Ahem. So, I figure, hey, everyone knows about the wise quotes. "A penny saved is a penny earned. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise."

We all know that. We don't follow them, but yeah, we all know these boring, crusty old sayings. Come on. We need more of the useless sayings of now! Like-

"Bathtubs for the disabled." - Vizzed Ads

"ASL?" - EVERYONE ON OMEGLE.

"Checks Himself, Still Wrecks Himself" - Bad Luck Brian

I mean, really now. Do we need, "Don't procrastinate, It'll be too late?" We can just shove that and make room for tired old memes modern, more useful sayings.

So come one, come all! Take a gander at our wonderful, useless sayings!

TL;DR (We ARE too lazy, but who cares!?): Post funny quotes and you've seen on the INTERNET.

I'll feel stupid for saying this...
"All Toasters, Toast, Toast!' - Hotel Mario
I feel a whole lot bettwr now. Yay!

Just a few of my favorites

”How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell ‘BINGO!’” - Unknown

“When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.” - Will Rogers

“Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.” - José Maria de Eça de Queiroz

”Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong” - Unknown

“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.” - Brian Gerald O’Driscoll

I could go on a very long rant on this one, but I will try to keep it short:
"You can't have your cake and eat it too!"

I know it is a crusty old saying, but it is one that ticks me off more than anything. I know the meaning behind it and that's fine, but it is a saying that is just utterly pointless. If you can have cake but cannot eat it, what the heck is the point of the cake then? To look pretty? Then why bother BAKING the thing and just make one out of freaking legos?! I once went off on a teacher for saying this in class, I am surprised I did not get detention over it haha.

Now as for some fun sayings...

"It's a stone, Luigi. You didn't make it!" -Mario from the Super Mario Show. The way he says it is just hilarious to me.
"Don't forget your umbrella!" Since someone mentioned Hotel Mario, it reminded me of something I saw on a Youtube Poop. Some cartoon cat acted all know-it-all to a younger one wanting to run away, and as if it were a big middle finger she goes, "Don't forget your umbrella!"

Only other ones I can think of at the moment are inappropriate, haha!

MrEon : These really made me laugh.  Seriously.
"Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something."  - Mitch Hedberg

Seriously.... love this guy.  Watch some of his videos on youtube.

"I had a dog that once sat."
Me :3

That is not an empty post there, I just did a quote and thats all I could think of.