How long do you hold grudges? What do you usually do when you hold a grudge


I hold grudges for like a day or two... After that, I try to fix it. Though in those two days... I can easily damage a friendship or relationship. I've been told I was remorseful and it's true. I attack the person on a personal level when I know his or her personal habits and all.


I'm not like that anymore, or try to avoid it but once in a while stress and frustration gets me. Though once it wears off, I become extremely guilty and depressed a bit.

Well for me....it depends if that, person hurt me real bad. I may sometimes keep it on, until that person says sorry.

Well, I forgive pretty easily. But the longest I've held a grudge was three months.  But most of the time, I'll be angry for about an hour or two. But When I do have one, I'm just kind of a jerk to anyone in my way. Or just extremely passive-aggressive. For after the grudge, I feel for you, I feel guilty at the end of my grudges also. Because what happens to make me mad is no excuse for me to be angry, or rude to others.

The closer you and I (aimed for the one I'm 'grudging') are, the longer you're screwed. I wouldn't give a pancake if you insulted me and I wouldn't know you. But I would not be okay with the fact that were a person I, myself, trust and respect, dismissed and just betrayed our friendship and trust. Perhaps that is just my personality. On a positive note though, I don't feel offended that quick.

Sadly I can hold grudges for long times if you are not a definite friend or you're not my family. Luckily those people rarely do anything to me. But I hold them for about 3-4 months. To make things worse I actually only hold grudges for so long because I force myself to.

For years or longer. If you do me wrong then you are dead to me. Now if it is just some little stupid thing I don't worry about it too much or if it can just be solved with knock to the head then that's that but if someone really does something bad to me then they better just stay away. I feel I am a kind person if you are kind to me, I would do anything for ya as long as you don't cross me.

Anything between few minutes to decades. It all depends so much. Eventually I think I either forgive, forget or give up. I usually don't go and seek out an actual revenge. The fact that I don't forgive should be good enough.

I'm actually really bad with grudges. 

I've gone through my life being preached at in such a stereotypical way about how I should "forgive others" and "play nice with everyone" and frankly I think that's crap. If I know that a person is good, and just made a mistake, then by all means I'll forgive them! It might take me a little while but I'll come around, and I certainly wouldn't do anything that could permanently damage the friendship.

But on the other hand. If someone's just a terrible person, and they repeatedly engage in activities that reaffirm their terribleness, then yes, I will hold a grudge against them until they prove they've changed or (much more likely) until the end of time.

Im not that good at holding grudges......i could only hold a grudge for a few hours to few days. But if you really are bother to me...i will hold a grudge for weeks..until i forgive you.

I won't hold a grudge for long. On the other hand, if someone does lose my trust, I find it hard to keep conversing without bitterness.

When it comes to most mistakes, I'm a very forgiving person.

I don't hold grudges.  Who cares what other people say or do?  I honestly cannot care one bit about someone telling a rumor or saying something behind my back because I know my actions speak louder than their words.  If someone is mean on purpose, I simply ignore them and don't interact with them again.  If I'm forced to, I keep it professional and to the point.  There is zero social interaction.

But I don't stay mad.  I just don't care.  If I'm worried about other people all the time I won't ever be happy.  If I'm busy being angry at someone else, I don't get to enjoy what's going on in my life.

There's an old Buddhist quote: "Holding on to anger because of another is like grasping a hot coal to throw at someone else, you end up burned."

It means you're busy using energy on something that should have no affect on you.  Let it go, forgive, FORGET (forgiving and not forgetting is garbage, it means you're still angry and you haven't forgiven the other person), and move on with your life.

Depends on what the grudge is for.

I don't hold onto anger itself, but I do keep tabs on who did what to me for future reference, especially just in case some weird social scrimmages start happening of some kind. the thing is, you need to remember who did what to you so that you can be prepared to react if they try it again. But don't stay angry over it and think about it all the time, that's not good for your body or soul.


That is all.

Can't say i know how it feels. I find life is way too short to waste it on holding a grudge for another their words or actions towards you. I might not always forgive or condone what they did. But i won't hold it against them either and just move on normally. i dealt with Many Bullies in the past, but i never hated them, i never held a grudge for them. I just couldn't be bothered to care about it. And so in time i came to live by the words : Remember Yesterday, Live Today and Dream of Tomorrow

I admit, I have a baaaaad habit of holding grudges. Granted the action determines how long I hold it. If someone throws a snowball at me? I'll just hold it for the few seconds it takes to hit them back. If they steal from me? I hold the grudge for a much longer time.

It depends what they did and who they are. I have gotten in a lot of fights with my mom, but I usually only hold a grudge for about a week. However there is one kid at school that I never liked, then he stole my "girlfriend" (It was fifth grade, but it felt real at the time!) and was an absolute ass to me from then on. I still hold a grudge against him to this day.

It's not like I hold a grudge in the first place.



Between family it gets stressful on a daily basis, misunderstandings and the like,

but hard feelings never linger, it's over and forgotten before the day is done.



Between friends online is complicated, I'm still learning about how I want to deal with a few things right now, but holding a grudge isn't going to help at all, either I remove or confront people in my life.

becerra95 :  

Although it is not good to hold a grudge or be resentful, I think it all depends on the situation. Speaking from personal experience, I do know what it’s like to hold a grudge and I also know what it’s like to be on the other side of a grudge.

 

My teen years were not very good and I had my share of troubles and issues with friends. Some friendships were broken, basically due to the immaturity we all had at that age, people talking behind others’ backs and so on. I ended up leaving school and although there were several things that led to me making that decision, certain things involving friends and peer pressure were a part of it.

 

Even though I was resentful for a long time, I came to realize that it isn’t good to hold on to anger. In my case, I think it was all part of my maturing process and realizing my mistakes as well. There were several years where there was little or no communication with people who I considered friends back then. Part of the reason for that was I was angry at some friends for certain things that went on back then and for telling me before I left school that I wouldn’t amount to anything.

 

I became a writer and since venturing into social media I have come across some of those friends. Basically although it isn’t easy to forget some of the things that were said, I at least try to hear everyone out. Since reconnecting with some of those people who I thought I would never talk to again, they have been actually very supportive of what I do now and I have found that those relationships can start a new.

 

One of the things that kind of helped me get past my anger was just knowing that I wouldn’t want someone to hold anger and resentment toward me so many years later. The simple fact is we all get older and some things just aren’t worth being angry about. In my case although I am not perfect and have had my share of struggles, I probably would not be the person that I am today had it not been for the things I went through when I was younger.

 

I can only speak for myself, but I think that in most situations it is good to hear someone out. At least that is the way I feel about it. I do think that it depends on the situation though. Some things are more serious than others.