This is probably not going to be what you expect....

I find that I trust people too easily in real life. Someone tells me something and I take it at face value unless I can verify otherwise.

I'm not saying this is such a terrible thing in general... I don't think trusting people is bad, but I'm finding fewer and fewer people are actually worthy of this trust. It's like the moment someone finds out I'm a trusting person that I get used and abused. I'm getting really tired of it and I'm finding that it's made me into a very distrustful person. Instead of taking things at face value anymore I find that unless someone can prove their statement I ignore it. And I quite often go beyond that and have a tough time trusting that person after that.

Not sure if anyone else feels like that or not... but it concerns me.

I used to feel like that myself, until I got sick and tired of people abusing my trust. That led to me becoming a person that trusts absolutely no one until they can prove they are worthy of my trust.

The best policy I think is one of moderation. Don't trust someone until you know them a while and can call them friend. Don't be quick at making friends. Take your time.

I understand how you feel though. =/

As far as in life, I find it hard to trust anyone... I've been this way for years, not even my family. I'm always on guard because I have a way of seeing people's motives for their actions and through what they say. I know a few people in my life that I can trust; it sucks that people are untrustworthy, but it's been a part of life for me to where it's normal.

Trust is definitely one of those things that you have to find a happy medium for. Trusting people isn't necessarily bad, like you said, but only to an extent. The issue is how much you trust someone when you meet them. I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt until they give me a reason not to. But even though I give them the benefit of the doubt, I don't trust people with things that would be bad for me if the trust was broken unless I have known the person for a long time. I hope you can find a balance that you are comfortable with.

"I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt until they give me a reason not to."

I'm generally like that.... except that instead of keeping my guard up I seem to instantly let it down once I start doing that. =/

Yeah, I tend to get walked all over because I am trusting as well, so I know what you mean. I try to be more scrutinizing now, but usually I'm still just very open and trusting.

I can only trust my Brother anyone else in my family I can't trust.  They say they understand you but then they tell on you and you get hurt.  My brother and I grew up together and raised each other.  We had no real parents they were never there for us.  My brother and I understand what we go through and never ever tell on each other.  What we know of each other is a secret and we would never hurt each other.

I have no friends in real life because of how I feel of my family I have 0 trust.   I feel everyone will one day turn their back on me and get me in trouble.  I have to strive for myself and look out for myself and never rely on anyone for comfort.

geeogree : I have the same problem. I find it really hard not to trust people easily and call someone my friend. Leggy's right. You shouldn't be in a hurry in a friendship. I do it all the time. I hate it but it happens.

Im very trusting,but not to the extent id loan my stuff etc.those rights are reserved for my close friends.
And only a few id tell my secrets to,i learned that one the hard way...

I knew it! You're a sweetheart!

I've been there plenty of times. Heck, it seems to have happened to me so often that after a while I've become accepting of it. For example, often times most of my friends are not on AIM. When they do pop up on AIM it's usually for a favor. Sometimes they talk to me a bit and then ask for something or they do it immediately. I have a really strange habit in that I don't even think about helping people, I just do it. Then a day or few months later I think about it. "Am I just for favors?" Now I'm more aware of this so when they ask me something, I inform them of how I feel about that. Sometimes they feel a little guilty and reassess what they did. Usually they make sure to not pester me too often or at least talk to me just for fun instead more often. Sometimes they don't care still lol but I just laugh. Point is, I'm aware that that is who I am but now I make it known when I feel that they are abusing my nature.

I just realized, that this probably falls under a different category. Trust. Hmm. I usually just go with my gut feeling if it's something that I don't have forever to think about. If not, I research a bit. Sorry, I'm not too good with abstractions. I suppose that I am an optimist in that I believe that everyone is good and it is only the things usually out of their control that lead them off that path. Given another chance or few (or many) I believe anyone can be trustworthy. I think in the long term that if I keep treating others like an equal and keep helping them, they'll change themselves for the better. Even if it appears that my trust in them was in vain, perhaps one day that won't be the case anymore. If not, then that's okay. I'll know that I literally gave them as many chances as they would allow me to give.

SORRY if this is still off base. 


 

geeogree : I think it all depends on the person… I have been too trustful of people in the past and too quick to get attached. This has led to me having hard luck when it comes to relationships because I have been lied to, and swerved and cheated on by people who I thought I had a shot at a relationship with. It isn’t a good feeling when you have a close friend or a girlfriend or more than that take you’re feelings and everything you might have had for granted.


I think part of the reason I have had those problems in the past is because I am a real good natured person or, at least I try to be. I use to reach out to people who’ve done me wrong knowing that it wouldn’t end well for me but because I believe in second and third chances. I’m still a good natured person but now I am a little more neurotic and not so quick to trust people, particularly when it comes to relationships. In regard to relationships I try to see where the relationship is going and what the person’s intentions are before I let them in.

It’s not an easy thing but I guess the one thing that all the bad experiences I’ve had have done is made me wiser and cautious as to who I associate with. I think an important thing to remember is if someone doesn’t respect you enough to be on the up and up with you and chooses to take you’re good nature for granted then it’s A their loss and B even though it may not seem like it right at the time, in the long run you’re probably better off. It’s a lesson that I’ve had to learn more then once. It was a hard lesson but definitely a lesson worth learning.

I've placed trust in people. Asked them to place trust in me. And frankly, yes, I've gotten burned before. You think you can rely on somebody.... Just to find out you can't.... It sucks. I don't trust as much now as I used to.

Oh boy, trust issues is definitely something I have. Online and off. I won't go into the reasons why. It's too much to read, lol. But I hope that I can trust the right people when I am able to trust people. I don't trust just anyone and if I do, it's over time.