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06-27-11 03:37 PM
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Break-ups... life sucks?

 

06-27-11 03:37 PM
tRIUNE is Offline
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I've known a friend of mine for about 12 years now and yesterday I saw a different side of her that led to a falling-out between us; we'll I'm thinking that I'd rather not live anymore because of this. I'm thinking I might resort back to military enlistment (because my court-probation has been terminated for a while now and no longer hindering the enlistment).

Is this normal to want to be dead, literally, because of a break up?
I've known a friend of mine for about 12 years now and yesterday I saw a different side of her that led to a falling-out between us; we'll I'm thinking that I'd rather not live anymore because of this. I'm thinking I might resort back to military enlistment (because my court-probation has been terminated for a while now and no longer hindering the enlistment).

Is this normal to want to be dead, literally, because of a break up?
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06-27-11 03:52 PM
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I usually don't feel this pain, because I'm usually the one, who runs away scared D:
But once in my life, I was willing to be in a relationship, but lets say it didn't work well.... I was feeling the same way. I think it's natural to feel this way, it's a sign that you love this person with all your heart. It took me months to stop moping around, still it hurts when I'm thinking of how things could have ended.
I think you should let yourself "mourn" for this break up, but after that you should try to get over her. Going to the military to forget her isn't good, in my mind, it's like trying to run and hide from your problems. Also, keep in mind that there are plenty of fish, I know this sounds futile now, but after the "mourning" stage, you might feel strong enough to make a new start.
I usually don't feel this pain, because I'm usually the one, who runs away scared D:
But once in my life, I was willing to be in a relationship, but lets say it didn't work well.... I was feeling the same way. I think it's natural to feel this way, it's a sign that you love this person with all your heart. It took me months to stop moping around, still it hurts when I'm thinking of how things could have ended.
I think you should let yourself "mourn" for this break up, but after that you should try to get over her. Going to the military to forget her isn't good, in my mind, it's like trying to run and hide from your problems. Also, keep in mind that there are plenty of fish, I know this sounds futile now, but after the "mourning" stage, you might feel strong enough to make a new start.
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(edited by noelia on 06-27-11 03:54 PM)    

06-27-11 04:34 PM
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noelia : Thanks noelia, that brightened me up a bit. Yeah, I'm doing the "moping", it's severely depressing, to the extent that I've not felt until now... I know that I have to move on, but I'm thinking that we can still talk , but I don't know how the conversation would go, so I'm not sure.

Point is that I'm too hesitant to try and patch things up, but it makes sense that if I enlisted that I would be running away from my problems. I'm still in love with her though, so as of now I don't see it getting patched up because of the severity... ....
noelia : Thanks noelia, that brightened me up a bit. Yeah, I'm doing the "moping", it's severely depressing, to the extent that I've not felt until now... I know that I have to move on, but I'm thinking that we can still talk , but I don't know how the conversation would go, so I'm not sure.

Point is that I'm too hesitant to try and patch things up, but it makes sense that if I enlisted that I would be running away from my problems. I'm still in love with her though, so as of now I don't see it getting patched up because of the severity... ....
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06-28-11 09:44 AM
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At least you're not in denial. Being in the "moping" stage means that you're aware of your true feelings, and that's good. As I've told you it took me months to stop moping around, but we still talk with this person. I know it's like leaving a wound open, but I can't cut all bridges, because I do care how things are going for my "special" friend. Maybe that's bad for you, but for myself I prefer to keep in touch.

In my mind, you shouldn't decide about serious things right now, not while being in such a depressing stage. Give it some time and make up your mind after a month or so.
At least you're not in denial. Being in the "moping" stage means that you're aware of your true feelings, and that's good. As I've told you it took me months to stop moping around, but we still talk with this person. I know it's like leaving a wound open, but I can't cut all bridges, because I do care how things are going for my "special" friend. Maybe that's bad for you, but for myself I prefer to keep in touch.

In my mind, you shouldn't decide about serious things right now, not while being in such a depressing stage. Give it some time and make up your mind after a month or so.
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06-28-11 09:57 AM
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I'd say its perfectly normal.

Like noelia, I don't feel the pain, but unlike her, it's not that I run away scared, most of my break ups are caused by a lack of interest in the person. It takes a lot to keep me interested, and I don't want to settle, so break ups are easy for me. However, the girls I break up with don't take it so well :s

Anyway, back to you...

I think you should feel sad for a while, but move on soon after, and do what you WANT to do. If that's military enlistment, then go for it.You should do what feels right.

I'm sorry I can't be of much help, all I can do is say I'm here if you need me, and I can listen. Thats about it =/
I'd say its perfectly normal.

Like noelia, I don't feel the pain, but unlike her, it's not that I run away scared, most of my break ups are caused by a lack of interest in the person. It takes a lot to keep me interested, and I don't want to settle, so break ups are easy for me. However, the girls I break up with don't take it so well :s

Anyway, back to you...

I think you should feel sad for a while, but move on soon after, and do what you WANT to do. If that's military enlistment, then go for it.You should do what feels right.

I'm sorry I can't be of much help, all I can do is say I'm here if you need me, and I can listen. Thats about it =/
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06-28-11 11:20 PM
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tRIUNE: What was the fallout over?I know a thing or two about having fallouts with friends many of whom I
have known for years similar to this.It
would be a shame for one argument to lead to the end of a friendship unless it
was something really serious.Either way
it is a rough thing to go through especially if you’re close to that
person.As I said I know from personal
experience.
As far as your idea to go into the military I applaud anyone
who wants to go and defend our country however, I think you should only enlist
if it is something you truly want to do and not as a form of reaction to a
dispute between friends.If you are not
going in for the right reasons you might end up doing a disservice to yourself
in the long run.
I myself have had family who have served and if it weren’t
for my physical limitations I might have considered serving myself in some way
so I have the upmost respect for those who do serve our country.In regard to your friend like I asked what
was the fallout over and was it anything serious?
I hope you can work everything out. The fact is people tend
to come in and out of your life as they please it seems (I know from
experience) but real true friends are truly hard to come by and if you’ve been
friends with someone that long you owe it to yourself to try and salvage the
relationship and not let one fight end things.
I wish you the best of luck…
tRIUNE: What was the fallout over?I know a thing or two about having fallouts with friends many of whom I
have known for years similar to this.It
would be a shame for one argument to lead to the end of a friendship unless it
was something really serious.Either way
it is a rough thing to go through especially if you’re close to that
person.As I said I know from personal
experience.
As far as your idea to go into the military I applaud anyone
who wants to go and defend our country however, I think you should only enlist
if it is something you truly want to do and not as a form of reaction to a
dispute between friends.If you are not
going in for the right reasons you might end up doing a disservice to yourself
in the long run.
I myself have had family who have served and if it weren’t
for my physical limitations I might have considered serving myself in some way
so I have the upmost respect for those who do serve our country.In regard to your friend like I asked what
was the fallout over and was it anything serious?
I hope you can work everything out. The fact is people tend
to come in and out of your life as they please it seems (I know from
experience) but real true friends are truly hard to come by and if you’ve been
friends with someone that long you owe it to yourself to try and salvage the
relationship and not let one fight end things.
I wish you the best of luck…
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06-29-11 09:36 AM
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yeah i know the feelign and ive got a friend who attempted twice over a break up. Youve still got life left in you use it, its going to be hard without a partner you loved and god knows ive been there, you need to get nestled in with a group of friends and recoopurate (sorry forgot how to spell it) the severity of your situation may be alot worse but life is worth living. Join the army if you want its your life but make sure its really what you want to do let the event cool over for a while longer and make sure your not making a rash decision you'll later regret.
yeah i know the feelign and ive got a friend who attempted twice over a break up. Youve still got life left in you use it, its going to be hard without a partner you loved and god knows ive been there, you need to get nestled in with a group of friends and recoopurate (sorry forgot how to spell it) the severity of your situation may be alot worse but life is worth living. Join the army if you want its your life but make sure its really what you want to do let the event cool over for a while longer and make sure your not making a rash decision you'll later regret.
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06-29-11 10:35 AM
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Oh yes that happened to me actually a few weeks ago at the end of the school year. I saw my girlfriend very close to one of my friends, most of my respect for them is gone. That took me a while to get over because we were beyond close. I really was sad and I laid in my bed for two days straight finally on the morning after I talked with both of them, I still have inner scars...

Your feelings are normal, just do not do anything hasty...
Oh yes that happened to me actually a few weeks ago at the end of the school year. I saw my girlfriend very close to one of my friends, most of my respect for them is gone. That took me a while to get over because we were beyond close. I really was sad and I laid in my bed for two days straight finally on the morning after I talked with both of them, I still have inner scars...

Your feelings are normal, just do not do anything hasty...
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06-29-11 10:42 AM
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Break ups suck but the best thing to do is to move on if that person was really your friend she would not have been like that to you
Break ups suck but the best thing to do is to move on if that person was really your friend she would not have been like that to you
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06-29-11 06:14 PM
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bvd1022 : I talked with her and it turns out I was the one with the problems; I thought about and it makes sense - it was just my stupidity in being argumentative. But I don't think she wants anything serious for the time being (probably for a while). That's fine though, she's still willing to be friends. But yeah, I had previously taken the pre-qualifying test for the ASVAB and scored 15 points above the requirement, I couldn't enlist because of my probation though.

Meh, I'm thinking I'll give it about a month and see if I'll still enlist.

bvd1022 : I talked with her and it turns out I was the one with the problems; I thought about and it makes sense - it was just my stupidity in being argumentative. But I don't think she wants anything serious for the time being (probably for a while). That's fine though, she's still willing to be friends. But yeah, I had previously taken the pre-qualifying test for the ASVAB and scored 15 points above the requirement, I couldn't enlist because of my probation though.

Meh, I'm thinking I'll give it about a month and see if I'll still enlist.

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