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jlh
10-03-12 04:28 PM
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10-23-12 10:01 PM
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10-03-12 04:28 PM
jlh is Offline
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| ID: 663343 | 261 Words

jlh
Level: 75


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This poem is about being locked up and thinking of life in general.


I'm in this world all alone.
No tv, no radio, no phone.

Surrounded by these blocks.
I shouldn't have used my glocks.

I need to make bail.
Life is hell.
It's over with when I get out of this jail.

Will I ever be free?
Do I have somebody lookin down on me?
Or is it over with when it's over for me.
Will I still have my spirit left?
Or will it be like I never did exist?

It's a choice I have to make.
Don't make a mistake.
Should I fly high and keep it straight?

Keep my faith in the lord?
Or die by the worlds sword?

I'm trying to break out this prison.
I'd stick around if I had a reason.
Is anybody listening?

I guess I'm all alone.
Nobody to call my own.
What kind of life is that?
I got the world on my back.

So much weight I can't take it.
I'll die if I don't make it.

If I had money and fame it would still be the same.
Friends are suckers and hoes are lame.

That's the game if you want to play it.
I say f#ck the world like Tupac said it.

Every man for their selves,that's the deal.
In this world I have to be hard to be real.

Time will tell when people are fake.
F#ck them it's for my sake.
I better live before it's too late.
I can't stop short my time of fate.
This poem is about being locked up and thinking of life in general.


I'm in this world all alone.
No tv, no radio, no phone.

Surrounded by these blocks.
I shouldn't have used my glocks.

I need to make bail.
Life is hell.
It's over with when I get out of this jail.

Will I ever be free?
Do I have somebody lookin down on me?
Or is it over with when it's over for me.
Will I still have my spirit left?
Or will it be like I never did exist?

It's a choice I have to make.
Don't make a mistake.
Should I fly high and keep it straight?

Keep my faith in the lord?
Or die by the worlds sword?

I'm trying to break out this prison.
I'd stick around if I had a reason.
Is anybody listening?

I guess I'm all alone.
Nobody to call my own.
What kind of life is that?
I got the world on my back.

So much weight I can't take it.
I'll die if I don't make it.

If I had money and fame it would still be the same.
Friends are suckers and hoes are lame.

That's the game if you want to play it.
I say f#ck the world like Tupac said it.

Every man for their selves,that's the deal.
In this world I have to be hard to be real.

Time will tell when people are fake.
F#ck them it's for my sake.
I better live before it's too late.
I can't stop short my time of fate.
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Registered: 03-23-12
Location: Somewhere in the dirty south.
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10-03-12 04:44 PM
mr.keys is Offline
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| ID: 663376 | 33 Words

mr.keys
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This poem is nice, its well written and i like it alot it express my life a little bit, maybe some day we can get together and compare poems. That will be cool.
This poem is nice, its well written and i like it alot it express my life a little bit, maybe some day we can get together and compare poems. That will be cool.
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10-03-12 04:46 PM
mr.pace is Offline
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| ID: 663378 | 33 Words

mr.pace
Level: 62


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An excellent read.  This poem is true to more than just your life, but also to the life of the free world.  Are we really ever free or are limited to our thoughts.
An excellent read.  This poem is true to more than just your life, but also to the life of the free world.  Are we really ever free or are limited to our thoughts.
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I am the prince of peace. Lord of Light mr.pace.


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10-03-12 07:19 PM
Mobouis1 is Offline
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| ID: 663616 | 32 Words

Mobouis1
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The poem is deep man. I enjoy reading the whole thing, and I think you are a great poet. I just wish that I could write poetry like that in my life.
The poem is deep man. I enjoy reading the whole thing, and I think you are a great poet. I just wish that I could write poetry like that in my life.
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Registered: 04-07-12
Last Post: 4410 days
Last Active: 3213 days

10-08-12 05:43 PM
jlh is Offline
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| ID: 668650 | 50 Words

jlh
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Mobouis1 : Hey thanks Mobouis, i'm glad you liked it. When i wrote those poems i was stuck at the house with nothing to do and i decided to pour out my feelings on paper. Not every word is true but a lot of it comes from expieriences in my life.

Mobouis1 : Hey thanks Mobouis, i'm glad you liked it. When i wrote those poems i was stuck at the house with nothing to do and i decided to pour out my feelings on paper. Not every word is true but a lot of it comes from expieriences in my life.
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Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 03-23-12
Location: Somewhere in the dirty south.
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Last Active: 4615 days

10-23-12 06:35 PM
Singelli is Offline
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| ID: 678181 | 71 Words

Singelli
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I've read this one a few times since coming to vizzed. It's got a nice modern feel to it that I can't quite manage with my own poetry.  I also like the varying rhythm, because it causes the reader to pay more attention by adjusting how they read it every few lines.  Overall, it does an effective job of explaining your emotions at the time, and I applaud you for that.
I've read this one a few times since coming to vizzed. It's got a nice modern feel to it that I can't quite manage with my own poetry.  I also like the varying rhythm, because it causes the reader to pay more attention by adjusting how they read it every few lines.  Overall, it does an effective job of explaining your emotions at the time, and I applaud you for that.
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Singelli


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 08-09-12
Location: Alabama
Last Post: 2968 days
Last Active: 2943 days

10-23-12 09:20 PM
Crazy Li is Offline
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| ID: 678262 | 37 Words

Crazy Li
Level: 85


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Hey, this is a pretty good poem. It's not exactly conventional/traditional, but still well-made. To be honest, all of the run-of-the-mill standard poems would get boring after a while, so it's good to see a fresh style.
Hey, this is a pretty good poem. It's not exactly conventional/traditional, but still well-made. To be honest, all of the run-of-the-mill standard poems would get boring after a while, so it's good to see a fresh style.
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10-23-12 10:01 PM
TheNameWithNoNumbers is Offline
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Pretty good, dude. I mean, it's got a pretty good rhythm and all! But... I just have to rage about something for a moment.

I MAKE A 300 WORD SHORT STORY AND THEN JLH POSTS 4 POEMS AND IT'S LOOKED OVER. ALLMYCAPS RAGE.



That is all.
Pretty good, dude. I mean, it's got a pretty good rhythm and all! But... I just have to rage about something for a moment.

I MAKE A 300 WORD SHORT STORY AND THEN JLH POSTS 4 POEMS AND IT'S LOOKED OVER. ALLMYCAPS RAGE.



That is all.
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