(As you can see from this, there are people who care and are writing this advice to you for a reason)  

A breakup sucks, especially if you were truly invested in it. Most teenagers and young adults might be in a relationship for a long time and break up, and it hurts, but it doesn't compare when it isn't just a relationship. When it is a companionship, it is devastating to lose. Like a part of you is gone. I am lucky enough to have not broken up with someone that meant that much to me. The first person I have had that close of intimacy with is my wife. But the thought of losing that is unthinkable.
One thing I want to ask is what exactly are you doing? You said you were okay, but it is getting harder. Are you spending most of your time alone? Do have people to lean on? It isn't going to be any easier working through this alone. It is important to build friendships that you have so you can have interactions. Otherwise, you are just stuck with living as a recluse. Personal relationships gives you more than online ones can.

I have been wanting to reply to this thread for a while, even though I have little to say about it. I know how much something like this hurts. If I didn't have my friends there for me I would likely be right where you are now. I could feel your pain when I read this, or at least a part of it, and that alone was awful. I may not have tremendous advice for you, man, but just know I think you're pretty cool and worth not just having around but enjoying.

I hope someday you'll experience the kind of love that you deserve. Other than that, I'm really good at the internet hugs thing.

Your way way better off without her brother, just turn your back, and head tail, like a donkey in a sand trap. She is nothing but misery, and will only bring you down there are plenty of fish in the sea, remember be as free as the wind and twice as fast, just let her go man. Besides when you get that awesome job go back to her, and in a serious tone say miss what you could of had. Then slowly, and stylishly with possible sunglasses on walk right on out of there with your chest out, and your head held high, knowing that she is so thinking about you now, and wishing you were her manly man.

This it not my 'usual' advice about such things, but I couldn't help but realize you said "you have nothing to loose". Then why take advantage of that feeling? Do something that people who are "tied down" can't do.

I know money might be an issue, but why not go a road trip; maybe have a map of your state/country/world on the wall, and through a dart on it, then take some dice with you, and when you have to make a decision about what to do next, roll them. Go with the intention of meeting some new people, visit a pub or an arcade, or a sporting even - something you enjoy, and meet new people and have fun with them. If you can afford it, try doing this in an other country, seeing a new culture can really put your life in perspective. There are some really cheap places to travel to that people don't think of, like in the south pacific and southeast or east Asia (indonesia, phillipines, etc) and portugal is cheap too. But even if it's just a road trip to New York or Miami, or something, that could be a great adventure.

But basically, give it more time, and try to DO things that will put your life in perspective.

Break ups do really suck, my last one was very hard, couldn't stop thinking about it for a few months. What helped was doing things to occupy myself and get my mind off things. Go out with friends or spend time with family. Do not isolate yourself it'll make things worse. Hope things go well for you in the Future. Sorry don't really have much else to say.

I'm curious, do you have any updates on how things are going?

Everything in this world happens for a reason, and it is a perfect system. All hardships are both punishment and a test, and I like believe there are two parts to this test. The first part, is mindset. Realize that you are being tested, and put yourself in a positive mindset. Don't be oblivious to your problems, acknowledge that they are there and do what you can to fix them. No matter how dark things get, remember that the deeper into the darkness you go, the stronger your light is. The second part of the test, is action. Change yourself, read self help books (Most people think this is a bad idea, I did too, but I read a self help guide by Spaztique called "Self Development Wagon" and it really pulled me out of my depression and gave me a good and realistic view of life, along with the help of a really good friend), and just do whatever it takes and what is worth it to make yourself a better person and get rid of your problems. I need to ask you, is your ex happy? If she is happy and you truly did love her, then you should be happy yourself. I recently went through a rejection that heightened my depression, but I asked for help, and then I read those self help books, and then I began to change myself. Now that girl who I was in love with is my best friend, and when she tells me about her long distance relationship I cant help but feel happy for her and think that its really cute, because I care about her and I love her. Of course, I'm worried for her because she is in a long distance relationship, but things seem good, and I really hope things go well for them. In the end, what I'm trying to say is that you need to realize you are being tested and overcome this. Your mind wants help, I know how you feel, and it is a good time to see everyone's perspective. Never take anyone's word as 100% truth, but consider what everyone says and decide if its true or not. Also think if you really loved this person, and if you could find someone else that you love. I did, and even though I just got my privilege to walk home with her taken away, I decided that I'm doing what ever it takes to get that back because I care about her. I realized I was being tested by the help of my friend, and then I began to look at the positive and now I'm really changing for the better, so don't give up! You're pretty strong if you have to deal with this stuff, life wont give you things you cant handle.

Koda : ok i waited till' i was 13 to answer this thread though phsychiritrist(← terrible grammer)is a good solution they cost money the best thing to do is get clerity if your still friends just talk hang out eventually you'll start felling better you would thing being around her would make it worse but talking with her and doing all the things you would do before she was your partner is a great way to help i've been there and thats how i solved it i got over deppression and felt better and i hope you can too