EDIT: FINISHED!
Who am I you might ask? I am an invention by a company named Infocom. You know, that 80's company that only made text adventures for computers and some unknown NES game. I am the character that does all the tasks in Infocom's new adventure game, "Morindo 2: Mystery of Asthoro"
You see, whenever a real human types in a phrase like "Walk north" I'm programmed to go north or walk into the middle of the street and get hit by a bus. But does the real human see it? Of course not! Just a bunch of black text and white cursor blinking.

Though I am lucky that there aren't any grues in this game, glad that there isn't any "plughs" or "xyzzys", or pun's on Marc Blank. Though I'm glad to report that there are feelies in the game which include a advertisement for 1987's next big hit "Space Bounty" and a hint book is included.

So the player that I'm stuck with now is about to boot the game. I really hope he isn't some idiot who always repeats his same mistakes and continues dying.

So we begin Morindo 2! Basically from what I've gathered, I have no memory of the previous night and I'm trying to regain my memory but not knowing that I'm actually trying to run away from the police. I wake up, go east and face a door. I open the door and I'm in the kitchen. I take the pack of cigarettes and put them in my pocket to later use.

Now I go to my computer room which has a C64 with boxes of Alter Ego: Male Version, Impossible Mission II, California Games, Monty on the Run, and the best for last Zork. Great games that you should play huh!? So the person playing me tries to use the computer and here's where it really gets idiotic.

Advertising, there's a paragraph that talks about Space Bounty and how it will be the best adventure of 87'. My bets? Maniac Mansion will dominate 87' with its creation of the point and click era. Something you should have done Sierra!

So now I have to walk to the front door and open and go into the outside world where I meet the other people who are forced to be in this game! So the person controlling goes to the BEST PLACE EVER TO BE! The police station, though I can't blame him. He doesn't know I'm a criminal in the game yet.

And it's game over for him! The screen says Would you like to try again! (Please say no) And he types Y. And now I have to do all his commands over and over. Why couldn't he just play Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy. At least you get decent feelies!

So we start again, getting all the crap before and going down to the movie theater and seeing if I should watch either Ferris Bueller's Day Off or Aliens (Aliens was the better flick, but who am I to talk? I'm a character created by a f***ing company who makes computer games)

And after seeing Bueller's Day Off, we go into the middle of the street and I fall into a manhole. Brilliant eh? So the screen says Would You Like To Try Again? And the person playing this game unfortunately picks Y. And after an hour, I've died nearly 45 times and we still haven't f***ing finished 15% of the game.

Why can't I have a real experienced player try this game out and actually finish about 75% or more? But the person who played this actually has left (probably buying the guide book!) but I blame Infocom for making this game. Seriously, having your character lose his memory is a cliche in the text-adventure genre! At least Sierra could make a decent plot into this.

Though, here I am. The creation by Infocom who just b****es and moans about how he is controlled by idiots and no one can hear them.

Though if I could say something, why couldn't I be the main character of Zork?

Special thanks to DM for helping me title the fictional game by Infocom.