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  Views: 1,464,304,845     05-22-15 05:09 PM  

This "Hell" I was talking about.




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This "Hell" I was talking about.
- I won't hide it anymore.
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Posted on 08-06-11 10:24 PM The Planned Accident is Offline     Post: 241 words - Spell checked - (ID: 435147) - Post Rating: 0 - Report Abuse | Link
The Planned Accident
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Okay... This is really hard for me to tell the entire Vizzed community... But... The "Hell" I mentioned back in "My Soulmate"? Here's exactly what I was talking about.
I have gone through two pregnancies, one of them not being mine. I've gone through lying. I have gone through a really mean stepfather over the years. He calls me names. I have gone through my girlfriend cheating on me. I've gone through having her say she hated me multiple times. I have gone through depression. I have gone through losing two kids I loved dearly. (Even the one that wasn't mine, Believe it or not.) I have been bullied all my life, I got people who want to kill me for being with my soulmate, I practically don't have a father anymore. My girlfriend gets suicidal sometimes. She has multiple personalities. I've gone through loneliness, failure, and not being able to find love. Until I met my soulmate. Believe it or not... While all this was going on, I stayed with my soulmate... I stayed because I was desperate and I loved her to death. I'm obsessed with her. She's apologized for all of the stuff she's done a million times and I forgave her. But... I can never forget any of the stuff that's happened to me.. I still have nightmares... I just want to move on with my soulmate so we can live together in harmony and happiness.

--James

Spike

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Posted on 08-06-11 10:28 PM Marcmoney is Offline     Post: 32 words - Spell checked - (ID: 435148) - Post Rating: 0 - Report Abuse | Link
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Daaamn, that is hell. That's terrible.  I have no idea what to say about this, it is the worst thing I have ever heard about for a person to experience.

Birdo
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Posted on 08-06-11 10:40 PM D_Man is Offline     Post: 37 words - Spell checked - (ID: 435154) - Post Rating: 0 - Report Abuse | Link
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I can't give you any advice besides to relax if she is you're soul mate and you truly love her stay with her don't let her take advantage of you and if you need anything just ask

Snifit
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Posted on 08-06-11 11:00 PM hoguan is Offline     Post: 21 words - Spell checked - (ID: 435158) - Post Rating: 0 - Report Abuse | Link
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It sounds like things are going harsh for you. I can't help much, but at least you're with your soul mate.

Graveler

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Posted on 08-06-11 11:02 PM SunflowerGaming is Offline     Post: 21 words - (ID: 435160) - Post Rating: 0 - Report Abuse | Link
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I've been through my own version of hell too. All I can say is I hope things get better for you.

Gleeok
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Posted on 08-06-11 11:09 PM The Planned Accident is Offline     Post: 27 words - (ID: 435164) - Post Rating: 0 - Report Abuse | Link
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Not only that, I've cried almost every day while all this was happening, Even when things were tough, I tried to make her happy through it all...

Spike

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Posted on 08-06-11 11:53 PM Natas is Offline     Post: 169 words - (ID: 435178) - Post Rating: 0 - Report Abuse | Link
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So much, yet so young. I can't fathom the experience you are going through right now, except for my father was once the same way, but as for the relationship you are going through. There's not much advice I can give you, because my life of solitude is saddening. I've been alone for a very long time due to I'm always visually judged by up tight shallow women, lied and cheated on too. So I know how you feel. I have failed relationships when they found out a visual thing about me. Which I will not go into details, but what I can say is that you should be lucky whether or not you can no longer see your children, but know this. You still have them in your heart. Have faith and love for your children and you will get to see them again. Don't be down so much. It could be worse. 

Meh, I'm horrible at giving advices, but I hoped it helped you out a little.

Beamos
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Posted on 08-06-11 11:56 PM The Planned Accident is Offline     Post: 50 words - (ID: 435179) - Post Rating: 0 - Report Abuse | Link
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Natas : Actually, That was very good, Natas. Believe me, once you really fall in love it's the hardest thing you'll ever have to face.. I feel weird as a 15 year old saying this to someone who's most likely a lot older than me. But that was great advice.

Spike

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Posted on 08-07-11 12:33 AM rlmathias01 is Offline     Post: 25 words - (ID: 435187) - Post Rating: 0 - Report Abuse | Link
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Wow, I can't even imagine having to go through all that. I'm sorry and I hope that things look better for you in the future.

Octoballoon
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Posted on 08-07-11 10:16 AM warmaker is Offline     Post: 354 words - Spell checked - (ID: 435313) - Post Rating: 0 - Report Abuse | Link
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If you expect to find happiness with your soulmate and peace and harmony, you first must make peace with your past.  Forgive your stepfather, forgive those who have made you suffer in the past and move beyond it.  Allow me to tell a quick story:

Two buddhist monks were travelling to a temple.  They stopped to cross a river that was very deep.  A woman was on their side of the river, and she was young and pretty.  She looked at them and asked for help fording the river, for it was too swift for her to do by herself.  The older of the two monks picked her up and put her on his shoulder.  They crossed the river safely.  He put her down, she thanked him, and went on her way.

The two monks continued walking in silence.  After two hours the younger monk finally spoke, "Master, I cannot believe you carried that woman.  One of our most important rules is to shun physical contact from females.  It is against our code.  And yet you carried her across the river!"

The older monk spoke, "Yes, I carried her across the river.  But I put her down on the other side.  You carry her still."


If you really want to live happily and successfully with your soulmate, you need to first be happy with yourself.  You can't do anything for anyone else until you've reconciled your own past demons.  Work on yourself first.  Stop carrying your past experiences, decide to move on and be better from today through the future.  You can't control, nor can you change what happened to you.  But you can determine your fate from today on out. 

Write down all the terrible things.  Write them all down in great detail on paper.  Light a candle.  Burn each note and each story.  As it burns up, feel it burn away from your soul.  It no longer affects you.  You're stronger than your past and you can control your future.  Only once you truly allow yourself to stop living the past can you be of any use to your soulmate.

Good luck!

Mancubus

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Posted on 08-07-11 10:22 AM The Planned Accident is Offline     Post: 19 words - Spell checked - (ID: 435314) - Post Rating: 0 - Report Abuse | Link
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I don't know whether that is going to work. But I'll take your advice. That was a beautiful story.

Spike

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Posted on 08-07-11 10:43 AM Galacta is Offline     Post: 56 words - (ID: 435318) - Post Rating: 0 - Report Abuse | Link
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Damn bro, pretty harsh. As I live through my life, I'm realizing I have it easy. I live through a divorcement between my mom and dad, always having to go to Orlando. But you're living life much harder than I am.

All I can say here is that I hope it gets better along the way....

The undying bonds of honor arise, take hold of them.
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Posted on 08-07-11 03:51 PM Redrunelord is Offline     Post: 390 words - Spell checked - (ID: 435399) - Post Rating: 0 - Report Abuse | Link
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I have gone through some similar experiences, and I offer my condolences man.

I will also offer my opinion...you have done something great in posting this on Vizzed. I say that because one of the first steps for recovery and true happiness is opening yourself...there was a Bruce Dickinson song that addresses somebody who has bottled something finally being set free when their emotions and thoughts came out. Here is a part of the first verse:

For too long now,
There were secrets in my mind.
Too long now,
there were things I should have said.
In the darkness,
I was stumbling for the door,
to find a reason...
to find the time, the place, the hour.

I agree with some of the posters that you should finally start facing things, and look your past straight in the eyes and say that you are not going to put up with the demons any longer. It will be hard, I agree...hell, I still has trouble with some of my demons, but I pushes through nonetheless...and I think you can as well. If what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, then you will be a strong man. 

I can't adequately advise you in brevity as I don't know you, nor do I have any training in the realms of psychology. If you ever want to talk one on one, drop me a line, and I will be glad to. In the end though, you are the key to your past, present and future.

To close my short speech, of sorts, here is my favorite poem of all time, and you may enjoy it. It's called Invictus (which is Latin for "Unconquerable") and was written by William Ernest Henley.

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.





Seel
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Posted on 08-07-11 06:00 PM geeogree is Offline     Post: 25 words - (ID: 435468) - Post Rating: 0 - Report Abuse | Link
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you've gone through all that and you're only 15?

either you're lying about your age or you're lying about all the stuff that has happened....

Bull
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Posted on 08-07-11 06:09 PM pacman1755 is Offline     Post: 38 words - (ID: 435474) - Post Rating: 0 - Report Abuse | Link
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Well, after geeo explained that, I think your lying. Going through that in 15? That must be a messed up life or you are lying about the age. I sincerely hope its the age that is the lie.

Roy Koopa
Winner of The August VCS 2011 and December VCS 2013
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Posted on 08-07-11 06:20 PM MegaRevolution1 is Offline     Post: 19 words - (ID: 435478) - Post Rating: 0 - Report Abuse | Link
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This picture is pretty much everything I have to say about this thread.






Image upload: 526x472 totaling 38 KB's.
(last edited by MegaRevolution1 on 08-07-11 06:20 PM)
I asked for it. This is what I wanted.
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Posted on 08-07-11 06:22 PM Bitmap is Offline     Post: 67 words - (ID: 435479) - Post Rating: 0 - Report Abuse | Link
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You seriously need some sex education and stay away from that in general. If you want to avoid that hell either stop lying to yourself that you are in that situation or (If you are even it) then STOP MESSING AROUND WITH GIRLS.

Honestly, you are young. If you had a kid do you think you can man up and support it with your amount of Education?

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Posted on 08-07-11 06:24 PM legacyme3 is Offline     Post: 0 words - (ID: 435480) - Post Rating: 0 - Report Abuse | Link
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One Leggy.
One Love.
One Dream.
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Posted on 08-07-11 06:34 PM The Planned Accident is Offline     Post: 18 words - (ID: 435485) - Post Rating: 0 - Report Abuse | Link
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I'm not lying about either of them. But I don't care what any of you think. It's true.

Spike

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Posted on 08-07-11 06:39 PM Bitmap is Offline     Post: 18 words - (ID: 435487) - Post Rating: 0 - Report Abuse | Link
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If you don't care about what we think then what was the point of even making this thread.

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Vizzed Board - Café Corner / Girls N Guyz - Life
This "Hell" I was talking about. - I won't hide it anymore.
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