So as I have said before I have started from the very beginning of my trilogy. I was starting in the middle with "The Bloody Kingdom" then realized that wasn't working out and I need to start from the start with "Liquid Science". So I have made a full chapter 1 of "Liquid Science"

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Liquid Science
Chapter 1

"Oh where is that tablet?" A tall man covered in blue and black robes is found rummaging in a small candle lit room. "No one ever puts things back where it belongs!" In the doorway, a man in a black trench coat, loaded with various weapons waves a tablet at the robed man.

He pushes his black, layered hair out of his eyes with his other hand. "Looking for this?" He then threw it at the man in robes. The robed man catches it and looks at the other man. "Bain what are you doing with this? It's a special locked document!" Bain just gives a laugh. He then walks up to the robed man and kisses him on the lips. "I just was doing some research for family reasons. Anyway Aoshi what do you need it for?"

"It's for our son. I thought you were going to talk to him about the dangers of making rogue AI programs." Bain gave out a loud groan. "I guess he didn't listen. Looks like he needs a good history lesson." He then took a peak at the clock on the back wall. "Jeez it's that time already? Listen babe I have to get going. Got a big bounty hunt operation tonight. Good luck with our boy!"

Aoshi frowns and turns away from Bain. He then picks up a tablet. "I got this for you it's about your bounty. Be careful with this one." Before he hands the tablet to Bain he grabs him by the collar and kisses him. "Also talk to me like a guy I hate being treated like a girl." Aoshi pushed Bain out the door with the tablet. All Bain did was smile and then ran off.

Exiting the room Aoshi pulled back his hood revealing long blue hair. His silver eyes wandered up to the top floor of what looked like a tall library. "Rin I need you to come down now!" He then slowly made his way to a rocking chair that was seated at the exact center of the main floor.

On the top floor a boy in black and yellow robes wakes with a startle. All of the tablets he had on his desk come to the floor with a crash. Angered by being woken the boy runs to the banister. "Oi! Pops why'd you do that for? I was busy with my studies!" He jumps down off the banister without a care. The wind blows back his hood revealing shaggy black hair and eye of both silver and gold.

Before the boy landed Aoshi used magic to push the boy into the sofa that was directly across from the rocking chair. "Rin you have not been listening to me or your dad. You still are playing around with rogue AI programs."

Rin flips his hair out of his eyes and places his dirty feat on the glass table in front of him. "Pops not this again. I won't be making the next Ian." He folded his arms and glared at his dad.

Peeved at Rin's attitude, Aoshi flips out a tablet from his robes. "This is the beginning of the story of how a simple AI became the most feared creature in the universe. I am reading this to you and you are going to listen." He mumbled a few words while waving his hand. "Sto... Ro... Ku..."

Rin struggled and seemed unable to move. "Pops! Unfair!" Right after that Rin started mumbling unable to open his mouth.

Giving a small laugh, Aoshi turned on the tablet. "Now that you can't move or talk I can begin to read. This is the journal of Princess Crystal Antex. She is not the cause but she did fight in the battle against Ian. She also documented exactly how Ian came to be. Since you have been so rude to your father and I, I will also read every entry in this journal and the second one."


- Log 1: Suspicion –

This is the beginning of an investigation I Princess Crystal Antex am performing to find out the strange happenings that are going on. Recently there has been mass rape/murder cases of women. At first they all seem unrelated to each other. At first it was a few mob members that were charged with the crimes, then were executed by Lord Black Dark. The rape/murder cases didn’t end though. Others were blamed for the cases such as terrorists, bandits, and other local ruffians. Lord Black Dark executed these people as well.

I have always had my suspicions about Lord Black Dark; he has never looked like he acts. He has always tried to make himself seen as a noble man. His dress style is very different. The cloths he wears are always half black and half white and his hair is the same. His hair is colored half-black, half-white and covers the eyes. Lord Black Dark may fool others but I feel he is behind these cases.

With the help of my brother Bain Antex I have been able to make a costume disguising my identity. Instead of my usual white dresses covered in diamonds, diamond slippers, long black hair, and gold eyes I have changed to something a bit more subdued. I now wear a black tank top, blue jeans, hair in a braid, and contacts making my eyes blue. My brother though he is only fourteen is a master at making disguises.

I have interviewed many of the victim’s families. They all say that a man, in a black robe that covers his eyes follows the victims. One other interesting fact is the man has no shoes or socks on. I have asked if they ever were told how the man talks and no one has been able to answer. Also I have been told that this is the first time any of the families have been interviewed for the cases. This leads me to think Lord Black Dark is most likely covering for his crimes.

When I came home to the palace after my investigations, the last person I wanted to see greeted me. Lord Black Dark was standing at the entrance of the palace. “Princess! I have been waiting for you!” He was about to hug me but then stopped. “Ah… Something is quite different about you. Hmm… Let me see. Oh! It’s your eyes! Why they are blue! Now why did you go do that? I love your golden eyes!”

I did not feel like talking to him, so I brushed it off just telling him I wanted to mingle with the peasants without being known. To make him leave me alone I acted tired and pushed my way through. For a minute he left me alone but making my way up the staircase in the main hall he ran in front of me. “Sorry I know you are tired princess, but I needed to ask you something.” He pulled an envelope from his back pocket. “We have known each other for a while now. I was wondering if I could ask you to dinner tonight. It is fair weather and full moons it should be splendid display tonight. Will you please accept my invitation?” There were so many spectators looking at us. I knew they all expected me to say yes. With a deep sigh I accepted the invitation. “Oh good! The note in the envelope has all the instructions. Please do not be late!” I stood there as he left. My body could not move it was trembling with fear. Slowly my hands moved and opened the envelope. I took a look at the note.

“Princess I am glad you accepted the date. Now no need to bring any guards this will be in the public garden. Please wear the dress I have on your bed for you. Come to the garden at 8. We will have such a splendid time!”

Looking up I saw people still staring at me. I faked a blush and ran up to my chamber. There on my bed was a white dress. The top was a white and silver corset with long bell sleeves made of lace. The bottom was a two layered skirt one layer white silk, the other white lace. At the time I could not look at it and ran into my bathing room. After filling the bath with cold water I submerged myself in it. It gave me the feeling of being in the depths of cold space far away from this horror show.

While in the bath my brother came knocking at my door. I slipped on my silk white robe and came to the door. His eyes were wide open and suddenly he gave me a hug. “I was worried about you. I heard it from some of the staff that he asked you out! What are the conditions?” Showing no emotions I went to my bed and grabbed the letter. I handed it to him to read.

Few moments later he let out a scream. “This can’t be happening! He’s after you!” He paused for a moment and gave a long thought. “You need to be protected. I have a few friends that can help us. You might not see us but we will be there to save you if anything happens!” He stormed out of my chamber with letter in hand. Some how now I was no longer as fearful. This is the perfect way to get him, if he does actually try to have his way with me.

Hopefully everything goes to how I want it to go and not how Lord Black Dark wants it.

-End Log-

“Well I am hungry! How about we break for now?” Aoshi waves his hand and Rin starts to move. “So do you like this story so far?”

“Pops this has nothing to do with Ian! Why are you wasting my time?” Rin yet again makes himself look like an angry cat about to pounce.

“Rin you will see why I am reading these logs to you soon. Have patience my boy!” Aoshi gave a laugh and got up from his chair.

“You might be right about that pops. One other question though. Why does Lord Black have the same last name as you?” Rin stood up and stared right at his father.

“Oh you will find out later in the logs. I would not want to spoil anything for you!” At that point both walked out of the room and turned off the lights.

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Please tell me if you like it or if I should change anything.

I personally think this is a great start and am quite honestly surprised that no one has commented on it... 

I guess it goes to show that not many people on Vizzed are avid readers or like to read a good book every now and then but I suppose most of them are young teenagers... 


Anyways all I have to say is praise..... so that is all I'm going to say PRAISE PRAISE!


hehehe.... creepy laugh for the win

And then, after overcoming the twisted puzzles of Shadowgate Classic (which is the next walkthrough, just in case people want to know ), I finally found some time to read this new story. I'm still amazed about your writing style, Requiem. All I can tell you is keep this good work up. I can't wait to read the next chapter

sonicmcmuffin :
Evil laughs do show how good of a rating you gave me~ ~Evil~ Glad you liked it and I do try to improve my writing. I worked a lot on this chapter trying to improve myself.

laian :
Thank you for the good review! Once I get my new laptop next week I will start on chapter 2! Maybe I'll make some images too of the characters!

Oh, I like this story. I think it'll have a great plot, although it does need work in grammar and spelling. Is English not your native language, Requiem?