OVERVIEW
If you've played Custer's Revenge for the Atari 2600, then you here's a hack of that game called Custer's Viagra which is the same game except you will be doing it doggystyle instead of the pony ride. You are General Custer andyour mission is to get cross the enemy lines avoiding the indians' arrows and making your way to an indian girl named Revenge and your goal is to score as many points as possible before an arrow hits you.
CONTROLS - 7
Even though this is an emulated hack game, I will judge the controls based on you playing with the actual Atari joystick like it's meant to be and this part will apply to Custer's Revenge. The control may feel awkward holding the joystick and using one button but you must not forget that there was pretty much no such thing as D-pads till the SG-1000 came out. It was all about the joystick. It is still responsive to your commands as you can navigate back and forth avoiding arrows with no problem. Your thumb get tired from all the button mashing when "scoring" points.
GRAPHICS - 5
Unlike it's Revenge counterpart, the graphics got messed up a bit when it was converted to a hack. While the arrows stayed the same and Revenge still intact while being turned around. Everything else gets mangled. Custer looks like his torso gets turned around as does his legs with his head the only thing that faces forward. His face looks like crap and his "beef" don't even move this time when you move left or right. The cacti during Hard Mode which normally look like giant green 4s turn into what I assume are thorny bushes. At least Revenge's doggystyle reaction to having Custer's "beef" being inserted into her "taco" makes sense as opposed to her pony ride expression where she is just swinging her legs and still smiling like she don't feel a thing.
GAMEPLAY - 6
Your goal here is to make your way over to Revenge and do a little bump n' grinding. All the while, the other Native Americans will attempt to stop you in your tracks with their arrows and aiming at you. If you have it on Hard Mode, you also have maneuver carefully past the cacti that reappear and disappear and you pretty much know what happens when you die by arrow where the "beef" stays hard but if you get killed by stepping on a cactus, the "beef" spoils. You can score up to 50 points per go around and then you start back from the starting point with an extra life and the game starts to get tougher. The game will keep going until all lives are lost.
The sounds in this game are pretty basic. Nothing to get excited about or any thing that will you want to turn down the volume. However, the music in the game is good enough. You here the "Charge" song when you score points, the horse race song when the game starts, the indian attack song when the first life is about to be in play, and if you die you here a wonderful rendition of the first few notes of TAPS.
Depending on how you feel about naughty games, that's your business. I've played plenty of naughty games before and it never affected me psychologically. If a job needs to be done, one must make the sacrifice to do it. As far as replayability, I will definitely say that the game is worth playing again and again trying to get the highest score possible.
This is an average but enjoyable game to play even though the content is questionable. Just as long as you looking for something playable then you should have no problems with this game.
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| ID: 682568 | 52 Words
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