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About suicide - Why don't some people do it?
04-30-14 03:42 PM
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I see a lot of people talk about how they are going to kill themselves, offhandedly. And I know a few who have gone and done it.
However, something has always baffled me. Why don't more people kill themselves? Don't take that to mean I want them to. I would prefer people not kill themselves, but it's a perplexing question to me. The way I see it, humanity, and many other things in this world, are flawed. And I know my own view is not unique. I know many share my view. Logically, I could understand people who DO kill themselves and their motives for doing so. However, I become surprised when I find that suicide numbers aren't as high as expected. Sure, you have your people who say they will kill themselves, and are only doing it for the attention, but I know several people who aren't as vocal about it, and only ever contemplate the idea. The question isn't about the former, people who scream for attention. No, the question is about the latter, the people who think about suicide, but don't actually do it. What compels them to remain alive? What do they have, that they hold dear enough, to persist when they are clearly in a bad place? I asked a few friends, who I know have contemplated it in the past, and I got a few different reasons. The one I heard most though, was "fear". Just fear in general. I don't understand. As someone who has contemplated suicide in the past, this baffles me, because even I don't know what kept me from going through with it. I don't fear death. My theory, however, is that people don't actually attempt suicide more often, because of our human instincts of self-preservation. Even though we don't want to live, we can't not want to live. It's a base human desire. However, something has always baffled me. Why don't more people kill themselves? Don't take that to mean I want them to. I would prefer people not kill themselves, but it's a perplexing question to me. The way I see it, humanity, and many other things in this world, are flawed. And I know my own view is not unique. I know many share my view. Logically, I could understand people who DO kill themselves and their motives for doing so. However, I become surprised when I find that suicide numbers aren't as high as expected. Sure, you have your people who say they will kill themselves, and are only doing it for the attention, but I know several people who aren't as vocal about it, and only ever contemplate the idea. The question isn't about the former, people who scream for attention. No, the question is about the latter, the people who think about suicide, but don't actually do it. What compels them to remain alive? What do they have, that they hold dear enough, to persist when they are clearly in a bad place? I asked a few friends, who I know have contemplated it in the past, and I got a few different reasons. The one I heard most though, was "fear". Just fear in general. I don't understand. As someone who has contemplated suicide in the past, this baffles me, because even I don't know what kept me from going through with it. I don't fear death. My theory, however, is that people don't actually attempt suicide more often, because of our human instincts of self-preservation. Even though we don't want to live, we can't not want to live. It's a base human desire. |
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04-30-14 03:57 PM
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I'm going to bring up something from my past to discuss this issue here. I was bullied to the point that I couldn't take it and I would say I'm gonna kill myself. Then I thought. Why bother? I mean its selfish if you do that. Even if you don't want to live at least live for someone that you look up too. A lot of people tend to give up because they think whatever that they went through is enough to make them kill. So I say you shouldn't really kill yourself. Just for the fact that people have hurt you in a way. You could if you want try to fight it back however there will be more obstacles that comes your way. Meaning hitting you hard and then you would feel more depressed. I often wonder to myself. What is life? I don't want see people killing themselves, because of what people say to them. Build yourself strong and you would be in much better position than them in the future. But, there are also some people who just can't take it. Long ago my aunty came from church or something and she said she saw police cars. Why? Because someone was on a roof about to kill him or herself. It was sad to heart really. And that person actually killed his/ herself.....you just wonder can you ever stop people from killing themselves, because of what of how they grew up to be? I was able to pull out of that one luckily, or I would be dead by now. Its sad really when you think about it like this, especially about other people out there too. |
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(edited by Eniitan on 04-30-14 03:58 PM) Post Rating: 1 Liked By: supernerd117,
04-30-14 03:59 PM
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I feel like you are spot on with your last statement. It is mostly just a factor of self-preservation for many people. I have contemplated it multiple times, and fear did not exactly come into play. While it certainly does differ from person to person, it is most likely just as you say it is. Fear could cause some not to do it though, as suicide is not exactly a temporary thing. Once you're dead, you're dead. It is irrevocable. Not so much the fear of death, but the fear of what would happen afterwards. No one knows exactly what happens once you die, so if fear is involved, it is probably just a fear of the unknown. Now that I think about it though, it is probably a multitude of factors for most people, as some people do not wish to harm their loved ones. I have seen many people affected negatively by people who have committed suicide, and some of them just do not want to cause that kind of emotional stress. Self-preservation, fear, and the lack of wanting to inflict pain on others could all be factors. You never know. Not unless each individual wants to tell you exactly how they are feeling. |
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04-30-14 04:55 PM
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It is probably due to people wanting to preserve themselves, as it is natural for every animal to want to preserve themselves, even if they find life is not worth living. I think it's also because some just know that they don't want to do it in their hearts, knowing somewhere inside themselves that people would miss them, even if it feels like no one will. It could just be a part of their psyche, a hidden part of their brain that they have not been able to get into. People who go through with it usually can't realize that there is someone out there that would miss them, usually ignoring their psyche. It could be just that it purely was fear. Many people don't "fear" death, but many do not wish to die. I think they'd rather wait for natural causes to kill them, wanting to cling onto life. Like villains in games seem to do in many games. It could be any number of reasons. No one can really tell, and no one may ever know. It could be just that it purely was fear. Many people don't "fear" death, but many do not wish to die. I think they'd rather wait for natural causes to kill them, wanting to cling onto life. Like villains in games seem to do in many games. It could be any number of reasons. No one can really tell, and no one may ever know. |
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04-30-14 05:25 PM
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I could keep speculating all I want and the possibilities are endless, since not every suicide made are for depression reasons.
However, I can tell you why I didn't commit it several years ago. And it's actually because of fear. I do fear death and pain. I often thought about what if the pain of dying is a lot worse than the pain of living, even if it's briefer? I'm afraid of pain, not of the duration of it, but of how much suffering it will cause me. And that's basically what has kept me alive to this day. It's depressing and ironic, fear keeping me alive, but I'm quite content with my life now. However, I can tell you why I didn't commit it several years ago. And it's actually because of fear. I do fear death and pain. I often thought about what if the pain of dying is a lot worse than the pain of living, even if it's briefer? I'm afraid of pain, not of the duration of it, but of how much suffering it will cause me. And that's basically what has kept me alive to this day. It's depressing and ironic, fear keeping me alive, but I'm quite content with my life now. |
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04-30-14 05:55 PM
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At the end of the day, regardless of your stance on morality, our origins, or even our purpose, we are animals.
And there are 2 things animals are driven to do, every animal. Further the species (breed) and preserve themselves. It's been millions of years and humans still haven't shaken those goals. For them to be trumped would take something pretty significant. Most people aren't depressed enough to overcome it. It's like an addiction. You want to stop but you can't overcome the urge. And there are 2 things animals are driven to do, every animal. Further the species (breed) and preserve themselves. It's been millions of years and humans still haven't shaken those goals. For them to be trumped would take something pretty significant. Most people aren't depressed enough to overcome it. It's like an addiction. You want to stop but you can't overcome the urge. |
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04-30-14 08:09 PM
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Well, I can't speak for everyone, but it does seem for the reasons that everyone else is saying, self preservation and/or fear of death, or whats after it. (Or what isn't.)
I can tell you the reasons I didn't do it. I never feared death, or even fear that there is nothing after death, or if there is, that it would be something bad. I didn't do it out of fear, I did it because I learned there was an actual reason to live. I thought that I never mattered to anyone, but I found out that I actually had people that cared for me, and the thought of leaving them for my own problems was selfish. I might hate myself, but I live on because of everyone around me, everyone I love and know loves me back. I can tell you the reasons I didn't do it. I never feared death, or even fear that there is nothing after death, or if there is, that it would be something bad. I didn't do it out of fear, I did it because I learned there was an actual reason to live. I thought that I never mattered to anyone, but I found out that I actually had people that cared for me, and the thought of leaving them for my own problems was selfish. I might hate myself, but I live on because of everyone around me, everyone I love and know loves me back. |
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04-30-14 09:10 PM
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I will bring up a little bit of my past (which I don't do much). I tried it about 2 years ago, and failed (well i'm here ain't I?). I ate a bottle of pills, it is a feeling like no other. I am not going to bring up why or any of that. I ended up in the mental ward for about two weeks (worse than prison). Most people can't do it. Fear is a main reason, also what everyone else has said, the instinct to preserve ones self. On the topic of selfish, its not selfish. clinical depression is a losing fight and every day is another battle. Some times you just can't fight any more. |
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05-10-14 04:35 PM
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This is a hard topic and you guys seem to know a lot more about it, but I'll try to express my opinion about it too. I have never attempted suicide nor have I been thinking about it. Simply said because life is just unique and interesting and yes, life can be unfair and incredibly cruel sometimes but that's how life is. I fear death just a little (I don't fear a natural death, but I don't want to die of sicknesses or accidents) but not too much. If I ever would get the intention though to kill myself I would just think about all the people I would hurt and then it would probably fade away. I have never attempted suicide nor have I been thinking about it. Simply said because life is just unique and interesting and yes, life can be unfair and incredibly cruel sometimes but that's how life is. I fear death just a little (I don't fear a natural death, but I don't want to die of sicknesses or accidents) but not too much. If I ever would get the intention though to kill myself I would just think about all the people I would hurt and then it would probably fade away. |
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05-10-14 06:34 PM
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What keeps people from killing theirselves? I'd agree that it's probably the fear of death and hurting people who love you. Although most people who consider suicide are depressed and may think that there was noone who cares about them. But I think that there are people who care in the most cases. Personally I never tried to kill myself, no matter how bad I felt in the past. What keeps me from it, is hard to explain. I'm not fearing death itself as much as I fear death by suicide. I don't think it would solve anything. I have pride in living and I don't want to lose it by killing myself. However I had thoughts about what would change in life for people who directly or indirectly have to do with me, if I killed myself. That's self-refelection. Every human is thinking about the meaning of life and things like that. "What is important? Who am I? Why do I exist? Does the world even exist?" We won't stop thinking about these questions until we are dead. Everything we know has a cause or reason, but these questions are unanswerable. I guess you can say, life is meaningless, but death is as well. So I just live on and experience life. The good things and the bad things. Personally I never tried to kill myself, no matter how bad I felt in the past. What keeps me from it, is hard to explain. I'm not fearing death itself as much as I fear death by suicide. I don't think it would solve anything. I have pride in living and I don't want to lose it by killing myself. However I had thoughts about what would change in life for people who directly or indirectly have to do with me, if I killed myself. That's self-refelection. Every human is thinking about the meaning of life and things like that. "What is important? Who am I? Why do I exist? Does the world even exist?" We won't stop thinking about these questions until we are dead. Everything we know has a cause or reason, but these questions are unanswerable. I guess you can say, life is meaningless, but death is as well. So I just live on and experience life. The good things and the bad things. |
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05-10-14 09:20 PM
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legacyme3 : I tend to think about the question why dont people commit suicide more often. My reason for not committing suicide Is wondering what I would miss In life If I was gone. legacyme3 : I tend to think about the question why dont people commit suicide more often. My reason for not committing suicide Is wondering what I would miss In life If I was gone. |
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05-12-14 12:03 PM
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thenumberone : you beat me to it. Animals do four things: Eat, That's wanting to survive. People will fight and scratch and claw to the end to preserve themselves and their social groups. This is like the conversation about people being born naturally evil. People are driven to live, even at the expense of other humans. It's coded in our DNA and our ancestors went through hell and back to make sure we can survive. That's why I have a tough time accepting suicide as a correct answer with a few exceptions. I think it's hard-wired in our lives to not kill ourselves. I think people fear pain of death. I think people are afraid of what happens next. Most religions believe suicides go to hell. That has to be a lot worse than someone calling you names on the internet. Animals do four things: Eat, That's wanting to survive. People will fight and scratch and claw to the end to preserve themselves and their social groups. This is like the conversation about people being born naturally evil. People are driven to live, even at the expense of other humans. It's coded in our DNA and our ancestors went through hell and back to make sure we can survive. That's why I have a tough time accepting suicide as a correct answer with a few exceptions. I think it's hard-wired in our lives to not kill ourselves. I think people fear pain of death. I think people are afraid of what happens next. Most religions believe suicides go to hell. That has to be a lot worse than someone calling you names on the internet. |
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05-12-14 12:15 PM
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I think they are afraid. It takes a lot to go and kill yourself. Its not something you can turn your back on. Once you are gone you are gone. That's it. I have thought about it I think we all have. Its natural for us to think about doing it but thinking and doing are very different. I think it takes a lot of strength to actually do it. Even though its the easy way out. I mean can you imagine actually doing it. It gives me chills just thinking about it. Also more people have the instinct to keep fighting and pushing themselves to be the best to make it in this world. Where there is always going to be someone better or worse than you are. |
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05-12-14 12:45 PM
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Everyone else has pretty much already said it, but this is what comes to my mind as to why some people don't go through with it: Afraid of surviving. In other words, a failed attempt that could leave them worse off than they started. Brain damage, broken limbs, etc. I know someone who attempted to end their life by jumping off a building (I don't remember how many stories) and they survived, but I believe they broke their legs, and had head trauma. He is "fine" now, but he is embarrassed and not proud of that action. Or if you fail to overdose or poison yourself, and you end up damaging your organs. I guess my response isn't as positive as "because people have that strive to keep fighting even when they don't want to", but that's honestly another reason why some people don't go through with it. Afraid of surviving. In other words, a failed attempt that could leave them worse off than they started. Brain damage, broken limbs, etc. I know someone who attempted to end their life by jumping off a building (I don't remember how many stories) and they survived, but I believe they broke their legs, and had head trauma. He is "fine" now, but he is embarrassed and not proud of that action. Or if you fail to overdose or poison yourself, and you end up damaging your organs. I guess my response isn't as positive as "because people have that strive to keep fighting even when they don't want to", but that's honestly another reason why some people don't go through with it. |
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05-12-14 01:14 PM
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This is a complex topic, I think we have to look at that person's environment. I know some friends their faith and belief in Jesus (I myself am a Christian) has kept them from doing it. They have shared their faith in Christ, fellowship and knowing that there is hope kept them from doing it. I also think if a person has a strong support group of friends and a healthy environment than they are less likely to go through with it. I remember in my psychology classes we talked about how people, who have chronic health conditions, have no support, and not a lot of friends are more likely to go through with suicide. A person who has a healthy support group, friends, and are committed to his or hers religion are less likely to go through with it. I also think the person's health has to be in question. First of all I am not making fun of people who struggle with mental health or physical health. But people who have mental problems are more likely to go through it. In my biology classes we talked about people with chronic health conditions, that cause pain some people will commit suicide. So to sum it up, I think people who have a good feeling of health, have a support group, supportive friends and are committed to their region are less likely to go through with it, compared to people who do not have these things. I am also a Christian so I believe that believing in Jesus offers people hope and comfort. There was a time were I wanted to die as I was dealing with a tumor at that time. I did not plan on committing suicide. However, I found hope through Jesus Christ, and relied on my faith to get me through it. I had the surgery to remove the tumor in 2010. I believe Jesus guided the doctors hands. Now I know that may have been off topic, but I wanted people who reads my post to understand there is hope through Jesus. I remember in my psychology classes we talked about how people, who have chronic health conditions, have no support, and not a lot of friends are more likely to go through with suicide. A person who has a healthy support group, friends, and are committed to his or hers religion are less likely to go through with it. I also think the person's health has to be in question. First of all I am not making fun of people who struggle with mental health or physical health. But people who have mental problems are more likely to go through it. In my biology classes we talked about people with chronic health conditions, that cause pain some people will commit suicide. So to sum it up, I think people who have a good feeling of health, have a support group, supportive friends and are committed to their region are less likely to go through with it, compared to people who do not have these things. I am also a Christian so I believe that believing in Jesus offers people hope and comfort. There was a time were I wanted to die as I was dealing with a tumor at that time. I did not plan on committing suicide. However, I found hope through Jesus Christ, and relied on my faith to get me through it. I had the surgery to remove the tumor in 2010. I believe Jesus guided the doctors hands. Now I know that may have been off topic, but I wanted people who reads my post to understand there is hope through Jesus. |
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05-12-14 01:46 PM
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I don't think it is a base "human' instinct. It is life in general. Every single form of life has one goal in mind, which is to live for as long as possible. Even single celled organisms with no known active conscious and do everything purely by chemical reactions do everything they do with the purpose of sustaining. A fox will chew off it's leg when trapped instead of die. Wild animals would eventually eat something they learned to not eat instead of starving to death. The main difference between human beings and other creatures is that we have developed the intellect to articulate death. We are cursed with being actively aware of our inevitable end. We have articulated constructions of moral meanings, complex relationship attachments, and a more complex empathy. We created a sense of how our death would affect those who love us. Though at some level, we have those thoughts and feelings, I think that those are concepts that we have constructed that acts as an interpretation towards our living instinct to survive and strive for positive stimuli. Caring and compassion is a positive stimuli for us. From what I have experienced, those who end up actually taking that leap into suicide is because at that point, they truly feel that it is the best option. They feel that their own lives not only are complete misery for them, but serves no true benefit to anyone around them, including anyone who might be considered close to them.
But fear of what happens next, fear of pain of death, religious fear, or fear in general, I think is not a specific reason for not killing yourself. I think that those are all concepts that have been created to preserve the universal instinct of life to live as long as possible. That instinct is the true reason, everything else is a mechanism that preserves it. But fear of what happens next, fear of pain of death, religious fear, or fear in general, I think is not a specific reason for not killing yourself. I think that those are all concepts that have been created to preserve the universal instinct of life to live as long as possible. That instinct is the true reason, everything else is a mechanism that preserves it. |
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Dominating RGR Competition Hall of Fame Table! |
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05-12-14 02:16 PM
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Think of this: I can't name another species where animals purposely take their own lives. No other animal really commits suicide, do they? So, why humans? So, why humans? |
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05-12-14 02:52 PM
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05-12-14 03:34 PM
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tgags123 : You don't think animals are smart? They can learn like us. They're smart. I'd say some animals operate better and exist better than most humans. For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much - the wheel, New York, wars and so on - whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man - for precisely the same reasons. Thank you Douglas Adams. He has a point. Humans? Animals? Meh. For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much - the wheel, New York, wars and so on - whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man - for precisely the same reasons. Thank you Douglas Adams. He has a point. Humans? Animals? Meh. |
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05-12-14 06:59 PM
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warmaker : Animals don't commit suicide as far as I'm aware but can die by refusing to eat or drink. . That isn't that uncommon. It happens in many animals such as dogs and elephants. As for humans versus animals in regards to commiting suicide, I agree with rcarter. Are animals smart? Yes, many are. But comparatively? Assuming their lesser achievements to humans to be lack of ability as opposed to lack of desire, they are far simpler. When you start looking at things in Great depth, you open Pandoras box. As you ask why something is as it is, it can seem to be futile. Especially when you realise how much bigger the universe is than us. It creates a sense of insignificance. Pointlessness. I think it effects some people more than others. To link it to Adams, it begins to feel like we are just hitchhikers. Insignificant compared to life, the universe and everything. If we were simpler maybe we'd be happy with fish. But knowledge can be a lot like money. Many people feel dissatisfied with what they have, and the more they get the emptier they feel. It's often said that the irony of the human brain is that it can't ever comprehends itself. I'm not sure I believe that but it is interesting we can figure out the chemical composition of stars we can't even see with the naked eye, yet don't understand why we feel as we do. Maybe the final frontier isn't space but ourselves. warmaker : Animals don't commit suicide as far as I'm aware but can die by refusing to eat or drink. . That isn't that uncommon. It happens in many animals such as dogs and elephants. As for humans versus animals in regards to commiting suicide, I agree with rcarter. Are animals smart? Yes, many are. But comparatively? Assuming their lesser achievements to humans to be lack of ability as opposed to lack of desire, they are far simpler. When you start looking at things in Great depth, you open Pandoras box. As you ask why something is as it is, it can seem to be futile. Especially when you realise how much bigger the universe is than us. It creates a sense of insignificance. Pointlessness. I think it effects some people more than others. To link it to Adams, it begins to feel like we are just hitchhikers. Insignificant compared to life, the universe and everything. If we were simpler maybe we'd be happy with fish. But knowledge can be a lot like money. Many people feel dissatisfied with what they have, and the more they get the emptier they feel. It's often said that the irony of the human brain is that it can't ever comprehends itself. I'm not sure I believe that but it is interesting we can figure out the chemical composition of stars we can't even see with the naked eye, yet don't understand why we feel as we do. Maybe the final frontier isn't space but ourselves. |
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