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Wings of Orion
one of my first unfinished stories, one of my best
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06-19-09 12:33 PM
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Wings of Orion

 

06-19-09 12:33 PM
DarkestHour14 is Offline
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A part of another unfinished story, again revolving around wings...this is the last section I managed to finish before writer's block took over. These are the last 3 of 19 pages. I really wanted to finish it, but when I wrote about 10 pages of it, a new book by Patterson called Maximum Ride came out, some of the elements seems way too similar so I decided not to finsh it. They are completely different stories but the idea of genetically altered humans so they can have wings...i dont know it just kind of killed it for me. Hope you enjoy!!




Eriada sat in her cell, hugging her knees close to her body, trying to draw some warmth. Her cell was rather large, but it remained perpetually cold and wet. The air was stale and there was an unnamable odor that she did not wish to identify. There was an eerie laughter coming from a cell down the hall, followed by the repeated thwacking of the person hitting their head on the cell door. Fresh tears flowed down her face as she remembered her best friend; she hid her face in her hands. She looked up, through the small slitted window at the stars. They were cold, remote and distant, unaware of her strife on earth. She had always looked to them for comfort, but now they provided only a larger hollow space for her grief and anger to fill.
As she fought to control her breathing, she noticed for the first time, another rhythm of breathing coming from the other side of her dank quarters.
"Who's there?" she said tremulously. "Come out, I know you're there!"
She heard a shuffling, and slowly the figure came into the light.
He was tall, skinny (no doubt from life in prison), and had gloriously dark skin.
"What do you want, young one?" the man asked in a low, musical voice. He sounded like one from the commercials for Island Paradise vacations that she had heard in the city on their great ether message boards.
'Young one?' Eriada was puzzled, she thought the man was around her age, but as he stepped into the light, she noticed for the first time the slight wrinkles around his eyes and laugh lines around his mouth.
The man burst out laughing, which startled Eriada, since everything was so quiet. It was a rich laugh, full of warmth and Eriada couldn't help smiling.
"Yes, Young One; I am more than twice your age!" His teeth flashed in a huge white smile as he laughed some more.
The crazy woman down the corridor answered back with a screeching laugh that ended in her hacking.
He extended a large hand that dwarfed Eriada's. "My name is Syroco, and I have been in this cell longer than your years on this planet."
"I-I am Eriada," she stuttered, "And I have been here a total of...."
She trailed off as she noticed his eyes, which like her own, were a startling shade of purple. She had never seen anyone else with purple eyes. "Who? Um....what, I mean--Where are you from?"
Syroco noticed her eyes as well and sat down where he once stood, and looked at her thoughtfully.
"It seems there is more to you, Young One, than I originally thought. Strong in spirit, yes, but I had no idea that....heh. Is it not strange how the gods play tricks? It seems we were destined to meet."
"I don't understand...do I know you from somewhere? Are we related?" Eriada was getting a headache, she didn't like being confused.
"Are we related? Indeed.....in a very strange and very broad way, we are siblings. Had this been like old times, you would not be so confused, or so undeveloped in your Spirit." He sunk into his mind, just thinking, when finally he stood up, and Eriada stood up as well, feeling jittery and tired. Syroco looked alarmed, but ever calm, he said evenly,
"We must get out of here Young One, if my suspicions are correct, you will have an assassin sent upon you shortly. And when they find me....well. Let us just hope and pray that we did not waste too much time."
A low hissing came from the other side of the cell, and both Eriada and Syroco turned to look.
"Hehe...oh you wasted your time all right. And now, old man, step away from the girl and you will not be harmed."
Malen's distorted face loomed out of the darkness. He cackled and stroked his claws against the bars.
"I think we both know that your intention does not involve either of our lives intact, Shadowspawn." Replied Syroco. "Despite your orders to bring her back alive, you will find some way to fill your bloodlust by slaking your thirst on us."
"Get out of my head, Angelian…well fine." Malen said, a sick smile on his face. "If you will not come, and you claim to know me so well, I will say you resisted, and had to be punished!"
He snarled and ripped the entire barred door from it's hinge and threw it down the hall. Eriada gasped in fright and disbelief. "Is this happening...?" she whispered.
"I assure you," Syroco breathed. "This is as real as it gets. Stay with me."
Eriada had her doubts about this malnourished, stringy looking man, and had planned on running with or without him. But she said nothing and stood a little closer to him. Instead of running like she thought they would do, they just stood there. Eriada's head was screaming, "get out! RUN!", but Syroco had a grip on her arm, and was staring at Malen. For the first time she noticed his wings, sparsely hairy, filled with holes, and the leathery skin blew fetid waves over them, drowning them in the stench.
Syroco pressed the back of his hand to his forehead, then brought his fist down to his heart, and when he threw his arm out to the side, Eriada heard a painful rending of skin, and looked up at Syroco to see his face distorted in pain.
Great, Eriada thought. He’s having a heart attack!
"What are you doing!?" Malen screeched. He looked nervous, clacking his claws against the stone floor. (His arms were ridiculously long...) "Arrgh! Impossible! No matter! You’re both going to die!"
He lunged for them, reaching his evil-looking hand out to Eriada's neck, but just as he was about to slice her skin, she was pulled forcefully back, and then nearly had whiplash as she was thrown forward. Now she was moving blindingly fast through the cell, past the astonished guards, and finally out into the night.
She looked around, flailing almost, because she was so excited that she was flying.
"Please hold still, Young One, I am not as strong as I should be."
She contorted her face up to see Syroco looking delightfully happy, huge mottled wings beating on either side of him. His arms holding her tight, she looked around in wonder and nearly laughed in a fit of bliss.
But just as she was about to speak, a black curtain filled her vision, until Malen's red, runny eyes met hers.
"Thought you could get away, hmm?" he hissed a laugh and barrel rolled around, coming up behind Syroco, and raking his claws up his back. Syroco screamed an unearthly scream, and let go of Eriada.
"Syroco!" she screamed, flinging her hand up so he might take it. She only grasped the night sky, and felt her stomach flip, and she tried not to think of the sickening splat she would make on the ground. She tried spreading herself out to slow down, but then long, branch-like arms folded around her middle, knocking the wind out of her.
"Hey there, girlie!" Malen yelled in her ear, holding her close.
Eriada screamed and wriggled, the idea of being so close to such a disgusting creature repulsed her, and his touch seemed to burn her. She screamed in pain, and steam rose from the places he had contact with her skin. Malen soared higher into the air, laughing wickedly. He perched at the top of a tall building in town, standing beside the equally gruesome stone gargoyles. He held Eriada by her neck, and she gripped his hand even though it burned.
“Orion won’t be too happy about this, ehehee! And Dr. Kirstle will have to deal with it.”
Eriada felt her skin start to blister, and she couldn’t breathe. “Bye girlie!” Male hissed and released her.
She was so relieved to be free of his burning grip that she didn’t even mind the idea of falling to her death. But she knew she was falling too fast and that eventually she would break her neck. A sense of hopelessness enveloped her, as she feebly looked around for a place to hold on to. In the end she just turned her eyes down, waiting for impact.
“Hope is not gone yet, Young One!”
Eriada felt a strong hand grip her shirt and gently bring her to the ground. She whipped around to hug Syroco and tried to get her trembling limbs under control. What’s going on? Eriada thought. Demons and angels? No, Monsters that shouldn’t be real and winged men.
“Young One, now is not the time to think. Now we must run.” Syroco said, staring up at the top of the building, where Malen’s shrieks were raining down on them. He gently held Eriada, trying to avoid her burns, and turned to take off.
“No so fassst…Sssyroco Patchwing.”
Eriada became worried immediately as she saw Syroco’s eyes widen in horror. Putting his calm mask back on, he turned slowly to the strange people dressed entirely in black.
“Salenians,” Syroco said cheerily. “I thought you had all been sealed in the depths of the ocean?”
“And we…” they breathed. “Thought the Angelusss were…exterminated; As decreed by the Great Zens’salena.
“It seems you thought wrong. Our numbers our diminished, yes, but we still live.”
The ones in black visibly winced, but quickly recovered and circled him.
“You…and the girl…must die.”
“I thought the Doctor wanted her?”
“His wishes are of no concern to Zens’salena. Hand her over and we will not harm her.”
“You do not wish to fight me?”
“You have aged, Syroco…but we are not foolish enough to take on an Angelus. Once we revive…ancient technology…you will die.”
“Surely you do not need the girl, she is only part angelus. Does it really take all eight of you, to destroy half an Angelus?”
Eriada wasn’t sure she heard right. She was half angelus? Could she fly…?
“What!?” they rasped. Their voices became quicker, “If she is half like you say…why not take her to the other Angelus?”
“She will not be accepted fully among our kind. You know how it is—the half breeds are shunned. It was not always so, but with that new Head Angelus…”
“There are enough of you…to reestablish your order?” the Salenians rasped in horror.
Syroco shrugged. “Give or take a few…hundred. But it is none of your concern. Your primary concern at this moment it killing this child, who possesses no less than half of Angelus blood has another blood type which you are unable to harm.”
“Thisss...You are false and tricky Sssyroco—we will leave you, for now, but Zens’salena will hear of thisss.”
“I am aware. But I also know that he cannot kill her no more than you can.”
The Salenians narrowed their eyes at him, and began to fade into the shadows until they disappeared altogether.
A part of another unfinished story, again revolving around wings...this is the last section I managed to finish before writer's block took over. These are the last 3 of 19 pages. I really wanted to finish it, but when I wrote about 10 pages of it, a new book by Patterson called Maximum Ride came out, some of the elements seems way too similar so I decided not to finsh it. They are completely different stories but the idea of genetically altered humans so they can have wings...i dont know it just kind of killed it for me. Hope you enjoy!!




Eriada sat in her cell, hugging her knees close to her body, trying to draw some warmth. Her cell was rather large, but it remained perpetually cold and wet. The air was stale and there was an unnamable odor that she did not wish to identify. There was an eerie laughter coming from a cell down the hall, followed by the repeated thwacking of the person hitting their head on the cell door. Fresh tears flowed down her face as she remembered her best friend; she hid her face in her hands. She looked up, through the small slitted window at the stars. They were cold, remote and distant, unaware of her strife on earth. She had always looked to them for comfort, but now they provided only a larger hollow space for her grief and anger to fill.
As she fought to control her breathing, she noticed for the first time, another rhythm of breathing coming from the other side of her dank quarters.
"Who's there?" she said tremulously. "Come out, I know you're there!"
She heard a shuffling, and slowly the figure came into the light.
He was tall, skinny (no doubt from life in prison), and had gloriously dark skin.
"What do you want, young one?" the man asked in a low, musical voice. He sounded like one from the commercials for Island Paradise vacations that she had heard in the city on their great ether message boards.
'Young one?' Eriada was puzzled, she thought the man was around her age, but as he stepped into the light, she noticed for the first time the slight wrinkles around his eyes and laugh lines around his mouth.
The man burst out laughing, which startled Eriada, since everything was so quiet. It was a rich laugh, full of warmth and Eriada couldn't help smiling.
"Yes, Young One; I am more than twice your age!" His teeth flashed in a huge white smile as he laughed some more.
The crazy woman down the corridor answered back with a screeching laugh that ended in her hacking.
He extended a large hand that dwarfed Eriada's. "My name is Syroco, and I have been in this cell longer than your years on this planet."
"I-I am Eriada," she stuttered, "And I have been here a total of...."
She trailed off as she noticed his eyes, which like her own, were a startling shade of purple. She had never seen anyone else with purple eyes. "Who? Um....what, I mean--Where are you from?"
Syroco noticed her eyes as well and sat down where he once stood, and looked at her thoughtfully.
"It seems there is more to you, Young One, than I originally thought. Strong in spirit, yes, but I had no idea that....heh. Is it not strange how the gods play tricks? It seems we were destined to meet."
"I don't understand...do I know you from somewhere? Are we related?" Eriada was getting a headache, she didn't like being confused.
"Are we related? Indeed.....in a very strange and very broad way, we are siblings. Had this been like old times, you would not be so confused, or so undeveloped in your Spirit." He sunk into his mind, just thinking, when finally he stood up, and Eriada stood up as well, feeling jittery and tired. Syroco looked alarmed, but ever calm, he said evenly,
"We must get out of here Young One, if my suspicions are correct, you will have an assassin sent upon you shortly. And when they find me....well. Let us just hope and pray that we did not waste too much time."
A low hissing came from the other side of the cell, and both Eriada and Syroco turned to look.
"Hehe...oh you wasted your time all right. And now, old man, step away from the girl and you will not be harmed."
Malen's distorted face loomed out of the darkness. He cackled and stroked his claws against the bars.
"I think we both know that your intention does not involve either of our lives intact, Shadowspawn." Replied Syroco. "Despite your orders to bring her back alive, you will find some way to fill your bloodlust by slaking your thirst on us."
"Get out of my head, Angelian…well fine." Malen said, a sick smile on his face. "If you will not come, and you claim to know me so well, I will say you resisted, and had to be punished!"
He snarled and ripped the entire barred door from it's hinge and threw it down the hall. Eriada gasped in fright and disbelief. "Is this happening...?" she whispered.
"I assure you," Syroco breathed. "This is as real as it gets. Stay with me."
Eriada had her doubts about this malnourished, stringy looking man, and had planned on running with or without him. But she said nothing and stood a little closer to him. Instead of running like she thought they would do, they just stood there. Eriada's head was screaming, "get out! RUN!", but Syroco had a grip on her arm, and was staring at Malen. For the first time she noticed his wings, sparsely hairy, filled with holes, and the leathery skin blew fetid waves over them, drowning them in the stench.
Syroco pressed the back of his hand to his forehead, then brought his fist down to his heart, and when he threw his arm out to the side, Eriada heard a painful rending of skin, and looked up at Syroco to see his face distorted in pain.
Great, Eriada thought. He’s having a heart attack!
"What are you doing!?" Malen screeched. He looked nervous, clacking his claws against the stone floor. (His arms were ridiculously long...) "Arrgh! Impossible! No matter! You’re both going to die!"
He lunged for them, reaching his evil-looking hand out to Eriada's neck, but just as he was about to slice her skin, she was pulled forcefully back, and then nearly had whiplash as she was thrown forward. Now she was moving blindingly fast through the cell, past the astonished guards, and finally out into the night.
She looked around, flailing almost, because she was so excited that she was flying.
"Please hold still, Young One, I am not as strong as I should be."
She contorted her face up to see Syroco looking delightfully happy, huge mottled wings beating on either side of him. His arms holding her tight, she looked around in wonder and nearly laughed in a fit of bliss.
But just as she was about to speak, a black curtain filled her vision, until Malen's red, runny eyes met hers.
"Thought you could get away, hmm?" he hissed a laugh and barrel rolled around, coming up behind Syroco, and raking his claws up his back. Syroco screamed an unearthly scream, and let go of Eriada.
"Syroco!" she screamed, flinging her hand up so he might take it. She only grasped the night sky, and felt her stomach flip, and she tried not to think of the sickening splat she would make on the ground. She tried spreading herself out to slow down, but then long, branch-like arms folded around her middle, knocking the wind out of her.
"Hey there, girlie!" Malen yelled in her ear, holding her close.
Eriada screamed and wriggled, the idea of being so close to such a disgusting creature repulsed her, and his touch seemed to burn her. She screamed in pain, and steam rose from the places he had contact with her skin. Malen soared higher into the air, laughing wickedly. He perched at the top of a tall building in town, standing beside the equally gruesome stone gargoyles. He held Eriada by her neck, and she gripped his hand even though it burned.
“Orion won’t be too happy about this, ehehee! And Dr. Kirstle will have to deal with it.”
Eriada felt her skin start to blister, and she couldn’t breathe. “Bye girlie!” Male hissed and released her.
She was so relieved to be free of his burning grip that she didn’t even mind the idea of falling to her death. But she knew she was falling too fast and that eventually she would break her neck. A sense of hopelessness enveloped her, as she feebly looked around for a place to hold on to. In the end she just turned her eyes down, waiting for impact.
“Hope is not gone yet, Young One!”
Eriada felt a strong hand grip her shirt and gently bring her to the ground. She whipped around to hug Syroco and tried to get her trembling limbs under control. What’s going on? Eriada thought. Demons and angels? No, Monsters that shouldn’t be real and winged men.
“Young One, now is not the time to think. Now we must run.” Syroco said, staring up at the top of the building, where Malen’s shrieks were raining down on them. He gently held Eriada, trying to avoid her burns, and turned to take off.
“No so fassst…Sssyroco Patchwing.”
Eriada became worried immediately as she saw Syroco’s eyes widen in horror. Putting his calm mask back on, he turned slowly to the strange people dressed entirely in black.
“Salenians,” Syroco said cheerily. “I thought you had all been sealed in the depths of the ocean?”
“And we…” they breathed. “Thought the Angelusss were…exterminated; As decreed by the Great Zens’salena.
“It seems you thought wrong. Our numbers our diminished, yes, but we still live.”
The ones in black visibly winced, but quickly recovered and circled him.
“You…and the girl…must die.”
“I thought the Doctor wanted her?”
“His wishes are of no concern to Zens’salena. Hand her over and we will not harm her.”
“You do not wish to fight me?”
“You have aged, Syroco…but we are not foolish enough to take on an Angelus. Once we revive…ancient technology…you will die.”
“Surely you do not need the girl, she is only part angelus. Does it really take all eight of you, to destroy half an Angelus?”
Eriada wasn’t sure she heard right. She was half angelus? Could she fly…?
“What!?” they rasped. Their voices became quicker, “If she is half like you say…why not take her to the other Angelus?”
“She will not be accepted fully among our kind. You know how it is—the half breeds are shunned. It was not always so, but with that new Head Angelus…”
“There are enough of you…to reestablish your order?” the Salenians rasped in horror.
Syroco shrugged. “Give or take a few…hundred. But it is none of your concern. Your primary concern at this moment it killing this child, who possesses no less than half of Angelus blood has another blood type which you are unable to harm.”
“Thisss...You are false and tricky Sssyroco—we will leave you, for now, but Zens’salena will hear of thisss.”
“I am aware. But I also know that he cannot kill her no more than you can.”
The Salenians narrowed their eyes at him, and began to fade into the shadows until they disappeared altogether.
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06-19-09 12:38 PM
devonm13 is Offline
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devonm13
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Nice story I love it This is like the best story I have ever read although I don't read much stories because they are boring. But you didn't finish the whole story because if you didn't you should because it would turn out to be awesome!
Nice story I love it This is like the best story I have ever read although I don't read much stories because they are boring. But you didn't finish the whole story because if you didn't you should because it would turn out to be awesome!
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ff7 zack fan!
pokemon fan!


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06-19-09 07:06 PM
DarkestHour14 is Offline
| ID: 99509 | 67 Words

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wow thank you!
i do know what you mean about boring stories though,
i try to give most a chance, but if they don't get
good after like a page of reading then i'm pretty much
done. i can usually tell if i'm going to like the
story by the way they write.
but thanks again, i appreciate it...maybe i'll
have to finish the story after all!
wow thank you!
i do know what you mean about boring stories though,
i try to give most a chance, but if they don't get
good after like a page of reading then i'm pretty much
done. i can usually tell if i'm going to like the
story by the way they write.
but thanks again, i appreciate it...maybe i'll
have to finish the story after all!
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06-19-09 07:13 PM
devonm13 is Offline
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devonm13
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You should and if you do I would love to read the whole story!
You should and if you do I would love to read the whole story!
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ff7 zack fan!
pokemon fan!


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06-19-09 09:31 PM
xReaper19x is Offline
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that was a good story
but don't stop writing a story cause it has similarities with another, a sad truth is that there are very, very few things that haven't been done, the best thing to do is try to put your own unique twist on it

the story was an enjoyable read and i do hope you finish it cause i want to see what happens next
keep up the good work
that was a good story
but don't stop writing a story cause it has similarities with another, a sad truth is that there are very, very few things that haven't been done, the best thing to do is try to put your own unique twist on it

the story was an enjoyable read and i do hope you finish it cause i want to see what happens next
keep up the good work
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Great Sage, Equal to Heaven


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