Have you ever been depressed? I have but I haven't in quite a while the medicene I take helps keep it under control most of the time. If you don't have depression problems have you ever been depressed or upset about at least something.. everyone has something that makes them upset.. share your stories here. 

My story is long... it would take a long time to put it all out there. But long story short, I began my journey of going into depression when I was 6 years old. No child should ever have to go through that. Many things have triggered and made it worse over the years, including the deaths of 2 close friends to suicide, 2 other friends to car crash, family friend to suicide, loss of my sister in a car crash, molestation when young, and mental and emotional abuse from the people who are supposed to be there to help you, not destroy you. I am plagued nightly by the demons that haunt my past and present and they seem very unlikely to disappear in the near future. If you want to hear the full story, You have to private message me. I guess it could be good to get some of it off my chest, but I don't expect you to ask for it.

Depression. That's probably one word and or thing that has hung around me in my life for a long long time. Sometimes I honestly think that all I know is how to feel depressed and depression doesn't mean you have to be someone who has lived in a terrible place or every single person in their family died...Like Bintsy said: everyone gets depressed or upset greatly by something that occurs in their lives at one point or another.

So for starters, growing up as a kid I didn't get to see my parents a lot because they worked hard day in and day out to help build my life to where it is now. So my grandfather Al on my mom's side of the family came to help raise me and take care of me each and every day. For starters...as a kid I just wanted to see my parents. Of course they raised me to about the age of 4 and let my grandpa take over but I never did remember any of that.

Later on in my young life I also started to notice that there were some weird and unfair things going on with my grandparents and family on my dads side of the family. That's when my parents sat me down and honestly told me that a good portion of my dad's side of the family don't even like me or my mom. Apparently they didn't even bother to come see me when I was born. But that aside they payed a lot of special attention to my cousins a lot. Took them places, always got them gifts. It was just something that made me feel like a complete outcast in my own family. I even picked up on how they acted differently. Apparently I was like a devil child to them because of my ADHD. I was hyper, I was loud, I never really broke any rules but they hated just how I acted like me. That's something I couldn't help.

As a side note, my Mom's side of the family wasn't much better but mostly on the fact...no one else by my grandpa Al and my grandma Norma lived in the same state as me and my parents except for my aunt Kelly and her daughter Katie. And even then, my aunt and cousin lived on the lowest area of the state. So family-wise...I grew up alone aside from having my grandma and grandpa be my parents.

So...fast forward some years to 8th grade or so. Over that time I got to spend very large amounts of time with one Uncle that started to come to town a lot from Florida. He was my Uncle Walter, or "The Candy Man" (And please...no one take that in a wrong way....) as my mother and I would call him. He earned that name because he always brought us some kind of candy when he came to visit. When I was able to meet and remember my uncle Walter properly, he was one of my best friends and family members ever. I say one of my best friends because..I was made into a social outcast by my peers because I had nothing in common with no one else except for my next door neighbor friend, Jared and I friend I had previously...but was...killed from an incident i'm not all that comfortable talking about. But that aside, uncle Walter was really something. He did so much for me and I had so much fun with him...until the end of 8th grade year.

He actually died on my birthday over the summer...and we got a phone call from my aunt about it..otherwise we would've never known. Sometimes I think it would've been better if no one told me.

So after that..High School started. I wasn't very thrilled or motivated. Especially after hearing that my uncle Walter's dream was to see me graduate from High School...so in reality..I just stopped caring about everything. My grades dropped, I didn't eat much, and I didn't even see a ray of sunlight..a lot less than I already had going for me since I never had much to do outside anyways. So life went on like that for two years...to very long years. In the end...I got lucky and someone saved me, someone who ended up turning into my closest friend i've ever had.

So fast forward about 3 years or so...High School is what it was but I got my act together during that time. My grades became all A's, I joined a Career Tech program for Electronics and Technology. I was doing it all...with a very small group of friends..but a small group I was proud and happy to have. Life was pretty good. I graduated, I had a job right after, I had friends. Life had nowhere to go but up, right?...

The same year I graduated, got my job, and started my first semester of college classes...my grandpa Al passed away. Not everyone believes there are special...God given moments...miracles...whatever..but..the thing that still gets me to this day is that my grandpa Al..held onto his life for WEEKS..and that was when I was finally able to see him on his deathbed because of my demanding schedule. To this day I don't know how he was able to hold on for so long..or how much pain he was in. I don't know if it was sheer willpower..or if someone from above was helping him conclude his business. So I sat down with him...and I just talked...of course..he couldn't talk back or do much..but I treated it as if not a darn thing was wrong. I told him about my life and where it was at. How I was doing and how I think I have everything planned out in life and that I know what i'm going to do with it.

Within a couple hours after that conversation and telling him how much I loved him and how much he meant to me...he passed away peacefully. And the on the day of his funeral..all eyes were on me..as I told everyone what it was to be a real man..and that my grandpa was the living example of it. No one else had anything to say. My family knew...whether the people in the crowd were ones I even knew or not..they all could tell that my words were the most important and the ones that summed up life for my grandpa Al and everyone in that funeral hall.

After that I spiraled into heavy depression...but it was all on my own. I didn't eat or drink much. I didn't sleep. I worked myself hard at my job until I was laid off the next year due to financial issues. On the inside..I was dying. Torn apart. On the outside, I seemed like your average guy just walking down the street. A big part of it has been an issue with my parents...we just don't know how to talk to each other because they were never really there when I was a kid. Which i'm not calling them terrible people at all, they love me day in and day out...we just...struggle being on common ground.

So currently...i'm a college student working hard to just have a life worth living and make a name for myself. My parents are helping me the best they can with my bills, i'm a member here on Vizzed, and i'll be having a new puppy soon. I've honestly come a long way without having to go to a hospital and I know not everyone can do that. I've often jumped around to whether I should be medicated or not...but I've been taking medication all my life for ADHD and I don't want to go back to taking medication again, even if its not for the same thing. I still struggle with my dad's side of the family..and it is true, those people don't like me at all or my mother...I do wish it was different though. But I reflect on what has happened. Somedays it beats me down, others it gives me strength to keep pushing. Each day I hope i'm making my grandpa and uncle proud of me.

So these are my stories and this is a short summarization of my life. They aren't everything down to every little detail but I figured i'd just start from the bottom and build up to where I am now. Hopefully it fits to this thread and forum well like its suppose to, if not just let me know. And if you read all of this..thank you.

zerothesaint : Wow zero that was pretty deep.. you have been through so very much.. your dad's side of the family should treat you better because your blood.. it's what matters.. they shouldn't be treating you or your mother like outcasts. You seem like a very nice guy but you have been through a lot it seems. My life has been pretty depressing as well but I have come out of it stronger and more positive.. I would relay and type my life out here but I don't feel like part of it is the time to do so. I have become more stronger and happier though which is all that matters. And you seem like your pretty strong as well which is a fantastic thing. Just hold in there things can only go better even if they go worse at times.

Bintsy : Life has been what it is. And the family just hates me because they hated my mother and I guess they also believe we're "rich". Hah..I can't lie, I do have a good life. I've been privileged enough to have a childhood full of games and toys and all that stuff. But even up to now with all they've given me...i'm honestly not happy. I don't know..my own family and home life has flipped me all over. Some days I just want to break every single material thing I have. Other days i'm thinking seriously about suicide. Some days inbetween i'm just curled up on my bed without a care for anything at all. 

Everybody can have a hard life and mine ain't nothing special. But its the fact i'm still here. Its the fact any of us that ever post in this thread...are still here. Recently i've been admitted to the hospital due to illness with the weather. I'm sitting in a bed right now...and its just given me lots of time to think. Its difficult to find those routes that allows one to overcome problems or become strong. I thank you for your compliments but I don't think i'm strong at all. I'm honestly just me. An emotional kid from the 90's who was taught to work for what I got and help other people.

As for yourself, Bintsy. don't worry too much about..getting everything out there. Take your time, pace yourself and your life. Its not about strength or anything...I think its about finding a moment in time where you're comfortable enough to face your problems as you would a monster. And slowly but surely you just let it out. Whether it be to a stranger, to a friend or a family member, your circle of friends, whomever. BUT..you are right about the positive aspect. When you can slowly conquer your Demons over time you see a brighter side, and it shows. But hey, everyone has their own ways and beliefs abut things...that's just me speaking my mind.

Just live life and try to find a reason to live for tomorrow and a reason to wake up in the morning...that how I do it. When it comes to the mentality and emotional aspect of life, we're all one in the same. It just takes someone to reach out and take notice that everyone else can hurt like the rest. You'll come through, Bintsy. And there are people here who will be ready and willing to listen to you.

Depression.....that word still hangs around with me wherever I go...Bin you know my story so, I don't need to say it. We all have to try out best to fight it but, then again it can come back pulling real punches right through you. That word can not go away ever. Even if you want it to. A lot f people have been depressed and whatnot during their lives...it can make you to give up instantly. Depression can cause so many things like the others have posted here, of what it does to you. Even though it is not easy to fight it. We must continue to try, no matter how hard it is....and also to make it easier for others even though you have your own depression you go through try to help them, you can never know that person may have something in common with you in a way...

I'll be the first here to say that I haven't battled depression.

I've had really sad weeks, even months. I might have been depressed but never "depressed".

I try not to let anything get me down.

I'm really sorry for those of you who face it and I want you to know that I have full faith that things will get better.

I have had a roller coaster ride with my depression up until now; I struggle heavily with it because I don't always recognize that I am depressed through the boredom until I wake up to see the world around me as a giant trash heap.  Recently I've neutralized the way I think to focus on life rather than all the baggage I'm given, but the my world never feels full leaving me drained and unmotivated at every turn.  

But I fight it, no matter what, I know that this state I always thought of as a curse is a part of me and to truly overcome the pain, I reach towards tomorrow.

zerothesaint:


ADHD is nothing to be ashamed of. It is a gift. You and I are able to think about things in ways that other people can never think about them. Some of the most successful people in the world have ADHD. If you don't have it, then you're at a disadvantage in some areas of life.

I suck at working with my hands, although I enjoy it often, because my head is always in the clouds. I'm never focused on work for very long, but it lets me think in amazing ways. As for depression, I've had it because of a few things few and far inbetween, one thing on Vizzed actually being ender 44 just leaving me as a friend cause of a debate.

My jumps ahead to fairly often, and it can make it hard to communicate myself, or portray very simple context. But the advancements of a hardinronactive mind and the encentricity are greatly advantageous in things like the Star Fox RPg, and those I would never give up.

I've gotten better at controlling my mind, so I can work better. (Just cause I'm different doesn't mean I should use that as an excuse to not work well for my boss!)

But I never give it up. Actually, I'm a fairly emotional guy- I just hide it cause throwing it out there all over doesn't do much good. I'm very very technical too, so I sometimes overlook things like peoples feelings.

But God takes care of me, he is the good shepherd, and his word is a light unto my feet. So I am seldom lost for long.

I pray for the best for you, especially in you current situation.

I have a couple of times, when something big happens. I used to take meds for a while to help, but I stopped a long time ago.

Yeah I have experienced depression, I think we all experience it in one form or another. I am currently a bit depressed now because a lot of my friends on vizzed have left and haven't come back which is a little saddening to me. But aside from that I am also depressed at school because on of my friends turned into a jerk and I couldn't believe it. I am also mad about that as well. 

So yeah I have gone through depression several times before, and I don't like being depressed, but some things really just get on my nerves... 

Yes, I am currently(hopefully) coming out an episode of chronic depression that's lasted for years. It's more of a hereditary problem than one that stems from any certain event in my life. I've had depression for so long that I've gotten pretty good at masking it by smiling and joking, so I won't irritate other people with it, but it's there all the same... exhausting and debilitating

I think everyone on this planet at some point goes through a bout of depression that follows the death of a family member or pet, or some traumatic event and it eventually subsides with time, this is called reactive depression.

Chronic or major depression, however, is a completely different animal, and needs to be treated in one way or another either through medication or therapy. It sometimes irritates me when people say "cheer up", or "look on the bright side of things", as if I hadn't thought of just simply "cheering up"... Chronic depression doesn't work that way, it's an actual biological/chemical disorder. It's pretty much a disorder that prevents you from deriving pleasure from anything(adhedonia)

I have dealt with my depression with medication, regular exercise, meditation and a growing network of friends(which is crucial), and I'm feeling better than I have felt in ages.

It bothers me that so many people misunderstand depression(in it's many forms) and are apathetic towards people with it. These people are left to fend for themselves, and made to feel guilty for being depressed. It should be discussed and dealt with openly(especially since is a problem that's growing exponentially), but for the most part it's not, and I'm glad you opened this thread.

I actually developed case of depression after I dated this girl for six years, we ended up getting engaged around the last two years and it was going well for awhile, then she grew distant and I found out she was doing stuff with one of her friends she made at a convention from some state far away, she left over a text message and it did a horrible number on my psyche for the next two years after that, I still haven't recovered fully from it.

Yes, for as long as I can remember. I really don't remember what it feels like to be happy. I have been on this medication and that medication but its all brain washing trash, I would take one and I would be almost a zombie, switch over to a new one and it would make me explosively violent and so on. I just deal with it, its like anything else I guess.

I'm a lucky one.  I've been upset or unhappy at things in life.  Everything can't be glorious and wonderful all the time.  But I've never been depressed.  I imagine depression to be a clinical diagnosis that means your entire life revolves around certain emotions.  I have never had it.  I'm an upbeat person and I wake up every day think, "Yes!  I woke up again!  Let's go attack today!"  And I go do my best at everything I do.  I try to separate some emotions from my day to day because I'm in business but emotions are wonderful things humans can experience.  They drive us and make us do things.

Saying that, I've never been driven to negative things from emotions.  I'm lucky, I have never had complaints about my life even if it hasn't been easy and I'm doing very well.  I'm just lucky.