ok, here's the deal:

I'm tired of liking/crushing on/being infatuated with(etc.) my best friend. He's the only guy i've fallen really hard for and i don't know what to do.he already knows i like him and he's cool with it. and i really want to ask him out but there a few reasons why i'm holding back...



1. there's a high possibility he's going to go back out with his ex and i don't want to ruin that for him because he really likes her and she is a really nice person from what i know about her. the only reason they broke up was because of the fact that there's been a whole lot of miscommunication between them and they've already talked to each other to clear things up and everything between them is okay now. he's been through hell this past summer when it comes to relationships...

2. i'm pretty sure he doesn't like me that way. i know that when a guy likes girl a lot he wants to be around her as much as he can and would sometimes make himself look dumb on purpose when he's around her. i'm probably one of the few girls out there who know that and also knows that just because a guy compliments you, it doesn't mean he actually likes you and etc. and i know him well enough that if he really liked me, he would've asked me out by now. but then again there are times where i question the way he acts around me...

3.if we ever start dating and it goes really bad, i'd hate to lose the friendship we have now. he's the only really close friend i've got.

4.there are days when i really like him a lot and then there are other days where i'm glad we're just friends.


so yea. that's my story. i know that part of my problem is the fact that i overthink things way more than i should and that i am scared to try things because of it but then again... it never hurts to be cautious.

What should i do????
I'll take any advice you guys can give.

please and thank you!

one.. it should not be up to the girl to ask the man out, it should be the man asking the girl.. i find it is more respectful that way.. you don't see women get on their knees and propose. but if you find that, that is the only way things may work between the two of you, then ask him little questions like what he thinks of you as a freind more of a friend, tell him you feel ugly see if he compliments you..
pop the question ask him out if you feel he may not ask you..
maybe he does dumb things around you cause hes really comfortable around you.. he likes you a lot..
you only have one life.. you will never know how he feels unless you ask.. what would it hurt to find out? if he does then GREAT.. if he don't then you wont sit around waiting for him right? and if you do start dating, things start going bad.. then just talk with him try to solve it if it don't work then make the decision to be just friends again..

hope this was helpful..

my advice would be to just talk to him about it.

Ask him what his plans are with his ex... tell him you've had feelings for him and you want/need to know if there is any chance of that happening right now.

If he says yes then you get what you want and if he says no then you don't but that's what you're expecting anyways. Trust me, once you tell him and he says no (which has happened to me...) then you can start to move on. It's probably the most straightforward way to go about it. Until you resolve this with him then you won't be able to try dating anyone else (or at least it wouldn't be fair if you still have feelings for your friend)..

but that's my advice. Talk to him about it. Even if you do it online... at least you get it out. And if you're both mature about it then it shouldn't ruin anything. I'm still good friends with the girl I wanted to date a few years back (well... like 8 years ago ). Sure it's awkward for a short time but things go back to normal.

Originally posted by Gam3rG!rl92

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ok, here's the deal:

I'm tired of liking/crushing on/being infatuated with(etc.) my best friend. He's the only guy i've fallen really hard for and i don't know what to do.he already knows i like him and he's cool with it. and i really want to ask him out but there a few reasons why i'm holding back...



1. there's a high possibility he's going to go back out with his ex and i don't want to ruin that for him because he really likes her and she is a really nice person from what i know about her. the only reason they broke up was because of the fact that there's been a whole lot of miscommunication between them and they've already talked to each other to clear things up and everything between them is okay now. he's been through hell this past summer when it comes to relationships...

2. i'm pretty sure he doesn't like me that way. i know that when a guy likes girl a lot he wants to be around her as much as he can and would sometimes make himself look dumb on purpose when he's around her. i'm probably one of the few girls out there who know that and also knows that just because a guy compliments you, it doesn't mean he actually likes you and etc. and i know him well enough that if he really liked me, he would've asked me out by now. but then again there are times where i question the way he acts around me...

3.if we ever start dating and it goes really bad, i'd hate to lose the friendship we have now. he's the only really close friend i've got.

4.there are days when i really like him a lot and then there are other days where i'm glad we're just friends.


so yea. that's my story. i know that part of my problem is the fact that i overthink things way more than i should and that i am scared to try things because of it but then again... it never hurts to be cautious.

What should i do????
I'll take any advice you guys can give.

please and thank you!

---

_________________________________________________________

Peronally I would suggest that you just go flat out and tell him how you feel. Then if he ever does break up officially with his ex then he will know that you like him and might ask you out to make both of you feel better!

I'd recommend just staying friends for now. If you rush into the relationship and it messes up, then things'll be much worse. Clear your mind first, and ask "what do I really want?". And be honest to yourself about it too.

I, also, have a problem with love.

I've been really badly hurt by it. REALLY badly hurt. But I've fallen in love with a really kind, sweet girl.

I don't want to be hurt again, but I don't want to be alone anymore. What should I do?

Gam3rg!rl92: Wait a bit more, if he doesn't make a move you might have to. You can't expect others to do everything for you, you have to be in control of the action! Grab the reins of your life and use them to your advantage.

If the guy is a good guy, he will still be friends with you to the end.

Kanako: We are all afraid to lose someone at some point, but being afraid makes us miss out on life a lot, so just try it out. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger right? And if she is really sweet and kind, if this relationship doesn't work it will probably be for apparent reasons.

Not going for it would be the wrong choice that's all I can say.

clint_gagnon: i totally agree with you on the point that he should ask me out. but then again, i don't want to have to be waiting on him to make the move, because knowing him, it'll take him forever to do it. heheh.

geeogree: i know what the plans are for his ex, but i will talk to him about it anyway, just to see what he'll say. but i have a strong feeling that i should wait it out for a little bit more and then talk to him.

oakenlok: hmmm, i can actually see that as a possibility...

GIGA_Genomel: That's exactly how i feel! that's why i started this thread. and i know that from experience too... that people won't do everything for you... you have to sometimes do things on your own. (not relationship-wise experience though... never actually been in one yet. ¬_¬)

KanakoIsAHorse: i've done that before... and that's why it led to this thread.

and as for your problem, i agree with GIGA, try it out. if it doesn't work, then stay away from the dating scene for a while until you feel comfortable to be back into a relationship again. (not trying to sound hypocritial because of my problem but he does have a a very valid point.)


a huge thank you goes out to everyone who posted in here. it really helped and got me really thinking about things. and it is also helping others as well! (which is an outcome i didn't expect to be honest, but i'm very happy it happened.)

i haven't done anything yet since i haven't spoken to him for a while now. (we go to different schools now and the only phone he has is his mother's cellphone.) but i will update you guys as soon as something happens.

wish me luck!

Originally posted by oakenlok

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Originally posted by Gam3rG!rl92

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ok, here's the deal:

I'm tired of liking/crushing on/being infatuated with(etc.) my best friend. He's the only guy i've fallen really hard for and i don't know what to do.he already knows i like him and he's cool with it. and i really want to ask him out but there a few reasons why i'm holding back...



1. there's a high possibility he's going to go back out with his ex and i don't want to ruin that for him because he really likes her and she is a really nice person from what i know about her. the only reason they broke up was because of the fact that there's been a whole lot of miscommunication between them and they've already talked to each other to clear things up and everything between them is okay now. he's been through hell this past summer when it comes to relationships...

2. i'm pretty sure he doesn't like me that way. i know that when a guy likes girl a lot he wants to be around her as much as he can and would sometimes make himself look dumb on purpose when he's around her. i'm probably one of the few girls out there who know that and also knows that just because a guy compliments you, it doesn't mean he actually likes you and etc. and i know him well enough that if he really liked me, he would've asked me out by now. but then again there are times where i question the way he acts around me...

3.if we ever start dating and it goes really bad, i'd hate to lose the friendship we have now. he's the only really close friend i've got.

4.there are days when i really like him a lot and then there are other days where i'm glad we're just friends.


so yea. that's my story. i know that part of my problem is the fact that i overthink things way more than i should and that i am scared to try things because of it but then again... it never hurts to be cautious.

What should i do????
I'll take any advice you guys can give.

please and thank you!

---

_________________________________________________________

Peronally I would suggest that you just go flat out and tell him how you feel. Then if he ever does break up officially with his ex then he will know that you like him and might ask you out to make both of you feel better!

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She said he already knows she likes him.

i've decided to play it by ear and tell him when the time call for it....
and i'm within minutes of doing so....
wish me luck you guys!
*smiles nervously*

Originally posted by Gam3rG!rl92

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i've decided to play it by ear and tell him when the time call for it....
and i'm within minutes of doing so....
wish me luck you guys!
*smiles nervously*

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Good luck, I hope things work out for the best, whatever happens.

Originally posted by Gam3rG!rl92

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geeogree: i know what the plans are for his ex, but i will talk to him about it anyway, just to see what he'll say. but i have a strong feeling that i should wait it out for a little bit more and then talk to him.

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well, good luck. I was in a similar situation and I found that once I talked to the person about it and knew for sure that there wasn't anything being felt by her then I felt like I could move on, and I did. Hopefully this will either get you want you want or put you in a position so that you can move on and fall in love with someone else.