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How Can I Make More Friends?
10-03-12 10:43 PM
SunflowerGaming is Offline
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If there is already another thread on this subject, feel free to close this. So basically I just want to know, how do you all make friends? I don't mean casual friends, I mean like long lasting friendships? Another question, how do you get to be friends with people you know you can trust? I just want to hear your suggestions. So basically I just want to know, how do you all make friends? I don't mean casual friends, I mean like long lasting friendships? Another question, how do you get to be friends with people you know you can trust? I just want to hear your suggestions. |
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Courage is not having the strength to go on, it's going on when you don't have the strength. ???? |
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10-04-12 06:46 AM
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Making friends is one of the easiest things in the world for me. I'm a natural. It takes some effort and some work and like any other skill you have to practice. Most people don't because they're afraid of rejection or negativity or other problems. Here are the basics. 1. Be confident in yourself. You have to like yourself, love yourself, appreciate yourself, and be generally satisfied with who you are and where you're going. If you can't do that, you won't make friends. People pick up other people's emotions. If you aren't happy and you're not a friend to yourself, why should anyone else be your friend? They think, "She doesn't like herself, why should I?" Learn to love yourself and things go easier. The confidence level you have is everything when you talk to people. 2. Smile. A lot. People don't like people who complain, whine, b****, moan, gripe, and otherwise are negative. People like positive people who are smiling, happy, and enthusiastic. You don't have to be like a dog where you run around always happy but be positive. People are attracted to positive, motivated, active people. 3. Listen. A lot. Never tell more about yourself than the other person tells about themselves. Always let others talk, never interrupt, ask questions, and learn about them. Reference old stories they told and talk about how they're relevant today. Give others attention. If someone tells a story or has a bad experience, don't top it. Don't say, "Oh, but listen what happened to ME." Be empathetic, laugh at their jokes, cry at their sadness, but don't actually compete with them over stories and problems and successes. You can share your life (you have to) but you don't do it in direct competition with theirs. 4. Talk in person. Facebook, emails, texting.... it's easy to reach out to people but the human interaction is what makes friends. I talk on the phone. I go out and do activities with friends in person. I don't hang out much in chat rooms, I don't text friends unless it's a specific quick question and answer, and I don't facebook chat with people. I see them in person and talk. Get rid of the electronics and meet real human beings. Do things together. You don't have a strong relationship if you only email or text. Even Skype is iffy. Go DO things and build strong relationships and bonds. 5. Talk to new people. Try it. Say hello to strangers. You'll have some say hello back. Get off the computer, out of the house, and into the world and talk to people. It'll be weird and uncomfortable and you'll soon get comfy with it. You have to practice. I can go to a grocery store and smile and say hello to all the cute girls. I can make a joke in line with another customer I never met and talk for the few minutes it takes to get to the teller. You have seven minutes to spare. Instead of texting, listening to music, or standing there, try engaging people around you. 6. practice! Practice more! Do it again. You'll improve. Good luck! Making friends is one of the easiest things in the world for me. I'm a natural. It takes some effort and some work and like any other skill you have to practice. Most people don't because they're afraid of rejection or negativity or other problems. Here are the basics. 1. Be confident in yourself. You have to like yourself, love yourself, appreciate yourself, and be generally satisfied with who you are and where you're going. If you can't do that, you won't make friends. People pick up other people's emotions. If you aren't happy and you're not a friend to yourself, why should anyone else be your friend? They think, "She doesn't like herself, why should I?" Learn to love yourself and things go easier. The confidence level you have is everything when you talk to people. 2. Smile. A lot. People don't like people who complain, whine, b****, moan, gripe, and otherwise are negative. People like positive people who are smiling, happy, and enthusiastic. You don't have to be like a dog where you run around always happy but be positive. People are attracted to positive, motivated, active people. 3. Listen. A lot. Never tell more about yourself than the other person tells about themselves. Always let others talk, never interrupt, ask questions, and learn about them. Reference old stories they told and talk about how they're relevant today. Give others attention. If someone tells a story or has a bad experience, don't top it. Don't say, "Oh, but listen what happened to ME." Be empathetic, laugh at their jokes, cry at their sadness, but don't actually compete with them over stories and problems and successes. You can share your life (you have to) but you don't do it in direct competition with theirs. 4. Talk in person. Facebook, emails, texting.... it's easy to reach out to people but the human interaction is what makes friends. I talk on the phone. I go out and do activities with friends in person. I don't hang out much in chat rooms, I don't text friends unless it's a specific quick question and answer, and I don't facebook chat with people. I see them in person and talk. Get rid of the electronics and meet real human beings. Do things together. You don't have a strong relationship if you only email or text. Even Skype is iffy. Go DO things and build strong relationships and bonds. 5. Talk to new people. Try it. Say hello to strangers. You'll have some say hello back. Get off the computer, out of the house, and into the world and talk to people. It'll be weird and uncomfortable and you'll soon get comfy with it. You have to practice. I can go to a grocery store and smile and say hello to all the cute girls. I can make a joke in line with another customer I never met and talk for the few minutes it takes to get to the teller. You have seven minutes to spare. Instead of texting, listening to music, or standing there, try engaging people around you. 6. practice! Practice more! Do it again. You'll improve. Good luck! |
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10-04-12 06:52 AM
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Long lasting friendships aren't easily made. Most people I know only have one or two seriously long term friends, and as you get older, it gets harder to have real life long friends, as schedules get more busy, and people grow torwards being family oriented.
Generally the best way to do this is to simply be active. Most of what warmaker says is right, people love confidence and smiles, but I'd add that in general, people like it when you show you take care of yourself. Yeah, basic hygeine. Who woulda thought THAT would be important? Basically, you can't be timid and afraid. Not everyone is going to like you. People will reject you. But you need to think "f*** them" to those people, and focus on moving forward. It's possible for everyone to make friends. Generally the best way to do this is to simply be active. Most of what warmaker says is right, people love confidence and smiles, but I'd add that in general, people like it when you show you take care of yourself. Yeah, basic hygeine. Who woulda thought THAT would be important? Basically, you can't be timid and afraid. Not everyone is going to like you. People will reject you. But you need to think "f*** them" to those people, and focus on moving forward. It's possible for everyone to make friends. |
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10-04-12 09:45 AM
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It's hard to make close friends. My dad was in the miliatary, so growing up I never knew anyone for more than three years. We would always move before I could really make friends. My mom, on the other hand, has a friend she's known since she was like three years old. I think mostly, it takes time, patience, and ...well time. Understand the people you want to be friends with, forgive them for making mistakes, and always keep an eye out for ways to grow together, whether that be professionally, intellectually, financially, or emotionally. A friend, after all, should want you to make your life the best it can be, right? It's hard to make close friends. My dad was in the miliatary, so growing up I never knew anyone for more than three years. We would always move before I could really make friends. My mom, on the other hand, has a friend she's known since she was like three years old. I think mostly, it takes time, patience, and ...well time. Understand the people you want to be friends with, forgive them for making mistakes, and always keep an eye out for ways to grow together, whether that be professionally, intellectually, financially, or emotionally. A friend, after all, should want you to make your life the best it can be, right? |
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10-04-12 04:53 PM
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WOW, great advice everyone. This really helps me out a lot. I didn't think I'd get this much good advice. I'm looking forward to more from other members. |
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Courage is not having the strength to go on, it's going on when you don't have the strength. ???? |
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10-04-12 05:08 PM
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It depends on the sort of person you are.
I'm extremely assertive (borderline aggressive maybe?) so I'm always out there, being outgoing and friendly and meeting people. When I take interest in someone who I feel is a genuinely good person and a valuable friend, I make sure to spend lots of time getting to know them. In a sense, it's like pursuing that person. People notice when you take an active interest in them and so long as they actually like you, they appreciate that sorta thing, I think. People have described what I do as "forcing relationships" and maybe it is, I dunno... I just know that when I want something, I go after it. If that something is a good friend, then I make sure to become close friends with the person. I have a number of good friends who are the opposite of me. They're kind shy types that are more introverted. For them, I imagine it's a lot harder to get close friends unless they happen to run into a person like me who actively befriends them and then introduced them to other great people who they become good friends with. Some people have fortune, others have to make their own fortune. I belong to the latter group. I'm extremely assertive (borderline aggressive maybe?) so I'm always out there, being outgoing and friendly and meeting people. When I take interest in someone who I feel is a genuinely good person and a valuable friend, I make sure to spend lots of time getting to know them. In a sense, it's like pursuing that person. People notice when you take an active interest in them and so long as they actually like you, they appreciate that sorta thing, I think. People have described what I do as "forcing relationships" and maybe it is, I dunno... I just know that when I want something, I go after it. If that something is a good friend, then I make sure to become close friends with the person. I have a number of good friends who are the opposite of me. They're kind shy types that are more introverted. For them, I imagine it's a lot harder to get close friends unless they happen to run into a person like me who actively befriends them and then introduced them to other great people who they become good friends with. Some people have fortune, others have to make their own fortune. I belong to the latter group. |
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10-04-12 05:34 PM
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Crazy Li : I'm not exactly shy, but I am what you call observant. I tend to observe the people and the surroundings when I first meet someone. I don't automatically just start talking when I first meet someone. I kind of slowly start talking to them but not the first day of meeting them. A lot of people confuse that with shyness. I'm no where near shy. I'm just quiet and observant. That's the best way I can describe myself. But thanks for the advice, I appreciate it. |
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Courage is not having the strength to go on, it's going on when you don't have the strength. ???? |
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10-04-12 05:37 PM
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just be your self and be nice to them also try to help them if they need it just be your self and be nice to them also try to help them if they need it |
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10-04-12 06:19 PM
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Well how people make more friends on here they usually just send requests to random people and when they agree to the friend request start talking to them. I'm your friend by the way. |
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10-04-12 06:25 PM
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mr.keys : That's a good suggestion for making friends on the internet. I want to be able to make friends in real life and on the net as well. I think it will help me to learn how to interact better with all people, even people I may not always get along with. Since I've been on the forums a lot more recently, I'm trying to find ways to interact more with other members. Thanks for the tip, it really helps me out. And thanks for being a friend to me, I'm happy to know I made a new buddy. I'm your friend as well. |
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