Well to begin this I should say that I live in Nova Scotia, Canada. And my boyfriend Ian lives in Pelion, South Carolina. We've met in real life and spent a total of four months together, we've been dating for a year and four months on the 8th of July. He is currently 21, and I will be turning 18 July 25th. He is coming to visit me July 22nd and staying for a month, while he is here we are getting engaged and married.. all with in a month. At first we didn't think we'd have to rush into this but we are currently working on getting me immigrated to the states on a fiancé visa, being already married seems to make the process easier. Though I won't be taking his last name at first we will still be getting married, my mind is blown and completely running around in circles! Don't get me wrong, this is what I want in the long run.. I do love him with everything I am, and I did plan on marrying him.. Just not so quick so my mind is kinda freaking out, I'm a bit scared but it'll be an interesting experience. I am excited both to be bond to him in that way, and to be working on immigrating down there to stay, though that process will take about a year. I'll have to go to Montreal at some point for an interview, that's gonna be fun considering it's a 10 hour drive each way. I know it needs to be done so of course it will be either way. After we are married and the immigration process has started we aren't going to inform the government we are married, at least not right away until they need to know. It's a confusing expensive process, but he's worth it <3 ..A month after he leaves I'll HOPEFULLY be going down there in the holidays(we are aiming to get me down there in late November), last time I tried to visit him there was a slight issue with the customs people in my airport.. Basically they denied me entry to that states and then Ian's mother talked them into letting me visit for a month instead of six, which was better then nothing. Hopefully next time everything goes well that way I can spend Christmas, thanksgiving and new years with him. ~ We are waiting to have an actual wedding ceremony when I get down there to stay, we will be getting married in a courthouse here. ~ He did such a mean thing, he described my rings to me.. But he won't show them to me! But they sound beautiful, both white gold with three diamonds on each one. Gahhhh! I want to see them so badly, and worst yet he's not even gonna let me see them when he gets here.. I have to wait until he puts them on my finger. ~ Well for now that's all I can think of to rant about, at least on this site anyways. 

They're a lot of people that has a long distance relationship which most are meet from the internet, like some people had boyfriends/girlfriends that lives in different countries, like me, I do have a girlfriend that lives in Finland, and I'm here in the United States.

Quite the love story this will be.

Congrats on being so determined to be with your true love. You've only been around him for 4 months, so you might be surprised about how he acts when you finally live together, but if you work through it, I know you'll be fine.

I too am in a position where I cannot see the person who means the most to me. A little over 3 years ago my best friend at the time had introduced me to her friend from California. I instantly fell for this girl, I'm not sure how or why but I just knew this girl is who I wanted to be with. So we started talking for a while and got to know each other pretty well over the course of 6 months or so. She calls me one day and says she wants to talk about something (I have a prepay plan where I have unlimited texting but very few talking minutes and so I usually saved the talking minutes for a phone call at the end of the month so it was odd that she called to talk). She said she wanted me to promise something...She wanted me to promise her that I wouldn't fall in love with her. She knew just as much as I did that I wouldn't be able to move to California for a few years and didn't want that to drive us apart. After tearing myself apart inside I promised her. We kept talking from then on for about a year and we were closer than ever but I still hadn't told her I loved her. Even though she made me promise not to fall in love she broke down and poured her heart out to me about how much she loves me and can't stand the fact that I'm not there. I keep my promises though and so I held my feelings in. This ended up pushing her away for a bit and she said she wanted to see other people. She started dating someone and it broke my heart. I never told her this though as it would have broken my promise. I started dating someone else a few months after and then my girl from California starts texting me again about how unhappy she is and has come to realize a lot over the past couple months. My new relationship really wasn't going anywhere and I had lost the feelings for her unfortunately and so I broke up with her and began to repair my relationship with my girl from Cali. After hearing all about everything that had gone on in her life over the past few months she finally apologized for making the mistake of walking away. I told her it wasn't really her fault. I felt it was more-so my fault for not explaining how I felt when she was opening up emotionally. But I told her I didn't because I didn't want to break my promise to her as I still have like 2 more years before I move down there. She apologized again because she didn't realize it was that, she really thought I had lost my feelings for her. That's when I told her I loved her. We made up and talked a bit more and are back on track together and happier than ever. Its been over 3 years since I met this girl and I still plan on moving down to California as soon as I can so I can be with her. Long distance relationships are very though sometimes, especially since its so hard to keep an intimate and sexual relationship, but if you truly love that person then it very well may be worth it to stick with them and find out. Best of luck to all of you out there who are having trouble, I hope my story can help you out a little bit.

beautiful nightmare : It's hard to live through, but I'm happy that you're going to get married!

Once you get engaged, you guys can just rent a home or apartment to live with each other until you can buy a house. That's my suggestion.

Congratz on getting engaged.  I'm sure you know this boy well enough to have the next fifty years spent with him alone.

May I suggest you take your time here and not rush an international marriage for the sake of a travel visa?  He's also 21 and you're 17.  In the U.S. you can't drink alcohol until you're 21.  He'll want to go to clubs and bars and you won't be allowed inside a lot of them for the next three years.  That's a lot of sacrifice on his part.

Good luck!

PixelBrick : thanks! But Ian already has a house, he owns it completely as well as his own truck.

warmaker : Thanks on the congrats, and you must have misunderstood me. We are not just getting married for the fact of having a visa, that's not at all why we are getting married. I will be turning 18 the day before our marriage, and he is not the kind of man who goes to bar and drinks. He would much rather sit home with me and play video games with me. 

beautiful nightmare : I'm sure he wants to do that now.  Five years from now?  Two years from now?  I've been married seven years and it's the toughest thing I've ever done.  It's hard and not something to be taken lightly.  I'm happy when people get married but it's a challenge when you're still figuring out who you are to set your life up to be with one person for a long time.  Your guy will change and he'll be different a year from now and several years from now.  So will you.  I know you hear this too much but it's us old people trying to set you up for success.


Do me a favor and ask yourself these questions.  Just try it and see where you fit:

1.  How are you going to make money?
2.  Who will handle taking out the trash?
3.  Who will handle paying the phone bill and the rent/mortgage?  Who writes checks?
4.  How many bank accounts will you have?
5.  Do you get your 'own' money or is it all shared?
6.  What hobbies do you have outside the house and your future husband?
7.  How will you meet people when you move to the states?
8.  Can you read each other's email?
9.  Will you have kids?
10.  Who comes first? Spouse or kids?
11.  How often will you travel back to Canada to visit family?
12.  How much debt do you both have?
13.  What are your views on him watching p*rn?
14.  Will you own guns in the house?
15.  Will you have pets?
16.  How do you two argue?  How do you resolve hurt feelings?
17.  What will you learn about him living together?
18.  What kind of insurance will you have?
19.  How do you two treat God?
20.  What will you and he be doing 10 years from now?


These are critical things to think about.  Don't answer on here (or answer.  I'm really curious what you have to say).  Again, it's no warning, just a thought that you have your entire lives together.  Why tie it up now?

warmaker : If I didn't try then I won't know, we are happy together and we are in love that is what we are going off of right now. The future will unfold the way it's meant too, I have faith in myself and him. I know marriage is hard, as does it. It's not something to be taken lightly, I agree. Marriage is something that binds two people by an oath. We've had many serious talks about the future and what it will hold. He may change, but I will change as well.. We will change together. I look forward to seeing what the future holds for us. 
1. I am going to make money by getting a job, as is he. For me, the type of person I am I will easily get a job. 
2. We will both help with the garbage, though in the end he will have to drive it to the dump
3. He owns his own house so we won't have to pay rent/mortgage, he OWNS his house already. We won't need anything but his phone, and that is already paid for every month. Along with his light bill, he will have money for groceries and we will both have jobs so money I'm not worried about really. Plus I grew up without money around me, I know how to live life.. Even when it gets hard.
4: We will each have our own bank account. 
5. I have no problem sharing my money, nor does he mind sharing with me. He will be my husband, we will support each other.
6. I don't really have any hobbies now, but I don't think it would be hard to find some down there. I could spend time with his mother, or tanning, or whatever really. 
7. I already know many people in the states, but his friends will be mine. We've met and we like each other, plus I'm sure over time I will develop my own friends.
8. We can read one another emails if the other says so, but we trust each other so there is no need for that. 
9. We will have at least one child, maybe two. We've talked about it. 
10. My children would come before anyone, that should be obvious. 
11. I'm not really worried about how often I get to come back to Canada and see my family. Honestly..
12. I have no dept, and neither does he. His credit is perfect, and currently I don't have any credit. 
13. He doesn't watch porn, neither do I. But if he were to watch porn I wouldn't mind, same vice versa.
14. He already has a gun in his house, I don't mind.
15. We will have pets, he already has a dog named Maxie and I love her. 
16. We talk it out calmly, after cooling down. It really depends on what we are arguing about, though we don't argue often. At all.
17. I pretty much know everything there is to know about him, but for the things I don't know.. I'm willing to take the risk and find out.
18. He already has truck insurance, and house insurance.. I am sure at some point we will get life insurance. 
19. Neither of us are religious.
20. That's for the future to tell, I'm not going to say for certain what we will be doing. But I can hope we are still together, happy and possibly have children by then. 

You can ask me all the questions you'd like, weather they be asked publicly or in private, I don't mind. I know I am young to be getting married, but honestly right now this is the best thing. It's what I want to do, I've thought about it nice and hard, I've made up my mind and so has he. Both of us want this. 

beautiful nightmare : honestly i'm surprised you're getting it to work, long distance relationships usually NEVER work, so congratulations on that front

I have tried 2 and I just find myself start liking other people way to easily because there is no physical interaction so I am just dying to do something with a actual person and it just ends up failing.

UFC : I'm not the type of person to be able to have a long distance relationship, I've tried it before and failed. But with him it's different. You just have to find that one person, that'd you'd do anything to be with. Ian is that person for me. I'd put myself anything for him, including being away from him. In the end we will be living together and happy, that's what makes it all worth it. I personally crave the touch of my lover, but in this case I can only have it during certain times.. yes, it's hard but he is worth it.

beautiful nightmare : Well I must that is admirable that takes a lot of restrain and patience among other things, and it is amazing that you got it to wok for you. So i hope it continue sworking out for you

That's pretty good that you can pull that off. I'm not the type at all, although I might be able to do it in the event that I've been with someone for a while.