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11-30-13 09:56 PM
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11-30-13 09:56 PM
ProfessionalNerd is Offline
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People of Vizzed, I need your help.
As this story takes place over a few years, this will be structured as a time line format.
1st girl is grade below me, 2nd is grade above me
3-4 years ago: 1st girl on the bus tells me she likes me. Being shy, I say nothing. (Crush develops before this)
2-3 years ago: New girl begins riding bus.
Month or 2 later: We become friends.
Few weeks later: Crush develops on 2nd girl.
Another few weeks later: I get rejected and continue on with my life, forgetting crush.
Summer of this year: 1st girl and I start dating
Beginning of school this year: I realize I have lunch w/ 2nd girl this year. Crush redevelops with 2nd girl, jumping up from time to time.
Few months later: I tell both girls about the crush. I tell the 2nd one a few weeks before I tell the 1st. 2nd said that even after troubling times, we'd agree to stay friends (which we did), after I asked for some space between us. (I thought it might help)
Anyway, now there's a lot of tension between everyone.
So, interwebbers, advice? Questions? Rants for me being so stupid?
People of Vizzed, I need your help.
As this story takes place over a few years, this will be structured as a time line format.
1st girl is grade below me, 2nd is grade above me
3-4 years ago: 1st girl on the bus tells me she likes me. Being shy, I say nothing. (Crush develops before this)
2-3 years ago: New girl begins riding bus.
Month or 2 later: We become friends.
Few weeks later: Crush develops on 2nd girl.
Another few weeks later: I get rejected and continue on with my life, forgetting crush.
Summer of this year: 1st girl and I start dating
Beginning of school this year: I realize I have lunch w/ 2nd girl this year. Crush redevelops with 2nd girl, jumping up from time to time.
Few months later: I tell both girls about the crush. I tell the 2nd one a few weeks before I tell the 1st. 2nd said that even after troubling times, we'd agree to stay friends (which we did), after I asked for some space between us. (I thought it might help)
Anyway, now there's a lot of tension between everyone.
So, interwebbers, advice? Questions? Rants for me being so stupid?
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12-01-13 08:08 PM
warmaker is Offline
| ID: 934437 | 189 Words

warmaker
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So, the question is, "What do I do?"  I'm not sure I understand what you're asking here.

You told them both.  If they both said they didn't want to date you, that's the end of that.  They control the relationship and you have to take what you can get.  If you can be friends, go with it.  If it won't work because you're desperately in love, I guess you're in trouble because it's not returned.

Advice: Nothing happened over the past three to four years and you've had a crush on these girls?  It probably won't develop into anything that is reciprocated to you.  If you want romance or a girlfriend, start looking elsewhere.  These two girls aren't going to go for anything if they didn't dive in when you fessed up about your crush.

You're not stupid.  You're learning.  You're figuring out your feelings and how they affect others and yourself.  You're fine.  No one goes through life without rejection.  I recommend you don't take it too hard on yourself, figure out if you can have non-romantic relationships with these girls, and go from there.

Good luck, man.
So, the question is, "What do I do?"  I'm not sure I understand what you're asking here.

You told them both.  If they both said they didn't want to date you, that's the end of that.  They control the relationship and you have to take what you can get.  If you can be friends, go with it.  If it won't work because you're desperately in love, I guess you're in trouble because it's not returned.

Advice: Nothing happened over the past three to four years and you've had a crush on these girls?  It probably won't develop into anything that is reciprocated to you.  If you want romance or a girlfriend, start looking elsewhere.  These two girls aren't going to go for anything if they didn't dive in when you fessed up about your crush.

You're not stupid.  You're learning.  You're figuring out your feelings and how they affect others and yourself.  You're fine.  No one goes through life without rejection.  I recommend you don't take it too hard on yourself, figure out if you can have non-romantic relationships with these girls, and go from there.

Good luck, man.
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12-02-13 06:43 AM
ProfessionalNerd is Offline
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warmaker : No, nononono... You see, I'm dating the 1st. I had to retype this 3 times. My computer froze, or shut down or something. So, 3 times I tried to type this. Will continue message later.
warmaker : No, nononono... You see, I'm dating the 1st. I had to retype this 3 times. My computer froze, or shut down or something. So, 3 times I tried to type this. Will continue message later.
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12-02-13 10:11 AM
Uzar is Offline
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Well, assuming your timeline is all true. I would say stay friends with girl 2, and stay dating girl 1. I mean, one wants to date you, and two doesn't, but wants to be friends. You seem to be fine how you are to be honest.
Well, assuming your timeline is all true. I would say stay friends with girl 2, and stay dating girl 1. I mean, one wants to date you, and two doesn't, but wants to be friends. You seem to be fine how you are to be honest.
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12-02-13 12:50 PM
warmaker is Offline
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That's my mistake.  I imagined in there you weren't seeing girl number 1.

Okay, yeah, you're an idiot.  If you're dating someone or seeing them or hanging out, whatever, never tell anyone else how you feel about them.  You put yourself and that other girl in a position of failure.  What if Girl 2 tells Girl 3 what you think.  Girl 3 knows Boy 1 who finds out and Boy 1 is into Girl 1.  He tells your gf and she dumps you.  Now you're out on your luck.

Girl 1 knows now and is uncomfortable that you'd drop her at a moment's notice for girl 2.  Girl 2 knows also and she thinks you're slime because you have a gf and you're trying to talk to her and see what happens.

There's nothing to do except tell girl 1 she's your girl and tell girl 2 never mind and you're not acting on your crush.  In fact, lie and tell them both it really isn't a big deal and you're not even interested in girl 2.  That'll help but you have to ignore girl 2 from here on out.

Unless you like her more.  Break up with Girl 1 first, then ask Girl 2 out.  If that doesn't work, you're out of luck.  It's not fair to hold on to Girl 1 because girl 2 may not go out with you.  I've been there from the girl's perspective.  It sucks.

Good luck, man
That's my mistake.  I imagined in there you weren't seeing girl number 1.

Okay, yeah, you're an idiot.  If you're dating someone or seeing them or hanging out, whatever, never tell anyone else how you feel about them.  You put yourself and that other girl in a position of failure.  What if Girl 2 tells Girl 3 what you think.  Girl 3 knows Boy 1 who finds out and Boy 1 is into Girl 1.  He tells your gf and she dumps you.  Now you're out on your luck.

Girl 1 knows now and is uncomfortable that you'd drop her at a moment's notice for girl 2.  Girl 2 knows also and she thinks you're slime because you have a gf and you're trying to talk to her and see what happens.

There's nothing to do except tell girl 1 she's your girl and tell girl 2 never mind and you're not acting on your crush.  In fact, lie and tell them both it really isn't a big deal and you're not even interested in girl 2.  That'll help but you have to ignore girl 2 from here on out.

Unless you like her more.  Break up with Girl 1 first, then ask Girl 2 out.  If that doesn't work, you're out of luck.  It's not fair to hold on to Girl 1 because girl 2 may not go out with you.  I've been there from the girl's perspective.  It sucks.

Good luck, man
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12-03-13 09:27 AM
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It sounds like you just need to choose which girl you like, and date her. If you stop liking her, break up or figure out why that is and try to improve it.

By the sounds of your story, it seems like Girl 1 is a good one (she was ok with what happened), and put some space between you and girl 2, like you said.

However it's really only something you can judge, just be clear and confident in your mind as to what you will do.

Hope all works out for you.
It sounds like you just need to choose which girl you like, and date her. If you stop liking her, break up or figure out why that is and try to improve it.

By the sounds of your story, it seems like Girl 1 is a good one (she was ok with what happened), and put some space between you and girl 2, like you said.

However it's really only something you can judge, just be clear and confident in your mind as to what you will do.

Hope all works out for you.
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12-04-13 09:47 PM
ProfessionalNerd is Offline
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Ok, look. I had to type that thing 3 times, so there's details left out. Anyway, I will add that girl 2 and I are good friends (and have been). I'll try to clarify anything else as needed. Hence the "questions?" in the first post.
But, for the most part, all is good now. In reality, this was a *bit* of a test, (it did happen, though) and I just like to see multiple viewpoints.
Ok, look. I had to type that thing 3 times, so there's details left out. Anyway, I will add that girl 2 and I are good friends (and have been). I'll try to clarify anything else as needed. Hence the "questions?" in the first post.
But, for the most part, all is good now. In reality, this was a *bit* of a test, (it did happen, though) and I just like to see multiple viewpoints.
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12-08-13 02:17 PM
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Personally I feel as you shouldn't be in a relationship if you have a crush for someone else, it only makes it unloyal. But this is my personal advice. I mean I'm not trying to be rude, understand that. I'm just saying, Relationships need trust, and if you are crushing over another girl, don't you think your girlfriend might think you are still caring about that girl, or might try to be talking to her? Trust problems might break out, and only leave you with pain and stress. Honestly, I think you should just tell both girls you need time to yourself to figure this out because it's better to be single then to be in bad company or a bad relationship. 
Personally I feel as you shouldn't be in a relationship if you have a crush for someone else, it only makes it unloyal. But this is my personal advice. I mean I'm not trying to be rude, understand that. I'm just saying, Relationships need trust, and if you are crushing over another girl, don't you think your girlfriend might think you are still caring about that girl, or might try to be talking to her? Trust problems might break out, and only leave you with pain and stress. Honestly, I think you should just tell both girls you need time to yourself to figure this out because it's better to be single then to be in bad company or a bad relationship. 
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01-03-14 10:41 AM
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In my opinion I don't think you should be in a relationship right now. If you are dating a girl you think you care about but are crushing on another girl.. you need to do a lot of soul thinking. Ultimatly if you don't this other girl is going to start seeing that you have feelings for somebody else or are acting somewhat strange.. I don't think anybody can get away with this as of it is something that just natureally comes out in a relationship. If I was you I would make sure to find what your heart really wants because if not your going to crash and burn and lose both girls. Be careful!




Bintsy<33
In my opinion I don't think you should be in a relationship right now. If you are dating a girl you think you care about but are crushing on another girl.. you need to do a lot of soul thinking. Ultimatly if you don't this other girl is going to start seeing that you have feelings for somebody else or are acting somewhat strange.. I don't think anybody can get away with this as of it is something that just natureally comes out in a relationship. If I was you I would make sure to find what your heart really wants because if not your going to crash and burn and lose both girls. Be careful!




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