My wife and I have been married 7 years and we're emotionally stable and in love.  I'll try to be subtle with the question so I don't get banned.  we'll see what happens.

We're moderately to rather adventurous with marital relations and we're open to ideas.  I was talking to a coworker who's a personal trainer at my work and we were discussing parenting.  I made a joke about my uncle and aunt being 'in the lifestyle' and my coworker laughed.  I said I don't judge and it's no big deal, good for them if it works.  She said "Who knows?  Maybe you'd like it."  I said, "Wait, what?"  She said, "You know, through it out there to your wife."  She's married and we're friends with them.

I said, 'Really?" and she made a look that was like "yeah."  I laughed and we talked about business.  Before she walked out the door a few minutes later, she said, "Run that thing by your wife," and left.

So...

I'm 95% sure she wasn't kidding.  The other couple is about our age, very attractive, and this has been half-heartedly thrown in the mix between me and the wife as something to try.  I don't honestly know her reaction and I'm not sure if I tell her for full disclosure or if I just don't say anything and risk it coming out later as something I'm hiding.  I'm 95% sure she won't be upset if I don't say anything but there's that little bit that worries me because we have a wonderful marriage and we absolutely trust each other.

What do you adults think?

warmaker :

I suppose this would be better if this is discussed in a PM, but I'm going to put it in the open and be straight forward about this. If it is what I think you're saying then it's a definite NO my friend.  You are playing with fire and will "lose" your soul and all the 7 years of trust.  Trust me.  My advice - stay away from your personal trainer.  You say that she is a friend, but if she's really your friend she would respect your marriage and won't make such ludicrous suggestions.  If you love your wife and value your marriage, stay away.
If this is not what I think it is, PM me so I can get a red face and be over and done with it

Hmmm. Well a sort of food for thought. Not an advice you should maybe take. You could ask your wife what she would think about something like that? You might or might not tell her about this encounter. Just ask her opinion about this swinging business in general. If you have never really talked about it you could say this encounter, even if you thought you don't want to do it made you think what is her opinion on the possibility?

By now you should now what your wife likes if you don't think its a good idea don't do it . I also know some people who are on good terms with these type of things. All I can really tell you is don't think with the "head"

xxdougiexxfreshx : we've talked this sort of thing out before but it was more for fun.  My uncertainty is with the reality of it with people we know and someone I work with.  My wife won't be upset if my coworker said she's attracted to me but having something like this on the table in reality changes things.  I have a general understanding of what she likes and what interests her but the scope changes with the coworker.

Thanks for the ideas and thoughts, folks. I appreciate it.

I would say absolutely no. I've known people with "open" relationships and I've never seen them last. That doesn't mean that it can't happen but that this sort of things generally opens the door to trust issues. I would never do it. Not because the idea is repulsive exactly but that I know that the potential consequences aren't worth it. I value my marriage too much to risk it on something like swinging.