If you expect to find happiness with your soulmate and peace and harmony, you first must make peace with your past.  Forgive your stepfather, forgive those who have made you suffer in the past and move beyond it.  Allow me to tell a quick story:

Two buddhist monks were travelling to a temple.  They stopped to cross a river that was very deep.  A woman was on their side of the river, and she was young and pretty.  She looked at them and asked for help fording the river, for it was too swift for her to do by herself.  The older of the two monks picked her up and put her on his shoulder.  They crossed the river safely.  He put her down, she thanked him, and went on her way.

The two monks continued walking in silence.  After two hours the younger monk finally spoke, "Master, I cannot believe you carried that woman.  One of our most important rules is to shun physical contact from females.  It is against our code.  And yet you carried her across the river!"

The older monk spoke, "Yes, I carried her across the river.  But I put her down on the other side.  You carry her still."


If you really want to live happily and successfully with your soulmate, you need to first be happy with yourself.  You can't do anything for anyone else until you've reconciled your own past demons.  Work on yourself first.  Stop carrying your past experiences, decide to move on and be better from today through the future.  You can't control, nor can you change what happened to you.  But you can determine your fate from today on out. 

Write down all the terrible things.  Write them all down in great detail on paper.  Light a candle.  Burn each note and each story.  As it burns up, feel it burn away from your soul.  It no longer affects you.  You're stronger than your past and you can control your future.  Only once you truly allow yourself to stop living the past can you be of any use to your soulmate.

Good luck!