I decided to put this here, because it's more of a mature subject, and I'm more likely to get better responses in here.

So here's the deal

The past two days, have pretty much sucked for me.

I am lonely, isolated, and have virtually no way to go out and meet friends. I have a few real life friends (but being an adult, most of my friends are always busy), I tried getting a job, I tried doing a lot of things, but nothing is working. I cry at night sometimes, the only person left to me, that makes me even want to live is my girlfriend. But sometimes...

I don't entirely think she is paying attention to me. Sometimes, she won't respond for the longest time. And when she does, she doesn't say too much, so I feel like she was a little bored with me, we've made up since then, and plan on getting married in a couple years.

But the main problem is that I am very reliant on her, because I really have no one else. Like I have said, I have TRIED doing things, but it's hard to do things in this small town (and can't do much till October, moving!)

I considered suicide the past two days, because lets face it. Life Sucks. I'm alone and miserable, my own parents exiled me to my grandmother's house, I have a high school diploma, and nothing to speak of it, I had to drop out of college due to "medical" reasons, and I'm beginning to feel like I've had to turn to alcohol to get rid of a lot of these thoughts.

Most of my friends on this site, have witnessed my behavior over this in the past few months, so they know more of what I'm talking about, but some people think it's just me overreacting to a common facet of life.

If this is a common facet of life, that makes me feel worse about feeling like this, and makes me feel like I really DONT belong here.

I'm afraid that I might try attempting it again (I attempted suicide once before, and failed/succeeded, however you want to look at it), and I am not calling suicide hotline, they've never helped me before, so don't bother suggesting that.

Don't do it. Your life isn't that bad man. Instead of focusing on what you don't have, focus on what you have. You have loving friends, a girlfriend, and even though you say that your parents "exiled" you, they love you. All parents love their children.

Just because you haven't gotten a job yet, that doesn't mean that you should stop trying. Try harder.

I'm sure that your girlfriend is just busy. My friend gets my messages and sometimes she takes the whole day before she gets around to answering them. If you really want someone to talk to, you can always talk to me. I'm always available on here to talk.

And hypothetically, let's just say that your life is horrible, then why be selfish and end it? Spend your time helping others. When I help people I feel pretty good. Try that.

You have a lot more to be happy about than me man. You're engaged, you are physically fit, everyone likes you, and you're just a cool guy.

You need to remember that no matter how bad things seem, they can only get so bad. I was depressed for over 6 months and I managed to break out of it. I made some new friends, got into baseball again, took my art more seriously, etc.

Please man, don't give up. You're my best friend on here.

From what I've seen here, you have a lot of friends on this site who would be more than willing to occupy your free time and cheer you up. I'm not going to call you selfish or anything, because I don't know how you feel, and to be honest, it's YOUR life, not mine. I would hope you will not go through with this, as it can really only get better from here. With your job problem, try to start small, minimum wage is better than nothing, right? I don't know how hard it is too find a job, but my friends are still IN highschool and they have some, but I hope you manage all right. " ... and makes me feel like I really DONT belong here." Well, about that. There are some really horrible people in this world, but your a pretty nice guy. I really don't know what to say, but hang in there I guess, at least you live in the good ol' USA

Life is wonderful. Don't you ever think it isn't. Life is simply wonderful.

Think about it.

Think of all the ways DNA could of formed. A brilliant scientist could of been born. A great artist could of took your place here on this blue dot.

But you were born.

Now think of all the others that could of took your place but were never born.

So stop belly aching, don't cry over soemthing like life, of all things. Cry over things that cannot be fixed. Don't think of suicide, thats basically being a little girl about something as great as life.

Live. Because you don't want to. Because you said you can't. The prime time of your life is now, my friend. Live it.

If you're having problems with your gal, give her space. You're the one to go to her when she's crying, she needs your attention. Not the other way around.

Harden the slag up, Leggy.

Am I being harsh? If you think I am, good. If you're upset, use that frustration and start to turn your life around into something you want it to be. If you're going through hell, keep going.

Can't go out and meet friends? But you can sit and think about offing yourself? Well, if you really feel that way, what do you have to lose? Go out and live without regrets. Go make pals, go run around, live. Then you'll see how great life is.

Stop being sad and be awesome instead. Godspeed.

If you're not working and you don't have many friends, here's an easy way to take care of most of your difficulties: Volunteer.

You said small town, but if you go volunteer at a church or a school or any place, you'll perk up. You'll be helping people, you'll be doing something with your time, you'll meet new folks and maybe make some new friends, and you'll be giving to the community. People like others who give and other folks will look at you with renewed respect.

If you volunteer to help somewhere, you can also potentially get a job out of it. Someone will see you and think, "Wow, that kid's doing a good job. I can use him." Go from there.

Go to the nearest church. Ask if they need any help doing anything. If they say no go to the next church. Go to a local gym, or YMCA, and see if they need help. Just walk right up to the front door, find the office, and volunteer.

I promise you'll feel better.

Good lucK!

dont suicide ur kinda cool plus the only thing ur life is like that becuz of satan, he gives bad life, pray for god to give u a better good life u have much to do u have friends play video games hang out and stuff suiciding makes a spirit goto hell

cop7000 :

I am an atheist. So I don't believe in those things. Thanks anyway.

warmaker :

I've tried, but most of the time, they don't really want my help.

JazzCoon :

Not harsh at all.

Sephitard9001 :

It's mostly because of the small town, not the hard to get job, if I lived in a bigger town it would be easier.

NotJon :

Cool story bro =P

Thanks for the help guys.

legacyme3 : Ah, I see. It would be cool if you could scrape money together to go traveling around the country to sight see. Then it might take your mind off things.

Okay, small town all that...

You said you're an adult, right? Move. Throw a dart at a map, move to that location, and start fresh. You'll feel liberated, you'll probably find work in a bigger town and you can live on your own and feel the adventure of being free.

If you don't like where you're at, make a change.

Leggy: I understand how you feel. I at times feel the same way. I don't have a lot of real life friends like I did when I was in high school. A lot of them either moved away or got married and are too busy with "being in love" to even notice me. I really wish I had a magical solution for you, but I don't. Fortunately for me if I focus on other things, I tend to not think about it too much. Thankfully I have a lot of online friends, who I care just as much about as I do my real life friends. For me, whomever I meet, online or off, is REAL life.

All I can do is offer support and a listening ear. I wish I knew what else to say or give you great advice, but even I, myself don't know the answer or solution to this problem as I am dealing with it myself. Just know I am here if you need to talk or vent. I am sure things will get better for you.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. If you end your life you will not live to see things get better. You will not live to feel happy again. You will not feel happiness and peace because you are dead. It is not a way to make things better. No matter how much it may hurt right now, things will get better. But not if you're dead.

This may be offensive, but I think suicide is cowardly and selfish. Especially if you have a girlfriend. It would devastate the people who care about you. Which includes me.

"suicide is cowardly and selfish"

So we agree on some things, at least.

The fact that you posted something here is a good indicator that you do not really want to kill yourself. You want attention, to feel loved and needed. Like Annette said, suicide is cowardly and selfish... it is also profoundly stupid.

My advice? Get professional help... not the suicide hotline, an actual therapist. Right now you are dumping a lot of it on your girlfriend, and I am sure that she has tried to help, but since nothing she does has been working she is more than likely feeling overwhelmed and cannot handle it anymore, hence the distancing. It isn't that she is bored, it is that you are inadvertently pushing her away. You need to rely on yourself, not another person, you are not a parasite so do not act like one.

Trying to get a job or do something once and not succeeding does not mean that it is doomed to failure. The economy sucks, lots of people cannot get jobs. You just need to keep trying and expand your search area. Try temp agencies or something like that. You are moving in October? Are you actually planning for the move? You should be. You should also be looking for things in the place you are moving to. Go online and do some hunting, make goals. If you can drive there now, go check things out. That alone should pull you out of your funk, focus on what you NEED to do instead of sitting around feeling sorry for yourself because if you continue to do that you will only make it worse, you may do something stupid, and then you will really be depressed.

I have had my own bouts of depression and feelings of isolation and helplessness. I speak bluntly not to be mean but because in these situations that blunt honesty is what people need to hear most even if they do not like it. From what I have seen here on the board you seem like a very good person, so don't let yourself get sucked in by your problems, rise above them.