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01-23-14 02:48 PM
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Tribulations part 1

 

01-23-14 02:48 PM
deggle is Offline
| ID: 966360 | 551 Words

deggle
deg2000
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hey guys just a warning this might be a little werid and scary so just warning ya. story start.

Chapter 1 is it a dream or not?

huff puff agah ahaha the kid breaths heavily as he runs down the dark chamber. gah which way left or right Left! what oh no a dead end huh? what's this it looks like a demonic face mask maybe i should take it. okay this time i will go right. bwa as I trip. ah!! ugh huh? what why am i in my bed gah! ow my arm! werid what was that a dream? or was it real? sniff sniff i smell mom cooking i should go downstairs. oh honey are you alright now? ...uh sure what happened? Mom: it seems you somehow broke your arm by falling of the bed and your head was bleeding so i put a bandage on it. then i touch my head and feel a hard thing on it i pull it out and it turns to be a chunk of blood (in his mind. what is happening here) honey do you remember anything? huh what is she talking about well might as well not worry her. okay my name is Kyro Yatishi age 16 my birthday is coming up soon. i have black hair it has a wave to it and is somewhat spiky. i have a cut on my right eye which i'm a little blind out of because when i was young it got cut and the color filled with blood. but it dissapered so it's my normal color again Blue. and your name is mamota and dad's name is Shinatoro. my litlle bro Kaia and my sister Trina. Mom: hmm you seem fine enough so go to school. Kyro: okay. then as i walk out the door i knew i did the dumbest thing that started this mess. i wish i didn't have to walk to school on this creepy path. ugh i.. feel.. sl.. sleepy. mm um gah! where did all this fog come from. aw just great i guess i fainted. well gotta keep moving on. huh? what's that hmm it a sword oh it must be Mr.Kawazaki's he must of dropped on the way to school for our battle stratigies class. but werid it has it's sheath and it's connecter string hmm well might as well put it on. well now i look like a swordsmaster. hehe. Kyro: gah what was that? hehe Kyro: who is...gulp..there. out of nowhere this werid looking figure is lumbering towards our hero. Kyro: what is that thing it looks like a demon. (use the Sword) kyro i forgot i had a sword. right then the imp looking creature grabs a knife out of it's pocket. but right then Kyro slashes it and it explodes into dust. Kyro; huh? no blood or anything it just exploded. whats that thing shining over there. huh? it's money woah! 43 renalds (Aka moment renalds is the money in the story) hey that thing over there Kyro: Gasp! it another mask like the one i found in that other dream. wait! that same mask was in my room. Kyro? hey Kyro!?

okay guys this is the end of chapter one hope you like

Eniitan:

NintendoFanKimmy:

AriaAngelDream:

vanelan :

yoshirulez! :
hey guys just a warning this might be a little werid and scary so just warning ya. story start.

Chapter 1 is it a dream or not?

huff puff agah ahaha the kid breaths heavily as he runs down the dark chamber. gah which way left or right Left! what oh no a dead end huh? what's this it looks like a demonic face mask maybe i should take it. okay this time i will go right. bwa as I trip. ah!! ugh huh? what why am i in my bed gah! ow my arm! werid what was that a dream? or was it real? sniff sniff i smell mom cooking i should go downstairs. oh honey are you alright now? ...uh sure what happened? Mom: it seems you somehow broke your arm by falling of the bed and your head was bleeding so i put a bandage on it. then i touch my head and feel a hard thing on it i pull it out and it turns to be a chunk of blood (in his mind. what is happening here) honey do you remember anything? huh what is she talking about well might as well not worry her. okay my name is Kyro Yatishi age 16 my birthday is coming up soon. i have black hair it has a wave to it and is somewhat spiky. i have a cut on my right eye which i'm a little blind out of because when i was young it got cut and the color filled with blood. but it dissapered so it's my normal color again Blue. and your name is mamota and dad's name is Shinatoro. my litlle bro Kaia and my sister Trina. Mom: hmm you seem fine enough so go to school. Kyro: okay. then as i walk out the door i knew i did the dumbest thing that started this mess. i wish i didn't have to walk to school on this creepy path. ugh i.. feel.. sl.. sleepy. mm um gah! where did all this fog come from. aw just great i guess i fainted. well gotta keep moving on. huh? what's that hmm it a sword oh it must be Mr.Kawazaki's he must of dropped on the way to school for our battle stratigies class. but werid it has it's sheath and it's connecter string hmm well might as well put it on. well now i look like a swordsmaster. hehe. Kyro: gah what was that? hehe Kyro: who is...gulp..there. out of nowhere this werid looking figure is lumbering towards our hero. Kyro: what is that thing it looks like a demon. (use the Sword) kyro i forgot i had a sword. right then the imp looking creature grabs a knife out of it's pocket. but right then Kyro slashes it and it explodes into dust. Kyro; huh? no blood or anything it just exploded. whats that thing shining over there. huh? it's money woah! 43 renalds (Aka moment renalds is the money in the story) hey that thing over there Kyro: Gasp! it another mask like the one i found in that other dream. wait! that same mask was in my room. Kyro? hey Kyro!?

okay guys this is the end of chapter one hope you like

Eniitan:

NintendoFanKimmy:

AriaAngelDream:

vanelan :

yoshirulez! :
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(edited by deg2000 on 01-23-14 05:27 PM)    

01-23-14 03:32 PM
tornadocam is Offline
| ID: 966391 | 77 Words

tornadocam
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Sounds very good for the first chapter. It gives you the feeling that the guy had a dream or a nightmare wakes up, and then steps outside to see it coming true. I can get the image that as he is walking out he finds himself in a video game world. I can also see this having a horror them with fog and demons in it. Overall, I think your story is off to a good start. 
Sounds very good for the first chapter. It gives you the feeling that the guy had a dream or a nightmare wakes up, and then steps outside to see it coming true. I can get the image that as he is walking out he finds himself in a video game world. I can also see this having a horror them with fog and demons in it. Overall, I think your story is off to a good start. 
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01-23-14 04:03 PM
Bintsy is Offline
| ID: 966428 | 32 Words

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Cool story deg, I am glad I took the time out to read it.. it was very interesting and made me smile mainly because you wrote it. Hope you keep writing these!
Cool story deg, I am glad I took the time out to read it.. it was very interesting and made me smile mainly because you wrote it. Hope you keep writing these!
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01-23-14 10:40 PM
NintendoFanDrew is Offline
| ID: 966675 | 39 Words


NintendoFanKimmy
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deg2000 : Awesome story ! I will definitely be looking forward to future chapters ^^! Also, I found it kind of funny I wanted to read this even before I knew about the summon (which failed XD)! Great job !
deg2000 : Awesome story ! I will definitely be looking forward to future chapters ^^! Also, I found it kind of funny I wanted to read this even before I knew about the summon (which failed XD)! Great job !
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